Many women ask themselves how they can feel sexy again after having a baby. You are probably exhausted and overwhelmed by the demands of being a new mother. Add concerns about your post baby body and changes in hormones and it can seem a bit daunting. These tips helped me boost my self-confidence and ignite my inner spark after having a new baby and I believe they can help you too!
Start the day off right
Take a little time for a morning routine. Even if it means putting baby in a bouncy seat in the bathroom, start off the day with a hot shower and then massage some of your favorite essential oils or lotion into your skin. Marvel at your postpartum body and what it has been through and created. Any evidence of pregnancy and childbirth, such as stretch marks, are proof of your strength and resilience and of what the female body is capable of achieving. Embrace what they signify. Put on a little makeup, brush your hair and look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am beautiful.”
Take time for yourself
Being a mother is a full-time job and it can be really hard to carve out some “me” time. Hire or accept help and learn to overlook the laundry that needs to be folded. When your baby naps, use that time to take a nap yourself, read a book or pursue your favorite hobby. At least once a week get out by yourself and get a manicure, have your hair done or enjoy coffee with a friend. Don’t forget date night or time with your partner, either. Leaving baby with a trusted caregiver for an hour or two is important for nurturing your relationship.
Get moving
Exercise offers many benefits including reduction of stress, anxiety and the chances of postpartum depression. Plus, those feel-good endorphins brings on a surge of sexiness. Taking baby for a walk, even if it’s just around the block, can really improve your mood. You will both benefit from some fresh air and sunshine which can also be a sanity saver when feeling cooped up inside. Taking a yoga, dance or another movement class can also help encourage your “sexy vibe.” In terms of your body image, be patient and kind to yourself. It takes time for your body to return to its pre-pregnancy form. I personally gained 62 lbs with my first pregnancy and 75 lbs with my last pregnancy. I lost all of the weight (and then some) in a healthy and sustainable way. Read about my 10 Tips for Healthy and Lasting Postpartum Weight Loss.
New underpinnings
This is key. Go get your ladies measured and then buy yourself a nice bra or nursing bra if you are breastfeeding. Not only will this help you feel better about yourself, but it will help reduce back pain from the extra weight you are carrying in your breasts. You also want to get yourself some good shapewear such as Yummie by Heather Thompson. I am all about embracing my post baby curves but smoothing out the bulgy bits ups my confidence and makes me feel sexy. Lastly, get a few luxurious pieces that make you feel sexy. Dita von Teese teamed up with Destination Maternity to create a new collection that “captures the spirit of retro glamour, while inspiring confidence and meeting the practical requirements and everyday needs of a new mother.” All of the bras open at the front and have clasps for easy nursing while the matching underwear have a postpartum shaper.
Wear clothes that fit you
Now that you have proper undergarments, buy or borrow some clothes that fit. You may be tempted to wear sweatpants or stay in your maternity clothes but that is not the best way to help you feel sexy again. Investing in some new pieces will help you feel sexy, confident and remind you that you don’t always have to be in frumpy mommy mode. Even if you are transitioning between sizes, buy a couple of interchangeable outfits that look good and make you feel good. Take a good friend along who will be encouraging and honest.
Head to the beauty salon
Styling your hair in something other than a mommy ponytail will make you feel a million times better after giving birth. There are plenty of mom-friendly hairstyles that are practical and chic. Head to the salon for a fresh cut, highlights or a blow dry which can all work wonders for your confidence. While you’re there, treat yourself to a mani-pedi, too!
Photoshoot
I recently did a boudoir photoshoot (yes, that’s me pictured above). Although it was a gift to my husband, it was also an incredible experience for me. It boosted my confidence, helped me embrace my curves after having two children, and made me feel sexy and beautiful! At first I was self-conscious about the notion. I pushed those thoughts aside and decided to jump in and have fun with it! A good photographer will make you feel at ease and guide you for the most flattering poses and angles, capturing you in your best light. Boudoir photographer Rhiannon Panopoulos of Alloria Winter Photography says, “There are countless reasons to celebrate yourself and sometimes we need a visual reminder of why we should LOVE ourselves. It’s my purpose in life to help bring confidence and sexy self expression to women.” If you’re simply not comfortable doing a boudoir shoot or don’t have the funds at the moment, a good friend can take some fun and sexy snapshots.
Think sexy thoughts
Tap into some suggestive thinking and you may find yourself feeling like the hot mama you really are. If you need a little inspiration, light some candles and sink into a hot bubble bath, turn on some sensual music or watch a romantic or sexy movie.
No pressure!
Don’t pressure yourself into feeling sexy or engaging in sexual activity before you’re physically or mentally ready. Although many care providers give the green light after six weeks postpartum before having sex, lack of sleep, postpartum blues and changes in the way you view your body after pregnancy can affect your sex drive. If you’re feeling pressured by your partner or the outside world, give yourself the space and time you need without any of the pressure or guilt.
Image credit: Alloria Winter Photography