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We peek into the crystal ball for a look at what will happen in sports next year.
There was a crystal ball sitting idly in a corner of the office, so why not take it for a spin?
One of our longstanding New Year’s traditions is the annual predictions column for the coming year.
An intentionally tongue-in-cheek endeavor, it was handled exclusively in past years by Filip Bondy, who always managed to do so with the wit and fearlessness and irreverence that Daily News readers and Bleacher Creatures everywhere know punctuated his columns.
So, no pressure, right?
As everyone does in life and business, we all move forward.
To be sure, the odds of even coming close to living up to previous comedic standards seem longer than the Sixers making the playoffs this spring.
With that said, here is a blind stab about what to look for in the sports world for 2016.
JANUARY
Who says nothing changes on New Year’s Day? (Actually it was U2, not The Who, according to Abbott and Costello).
At least the two college football semifinals will take place at the Orange Bowl and the Cotton Bowl on Jan. 1, right?
What?!? We finally have a playoff system, and they are playing these games on New Year’s Eve, the one night of the year that nobody is home?
Dumber than “Dumb and Dumber, To”.
But it will be Alabama over Clemson for the championship.
Some people will tweet about “bacne.” Others will scream “there’s no proof!”
But Mike Piazza (and no-brainer Junior Griffey) — not Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens — will make the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Just when you thought for the first time ever that life as a Mets fan couldn’t get any better.
I mean, other than #Metspedes still being available.
And the Wilpons operating as if this is, you know, some mom-and-pop sporting goods store in Smalltown, USA.
The Giants deservedly will not host a playoff game. The Jets, with 10 or 11 wins, also will be watching on TV.
FEBRUARY
The Patriots won’t be in the Super Bowl, but we still will make sure to talk plenty about Tom Brady’s balls.
The wild-card Seahawks make it to SB-50. Pete Carroll calls a running play at the goal line. They still lose.
To Brock Osweiler and Denver.
The final score of the All-Star Game will be 136-130.
We’re talking NHL, not NBA. They’re playing 3-on-3 this year.
Berman of the Post (registered trademark, Isola) will write that Porzingis “was snubbed!” for the NBA version.
A-Rod announces he has been named honorary mayor of Tampa during spring training. Everybody loves A-Rod.
Stallone cops the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Creed.
Brook Lopez and other Star Wars crazies believe the dude in the Chewbacca suit was robbed.
MARCH
Chris Mullin signs up for night courses, suits up for the Big East tournament. At 52, he’s still the best player at St. John’s.
Bartolo Colon will start every spring training game for the Mets. Everyone else is on a strict innings limit.
NYCFC kicks off second season at the Stadium by announcing they have signed Pele and the two Italian kids from that Will Ferrell soccer movie.
Monmouth qualifies and wins a game in the NCAA Tournament. Their entire bench wins Dancing with the Stars.
Mike and the Mad Dog reunite. Twitter finally breaks. True story?
APRIL
The Yankees raise a World Series banner at Opening Day. Their desire to imitate the Royals knows no bounds.
The Mets start the season 0-5. Twitter wants Harvey traded and Terry Collins fired immediately.
All three local hockey teams make the playoffs. The Devils, who knew?
The Islanders (kiss of death alert, Isles fans!) defeat the Rangers in the first round for their first series win since the other Clinton’s first term (1993).
Fans are still complaining about Barclays Center.
After firing Lionel Hollins, Prokhorov finally makes good on his failed championship wager, marries a Kardashian.
The Knicks go from 17 wins to the No. 8 seed and a date with LeBron, J.R., Shump and the Cavs.
Carmelo plays more unselfishly than ever, but he — not Porzingis or Phil Jackson — predictably gets blamed when they are swept.
Steph Curry and the Warriors, fresh off a record 75-7 season, lose in the first round to Kobe Bryant and the red-hot No. 8 Lakers.
MAY
The Islanders are eliminated by Washington for the second straight year. What do you think, every day is Christmas?
The Yanks’ ratings-magnet DH is doubling as a YES TV announcer when they are in the field. Everybody loves A-Rod.
The Giants spend every draft pick on defensive players. Finally.
The Jets trade all of their draft picks to the two new L.A. teams for the rights to Hollywood quarterbacks Paul Crewe, Willie Beamen, Shane Falco, Cush, Matt Saracen, Sunshine, Johnny Moxon, Stan Gable, Joe Kane and Johnny Utah.
The Celtics win the draft lottery with the Nets’ ticket. That’s what they call a little bit o’ luck.
JUNE
A new Triple Crown drought begins. But American Pharoah sure is enjoying retirement.
It’s an even year, so Jonathan Quick and the Kings win their third Stanley Cup in five years (over Washington).
Blackhawks and Kings fans concurrently claim to be a dynasty. By definition, neither team is one. Sorry.
With Golden State out of the way, LeBron delivers Cleveland’s first pro title since 1964.
The Instagram pics of J.R. Smith’s after-party — dancing with Betty White — finally force Trump’s shutdown of the Internet.
JULY
Phil and the Knicks have cap space to land a point guard. But Dolan wants it to be Teen Wolf.
Noah Syndergaard starts the All-Star Game against Luis Severino!
OK, probably not, but just checking to see who’s still reading halfway through.
A-Rod has 14 homers at the break, joining the 700-club and putting him 13 behind Babe Ruth. Everybody loves A-Rod.
NFL writers are still tweeting every meaningless play from 7-on-7 drills at training camp. Hey, I tried.
Serena and Novak Djokovic repeat at Wimbledon. Filip would want us to say at least one thing about tennis.
The Mets once again need a bat. They acquire Josh Norman.
AUGUST
Whatever happened to Tiger Woods?
The Olympics, like the last World Cup, are in Rio. The News always sends whoever writes the predictions column!
The USWNT — sans Abby Wambach — take Gold again.
The U-23 men’s team at least will qualify this time. Some day, kids. Some day.
Michael Phelps adds to his record 18 gold medals. The greatest Olympic athlete ever, bar none.
SEPTEMBER
The Jets traded for all of those fictional quarterbacks, but then reclaim Geno Smith off waivers just before the opener.
Tom Coughlin is still the coach of the Giants. The clock again is ticking, but still being mismanaged.
Matt Harvey’s arm still hasn’t fallen off; he reaches 225 innings and wins his 20th game in final start.
Scott Boras predicts Harvey will be baseball’s first $ 1 billion player.
A-Rod ties The Babe with a grand slam off Boston’s David Price to surprisingly clinch the AL East for the Yankees.
Daily News back page: Curse of the Slam-bino!
OCTOBER
The Mets, with their insane pitching, are back in the World Series. But so are the Royals, who sweep the Yankees in the ALCS.
The Mets fall short again, but the Wilpons still don’t plan to even pretend to be a big-market team in the offseason.
Odell Beckham Jr. makes a catch with his feet while doing a handstand. Mike Carey is flabbergasted trying to explain the ruling on TV.
The Islanders, under new ownership, are back for another season at Barclays Center. The fans still hate it.
Henrik Lundqvist is still handsome, and still ring-less.
NOVEMBER
Brian Cashman realizes he runs the Yankees, not the Royals. Hal realizes his last name is Steinbrenner. The checkbook reopens.
President-elect Donald Trump asks A-Rod to be vice president after Dr. Carson decides to become a barista at Starbucks.
Everybody loves A-Rod.
DECEMBER
For the 10th straight year, less than 1% of the American public can name the heavyweight boxing champion of the world.
Jeter marries the girl with the talking horse. Rodriguez is not invited to the Christmas nuptials.
OK, so maybe not everybody loves A-Rod.
The Daily News sports editors pick someone else to write these predictions one year from now. Hope I did you proud, Filip.
(Note: These predictions no longer are brought to you by DraftKings and FanDuel).
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Daily News – Sports