2014-01-21



Danny Alexander is likely to be the only remaining member of The Liberal Democratic Party by 2015 according to a leading political think tank entrusted to predict who exactly is going to be left in the Liberal Democratic party by 2015.

In a statement released this morning, the think tank argues “We have reason to believe that there’ll soon be a mass walk out of Lib Dem Members who haven’t been propositioned by Lord Rennard. By abandoning the party they’ll be allowed to sit next to him again and flutter their eye lashes in hope they themselves might be next in line for a spot of alleged goosing. Nick Clegg is likely to go back to basics and live on his trust fund. Vince Cable we think will turn his back on politics to run a boutique delicatessen. And that just leaves Beaker.”

However there may be more to Mr Alexander’s future decision to stay with the party than meets the eye.

A spokesman for next year explained “He’d have left as well if he’d been able to. But George Osborne and David Cameron need someone to take the flack and do press interviews for all their unpopular decisions. So they’ve superglued him into the one remaining chair in the otherwise empty and abandoned Lib Dem offices where he waits for visits from television news teams and apologises for Government policies in return for food.”

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