A reader plays through all six home console Burnouts and gives his verdict not just on the games themselves but the consoles that run them.
Burnout moves fast, it’s the whole point. With this fact in mind and because I couldn’t decide which game to celebrate I thought I’d play through the entire franchise, in 60 minutes.
In preparation I remove all six game discs from their boxes and lay them down in sequence. I’ve downloaded a countdown app for my iPad which is propped up below the TV. I admit I’ve hardly played the first two games in the series. It’ll be interesting to see if Burnout’s older bangers are worth ten minutes in favour of today’s photorealistic dream machines.
60:00 – Burnout, 2001 (Xbox)
Doing my best to hurry through the credits and loading screens I choose a single race, a red sports coupe and ‘AT’ transmission, the track is River City.
Burnout 1’s simplistic cars look right out of Trumpton but they handle fine. The crashes are tame though and after each limp mishap my vehicle shows no accumulative damage. The red coupé should look like a squashed drinks can as I’m crashing a lot. This game is hard. I deliberately drive recklessly but it’s impossible to fill my boost bar. Flirting with lorries grows the bar slightly but there’s no time to waste as my competitors vanish into the distance.
Frustrated I swerve left and brave oncoming traffic. Still no boost. I stay in harm’s way for a while, finally my kamikaze tactics are rewarded. A quickening heartbeat tells me boosting, otherwise I hardly know I’m using the feature which defined a whole franchise.
Overall the audio is underwhelming. The tune I’m racing to sounds like the theme from Casualty but with less implied drama. Also an excitable American keeps shouting ‘Checkpoint’ every other minute.
I’m so hopeless I don’t even finish the first race. The game asks me to enter my name and puts me at the top of a leaderboard for worst drivers. Slightly insulted I start a Journeyman Grand Prix. According to the iPad my first 10 minutes are nearly up so I abandon the event and eject the disc.
It may sound like a hate the first game, I don’t, it’s still a tidy racer with good drifting. There’s just scant evidence of the unique driving action that was to come.
49:46 – Burnout 2: Point Of Impact, 2002 (Xbox)
Straight away it’s apparent Point Of Impact is 200% better than the original game. I choose a single race in Sunrise Valley. The track reminds me of zipping around L.A. in Midnight Club, but there’s stretches of rocky desert here too. The scenery drips in golden light, best of all is the soundtrack. I race against a mean guitar underscored by a pounding beat.
The cars have reflective surfaces and are a joy to handle. It’s a lot easier to fill up my boost, and when I do and hit overdrive the music reacts by becoming louder. I love that. It’s hard to comprehend how Criterion improved their fledgling series so much in a year. 10 minutes behind the wheel of Burnout 2 is not enough.
39:51 – Burnout 3: Takedown, 2004 (Xbox)
Lazy Generation kicks in, a tune I’ve heard countless times. I have to admit the third game has always been my favourite and the title wastes no time in demonstrating why. I choose a single event, a race on Mountain Parkway Eastbound, in a red compact type 1.
The drifting here is sublime, boost is easily obtained but best of all I can smash my competitors off the road. Promptly I get a Bus Takedown and a surge of aggressive satisfaction. Despite my hours of experience with this game I finish sixth and barely have time to start another event. But I do because Takedown brings joy to my soul despite the vocal torture of DJ Atomika.
In the same red compact I enjoy a random region Road Rage. Impact time is the best feature in racing games ever. Drag your wreckage into the path of oncoming opponents, as the game emits a sinister chorus of screams.
30:12 – Burnout Revenge, 2005 (Xbox)
I change the discs in the Xbox, my iPad bleeps to tell me I’m half way through the racing retrospective. I played Revenge a lot when it first came out, the game got me into the series. Choosing a race reverse at Sunshine Keys I shoot off in a yellow sports car. And swiftly come to the conclusion the game is far too easy.
It seems I can bump into just about anything and Revenge tells me I’m ‘GREAT’ or ‘AWESOME’. I come first in my race and I’m awarded a gold medal. I feel no real sense of achievement. Burnout 3 had a real mean streak and would punish any lapses of attention. It’s follow-up feels like a ride on the bumper cars. This is Burnout with L plates slapped on it. The graphics are pretty though.
20:35 – Burnout Dominator, 2007 (PlayStation 2 but played on a PlayStation 3)
A console change is necessary and it throws me. I didn’t even have the PlayStation 3 on. This foolish oversight highlights the ponderous nature of modern consoles. As the numbers tick down on the iPad screen the PlayStation 3’s boot-up takes forever. I pick up and synch the controller. On the original Xbox I’d be racing by now.
Dominator is, I’ve always thought, the Austin Allegro of the Burnout franchise. To be fair, along with the first game I’ve played the fifth title the least amount of times. I choose a World Tour Classic Series and race along the Black Gold Highway. I drive a big muscle car, which keeps slowing down. I realise it’s ‘X’ to accelerate not the trigger.
Unlike Revenge I can’t check traffic in this game. I hate my car, which looks like a purple shoebox. Somehow I finish third in my race and Dominator gives me 370 Domination points. Thanks for the bribe Dominator, you’re still an Allegro.
Next I try a Road Rage at Bushido Peak. I get two takedowns before it’s time to move on. Ejecting the game disc I’m not sorry at all.
09:06 – Burnout Paradise, 2008 (PlayStation 3)
I have to synch the controller again after playing Dominator, a very familiar Guns ‘n’ Roses song begins. Hello old friend. Paradise is the Burnout game I’ve played the most after number 3.
With time running out Paradise seems to take ages to load, then when it does load it wants to take me online.
My session on the original Xbox a short while ago highlights the question and answer routine that is contemporary gaming. Eventually I’m allowed into Paradise City and set off in a R turbo Roadster. I can’t race until I’ve found an event, after I do race I finish a disappointing fifth.
It’s odd, normally I love Paradise but playing this game straight after its forebears everything feels loose and I miss the immediacy of the earlier titles. The game’s graphics are in an entirely different league though. The explosive disintegration during the crashes is amazing.
00:00
It’s all over. Laying down the Dualshock 3 and abandoning my R turbo Roadster on a high mountain road I take stock. Like any gaming franchise Burnout’s quality has both risen and dipped, and those peaks and troughs are very noticeable when the games are played in quick succession. The quality of Burnout 2 has been the biggest surprise, and I vow to give it more time.
To be honest the past hour felt like it zipped by in ten minutes. But if the whole world isn’t an urgent blur when you’re playing a Burnout game, you’re probably not playing it properly.
A link to the brilliant Sunrise Valley music.
By reader msv858 (Twitter)
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