It is with trembling hands (both literally and figuratively)* that I join the Sunday Post meme hosted by Kimba at the Caffeinated Book Reviewer Blog. The Sunday Post is a chance to share news, recap the past week, and showcase books (and, for me, music) every Sunday and, as I’ve been a little off when it comes to blogging lately, I figured I’d give it a go.
What’s new?
I haven’t blogged at all so far this year. I’m not entirely sure what to talk about these days because I’m afraid that writing so publicly about my feelings will only mess things up.
So far, things are going okay. Everything’s smooth and steady. I spent 3 weeks travelling around India in January which was wonderful and horrible and incredible and frightening and good and bad all at the same time. I spent the last week relaxing in Rishikesh doing nothing but sitting in cafes along the Ganges river, reading, and making friends with the locals. That last week gave me a chance to be present and not have to worry about anything – Not my job, not my life in Korea, not my impending move, not an itinerary full of tourist sites to visit. Nothing. I just ate good Indian food, drank my weight in chai tea, and stuck my nose in a book.
I loved it.
After India, I visited my family and friends in Wales for the first time in 2 years. I don’t think they ever realised that during that short visit, their love gave me confidence, energy, and a newly restored sense of worth.
On my journey back to Korea, I had a changeover in Helsinki. As I sat at my gate, I found myself surrounded by the Korean language for the first time in 4 weeks and I immediately felt my body tense up and almost sink in to itself. My heart beat faster and faster as I felt my courage and joy slip away.
This reaction was both scary and a reassuring sign that I’d made the right decision to move in March.
I want to move to Singapore as the real me – the one who comes alive when she’s surrounded by her loved ones back home. I don’t want to crumple back into my depressed self and arrive into my new life and job with a scowl.
So, lately, my life has been all about staying calm.
I refuse to get riled up about the little things. I refuse to get stressed out as my moving date inches its way closer.
Every day, I do one little thing that will help ease the moving process along; It could be as big as buying my plane ticket or as small as putting a few household items up for sale.
I refuse to feel overwhelmed. ‘Stay calm’ and ‘Don’t do everything all at once’ are two of the most important mantras in my life right now.
I have a history of over-stressing and over-worrying when it comes to moving to a new place. This time around it’s been tranquil. I’ve been afraid of writing about it up until now in case I jinx myself. It’s no secret that I hit a dark cloud over the last 2 years and am working hard to try and bring myself out of it; Adding extra stress and worry is not going to help anybody.
The good news is that one of the main things that’s been helping to keep me calm lately is reading.
As I was indulging in the art of doing nothing in India, my books became my best friends. When I arrived in Wales, my parents presented me with a new Kindle as a Christmas/birthday present.
Since then, I’ve read more in the last 7 weeks than I did for the entirety of 2015.
My settee, my bed, my office, and my English room have all become a kind of meditation chamber. But instead of meditating, I disappear into the world of my books and immediately feel comforted.
The combination of reading and the endless stream of music that plays from my computer, phone, or iPod is exactly what I need right now.
I’m excited and happy about my move to Singapore but, overall, it’s this calmness that’s going to carry me there.
Books Read (Jan 1st-Feb 17th)
+ Just Kids by Patti Smith
+ Are You Experienced? by William Sutcliffe
+ Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert
+ Sex and the Beatles by Jeff Walker
+ Daddy Long Legs by Jean Webster
+ Without You, There is No Us: My Time with the Sons of North Korea’s Elite by Suki Kim
+ Yes Please by Amy Poehler
+ Nana Vol. 2 by Ai Yazawa
+ Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote
Yesterday I also finished re-reading a favourite of mine, Miss O’Dell by Chris O’Dell, the memoir of the first female tour manager in rock & roll. For some reason, a few articles and reviews surrounding this book describe O’Dell as a groupie but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She started her career as a personal assistant to the Beatles, Derek and the Dominoes, and then the Rolling Stones. Following that, she went on to become tour manager to the likes of CSNY, Bob Dylan, the Grateful Dead, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Santana, Frank Zappa, ELO, Fleetwood Mac and Phil Collins (to name a few). It’s an incredible read, really well written, and truly fascinating for any music fans out there.
Last night I started reading the one and only Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. While I already know the story, having seen the 1997 film version, this book is definitely proving to be an uncomfortable read. Just being inside the narrator’s head turns my stomach so it’ll be interesting to see how this one pans out.
Currently Listening to:
Last week I couldn’t get enough Eric Clapton in my life. All I did was air guitar every evening for a week straight.
This may have been triggered by hearing news that his new album is due for release later this year and will feature a special guest on one of the tracks: Mr George Harrison, the Scouse of Distinction.
This weekend, though, it’s been all about Jimi because, let’s face it, no weekend is complete without a little Hendrix.
Links to things I loved this week:
Someone’s Gotta Be Last @ Live Travel More (I legit cried reading this. So proud of Timah.)
To Anyone Who Thinks They’re Falling Behind in Life @ Huffington Post
I’m Moving to China @ Travel Lush
5 Reasons I Don’t Like Living in Korea @ Willful and Wildhearted
~*~
*(Literally because I had an Asthma attack this morning & my body was still shaking when I started writing this post; Figuratively because my confidence in writing is not quite where is used to be.)