It’s a valid point except nowadays digital is quickly becoming our preferred method of communication. We’re social media fanatics: on email at work, smartphones when we’re socialising and computers at home. We fill hours with Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Skype and online newspapers and books.
So what does that mean for dating? There are pros and cons to finding love in the digital age compared to dating 60 years ago, when blind dates and courtship were the cultural norm and men always took the lead.
We caught up with “The Dating Guru,” James Preece, who helps thousands of people get lucky in love. We asked him how he thought dating had changed over time and weighed up the positive and negative aspects of “love 2013″ compared to “love 1953.”
James Preece on dating through the decades
“Online dating has completely revolutionised things.”
James Preece says: “In our grandparents day a couple met through work or via their local community. Nowadays, we all work longer hours and have less time and money for socialising. This can make finding a partner difficult. However, online dating has completely revolutionised things. Singles can now search online and browse thousands of potential matches in a very short space of time. They can then connect, chat and arrange a date without even needing to leave the house.”
He suggests that social media sites like Facebook have also taken over the traditional matchmaking agencies. “Now it’s really easy to get friends to introduce you to their own single friends in your own area — without paying anything.”
Though Preece proposes that the downside of making dating so easy is that it can sometimes make people a little fussy. “If they know how easy it is to get a date, they don’t always put enough effort into making things work.”
Benefits of the internet age (love 2013)
Women take the lead — internet dating has a level of equality to it. It’s just as acceptable for a female to contact a male rather than as in decades past when women were supposed to sit back and wait for a man to call.
“We want the same thing” — dating can be a minefield when we meet naturally because how do we know the other is looking for a relationship? On dating sites at least singles can lay their cards on the table and be clear what they’re looking for from the start.
Finding a perfect match — internet dating enables us to provide real detail about ourselves in order to find a good match. This means we’re more likely to find someone who wants the same things, rather than basing potential relationships on purely physical attraction. Because when that dies what’s left?
Plenty of choice — we were once limited to meeting a mate at work, in our community or through friends; now they could be in a different city or even country — someone who we may never have met through our everyday life but who could be a perfect match.
The power of words — the basis of any internet relationship is email and that means we must use the power of words to woo the other. Being attracted to someone before you’ve even met them is surely a sign that you’ve found a beautiful thing.
Benefits of the pre-digital age (love 1953)
“Is this a real date or a mate date?” — 60 years ago a man and woman wouldn’t be seen out in public together unless they were related, married or courting. Now it’s not uncommon for friends of the opposite sex to socialise together, which is a fantastic thing. But this can also blur the boundaries, leaving you questioning the other’s intentions.
It’s so scientific — the online dating method is really a science; it’s a database of contact details, leaving little space for “chemistry” that you can only feel when you meet someone in the flesh.
Now that a woman can take the lead the lines are blurred — do we arrive at each other’s door with half a bunch of flowers each?
False advertising — “Hold on: this is not the person I agreed to meet.” The internet allows for fabrication of the truth — your tall, dark handsome banker, 32, could turn out to be 5 foot 7, balding and unemployed.
Good old fashioned romance — come on. We still want to dream that we’ll meet and fall in love when we look into each other’s eyes. This just can’t happen via a keyboard. Can it?
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