Not everyone is blessed with a large family. Some have willingly ended their fertility and never looked back. Others have done so and later regretted it. Many more labor hard to attain contentment as God's plan unfolded for their lives and it did not include for them a large family as they had hoped.
For those of us who have been given this great privilege, we know that it is not a perfect life. An easy, pain-free life exists for no family, big or small. But some of the struggles large families face can be unique. Or at least packaged differently. The doubts and fears might center on wondering if there is enough of you to go around, fear of peoples' reaction when you announce another pregnancy, how to make the grocery budget stretch for an army of people, and the endurance to keep vigilance over so many hearts. Because it will be a decades-long task.
But there are so many beautiful blessings that come with having a large family. We must remind ourselves often and "Bless the Lord, O my soul, forget not his benefits!" One of the reasons we grow discouraged, weary in our work or begin to doubt that we are equipped is because we fail to remember. If we don't intentionally choose to remember what God has done and the bounty of goodness he's lavished on us when he gave us so many children, we can lose sight of why we started this journey of faith. It is a short fall into the well of self-pity.
The Apostle Peter wrote to the saints that he was stirring them up by way of reminder. We all need stirring, and often. I do. I am stirring myself up by choosing to remember what God has done when he made me to bear and care for so many.
Ten blessings that come with having a large family:
1.) It is a gift to the children
There is always someone to play with. This truth is what made me take notice of big families before I had one. There is never a person left out or lonesome or bored. If one sibling doesn't want to jump on the trampoline right then, or work that puzzle with you, or go on a bike ride, you just move on to another one until someone says yes. Or maybe you want to watch a movie that most everyone else thinks is corny. Eventually you will find someone to watch that movie or play that game.
2.) There is always someone to talk to
True, this is another gift to the children, but it is also a gift to the parents. I love having my teens around to talk to, laugh with, discuss deeper issues with, confide in and be confided in. It is pure joy to have your children walk in truth and become allies and buddies.
I love having my middle-aged kids to visit with because they are so open, transparent and humble, eagerly sharing news and stories that excite them. Conversations with them often leave me humbled and asking God to make me more child-like.
And it is such sweetness to gather up a toddler or preschooler in your lap. They speak without any filter. What ever is on the mind, comes right out the mouth. Precious.
3.) The incredible power of positive peer pressure
The power of influence that older children have over younger ones is astounding. If a bad habit or an ugly word is said by a one child, chances are the younger children will repeat it. Thankfully, the opposite is also true.
Sibling influence is a mighty tool of God to help us form godly character. Younger children want to please their older siblings almost as much as they do their parents. Instead of children having only the praise and encouragement of their parents to love God, obey and show courtesy and kindness to others, they also have the example of the older kids who are already doing it.
Later on in middle childhood and teens, I have seen enormous benefits of the power of positive peer pressure between siblings. When they get into sticky situations, the gift of a sibling nearby helps them remain steadfast to what they have been taught. There is safety in numbers: And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecc. 4:12
4.) It is fun
When you combine the unfiltered comments of toddlers and preschoolers, with the silliness and energy of the middle-aged children, and add to that the wittiness of teens, you have a recipe for tons of laughter. It is hard to take life too seriously in this environment. Laughter is good medicine.
5.) Opportunities to share and serve others
In a large family there is no lack of opportunities to share and serve what you have with others. Sharing and serving is a great thing. It builds spiritual muscles they will need as adults, especially when they marry. It is a great weapon in the fight against the entitlement syndrome, the laziness syndrome and the selfishness syndrome.
Sharing what we have and taking care of the needs of others is what Christians are called to do. The "one anothers" begin in the home.
6.) Work gets done quickly
My kids can demolish a room in about 30 minutes. They can have it cleaned up in 15.
From the oldest to the youngest, everyone is capable of doing something, and so many hands keeping busy means it happens fast. (And working together, brings hearts together.)
7.) Ministry Opportunities
The more hands there are to serve, the more people that can be served. We can branch out in different directions, even dividing our family in half or thirds, and get twice or three times the service done for other people.
8.) Older Parents
Often large families have older parents and this is a great blessing to the children. My younger kids' childhoods look a lot different than my older ones, for several reasons. For one they don't have a young, energetic mom (It blows my mind now to remember that I used to work the graveyard shift at a hospital and then come home and care for them all day, surviving on naptime alone). Also, I know I am not as creative about homeschooling as I was when it was all brand-new and exciting. But I still think the younger ones have a unique blessing that the older ones didn't.
They have a mom and dad who have grown in knowledge of God and the scriptures and so they have grown in grace and humility. With years of life, come trials. For all of us. Trials are where spiritual growth comes from. It's where a deeper understanding of God's character comes. And that growth in faith helps us as we parent and show the same love of God to our children, that he has shown us.
A few hard knocks of life like job loss, church conflicts, long illness, extended family drama, financial crises, the shock of learning that your older kids will fail, helps you be more ready with encouragement than rebukes. With years should come wisdom. And wisdom, for us, has meant we are heavier on mercy, forgiveness, tenderness and making the most of the days we've been given. I think not having the same levels of energy and creativity is just fine anyway because keeping life simple leaves us more time for investing in relationships instead of chasing our tails here and there.
The older children, who had us as young parents, benefit also. They receive the unique gift of watching their parents care for, teach and train little ones. I was 17 when my younger sister was born and it was a huge help to me when my Shelbi was born just a few years later.
9.) Opportunity of living out our faith
A large family is contrary to the world. We all know that. We've all been the butt of the cheesey jokes that the person telling thinks are original. We have all had to awkwardly field personal questions that cross the boundary of socially acceptable. Why is it so common?
One reason it is common is because all people everywhere stay stupid things about everything under the sun, not just your birth control practice. If you are building a house, someone will tell you a story about the disaster it was when they built a house and how they nearly got a divorce. If you are single, someone will ask you wouldn't you like to be married. Its just human nature and we all do it. This is particularly fun to watch on Facebook. If ten people comment on a status, often at least one will be something you could have lived your whole life without hearing. It's the way of human beings. It's just that we can recognize it so much easier in others than we do ourselves.
But another reason this is common is because large families are anything but normal. Generally speaking, the world does not like kids, at least not for more than photo opportunities. And since the world doesn't like them, to see a whole bunch of them all at once, is odd.
Having a lot of children is a bold statement of faith. It isn't the only one, but it definitely is one nevertheless.
Of all the strange comments we have received, last year on vacation, we got a new one. All of us, minus Kevin, walked into a book store. The manager counted us, looked at the kids like they were behind glass at a zoo, asked the usual questions about age span, were they from one marriage, etc. Kevin later walked in and the manager asked to shake his hand and had to know what chain of restaurants he owned to be able to support so many kids.
This was just one more opportunity to present something different and unusual to this curious man. "God has always provided for us. We have never done without anything we need."
These are opportunities to plant seeds at least and share the message of the gospel at best. A large family can be a city on a hill.
10.) A Spiritual Heritage
Children are a reward, Psalm 127:3 says. Even though they were "conceived in sin" (Psalm 51:5). So God said they were a reward even though he knew they would write on the walls, make noise in church and get stomach bugs at the worst possible times. He said they are blessings even though they wake up at night, have trouble getting along at times and need almost constant correction and heart-tending.
Kids sin against us and each other and they keep us crying out for help. This doesn't mean they are blessings-gone-wrong. Our kids are sinners in need of grace. They don't come out as arrows, ready to meet with enemies. Part of the blessing of children is in the discipline they need. If it weren't for challenges we would never recognize our desperate need for God and His Word. Kids are a constant reminder that we need Him.
When little ones test our authority and seek to go their own way, we get to proclaim the gospel to them. These are evangelistic opportunities. No need to go on a mission trip Mamas, it's right in front of you! Rebellious, stubborn little people who need Jesus are looking you right in the face. And who better to introduce them to Jesus, forgiveness and renewed fellowship....than you?
I'm thankful to be called Mama by nine people. I'm thankful for the opportunity to train them up, exhausting as it is at times. Just because something is hard doesn't mean it is the wrong thing. Often, just the opposite. I'm thankful for all these added blessings that come when just getting to know each one them would be far more than I deserved.
These are not the only blessings that come with a large family. What are some others?
Related:
How to Keep a Beautiful Home
Ten Reasons I'm Glad My Children Are Close in Age
Do You Have Eternity Stamped on Your Eyeballs?
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