Mary Christine Jolly Ramsay
Through a close media friend, I was able to interview Mary Christine Jolly Ramsay--the estranged wife of actor Derek Ramsay. Before I publish her email detailing the story about her and Derek's relationship, let me just say that I found her story highly credible. To sum, Mary Christine Jolly's story is about a fairy tale romance gone sour. She was just a twenty something student who came here, only to find her man and fell madly in love with him. But, like all other romances, hers became a nightmare.
Mary Christine Jolly Ramsay filed a case of abuse against Derek, her husband for violating Republic Act 9262--or an act punishing violent acts against women and children.
I am publishing here, true and the newest photos of her not ever published online. I am likewise, publishing her story based on what she gave me thru email. I did not edit it. Read it entirely unedited. And judge.
When I met Derek in 2001, he was still in a relationship with a woman named Collette, who was at that time, residing with him in his apartment in Makati Executive Suites. Given his womanizing nature, he decided to start dating me. He never informed me about his relationship until I found out through common friends. When I confronted him about it, he subsequently denied it and tried to cover up his tracks by kicking out his girlfriend from his apartment. During this period, I was told by several people that Derek is a womanizer. That his ultimate goal is to use and abuse. Amidst the rumors, I got into a relationship with Derek. When the relationship with the other woman ended and he had thrown her out high and dry, he tried to make it sound like the girl was crazy and possessive and obsessed with him, and that led to the breakup. However, I didn't quite understand why he was dating around when he was still with her. It took Derek some time to convince me that his intentions were sincere, I gave in and believed in him.
I was spending a lot of my time with him as his apartment, he then thought it would be a good idea for me to move in. When I moved in with him in 2001, he was living in an apartment in Makati, which was next to the school I was studying at. I was hesitant at first because we had only started dating and I didn’t want to rush into things, however, he insisted that he would be a loving boyfriend and it would be a great experience to share a place together. Therefore I agreed. The relationship was going smoothly in the beginning until things started to change.
Derek loved to party. He was always out with his friends partying almost every night. During the instances that I would accompany him, he was overly aggressive. He couldn't control his jealousy. I wasn't allowed to talk to guys, or be approached by any, neither was I allowed to leave his side. Initially I thought it was just him being protective of me but when most of our nights would end up in violent outbursts by him, I was left confused.
Due to this, I decided I would spend most of my time engrossed in my studies and really focus on maintaining a healthy relationship with Derek. After all by this point, I was completely infatuated by him. My family have always been supportive in all my endeavors and I would visit them in between school breaks and over the holidays. I told them all about Derek. Derek refused to make any effort to meet my family which in my opinion I found quite strange. I could already sense he was a control freak as he always demanded me to do things his way. He never allowed me to go out without him and if I did, he would call me incessantly wondering what I was up to and who I was with.
He claims that I threw fits for no apparent reason, however, no one behaves in such a manner without being provoked. It resulted in arguments because of his jealousy and possessiveness. He was extremely domineering.
During the early stages of our relationship I could already foresee the outcome. Being denied of some freedom would only cause anger and bitterness and I didn't want to be in a relationship like that. I would try and have discussions with him about this so we could iron out our differences and really work on a loving relationship.
I'm a bit puzzled as to how highly he speaks about respect and stands firm at questioning my integrity when he did nothing but disrespect me during the entire duration of our relationship and thereafter. He disrespects everyone around him once he has used them and no longer sees any personal gain. I found this as such a selfish trait. As most people in love, we always try to help mold someone to become a better person. I looked at Derek as a project to work on. He clearly grew up as a very spoiled brat who thinks that everything comes in a silver platter. And that people, can be treated however way he pleased.
I would ask advice from my friends to help me understand why he was that way and to figure out a way to help him change. When I would meet up withfriends and wouldn't answer his calls in a timely fashion, he would get extremely aggressive. He would scream at me on the phone, hang up or use verbally abusive language. I would find my clothes thrown out of the balcony and scattered all over the streets. He was extremely immature and hard headed and deemed impossible to reason out with him. He would constantly slam the doors in the apartment, create a ruckus and storm out of the apartment leaving me wretched and hurt. It made me feel like he had bi-polar tendencies. He would come back pretending as if nothing happened.
I really wanted to "fix" Derek because I have such strong feelings for him. I loved him. And i'm a strong believer in second chances. However, due to the amount of violent outbursts and his obsession to control, we had arguments all the time. When I met him I was a cheerful, loving and confident woman, but I became more insecure and repressed and always wondered what it was that I was doing wrong. It felt like I had to tip toe around him all the time, what to say, what to do, and that left me emotionally drained.
I would attend family gatherings and out with friends withdrawn and introverted.
Everyone wondered why. I tried to contain my feelings of pain in hopes that I could somehow help fix him. I felt even more compelled to try and help him because of my strong feelings towards him. I really wanted to make him see his wrong doings and to change for the better.
I was generous with my love and affection and supported all his dreams. He was just a model when I met him and we were both at a stage where we were finding our place in this world. I would go with him to all his castings, his shoots, his Vj gigs to show my support and I steered clear from conflicts and fights by following all of his demands. It worked, but only for a short period. I felt that his need for control would eventually fizzle out but it never did. We always had long discussions about our future, kids and a family life, but I was always a bit worried because he was too controlling and I feared what kind of life I would have with him.
The relationship progressed fairly quickly as he was always talking about marriage and how he loved me so much he couldnt see his life with anyone else.
In March of 2002, I was awoken by a sudden surprise by Derek who held a bouquet of flowers and a diamond ring, went on his knees and proposed. I have to say I was startled as I never expected such a gesture so soon in the relationship and it took me a few days to give him my answer. He said he wanted to marry because he was madly in love. I knew we still needed a lot of time to fix the current issues at hand and time to grow in our partnership, but blinded in my love for him, I agreed to marry him. I thought this might be the perfect opportunity to mend him. When I asked him if his parents would be a witness to the marriage, He declined saying that his parents would only go against him as they weren’t especially fond of me. As madly in love as we were with each other, we went ahead and consummated our love.
It was a nice private ceremony that took place in Balagtas, Bulacan, at the Mayor Castro's office. We left the office filled with love and vowed to protect and take care of one another thru thick and thin.
As husband and wife, I tried to live in a harmonious relationship. I tried my level best to take care of him and provide him with the emotional support of a wife. However, that toook a turn for the worse when my husband went abroad and cheated on me with his ex-gf. The reason I knew was because I received text messages from the ex gf saying they had a one night stand, and I saw an exchange of messages on his phone with his ex saying "Thank you for the wonderful night we spent together. I missed holding you" I was shocked and heartbroken and cried for days. He was obviously denying everything but he couldn’t explain the messages. He begged me for forgiveness and promised to never hurt me like that again. I didn’t know how to react, as I was torn between my love for him and his infidelity. My self-worth continued to plummet. I was so blinded by my love for him that I gave him another chance. It took me a long time to trust him again. I never understood for the life of me why he would cheat on his loyal and loving wife.
Another promise broken, he continued to pick fights, became increasingly unappreciative of everything I would do for him, became overly critical and non communicative. He showed no remorse. I would catch him lying about other women thru explicit text messages, and friends seeing him out. He spent more time partying and less time with me, he became less affectionate towards me and unnecessarily defensive when communicating with me. He would receive random phone calls in the wee hours of the morning and when I would ask him who it was, he would get defensive and call me paranoid. He was always so cold and distant.
I was such a naive woman at the time to not see that what may have been a temporary error in judgement on his part, could very well develop into a way of life that I wanted no part of. I had a philandering husband.
Even after all the pain and psychological abuse he put me through, I continued to devote myself to him as his loyal wife. Hoping that things would change.. I allowed him to disrespect me continuously, betray me, and I kept silent.
The sexually transmitted disease was just one of the many agonizing ordeals I had to deal with during my marriage to Derek. I was terrified and received no emotional support from him during that period. He even went out partying almost every night while I was in bed tending my sickness.
There was an instance during the sickness when he forced me into having sexual intercourse when he came home drunk. I felt helpless. I cried for days.
If he claims that I was cutting myself with the words "I hate derek" then were are those marks on my arms? If a knife was used to cut myself then permanent scars should be visible.
My marriage was deteriorating in front of my eyes and I felt so helpless. I never felt good enough for him. He always bullied me and made me feel like I was worth nothing. I felt like a caged dog with an abusive master. He was so self-absorbed that he never felt my pain. At one point, when I could no longer take the abuse, I packed my things and was ready to leave him. He came home and begged me to stay. He wept and held my arms and begged for forgiveness. I forgave him yet again. Though the day after that happened, he never came home. He didnt come home for a week. And when he finally did, he was intoxicated, started accusing me of betraying him, hiding things from him, and then he hit me, over and over again, until my nose started to bleed. I screamed and yelled "Why are you hitting me?" He just chuckled and walked out of the house. That night, I packed up my belongings and moved out.
No one should ever be subjected to domestic abuse. And I never wanted to ever get hit again.I knew it was much harder to see the issue from the person's perspective who has the issue. Derek obviously couldn’t control himself and when he would drink, he would get aggressive. I wanted a way out. I loved him. But I couldn’t take it anymore. I moved in with one of my closest friends for a few weeks until I confessed what happened to my family and all the mistakes I had made to stay with such a destructive man. My family advised me to get away from Derek for a while and spend some time in Dubai with them.I just wanted to be loved. To be respected. To be appreciated. Derek couldn’t provide me with any of those. I left Manila without speaking to Derek to get some love and care from my family in Dubai.
In September 2002, after a couple of weeks in Dubai, I received a phone call from a friend saying she saw Derek out in a club kissing another woman (who at that time, was a minor. She was only 16). I didn’t want to believe the news so I called him immediately to find out if it was true but he blatantly denied it. It was during that very week that I found out I was carrying his child. Derek and I were married, I loved him, even after all the hurt and pain, I loved him. I wanted to make the relationship work and I took the pregnancy as a sign not to give up on the relationship. I wanted to do whatever it took to fix the marriage. But to no avail. He called me crazy, delusional and naive. He didn’t want anything to do with me and his baby and then admitted that he had fallen in love with someone else. How could he do that to me, I thought. I am his wife. I don’t deserve this. I tried to reason with him again and again but he kept ignoring my pleas and instead went about parading his new girlfriend around Manila, showing how happy he was to cheat on his wife, while I was suffering emotionally in Dubai trying to deal with the reality of my situation.
He threatened me that if I kept the baby he would just continue womanizing and will never grant me an annulment. That he will do nothing but continue to hurt me. I was in a very vulnerable and fragile state and I wanted to do the right thing. Even my family tried to reach out to him, but he was so consumed in his own life that he rejected every request my family had. He ignored us. He threatened us. And he spread false accusations about me so he could flee from his responsibility. I even informed his whole family about it. His sisters, his parents, but he made them all believe that the baby was not his.
For the duration of my pregnancy, I had initiated contact with him almost 4 or 5 times every month. He would change number pretend he never received my calls, and live a life like I no longer existed.
He just kept denying to see me and I would hear all kinds of things from my friends that instead of caring for my emotional needs, he would be out partying with his mistress in clubs, bars and even take her to his work functions deceiving everyone that he was single. I no longer had any self-worth. He took it all away from me.
I spent 9 months on my own with no emotional or financial support from my husband. I was so hurt by his extra martial affairs and I was worried it would affect the disposition of our baby. I was an emotional wreck. He denied my pregnancy to his all his friends and mistress so she would stay with him and so he could use her as he saw fit, just as he used me. I pleaded with him that instead of denying the hard truth, to just be man enough to face his responsibility and be there when the baby was born, so we can once and fall prove to everyone we both knew that his accusations towards me were nothing but a mere excuse to face responsibility.
Not surprised, on the day our son was born, he never showed up. We even called him to let him know that I had delivered and that the doctors were ready to take a paternity test. He once again ignored our calls and not even a text message was sent to wish me well in my recovery. I was devastated. I grew weary and tired of all the lies and all of the abuse. There is a saying "When a man lies, he speaks out of his own character". My life with my son was left uncertain, as I was now married to a man who wants nothing to do with his child, and a man who entered into an extra martial affair with a minor. I decided that I was exhausted with the amount of humiliation he kept putting me through, and now with a new born, I had to focus on his needs above my own. After that I never heard a word from Derek.
When our son was 3 months old, I packed my life up from Manila and moved back to Dubai to take care of my little boy. I filed for an abandonment and neglect (attached herewith are the documents stating abandonment). I filed abandonment because Derek never wanted to have anything to do with his son. I left Manila losing all hope to ever rekindle a relationship with my husband.
It was extremely hard initially to be a working single mom. Dubai is a very expensive city to live in. It was indeed a struggle for many years as I wanted to devote my time to our son. I would spend sleepless nights caring for him while working during the day. And I worked really hard at giving our son the best life he could possibly have. I love him so very much. I have never neglected my duties as a parent to our son. I put him through school for 6 years, I gave him shelter, I protected him. I did what any loving mother would do and that is to protect the best interests of my child.
While Derek was living lavishly with his mistresses, going on trips, spending on “them”, I would continuously (even from Dubai) inform him of our sons well-being and send him letters and pictures through my close friend Robin De Rosa so he could pass these on to Derek. He confirmed that Derek received them but wanted nothing to do with his child. How is a mother suppose to react? All I've done was do my duty as a parent and it resulted in failed attempts over and over again.
He never once in a span of 8 years of his sons existence ever reach out to me, my family, not even my friends (he would even try to turn my own friends against me claiming that I was unfaithful and the kid was not his). He just had no proof to validate his claims. How could I have cheated when I had no history of infidelity during the time we were together. Rather, it was me who caught him on numerous occasions. What is a wife suppose to feel or do at this point. Every single failed attempt lead to more emotional and psychological distress. I found it amazing how some people can change and treat you differently. One day you mean the world to them, the next its as if you dont exist. We were married and vowed to share our lives together. How could he be so cold and distant.
During the first year that Derek entered showbiz a close friend of ours called me to tell me that he was living his life extravagantly, spending all his money on new flashy cars, trips and women, to the point that he was always broke and had to loan some money from his parents. That was the period when his parents had to take control of his finances. I was disturbed by the news and thought to myself how he could be spending so much on material things and women, when he wouldn’t spend a single dime on his son.
He hid his real life from everyone. Including those who looked up to him. He denied being married and claimed I was a fraud. These preposterous allegations have no merit whatsoever. His words and actions over the years have hurt me beyond belief and I never understood how he could live with himself knowing that he deserted his only son and explicitly continued his affairs.
After many years of struggling as a single mother I had established myself well in Dubai. I worked for a well-known International law firm and provided a well-rounded life for our son. It was in September of 2010 when my American boss convinced me to go back to Manila and fight for my rights as well as the rights of our child. He said to me "Think about your son’s future. You shouldnt allow a man like that to deliberately get away with his mistakes. You deserve so much better".
It took me some time from Dubai to do some research but I eventually managed to acquire the help of a lawyer. During the period that Atty. Sonia Castillo was representing me. It led no-where. I had heard from a few sources that Derek managed to manipulate her into dissolving the case, and since I was residing in Dubai, it proved challenging to keep on top of the matter. Atty. Castillo conduced the DNA testing with Derek, and the results came out positive. Indeed Derek is the father. (attached document from the laboratory). Below also is an email exchange between me and my attorney dated 6 December 2010 confirming that Derek received the results. Derek again chose to flee from his responsibility and ignore those results. Derek stated that he asked the specifics of the amount demanded and claimed that I had never responded to the inquiry however please see an email exchange between me and my attorney regarding the said query. I no longer felt comfortable seeking the advice of Atty. Castillo as she was the wife of Derek's good friend Martin Castro and felt her opinions were biased.
I decided to look for another counsel who would help me with my case. I reached out to a few friends in Manila who might be able to help me. My aunt Nani Sehwani suggested I contact Atty. Rodolfo T. Tuazon. Sometime in 2011, news broke out on TV network with a copy of our marriage license as well as details pertaining to our marriage. This was when I decided to head back to Manila to talk to Derek. I initially reached out to him through sms asking him if we could meet up and talk. He responded saying he was busy and that he would find a time to see me when he was free. Weeks passed and he never got back to me. I was running out of patience and I once again reached out to him to ask for a meeting. No response until I informed him that abs-cbn wanted me to do a short interview regarding the said marriage contract that came out weeks ago and whether it was indeed true that we were married. That was when Derek called me to set up a meeting.
When we met, I was accompanied by my lawyer Atty. Tuazon, my aunt Nani Sehwani and our son. I was a little bit startled to see Derek accompanied by an entire entourage of people I had never met before to attend a meeting wherein none of those strangers had any part of. I was further shocked to see that he had brought his parents to sit at the said meetings. Our son left the room while the meeting was conducted. The initial reaction of Derek was to cry. I thought to myself “what a great actor he’s become”, Me and my aunt and my lawyer were surprised. He pretended like he never knew about our son and threw false accusations at me trying to defend the reasons why he never thought our son was his. I brought up the issue of the paternity test which was done in 2010 with Atty. Castillo and he blatantly denied it. He pleaded and begged me not to go public and would do what it takes to keep the case private. I adhered to his request.
After a very long discussion as to how we were to proceed, we were ready to file a legal action against them, and this forced Derek to agreed to a paternity test, which was conducted in a university in Manila. The test had to be solely handled by Derek's dad and sent to a laboratory in HK as they were concerned that I would tamper with the results. This alone left me humiliated and hurt. After a month of no word from Derek. We finally received news that the paternity results came out positive and Derek was indeed the father.
Sometime after, I received another call from my atty. saying that Derek wanted to pay a sum of 3 millions towards support for the child and for my silence. I was appalled by this and was a little upset as to how he could possibly think his son was only worth 3M pesos. I messaged Derek to tell him how irresponsible he was and immature and that he wouldn’t get away with this anymore. That I would be filing a legal action in court to protect my rights.
I was then informed by Atty Tuazon that he was due for retirement and that it would be best if I seeked the assistance of another counsel. I heard about Atty. Suarez through another common friend who told me that she was a womens rights lawyer and would help me seek justice. Derek kept stalling to give in to our demands on support and we no longer wanted to sit around and wait for when he felt like agreeing to the terms so we told them yet again that we would just go to court to settle the said claims once and for all.. The pressure was then put on Derek to come to an agreement as he was afraid of going to court to expose his marital status.
It took four months for the agreement to be finalized.
When the rent expenses where deposited in my account, I questioned as to why the deposit was merely 1000 dollars when the agreement stated that it was 1000 dollars per month which was equivalent to 12000 dollars for a year, and which we specified that in Dubai the rents are paid a year upfront and that was what the agreement between us stated. He made a huge fuss about the amounts paid and refused to give the yearly payments, forcing to agree to only 6 months advance payments. This was the first instance when Derek violated the agreement and caused me great stress instead.
As a mother my sole responsibility is to protect the welfare of my son. I wanted to ease him into a relationship with his father and start slow. As our son was still so young, it would be difficult for him to comprehend as to why this was all happening and why his father showed up in his life only at that time. The visits were chaperoned to make sure that our son wasn’t put in an awkward situation and he was free to leave whenever he didn’t feel comfortable. The first meeting with Derek he came home a little sad. He wondered why Derek kept asking him all sorts of questions about me and he would talk about his cars and material things and then he showed our son his abs and asked him to touch them. He wasn’t comfortable during that first meeting at all and said to me "Mom, why did he show me his abs and asked me to touch them, isn’t that a little strange? Furthermore he told our son that he owned flashy cars like the Audi R8 and a Ferrari and would like to show them off to our son sometime. Made me wonder how he could spend on such luxuries when he could only afford to get our son a used laptop of his mistress.
The times that Derek would see our son he would be surrounded by either his nieces/nephews and sometimes even strangers who were women. He would take our son out to public places to play with other kids and the rest at empty restaurants where he wouldn’t be noticed by people. Yes the places he would take our son were public however always accompanied by his entourage of strangers as to not arise to any suspicions. This made me feel he was far from proud of his son.
Derek would buy our son gifts with the desire to buy his affection. Our son would ask me why his father would never want to spend time with him alone. He was always left confused. After a few meetings and our son coming home in a unhappy disposition I thought it would be best to minimize the exposure of our son as it was interfering with his well- being. Again, I am after the welfare of my son. I have protected him from the day he was born and I wasn’t about to let Derek destroy that. I informed my lawyer that our son wasnt happy after those meetings and didnt want to spend time with his dad. Derek thought the only way to buy our sons love was through material things and not what our son really needed. Another display of irresponsibility and immaturity.
When our son was about to enroll in a school in Manila, Derek made it extremely difficult to get the funds for his education. The agreement in place stated that the payments for education etc. was to be deposited into my bank account, however, he refused to transfer the money and instead give me grief as to how the payments should be made. He wanted to deal directly with the school and pay the fees there. This is now the second instance where Derek violated the agreement causing me so much stress in arranging everything. I always felt Derek gave me a hard time with the support so he could take control of me and our son.
Our son was advised by the school to get a tutor. When this topic was raised with Derek, he refused to make such payments, giving both me and my atty a number of excuses. Instead I had to shoulder the expenses myself. Another violation of the agreement.
Not once in two years of our sons education in Manila, did Derek attend any school events, activities, Father's day or even his graduation. He would talk to our son on the phone and would opt not to attend any of the school functions afraid that people would see him with our son. He even told my lawyer that it would be better if our son would not disclose who his father is to any of his classmates, teachers as it might raise suspicion and ruin his image in show biz. How can he expect our son to do such a thing. To deny him of those rights as a son. I refused such demands and I said I would never allow my son to lie for him. This displayed irresponsibility and lack of respect towards our son. I could no longer tolerate such disrespect and humiliation he kept putting us through and therefore I would minimize the calls between them.
We had informed Derek that due to the number of hardships he would put us through during the time we have been residing in Manila, that we would prefer that a lumpsum of our sons education be agreed upon as our plans was to relocate abroad. The details of the relocation expenses were sent to him via email (attached emails) but again nothing transpired from that as he continued to stall and stall, and give further excuses as to why he didn't want to pay. This caused me unbelievable strain for many months.
The disputes went on for a while until our son was compelled to be enrolled into another year of schooling in Manila. Derek made it impossible to come to a resolution (which I presumed would now only be even harder to attain once abroad).
During the second year of our sons schooling, our son required tutoring yet again. I was no longer surprised when Derek made it extremely difficult to claim such expenses. The claim for the expenses were followed by a series of questions pertaining to my competence as a parent at choosing a tutor, and after much deliberation he finally agreed to pay the amount. This obviously took over 3 weeks to get wherein I had already enrolled our son for the sessions.
Claiming for education, tutor, rent and so forth as part of the agreement has been not only tedious but emotionally draining. There was always an excuse for why he wouldnt make the payments on time or questioning my competence as a parent.All of which have been a violation of the agreement. If payments weren’t being made on time while I was still residing in Manila, how much harder would they be when we are already residing abroad.
I discussed with my lawyer that if a resolution doesn’t take place soon that I will be given no choice but to file the VAWC case against him to exercise my legal rights. My intention is to move abroad for work and to continue our sons education. That our sole purpose for coming to Manila was to resolve the issue at hand. This was when we finally decided to set up a meeting to discuss the lumpsum for support and alleviate the psychological and emotional stress it has caused me for so many years. I was borderline just sick and tired of this treatment. I no longer wanted to put up with it. As a mother, there is nothing I wouldnt do for my child.
We were ignored for 6 months and then further humiliated at the meeting that finally took place. Take note that in all the meetings that transpired between my husband and I, he would attend meetings with his entourage, and a few times, he didnt attend at all. This raises questions of his lack of concern.
It was his lawyer or his dad who took his place making me feel his lack of concern for the matter. He displayed various signs of incompetency as he barely spoke in the meetings and instead his dad, or his lawyer would speak in his behalf. I questioned his maturity as an adult, whether he seemed fit to be around my son, or make critical conscious decisions. I wondered how could a grown 37 year old man not be able to sit and defend himself at our meetings and have his dad defend him instead. Derek has a dependent personality disorder with avoidance of adult responsibilities. He also has tendencies of being a pathological liar as he has hid his marital status for a span of 12 years and having a son for a span of 11 years. Which leads me to question his capabilities as a role model and father to our son.
This meeting ended up in loud outbursts by Dereks dad, and further hurtful accusations towards my lawyer and I, like "we already paid her off", "what kind of person are you Mary, look how your parents raised you", "Do you think this is fun and games" "Do you think this is a joke" ... The only person who should be in question here as to whether this case has been a joke, is Derek. Is it a joke to be abandoned by your father, or to deny him his right of support? Derek even lied to us in front of his dad stating he had already informed his father months prior about our sons British citizenship when his dad said “What are you talking about son, this is the first time you have mentioned this to me”. He was obviously telling us one thing which were facts far from the truth. The meeting ended up unresolved after such humiliation towards me and my lawyer leaving me no choice but to exercise my legal rights and file the VAWC case against him. At the end of the meeting I told Derek "Let's see if your father can save you in court". A mother and a wife should also have some self respect. The only way justice will really be served was to exercised my legal rights to protect my family. Enough is enough. I have given him many chances all of which he took carelessly.
Regarding my travels outside the country. Those were made for work. I don't see the connection of my travels abroad with the support for my son. In fact I traveled for work to support my son financially.
How does Derek have the intrepidity to question my morals and principles, let alone dispute my credibility as a parent when he has abandoned and denied his son for 12 years and engaged in a multitude of extra marital affairs with any financial support. Are those traits of a moral man or one who is reckless and incompetent. My competence is not at question here, it is his. How can I have his presence around our son when his character is but of a deceitful man. It is when a person has no choice, do you see their true character and finally after 12 years, he admitted to the truth.
Further to this and most importantly, Derek, my husband and father of our child, had been cohabitating in a public adulterous relationship with a one Angelica Panginibang for over 5 years. An article dated March 27 quoted the woman saying:
MOVING OUT. Pag-alala pa ni Angelica, kinabukasan daw, pagkatapos ng kanilang hiwalayan, hinakot na niya ang kanyang mga gamit sa bahay na pinagsamahan nila ni Derek sa loob ng limang taon. Noong nalaman daw ni Derek na umalis na siya sa bahay na kanilang tinitirhan, nagpadala raw ng mensahe ang dating nobyo na ang nakasaad ay “Let's fix this.”
http://www.pep.ph/news/38058/angelica-panganiban-finally-reveals-reasons-for-breakup-with-derek-ramsay/1/2#focus
Please also note during that period he had lavishly spent on his mistress gifts such as a Charriol ring, Mini Cooper car, a Hermes handbag, and even 2 carat diamond earrings and trips around the world. These were all shamelessly flaunted in public. His family condoning such impetuous behavior. While I remained mum about his extra marital affairs, I was anticipating that he would somehow grow a conscience and finally seek to know and support his son. To my dismay, that never occurred. I should have known better than to place any expectations on such an unreliable man. Public articles and interviews have been seen expressing plans to get married to his mistress. Further evidence of his deceitful nature.
Quoted by Derek: I’ve learned a lot in the process of buying this gift, yung [kailangan may] GIA certificate, yung mga ganon ganon. My mom and my dad drove all the way down from Tagaytay to Manila just to help me choose a set of earrings for Angel,” he said in an interview with Push.com.ph last September 22.
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/entertainment/07/17/09/derek-gives-angelica-mini
https://www.facebook.com/notes/magkaribal/derek-ramsay-says-angelica-panganibans-new-set-of-diamond-earrings-are-real/149203298450566
http://www.pep.ph/news/23937/angelica-panganiban-receives-hermes-bag-from-boyfriend-derek-ramsay-on-her-birthday
http://entervrexworld.wordpress.com/2012/11/13/angelica-panganiban-reveals-why-she-broke-up-with-derek-ramsay/
http://rp4.abs-cbnnews.com/video/entertainment/07/08/10/did-derek-propose-angelica-during-south-africa-trip
http://www.pep.ph/photos.v6.php?id=2794&page=109/109//called-out
And then another relationship with a one Cristine Reyes, photo taken from instagram with a caption by Derek "This is forever"
And another relationship with a one Alexa Ramos,
http://www.adobotalkph.com/2013/07/derek-ramsay-girlfriend-alexa-amos-photo.html
On Solenn:
People have a boyfriend at kahit na seven years sila together then when they get married and first time na magsasama sa isang bahay ay break sila kasi hindi nila gusto ang ugali, like may mistress ‘yung guy.
“You can not really know a person until you live with that person, so for me, kailangan talagang mag-live in at least, two to three years bago ikasal,” katwiran ni Solenn.
Inamin din ni Solenn na nagkaroon siya ng boyfriend na hindi showbiz, pero ngayon ay nasa industriya na, bagamat hindi niya binanggit ang name ang duda namin ay si Derek Ramsay iyon.
Hindi lang namin alam kung siya ‘yung unang naka-live in ng dalaga.
http://banderablogs.wordpress.com/2013/01/27/solenn-heussaff-umamin-may-asawa-na/
This establishes adultery, concubinage, marital infidelity and psychological violence.
As per my understanding, Concubinage is committed by a husband in several ways:
by keeping a mistress in the conjugal dwelling; or by having sexual intercourse under scandalous circumstances with a woman who is not his wife; or
by cohabiting with his mistress in any other place.
http://famli.blogspot.com/2006/01/adultery-concubinage-and-psychological.html
RA 9262 defines psychological violence as:
“acts or omissions causing or likely to cause mental or emotional suffering of the victim such as but not limited to intimidation, harassment, stalking, damage to property, public ridicule or humiliation, repeated verbal abuse and marital infidelity. It includes causing or allowing the victim to witness the physical, sexual or psychological abuse of a member of the family to which the victim belongs, or to witness pornography in any form or to witness abusive injury to pets or to unlawful or unwanted deprivation of the right to custody and/or visitation of common children.”
During a meeting with my lawyer, I said to him "When Derek appears in court to submit his counter affidavit, I can guarantee you that he will shed a few tears to gain some sympathy as he has done in a few of our previous meetings." I was indeed precise with my prediction.
"Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you"
In the early part of this year, I was informed that Derek had no intentions of dissolving our marriage as it gave him an excuse or was convenient rather, to have affairs without ever having to tie the knot again.