Posted on January 6, 2013 by admin
Good manners and instilling them in a toddler
isn’t always easy. Because little ones are still developing and learning
about the world around them through exploration and experimentation,
they don’t always take well to boundaries and guidelines. These 10 tips
can help you work with your toddler to encourage good manners and lay
the foundation for future lessons in etiquette as they get older.
Model Good Manners – When you’re attempting to
teach your toddler the basics of politeness and good manners, you must
keep in mind that much of toddlers’ learned behavior is modeled after
what they observe the loved and admired adults in their lives
exhibiting. One of the best and most effective ways to help her learn
good manners is to make sure that you always say things like “please”
and “thank you” yourself.
Start Small – The world of manners and etiquette is
vast and can be complicated for some adults to navigate properly. The
key to helping your child learn the more subtle points of mannerly
behavior as she gets older is to keep your lessons age appropriate,
starting with simple concepts during the toddler years. Sharing, asking
nicely, and showing gratitude are great places to start.
Make Play Dates Learning Experiences – Your child
is learning about the world and her surroundings through exploration and
play, which is why play dates can be such valuable teaching tools. If
you’re focusing on sharing, make sure that she’s being reminded politely
that she should always share her toys. If the goal is mastering
“please” and “thank you,” point out the times when those phrases are
appropriate.
Be Consistent – It can be frustrating to attempt to
instill civility and manners into a toddler that seems to show no
interest in accepting those skills, but it’s important that you don’t
give up out of frustration. Consistency, repetition and structure are
key components to teaching young children new skills.
Use Positive Reinforcement – If your parenting style allows for tangible rewards
for good behavior, make sure that you’re rewarding any exhibitions of
good manners. If not, it’s important to praise her accomplishments and
let her know that she’s done the right thing by choosing to be polite in
any given situation.
Make Mealtimes Work for You – Sitting still and
focusing aren’t key strengths typically exhibited by toddlers, which is
why you may find that you have more luck working with your little one
during meal times. Coaching on “please” and “thank you” during meals,
along with asking nicely for things and behaving as well as possible,
can help to build a strong foundation for future lessons.
Keep Your Expectations Realistic – Expecting a
toddler to master the more subtle nuances of polite social interaction
simply isn’t realistic, and will only lead to both of you feeling
disappointed and frustrated. Focus on the things that your toddler is
able to learn, and save the lessons on dessert forks until she’s a bit older.
Think About Your Disciplinary Tactics – Look at how
you’re disciplining your child, and determine whether or not it’s
conducive to helping her learn good manners. If you resort to shouting
and angry words when she’s not doing what you expect, it’ll be difficult
to instill the concept of inside voices and calm requests.
Take a Trip to the Local Bookstore – Many of the
major milestones in early childhood are discussed in children’s books
tailored specifically to the attention span and developmental needs of
little ones. Switching out a favorite bedtime story for a new book about
manners can be a great way of helping her to apply the concept in a way that she understands.
Explain Why Manners Matter – For older toddlers, it
may be necessary to explain why learning good manners are important,
especially if they’re naturally exuberant. Taking the time to calmly and
firmly explain about hurting the feelings of those around them and
being nice to the people they know can make a noticeable difference.
Working with your children to build the groundwork for good manners
and behavior is a task that doesn’t always go as planned. Try to keep in
mind that every child develops at her own pace, and she may take longer
to grasp the concepts of sharing, gratitude and politeness than her
siblings or peers. Continuing to work with her on these concepts while
maintaining as much patience as possible is the best way to reinforce
good manners.
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