At risk of sounding like my Granddad, I have read with increasing despair the coverage of the behaviour of at some spectators at last weeks internationals, its also brought home to me a trend which sadly seems to becoming ever more prominent among those who attend at least some rugby matches.
First of all a confession, I freely admit to being 50 something, middle class, male.
About 45 years ago I recall my Granddad taking me to watch my first "proper" Rugby match, it was early April ( birthday treat) and Cardiff were playing Llanelli at the Arms Park, although I can't remember the score, I do remember that Gareth Edwards played for Cardiff and I still have the programme he signed for me after the game.
Last season I had the pleasure of taking my own grandson (aged 6) to watch his first "proper" live game, this time it was Cardiff (or the Blues if you will) playing Newport (or the Dragons) again at the Arms Park.
In between these two events, I was lucky enough to play rugby to a reasonable standard, and I have been fortunate enough to watch Rugby live in various locations around the world.
From that first trip to the Arms Park 40 plus years ago, I understood that there was certain code of behaviour for Rugby fans:
The kickers on both sides deserve silence
If the opposition score you clap politely
If a player of either side gets taken off injured you clap politely
The ref is fair game in relation to his decision making, lack of eyesight etc, but his decision is final.
Players do not argue with the ref, or feign injury.
The person next to you may well support the other side, and banter is fine but it should never be personal, and the end of the day this still just a game.
These rules have stood the test of time, and of many matches, they mark us Rugby fans out from other sports ( football), and make Rugby matches an experience like no other. We can still support our own time, still be partisan, still think the ref as in idiot and that the other side are all cheating, but when the final whistle goes, you can turn to the person next to you in the opposition shirt and say "well done", or "we was robbed" and then invite him (or her) for a beer.
If we loose these things we loose a big part of what makes Rugby special.
Over the years rugby crowds have largely been self- policing I recall standing on the terrace at Sardis Rd with my wife in 1990's watching Cardiff play Ponty when a couple of younger lads started shouting racist comments at Nigel Walker only to be told very firmly by some of the other "Ponty Boys" that there were ladies present, so obscenities were not acceptable, and that having a go at Nigel's skin colour was a no-no (not exactly the words they used!!!).
If we want Rugby to retain these traditions then its down to use the "real" supported to put the minority in thee place, the answer is not letters to the Guardian, RFU investigations or reports in Western Fail, its the supporters making it clear that certain things are just not acceptable.