Good evening, this is Channel Four News,
with me, Jon Sox
and me, Cathy Shout,
I'm a feminist, me.
and me, Harry Krishna Murthy,
Krishnan, with his fellow thinkers on the 8 Out Of 10 Cats show.
Yeah, it's me, Krish, off those kiddy panel shows; 'spart of my religion, making a cunt of myself for a few quid, going on those dreadful, sneering, lad shows which piss on everything, ever, especially the women guests, for a cheap laugh and pretending to be cool and post-ironic about it, even though it's shit. And everybody on it is a cunt. Especially that Sarah Millican. I'm very devout about practising my ancient faith. But contemporary with it. And I think it demonstrates the breadth of my journalistic wotsaname, going on a Cruelty TeeVee cunt show.
But mainly it's with me, Soxy, the Sir Keef Richard of broadcast noos, been here forever, one foot in the grave but never gonna stop noos-boogyin'.
Y'know, viewers, how Sir Keef's a Blues man, the blues is his gig, well, I'm a Noos man, the noos is my gig, dude. I don't just read the noos, I inhabit them;
shit, man, in a very real sense,
I own the noos gig;
I am the fucking Noos.
Me, with the sacred noos herb.
I don't like it. But I smoked it for you.
Because that's my gig
And not just the Noos,
I'm a winner, I'm a trustee, a patron, a governor of so many things, all of them immensely, worthily right-on that I couldn't even list them, never mind do anything for them.
"Scoop" Sox's List Of Worthy Stuff.
Trustee of the National Gallery and Tate Gallery from 1999 to 2008.[36][37]
Patron of Prisoners Abroad, a charity that supports the welfare of Britons imprisoned overseas and their families.
Patron of Pan Intercultural Arts, a UK charity that uses the Arts to empower young people and unlock their potential: www.pan-arts.net
Chancellor of Oxford Brookes University from 2001 to 2008, regularly attending university ceremonial events: in 2009 Oxford Brookes conferred upon him the honorary degree of Doctor of the University.[38]
Honorary Professor of Stirling University and guest lecturer on its Film & Media Studies course.[39]
Honorary Fellow (since 15 February 2006) of the Royal Institute of British Architects, an annually-conferred lifetime honour which allows the recipient to use the initials Hon FRIBA after his or her surname.[40] Snow has an honorary degree from the University of Aberdeen, in recognition of his services to broadcasting.
Chairman of the Prison Reform Trust from 1992 to 1997.[5]
President of the Cyclists' Touring Club in January 2007, succeeding Phil Liggett.[41]
Patron of Reprieve, a legal action charity which uses the law to enforce the human rights of prisoners, from death row to Guantánamo Bay.[42]
Patron of the African Prisons Project, an international non-governmental organisation with a mission to bring dignity and hope to men women and children in African prisons through health, education, justice and reintegration.[43]
Patron of Media Legal Defence Initiative, a UK-based charity that provides legal support to journalists and media outlets.[44]
Patron of the tree planting charity Trees for Cities.[45]
Chair of New Horizon Youth Centre, the charity of which he was Director during the 1970s.[46]
Ambassador of Ambitious about Autism, the UK charity supporting children and young people with autism.[47]
Patron of the DIPEx Charity, a UK-based charity that produces two health websites, Healthtalkonline[48] and Youthhealthtalk,[49] featuring people's real life experiences of health and illness.[50]
Patron of SafeHands for Mothers, a UK-based charity whose mission is to improve maternal and newborn health by harnessing the power of the visual, through the production of films.[51]
Chair of the Heart of England Forest, [52]the charity working to create a 30,000 acre connected woodland of native broadleaf trees. Currently 12% towards their final goal they are already Englands largest new native forest.
But Hey, that's how it is when you're famous,
people just want you to be associated with them.
And let's face it, who doesn't want their name on as many letterheads as possible.
But my main thing, man, my specialist subject,
is Washington,
I just love those Presidential cats, and their bitches, Michelle Obama, she's one foxy ho'. Is it ho'? 'Who? No matter, she can really boot that shakey.
And she's a person of non-white-European epidermal pigmentation. And I dig that, in a broad.
I just love the power thing, too, with the presidents, and their hair, and teeth. And those big fuck-off armoured limos. And all the Secret Service guys, not thatnthey're up to much
I've been the same since I fell in love with President Kennedy. And I especially love President Obama, I mean, a black man, in the White House, how so cool is that?
Whaddayanean, that's racist?
I don't have a racist sock or necktie in my whole dressing room. And I, myself, the greatest living Noos-Dude, I live with a person of non-Romano-British indigenous epidermal pigmentation domestic life partner.
That's how so not racist I am.
And Channel 4 News always has a token women and a token person of wotsaname, that pigment thing, the mission statement. A token transgender? In twin-suit and high-heels and Adam's Apple and five o'clock stubble? Over my fucking dead body.
Yeah, and mine, over my dead body, too.
I mean, I might be a feminist but there's only room for one pussy on this show. A proper one, not an inside-out scrotum. Fuck all that diversity shit. A pussy's a pussy, right?
You hear what I'm sayin'?
Thanks, Cathy.
And here's some cool American shit I'm gonna lay on you, tonight. Speaking exclusively to me, Jon Sox, aka Channel Four News, American presidential hopeful, Donald Trump, has asked me to state that It wasn't the Donald,
had Marilyn Monroe killed,
it wasn't the Donald,
made deals with the Mob,
through Frank Sinatra,
to get the unions' votes;
Tina Sinatra: Mob Ties Aided JFK
Daughter Says Joe Kennedy Asked Singer To Enlist Sam Giancana
2000 Oct 05
Correspondent CBSNews.com staff CBSNews.com staff
Legendary crooner Frank Sinatra served as a liaison between John F. Kennedy's 1960 campaign for president and mobster Sam Giancana in a scheme to use Mafia muscle to deliver union votes, Sinatra's daughter tells 60 Minutes.
The late singer's youngest daughter, Tina, also describes her father's final years and his work for the Central Intelligence Agency. The interview will be rebroadcast on Dec. 31.
Tina Sinatra, 52, says her father told her that Kennedy patriarch Joseph P. Kennedy wanted the Mafia's help in delivering the union vote in the 1960 West Virginia primary, in which John Kennedy, then a U.S. senator, faced Sen. Hubert Humphrey of Minnesota. The elder Kennedy asked Frank Sinatra to make a request to then-Chicago crime boss Sam Giancana.
Sinatra was approached "because (Kennedy) knew dad had access to Sam Giancana," Tina said.
wasn't the Donald who habitually humiliated his wife, from Day One,
Hell hath no fury like a First Lady scorned.
If someone told me that Jackie Kennedy had the cock-waving sonofafuckingbitch killed, I'd have to give it some thought.
and the Donald's father, Donald senior, never urged America to abandon you Limeys and join-in with Hitler.
Joseph Kennedy also argued strongly against giving military and economic aid to the United Kingdom. "Democracy is finished in England. It may be here," he stated in the Boston Sunday Globe of November 10, 1940. With Nazi German troops having overrun Poland, Denmark, Norway, Belgium, the Netherlands, Luxembourg, and France, and with bombs falling daily on Great Britain, Kennedy unambiguously and repeatedly stated his belief that this war was not about saving democracy from National Socialism (Nazism) or from Fascism. In an interview with two newspaper journalists, Louis M. Lyons, of The Boston Globe, and Ralph Coghlan, of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Kennedy said:
It's all a question of what we do with the next six months. The whole reason for aiding England is to give us time ... As long as she is in there, we have time to prepare. It isn't that [Britain is] fighting for democracy. That's the bunk. She's fighting for self-preservation, just as we will if it comes to us..... I know more about the European situation than anybody else, and it's up to me to see that the country gets it.[6]
The Dead Kennedys
No, sir, none a that shit was down to the Donald. And it wasn't the Donald, who, after bangin' the ass off her,
drunk-drove poor Mary-Jo Kopechny offa Chappaquidick Bridge, leaving her to drown,
while he fled the scene,
to save his fat, cowardly, pseudo-patrician arse and to escape the cops.
It's a Democrat thing, that, old men fucking youngsters,and then shittin' on them, or in Ted's case, killing them.
Wasn't the Donald gave ole Teddy a Limey knighthood
Sir Teddy, I set my moral compass by your shining star.
It is the right sol-you-shun for the country
Thank you kindly, Snotty; say, do you have any nieces, about eighteen, or a bit younger?
Oh, Sir Teddy, it is a tragedy for humanity that you were never president, that the world never knew your va-a-a-ahlewes.
But I did, and so, together, we can claim to have saved the world.
Snotty idolised Ted Kennedy, says all that needs saying about his skewed morality.
Nor was it the Donald killed three million slopes in Indo-China
dropping more HE, napalm and chemical poison shit on Vietnam and Cambodia than were ever dropped on Hitler and the Hermanns.
No, Sir, The Donald didn't do
any of that conventional politician stuff.
Lissen, if you vant to vin ze Nobel Peace Prize
you haff to kill anything zat moves.
Kill anything zat moves.
Zat's ze German-American way.
Quite the White House Nazi, Kissinger; one of them.
Testifying before the Senate in 1971 John NewFace discussed the atrocities unearthed in the Winter Soldier investigation, where over 150 veterans testified to war crimes committed in Southeast Asia.
JOHN KERRY: They told the stories of times that they had personally raped, cut off the ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in a fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
And the Donald never abused a young volunteer, young enough to be his daughter, lie to the world about it, and set the govament on her ass.
like the rotten, cowardly, kiddy-fucking, drug addict, international gangster that he is.
Wasn't the Donald presided over that bizarre 9/11 shit.
All them Enron papers going down in impossible free-fall after a fire in a wastepaper basket. How'd that shit happen again?
The Donald woodena dared show his face in Manhattan after that carry-on,
You got any coke, son, for the president?
never mind start a fucking war on the wrong people
cos he was owned body and soul by the right people,
the ones he shoulda gone to war on.
Wasn't the Donald left all them poor black folks to drown their fat asses,
way down yonder in New Orleans.
Dubya's Homeland Legacy
only showin' up when it's too late
I mean, Mr Sox - mind if I call you Soxy? You can call me Mr President - I mean, here's a fucking half-wit, alcoholic, wife-beating coke-fiend, who gets confused looking at his watch,
And the long finger, that's those minute things we was talkin' about?
Yessir, Mr President.
he's stupid, he's unbelieveably incompetent, he's a coward,
he's violent, corrupt, he killed millions
of people, kidnapped and torured more, he kicked off World War Three, gave all the nation's money to his handlers
and ran the US economy not just into the fucking ground but buried it miles down, where the Sun's never gonna shine.
And he was elected at least once.
And now you news folks is telling the Donald that he ain't fit to be president?
And how's abouit them other sonsafuckinbitches? Fuckin' dumbass salutin' all over the place, even though they shouldn't and as commanders in chief they should fuckin' well know that they shouldn't, that it debases the customs and honours of the armed forces, what about them, worthless cocksuckers?
Before President CustardBrain took office, the national debt was just under $1 trillion, he tripled it. He oversaw the Iran-Contra scandal, launched the dumbass War on Drugs, fucked all over Latin America and put his wife's astrologists in charge of foreign policy.
By the time President Spunky Bill
left the White House, the debt reached $5.6 trillion.
Mind you, him and his bitch, tripling the prison population, that didn't help.
Eight years later, post-Dubya,
My dog'd salute you, too, soldier, only he's from Texas.
the debt had almost doubled.
And today, under President Yes,WeCan't,
it stands at nearly $20 trillion.
Gotta be a bit smart about this, Soxy, as to whether you look at the actual increase in dollar terms, or at the precentage increase, where Dopey Ron is way out in front, But any way you look at it, you lose, as a taxpayer.
This, here, Soxy, visually represents twenty trillion dollars,
in hundred dollar bills,
imagine the interest on that motherfucker.
But the headline figure of $20 trillion gleefully omits any future history,
where the actual fiscal gap figure is mind-boggling, incomprehensible, for the total future gap between tax income and projected spending, taken forward, in an ageing, demanding population, promised, set in stone, and including defence, is $211 trillion. It's all like your Limey Alice in Wonderland, Washington and Wall Street. They'll burn your ass for a hundred dollar payday loan but just borrow trillions into existence to pay themselves bonuses.
And that's why, after the Great Financial Readjustment, necessary because citizens took advantage of soft-hearted bankers, the White House had to fill itself up with senior employees of Goldman Sachs and JP fucking Morgan,
to make sure the place was run right.
This, above, though an incomplete portrayal, if you don't know about it, is worth enlarging. The perpetrators of the Crash unpunished and put in government.
Obama, yeah, like taking candy from a baby.
He can sing a bit, though,
and move,
great sensa rythmn, those folks
and he loves showbusiness
Maybe we'll give him his own show, when we're through with him. Only not on Fox
Other Noteworthy GS Global Appointees
as at 2006
Mark Carney: Current Title: Governor, Bank of Canada. Former Goldman Sachs Title: Managing Director Goldman Sachs Canada until 2003.
Mario Draghi: Current Title: Governor of the Bank of Italy (2006-). Former Goldman Sachs Title: European Deputy Chairman/Partner until 2006.
Edward Liddy: Current Title: AIG CEO. Former Goldman Sachs Title: Board Member (Chairman 1990-94; Director 2005- ).
Duncan Niederauer: Current Title: Chair/CEO NYSE. Former Goldman Sachs Title: Managing Director – 2007.
Romano Prodi: Current Title: Prime Minister of Italy (1996-1998 and 2006-2008) and President of the European Commission (1999-2004). Former Goldman Sachs Title: Paid adviser/consultant 1990 – 1993.
Massimo Tononi: Current Title: Italian Deputy Treasury Chief (2006-2008). Former Goldman Sachs Title: Partner 2004 – 2006.
Malcolm Turnbull: Current Title: Federal Leader, Liberal Party of Australia. Former Goldman Sachs Title: Partner (1998-2001).
David Watson: Current Title: Monetary Policy Committee, Bank of England. Former Goldman Sachs Title: Chief European economist.
But taking bribes from Goldman Sachs and JayPee Morgan, that's one thing, kind of all in the family. Taking ten million dollar bribes from foreign fucking despots and tyrants and crooks to fund an American Presidential campaign, well, Soxy, my man, if that ain't against the law it fucking well oughta be. You're a campaigning Noos-Dude, the Limey equivalent of Bernstein and Woodward, you tell me. Why isn't this shit all over your news show?
So, there you have it, Donald Trump, a billionaire megalomaniac on the one hand, and Hillary Trousers, another billionaire megalomaniac on the other.
The only difference being that whereas Mr Trump talks about temporarily excluding Muslims from the US, President Trousers actually kills them by the tens of thousands, ravages their countries, steals their resources and aligns herself with those despots and tyrants who tyrannise Muslims all over the fucking place. Mr Trump talks about cracking-down on what he sees as Muslim terrorism at home and abroad; checking their movements and documents. The Clinton-Obama administration tortures Muslims in Cuba, bleating that there is nothing they can do to stop it, it's the rednecks' fault; the Clinton-Obama cabal selects Americans and others abroad and murders them by drone, Mr Trump shakes his fist at them.
And that, I'm afraid, is the crucial thing, for a caring, compassionate liberal democrat like me. All the other great presidents which Mr Trump accuses, above, were proper politicians, and he is not. And at the end of the day, for me, that is what matters - the difference between the finest Washington traditions of proven, sustained criminality and treason in office, adhered to by all recent, preceding presidents and Mr Trump's rabble-rousing and tub-thumping; the difference between mass-murderers, extortionists, war criminals, drug-addicted philanderers and a man having a rant. It is, as we now say, a no-brainer. And the Channel Four News message, the MediaMinster message, impartial and objective as ever, is that you should vote for a proper rotten politician, vote for Spunky Bill's crazy, door-mat doxy and not for a man who does no more than ariticulate a nation's frustrations. Let's face it, what do ordinary citizen-suspects know about politics, that's why they need people like me.
Living in the best part of England I have no illusions about Trump, he's a pig and a bully and supported by political filth, like soulmate Alec Salmond, he has wrought havoc in Aberdeenshire, God only knows what damage he might do as Uncle Sam's president. Compared, however, with all of his predecessors and current challengers he is as pure as the driven snow. More importantly, many in the US electorate have warmed to him, enraging a complicit commentariat accustomed to telling voters the who and the how of parliamentray democracy. Trump - and Sanders, too - have climbed over the fence and retrieved the electoral ball from the grown-ups and if I was presumptious enough to lecture America then, in the absence of a renewed showing by Sanders, I would urge her, Clean-up politics, a bit, Vote Trump.
If he doesn't work out they can always kill him,
it's the American way.