castellankurze:
shitpost generator
John Egbert:
you cant drown in a sea of beard oil
Rose Lalonde:
i gaze solemnly out of the car window. droplets of rain slide down and collect on its surface. the pigeon-grey sky is clouded over and thick with cold crisp moisture. i turn to you and say what we have both been thinking: i want to acquire chaos
Dave Strider: im going to go back in time and understand knives
Davesprite:
i saw a bird once and you can’t tell me they dont experience hell
Jade Harley:
the goal: interact with furries
Jane Crocker:
i’m a jaded teenage girl. i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of. i escape friendship
Roxy Lalonde: *sees another human being* time to fill the void left by death
Dirk Strider:
(leading you on a tour of the house) and here is the room where i draw heterosexuals
Jake English:
(leading u on a secluded path thru the woods) yeah i guess you could say i escape wolves
Aradia Megido:
why cant we all just get along and love death
Tavros Nitram:
i’m not like those other guys. i endorse monsters?
Sollux Captor:
According to all known laws of aviation there is no way a bee should be able to get along with others despite differing opinions about friends
Karkat Vantas:
im just small and i thrash on the floor and yell about it?
Nepeta Leijon:
do you think i think deeply about fursonas?
Kanaya Maryam:
i’m fun. i’m flirty and cute. i’m gonna feed off actual flesh?
Terezi Pyrope:
im trapped in a babies r us right now which is substantially worse than a toys r us. i havent seen daylight for months and i cannot escape. please rescue me from baby hell so i can once again pretend to be dragons
Vriska Serket:
your fave is problematic: they pretend to care about everything good in the world
Equius Zahhak:
one thing ive learned is that its surprisingly difficult to endorse milk
Gamzee Makara:
a bumper sticker that reads: honk if you sell meat
Eridan Ampora:
(reclining in an antique armchair and sipping a thick black liquid from a wine glass) ah. i suppose its time to betray civilization
Feferi Peixes:
i love fish because they love my aesthetic
Calliope:
dear diary….today i am going to romanticize homestuck
Caliborn:
do you hear the people sing? singing the song of angry men? it is the music of me when i disregard good things
Andrew Hussie:
im going to write a modern version of romeo and juliet where they both worship horses