born in portland Oregon on July 10Th 1986. in a small Clinic but after cutting the umbilical cord. He started to turn purple where he was rushed to Emanuel hospital & after five cardiology specialist looked over him for over four hours. he was only 8 day's from 4 month's old when the doctor at Oregon health science university performed open heart surgery & by past & connected the two main arteries to his heart saving his life. his mother called him a miracle from God. after she prayed for him through his surgery. growing up he was held back in the first grade because of a learning disability. he had attended special education classes throughout the remaining years of attending school. he kept to himself & was always the shy one in the class. he was taken away by cps & placed in a foster home at the age of 8 years old. he was moved around home to home. his mother & father had battled out the courts & had to win back the custody of him. every day he would set alone on the bench at recess staring at the ground. until one day he was introduced to the school janitor that would teach a after school class how to paint. three paintings he painted while knowing Greg & at the end of every year he would perform in the talent shows as a country singer. this is where Scott was first inspired by music & would always tell Greg he would become a music producer & would produce his music one day. after returning home from being taken away by foster care scott had moved across town & changed schools. being the new kid he was picked on & bullied by this kid that Wore spectacles with taped frames. until these two kids from his class had over heard him calling him names. they walked up to him & told him to pick on some one his own size. This is where scott came up with the name slim & his evil twin wasn't that bad but still was shady so meet slim shady My first day in junior high, this kid said, "It's you & I, three o'clock sharp this afternoon you die! I was always sick of brawny bullies picking on me & I might snap, I looked at my watch it was one twenty "I already gave you my lunch money what more do you want from me? He said, "Don't try to run from me, you'll just make it worse." My palms were sweaty, & I started to shake at first Something told me, "Try to fake a stomach ache it works" I screamed, My appendix feels like they could burst! Teacher, teacher, quick I need a nurse!" "What's the matter?" "I don't know, my leg, it hurts!" "Leg? I thought you said it was your tummy? I mean it is, but I also got no where I need to be "Mr. Mathers said the fun & games are over. & just for that stunt, you're going to get some extra homework." "But don't you wanna give me after school detention?" "Nah, that bully wants to beat you up & I'ma let him." I never finished school so what do you expect? for Me to be cool? Yes? No? I don't think sow Well back in school they tell me What if I start drowning would you still be there to bail me? I don't think sow. so please save the talk for someone else. I feel like I should have been someone else But I'm not, I'm stuck in this hell spot, I fail to prevail so let me rot. I wish I was you but I'm afraid not. a portion of my life is I'm happy I'm here the rest is a blank spot. I think everything is going to be okay but then again, I think not! I hate my life I bet you hate yours too But what's the reason for being this miserable? People tell you to be positive how do you take that When what's around you is negative & can't catch a break jack. that's when I told him while up in the gym if you wanna mess with me you gotta mess with him, from that day on Scott started to hang out with them & had became good friends with D angelo & blaze. Scott nick named D angelo as d angel that he had always looking out for him. Scott & D angel would always write & tell one another there ideas they had for new songs & unfortunately while scott started his first year in high school. Greg was diagnosed with cancer that ended up taken his life just a few months later. Scott remembers his promise he made to him & would use it to inspire him to keep the dream alive & keep working at it cause practice only makes perfect. his father & him would set in the room & he would always recoard him on his electric guitar he even made a CD & had signed it saying this one is for you & me living out our dreams. his father understood his dream of wanting to be in the music & given Scott's medical condition. his father wanted to see his dream come true. he supported & encouraged him in his music. but what they did not know is there lives were about to never be the same & forever change after Scott was called into go see the doctor in 1997. this was a normal day for Scott as just another yearly check up but the doctor. had to inform Scott that his heart was going to fail him within his teenage years & his only other way to pro long his life to the age of 30 he would need to go in for surgery to have a pace maker put in so Scott became a part of medical history. as being one of the youngest with a backwards heart to have a pace maker. it was only 3 years later where he found out his pace maker battery was dead. he had gone under another surgery. the doctors said that he had a near death experience. He saw things that he couldn't really explain. after he had a near death experience. he knew he wanted to be forever remembered. so he had prayed to god & wished to be so famous & asked the doctor how he could repay him with this second chance at life he was given. this is where his whole life takes a dramatic turn & starts to go down hill slow. as he keeps to himself locked away in his bedroom. he tells his parents he is trying to get the two sides of the story as 2 pawk is on one side & biggie is on the other. I don't speak, I float in the air wrapped in a sheet. I'm not a real person, I'm a ghost trapped in my room, yo then they asked me If I wanna go with them, I said no I got to go to school & he said that ain't no problem. My homie, come on, I said no, I don't really want to go & You can tell But He said that he was going to take me anyways, then grabbed me & pulled me into his ride as I yelled "what the hell" He said come on get on in the ride & let me take you to the other side. I see you don't really wanna go, I can tell But I'm going to take you any ways, what the hell. I said inhale exhale, I heard that you're clientele is doing real well. My homie you know you need to calm down before County run up in your house But you don't want to hear that though. Your good days have come & gone. I tried to tell you, Now what's your name? tell me what's your claim to fame, you really trying to be living large Like your last name was Kennedy? I tried to tell you Little man, now how old are you & what you doing skipping school? I see you running with your lil' crew Out here fighting over red & blue. now you want to claim gangs? Even heard that you bought a 9 Milly man & that ain't it. You started out with chronic on the brain, Now you're smoking amphetamines. I ain't trying to sell your dreams, I'm Just trying to show you that there is other ways to getting creamed. Take it from me, Just go to school. make some thing of your young life & watch it blow up. you ain't gotta stop being cool. you ain't even gotta stop flossing fancy jewels & fast cars Just keep it real with your game son. don't forget where you came from. Hanging out the sun roof saying forget going back to cali. To liv & die in LA when I'm hanging out the sunroof saying & god shall send his one begotten son to Leed the wild into the waves of a man. so back the car up & pop the trunk. you can't see me. I'm right here. Nelly is out on the front lawn asking why right here? my homie just hold on. we are all going home. Now give me fifty feet Defeat is not my destiny, release me to the streets & keep whatever's left of me Jealousy is misery, suffering is grief Better be prepared when you cowards fuck wit me & he can make me famous I have been dead for years, so how could they blame us now look I'm back & convinced this is my year I died and came back now I hustle these lyrics as if its a game of crack cuz I live in fear of a felony I never stop bailin these, motherfuckin G's It gets easier as each day passes after you here a kid make's a wish & says his final prayer they got us laced Two multi millionaires catching case's so check this, get ready for the throwdown, cause I came from L A. All the way to sack town, to go back to the city of the underground to say I put the smack down so oh no somebody tell dray that the shit's about to go down Picture perfect, I paint a perfect picture hey I told you to be careful when you mess with me If ya got it better flaunt it, another warrant 2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted I'm in this shit to win it Cause life's a Wheel of, Fortune here's my chance to spin it Got no time for cops, who trip and try to catch me Too trigger happy, to let them snatch me gettin jealous jealous trying to find my stash Whip out the rhyme, now I'm going to dip dive & jump your ass Peter picked a pepper, but I can pick a drunk Snatched him like a itch, & threw him in the trunk The drunk thought I was bluffin, but swear I'm nothin nice Before I take your life, first wrestle with these, mics I listen to him scream, they went insane I guess the little, one had finally found his brain New Rovers pull me over, I'm sentenced to the pen Remember that little, bird, he snitched & told a, friend It's trouble on my mind, I'm with the old timer's They made me an animal Can't sleep, instead of counting sheep, counting cannibals & that's how it is in the pen Turn old & cold, & your soul is your best friend My mama prayed for me Tell the Lord to make way for me, prepare any day for me why? Cause when they come for me they find a struggler To death I take the life your judging, The trick is to never lose hope tell them they can go back on my tracks or dr a new beat, to hang themselves by cause they just got taken to school by one of the most purest, more rawest form, flow almost flawless, most hardest, most honest known artist, when I found my buddy hangin dead from a rope, 16 on Death Row, I know it's hard to do these things alone. hit the pin & now no sinning is the game plan. that's right now you got it. cause It ain't over 'til I say it's over, enough when I say enough. I'm going to fight 'til I die or win & Biting the dust it'll just make me angrier, oh & i got easy to the E up in this mother fucker saying Peep the Iceberg jeans, the ice chain & like he said right out the Dumpsters he came calling himself the beast Since I hooked up with E, shit ain't ever been the same Opened up doors for that homie. & now he be thinking that your flows be on tight but what I write I'm not Joking. when I recite manuscripts to an M C. so if it ain't rough then they know it ain't me. cause I run a hundred miles just so I can make you chase me & want that bomb. so I get with the luna tic Ain't nothing changed. they couldn't find the Dream when they all ran fleeing the scene. cause all the fools got erased. when i Threw a mother fucking' monkey wrench up in the rap game ever Since I hooked up with the E. we found em fucked em, then fled the seen Why you hating at that bitch he wanted weed so Drey & Snoop turned em out. Now he is Cristal smoking & everyone be thinking that boy be tripping. Tics in fifty states, might as well blaze the cake I got moves to make, transactions to handshakes Drugs for pape's, now I'm selling CDs & tapes Funerals & wakes caused by greed & hate a snake is still a snake no matter the size or shape Those that hate, anchored with weights, found in the lake Come off the chain my main, you tied to the gate I said inhale exhale I heard your clientele is doing well I see you I sense someone's tapping into my phones, why do I got this feeling in my bones, I might die soon the F.B.I. might be trying to pull my file soon I might be walking, blindfold into a typhoon I might be seeing rockets light up the night sky right outside of the window, of my living room so my homie you know you need to calm down cause I'm sorry man but they can't out smart a mother fuckers intelligence level that's on top of nine other planets I can intercept missiles with my bare hands flip the world upside down & make it rain upward. press pause & re wined it just to live it twice so Here they come, here they come, blowing' up my spot My little brother & the big homie, all this shit is going to repeat When this shit drops, stop clowning' I liv in the streets cause I choose to The saga continues right before your eyes Who really gives a fuck? Cause this is ruthless for life now you get it or you don't cuz I got it & you thought you had it but you don't so when em in me got beef we let the whole world know it So if you got beef let the whole world know it & lets take it to the streets em let the whole world know it. It's the chance for your big career, don't blow it cause my homie's on this side now & know I ain't finished talking about it till ya know your finished when I just diminished your whole rap cuz hip hop belongs to me homie & I'm taking that shit back so Dissing my crew you catch hot ones I'm hot son, yo that's why I carry hot guns I'm on a beach in L.A. While you at the crib I'm going to make you wanna punch out some fucking' one What the fuck did you hit me for Scream life as I punch counter & bunches out of anger cause i thought i told you this shit ain't that hard to maintain it's like slap box but your chances are to slim when I'm shady so take a walk I once encountered a stranger In a dumb gown, black hood With a scythe Shit I laughed in his face & the Bitch gave me an extra life, like take this Now get your ass back in that game Bitch don't take shit for granted & don't take shit, give it! Only bull you should take is by the horns, with a pen is mightier than sword. Finish writing then re cord. Replenish keep writing more Nothings riding on it but your privates are you're fighting for. So you fight, scratch, you claw Backs to wall No one was there to catch you fall You pick yourself back up, you dust your jacket off You grab your balls, like they're gargantuan & Ask your self how fucking bad you want it Pull out your pants. whoop your ass & flash it on em' Nobodies gonna back you in the corner Throw a hornet No one's more ignorant then you fucking' four in the morning you're at the laboratory, storming Like there's nothing that's more important MC's you better consider this a formal warning, you're in for it Girl, what would you do if I said your body was off the chain I told you I smile every single time I saw your face I ain't finished bitch I meant in half, oil the blades Nobody wants to play They say I'm a spoiled little baby But Nobody puts baby in the corner I'm only trying to warn ya 'Cause that baby gets mad & gets to throwing a tantrum He'll fucking flip on ya so you can call me Santa. but i might be in disguise like freddy with claws & the Dr to the cause to all your riches & all you got put with the Dr ain't like my riches Rap don't gotta sing cause I'm Lunatic five strong, king Kong's are writing songs Cats be getting gone thinking they got it but friends The world is mine There's no need to say it you already know, The question is just how far will this go, How far will he take it? & when will he stop? Shady man I done told you once homie to ease up But you just won't listen will ya, nah I guess not. You just can't can ya, man I can't stand ya You're rotten, what you plotting' for us? Man when are you gonna let up I guess things are gonna get much worse before they get better I can see the comments. plus I run with the best so I pledge allegiance to the streets of the D, I can see the evolution as we creep up on it. I put that music in your veins like a needle junkie. Shit I just do this for the haters, I don't need the money Nobody really understands my language. I find it complicated just to hold a conversation. But still I got a whole lot of patience Sitting back watching Earth from my Space station. You look like you're in another world. but I can read your mind. how can you be so far away lying by my side. life keeps on complicating, an' I'm debating, On leaving this world, this evening in my a space bound rocket ship & your heart's the moon. & I'm aiming right at you. Two hundred fifty thousand miles on a clear night in June. & I'm aiming right at you it's been a ride. Nurse Oh my God now these are the results of a thousand electric volts. A neck with bolts, Nurse we're loosen him, check the pulse! A kid who refused to respect adults. cause my whole life I grew up made to be sick when I wasn't so some one ask the dr What kind of twisted experiment am I involved in Because I don't belong in this world. That's why I'm scoffing at authority, defying often Flying off at the handle with my mom, no dad So I'm non complying at home, at school I'm just shy & awkward & no I don't need no goddamn psychologist Trying diagnose why I have all these underlying problems Thinking he can try & solve them. I'm outside chalking up drawings on the sidewalk & in the front drive talking to myself Either that or inside hiding often to going somewhere quiet. Trying to not be noticed because I'm crying & sobbing. I had a bad day at school so I ain't talking. Why am I so differently wired in my noggin? Cause sporadic as my thoughts come, it's mind boggling Cause I obsess on everything & my mind is small shit Bothers me but now my father, he said sayonara & then split But no family to give a shit if I'm fine so as long as There's batteries in my Walkman nothing is the matter with me just look at the bright side. at least I ain't walking, I bike ride through the neighborhood of my apartment Complex on a ten speed, which I've acquired parts that I Found in the garbage, a frame & put tires on it Headphones on straight ahead & kids trying to start shit But if this is all there is for me. life offers Why bother even try & put up a fight, it's nonsense But I think a light bulb just lit up in my conscience What about those rhymes I've been jotting They are kind of giving me confidence Instead of trying to escape through my comics, Why don't I just blast a little something like Onyx. To put me in the mood to wanna fight & write songs that Say what I wanna say to the kid that said that I eyeballed him. Grab ahold of myself. like that's right fights on. So Keep on going, you just gotta fight it Keep on going cause it's not too late Shady stay creative homie hold your head up, don't you let up one bit on these mother fuckers you're a soldier get up, stand up, for what you believe in, as long as you are breathing, they jealous of you man that's the only reason we are beefin! Your ass forgot, so just in case you don't remember me. I'll run your brain around the block to jog your memory so now let's pretend marshall mathers never picked up a pen. lets pretend things would have been no different. pretend he procrastinated. had no motivation. pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin they could blow away with the wind. marshall you're never going to make it make's no sense to play the game there ain't no way that you'll win. pretend he just stayed outside all day & played with his friends. pretend he even had a friend to say was his friend. & it wasn't time to move & schools weren't changing again. he wasn't socially awkward & just strange as a kid. he had a father & his mother wasn't crazy as shit. he never dreamed he could rip stadiums & just lazy as shit. Forget a talent show in a gymnasium kid. you wont amount to it. quit day dreaming kid you need to get your cranium checked. you thinking like an alien. it just ain't realistic. now pretend they ain't just make you angry with this & there was no one you could even aim when you got pissed at. So now get your ideas, stack your ammo but don't come unless you come to battle, but you want that cause you already know the two of us in the same place at the same time you know were blowing up so this is it, it's what I eat, sleep, piss & shit Liv, breathe, my whole existence just consists of this I Refuse to quit, fuse is lit, can't de fuse the wick cuz if I don't do this music shit, then you lose your shit remember double or nothing well look at me I Ain't got shit to lose, it's the moment of truth. It's all I know how to do, as soon as I get thrown in the booth, i know it as well as you But my respect is overdue, I'm showing you all the flow that no one can do. Cause I don't own no diploma for school, I quit! So there's nothing for me to fall back on, I know other trades So I better trade my mics in for some tool boxes, you can never take my pride from me cuz he never risked shit he hopes & he wished it. but it didn't fall in his lap so he ain't even here he pretends that em is me so em Look. for you to be calling. my house Vietnam Desert Storm, both of us put together can form an atomic bomb equivalent to Chemical warfare, forever we can drag this on & on. agree to disagree. That gift from daddy up under the Christmas tree never was meant for me that Cole was from you too. check it out. it all started in my home just Check the background. St Louis clown from the Under ground Fourteen. pimp of the year Same crew now. it's too damn quiet but too loud. He be pretending always saying they too proud. If I ruled the world. I do now. when I got marshal free styling em in me to bring back to you Eminem so the tics about to rack em & move the crowd. so some one call the cops there is a robbery in progress. like I said a country boy came through & change the game. so if what you got ain't hot. then check your flame. now look up in the sky there's a sighting. oh he's about to break it down & I bet you're going to hate him now. but if there is some beef. then I'm pumping led on sight until de seas. i'll take your head off right. I live in the beast. where the feds play shyest. like what we used to do with the 5 coming out the C P T. so forget you. Times have changed for the good. In the hood I be coming' up. you feel it. can you set it off again. you know I should Yo but don't forget good things come to those who wait. So if you waiting on em he is going to be late. cuz now I'm a felon. just ask em. he is my evil twin that calls me a criminal. so the story goes. this is what happens when you get two of us In the same place. at the same time. so call it bad meets evil. I rob industries & ashtrays. wrap something & burn the place. ya heard me. so when it comes to be Christmas time. you should hang my album on top of your fireplace. Cause around that time. my stockings going up. Feels like a victory when I burn your house down circle around & hit the hydrant. so you can't put your burning furniture out. I used to be a loud mouth. remember me? I'm the one who burned your house down. Well I'm out now & this time I'm coming back to blow your house up & I ain't going to leave you a window to jump out of. so now Look how it began. nobody knows about me with this pistol in my hand. Cause I told you to fight to say what you want to say the dr told me I got heart failure my heart was failing me but he put the E in me so from E back to the T on 9 11 they called for me & I was on demand. when the president was on paper view. 9 11 its an emergency cowards tried to murder me. now i'm back & convinced this is my year. like I'm the chosen one so forgive & label me as a don. Shady lifted his wing. than I fell from under it. i'm dreaming of falling now I'm free falling my career's gone into recall & Regardless of who's fault it was I was speed balling. but god double wrapped me & dropped me on top of the earth then Marshall doubled back & got me from on top of a Hearse now I'm alive again & just in time to say don't try & make me some one i'm not & you ain't got nothing on me cause I didn't cry rivers. I made waves. then I realized that god's with us as soon as I decided to put that bottle down & red his message. The writings will prove it & history will show it. While I throw up this message. after Scott was kicked out of high school in his 9Th grade year after a roomer had gone around his school that he had brought a gun to school. the security had pulled him out of his class room & had searched him & his locker then told him they heard he had brought a gun to school. after searching him they were getting ready to release him back to class. when one of the security guards opened up one of his journals & started reading it & quickly said out loud. I think the principle needs to see this. you clearly can read his letter he had written to inter scope records as a fan of Eminem. stating that he just writes the stuff & puts it into a song. but not really meaning the stuff like he would do it in real life. at the top was the song he called it say what you say & as Eminem writes back to Scott through a song with the doctor Dre on the Eminem show album. Scott was still kicked out from high school for his writings & told by his principle he would never get anywhere in life if he continued to write garbage like that she told him not to come back until he seen a psychologist to diagnose if he was insane or a threat to others. Then in school, another voice is just telling you don't you listen to them They just pissed at you man they're just mad you're doing shit better than them I swear you dope, forget what they think They don't know you, haters lie, they don't know nothing, get mad, when they take it personal, this is the world we live in, tell em shit stays in urinals Complex self esteem issues, so they diss you to up themselves & make themselves feel special Understand you're up there up where? up here nobody can touch you. you are not a quitter you are sicker than most of these little kids so stop feeling bitter about yourself You know? you're much bigger You function on a different level, you're something like a ton bigger your skill is humongous You know it so don't listen to these other kids. The world is a cold ass place man you can't quit, If you quit, you might as well call yourself dead. You know what I'm saying? So keep moving don't take it personal. Don't let it get to you, Don't let them get the best of you, man I look toward my goal, so I move forward I know If I stop now I'm proven that I'm no good & these haters win I won't let that happen again, I'm a fighter a lighter I'm going to fight till I retire, I took a breath to rewired my wires I'm Robocop back from the dead The show don't stop till I roll over rot I know that I'm hot, I don't need people to tell me that. Not even school to hold me back & tell me that I'm a failure. I'll nail your coffin, soft in your hard image. I'm starving & it is kinda crazy how I keep eating Without taking a break & drinking a shake in between breaks that I barely take. I wonder if anyone out there can relate Man. I'm losing any grasp I have on my fate. Cause I'm so rough soon no record deal on my plate. Half of those kids can't even see me The other half want to be me. The one's that don't know me, don't know that I'm killing beats easy. Man I'm mad I can't understand it Tell the planet to kiss my ass & Grab a sweater & cram it, damn it. then after being kicked out of high school. Scott dedicated his love for writing even more than ever. as he would just use it for more fuel to keep him working at the dream. a short time after he was recognized as a writer, I'm only showing people When we all experience things in life. Trials & tribulations that we all must go through & I know sometimes Things may not always make sense to you right now but You know, technically I'm not even really supposed to be here right now, So forget it, might as well make the most of it cause Some of us don't get a second chance man I never knew I would effect this kid & get him to flip this back on me. How many kids will listen to me & run up in the school with a gun. when they're pissed at a Teacher. was it her. was it him. is it you. is it them. it Wasn't me. Slim Shady said to do it again. Damn How much damage can you do with a pen. Man I'm just as messed up as you would of been If you would of been in my shoes. who would of thought Slim Shady would be something that you would of bought. That would of made you get a gun & start shooting it off on his block. I just said it I didn't know if you'd do it or not. How was I supposed to know I was the one that they would say who's crazy for saying On the first page of our story the future seemed so bright. then the saint turned out so evil & I don't know why we are still surprised. cause even angels have there wicked schemes & you take that to new extremes. you will always be my hero. even though you have lost your mind so if he is the man he says he is then we're in trouble Big trouble. cause i've been praised & labeled as crazed, full of crazy rage. An angry teenager, nothin can change me back. Gangsta rap made me act like a maniac. I was boosting, so influenced by music I used it as an excuse to do shit, I was stupid. No one can tell me nothin. Hiphop overwhelmed me to the point where it had me in this whole other realm. It was like isolating myself was healthy. It felt like we was on welfare but wealthy. Compelled me to excel when school it failed me? Expelled me & when the principal would tell me. I was nothing, & I wouldn't amount to it. marshal made his first million & counted it? Now look at, a drop out that came back to just re liv it all over again Let me remind you of what took it this far. When I can here them saying If your going through hell. keep on going, Don't slow down, if you're scared, don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there. if you're going through hell keep on moving, Face that fire. walk right through it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there, I know it hurts, walking down the road that leads to who knows where. Don't you hang your head, don't you give up yet. when courage starts to disappear I will be right here. When your world breaks down & the voices tell you turn around. you’re getting closer, to pushing me off of life’s little edge. sooner or later You know I’m getting closer, I guess I’m taking the fall, I know you feel helpless now, I know you feel alone, When the stars go blind, the darkness starts to flood your eyes. When you're falling behind, I will carry you. Everybody cries, Everybody bleeds, No one ever said that life's an easy thing. the good news is for when you fall it's like you closed your eye's to go to sleep to wake up to another day & that's when you know for when your times you fall I will help you back up there is no telling how many miles I had to go while chasing a dream. but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a first step trust within god he will show you if you can imagine it you can achieve it, if you dream it you can become it I'm not afraid of tomorrow. cause I know I'm already there. God sometimes takes us into troubled waters. not to drown us but to teach us. the poorest man on earth who is friends with God is richer than the richest man who is not friends with God. god will never leave you empty he will take away everything you have just to give it right back. cause if he asks you to put something down. it's because he wants you to pick up something greater. God gives us what we need in time & the Best of it all. with god. when your in times of trouble. remember I am always there, by your side. cause have you ever loved someone so much, when you know that they are always in your heart, cause sometimes he works Secretly, behind the scenes. but he will reveal his work to you when the times are right. So this is it. This is what I wished for, Just isn't how I envisioned it. Famed to the point of improvement. I just thought that it would be different But something changed The minute that I got a letter from a fan, that said He's been praying for me Every day and for some reason It's been weighing on my mind heavy Cause I don't read every Letter I get, but something told me to go ahead & open it, but Why would someone pray for you when they don't know you? You didn't pray for me when I was local & as I lay these vocals I think of all the shit I had to go through Just to get to where I'm at I've already told you at least A thousand times in these rhymes I appreciate the prayer, but I've already got God on my side & it's been one hell of a ride, hasn't it? Just watching it from an opposite standpoint Man, boy's got to look Nuts & that's the only word I can think of right now On how To describe it. This is like a vibe you get cause God only puts us through as much as we can handle so the one's that struggle the most have been chosen by God to be the strongest believe you are never alone God is always with you god gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, You Can't Back Down when i'm gone, when They ask me am I ok. They ask me if I'm happy, Are they asking me that because of whats been thrown at me. or am I just a little snappy & they genuinely care daddy, most of my life it's just been me and you there & I continuously stare at pictures of the family. I never got to say I love you as much as I wanted to but I do. & I say it now & you can't hear me what good does that do me now but somehow I know you're near me in presence or I went and drop some present's off to ease it to them two little boys of yours to try to ease their minds a little & dawg you'll never believe this but Rhonda actually talks to me now Jesus & everyone else is just trying to pick up the pieces man how you touch so many lives and just leave us they say grievance has a way of affecting everyone different if this is true then this is to who in all times have sought the truth, have told it in their are or in their living, who died in honor, to those who have died in the high & humble knowledge of god, to those who died in sorrow, & in kindness, & bravery, to those who died violence suddenly, to those who have died in the time of the joy of their strength, we are all children of the same god. we know our parents & our brothers & sisters that have been lost in it may not seem like you understand why they have been taken out of your life but understand without god. how can we understand what eternal life is, as I stand before you to show you there is of such a life after death the people you all have lost are now gone to be with god. They say no one lives forever. but everybody should believe in the impossible just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I'm not there, & at time's you are in need of god just because he doesn't answer you when you expect him to doesn't mean he won't, he will always answer but only when the times are right. So now How can I not believe in something that I have already seen with my very own eyes. Believing in someone is like knowing in your heart that what people don't know is how I just defined time & what people say is the impossible. How could I be in a place in time from then to be standing here now? Cause I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror These walls must be talking, cause man I can hear you Daddy it's me, I get the point, fine, "It's too late dad, you made you'r choice. if that's what you want, I'm not afraid, To take a stand, it's been a ride, come on everybody I came from that time to be here for you all in this time so take my hand. lets walk this world together through the storm. Now you might still feel like you'r in that place, i'm letting you know that you're not alone & it's not you'r fault, so If you're trying to get out. Just follow me, I'll get you there. so watch me when I just stand up & shout it. From this day forward Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders I am never supposed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know "2 pawk" so you still wonder if the Lord still cares cuz life in the pin isn't for anyone, I'd rather die! So now this is why I ain't given up on the hood, its all good when I go back. and I swear, it's like a trap! every once in awhile I reminisce & wondering how it ever came to this" "em in em" I probably did it subliminally for you so I can come back a brand new me you helped to see me through and don't even realize what you did I keep having this dream that heavens for real yo, this is for real sow, this is for the dream. this one is our empire to Marshall's legacy. I'm not taking any chances. You were just what the doctor ordered. I know that it feels like this is all just a bad dream. But today the truth is you all are still there & i ain't. you know what man? you gotta move on, don't ever give up the dream dog. I got love for you all, it's true, we brought people together who never would of been in the same room. if it wasn't for working together as a team. that's why the Dr put the pace maker in me. hey like I said, "i'll be back" scarred up re energized & still going. you guys all called me the peacemaker. look i'm still flowing. I know When me & em got together to do this music, the more we became an artist we just developed a friendship through it. It's no pretending it's friendship, enemy's relax. smoke yourself some chronic & light it up, cause you know i'm about to blow up. you know the two of us in the same place at the same time. you know this is blowing up, but hey, you knowing what. I don't know if they know it or what who's holding me up slowing me down & I do this for what you acting it's not easy to Derick write to homie to homie, dog it's like n w a shit ain't changed, if it wasn't for this then who's playing the game. you know what they say, don't be the hater be a player to the game. it Ain't for him, it's just media, see to them it's just images, this is no gimmicks, this is blood in & blood out, When there's beef you just' gotta know when to jump in & jump out. If there's a problem we solve it, if we don't resolve it It usually just evolves into one big brawl & we all get involved in it We should all get a merit, this much beef we inherit & wear it like a badge of honor, pass it around & share it & let it go to whoever's holding' the most current people on their shoulders & their soldiers got their backs 'til it's over so it's like shady to slim to be back in that game, you know I hated confrontation. I truly hated the feuding but you were down for yours whenever it came to scrapping. if it had to happen, it had to happen. believe me, I know back from fixing cars to painting, when ever I stepped in the booth to getting arrested. sitting across from each other in cells laughing, is this my life. then i ask why am I so differently wired? Am I this martian? What kind of twisted experiment am I involved in? i'm hearing voices all around me, saying Welcome back to the land of the living my friend, You have slept for quite some time. I'm a space bound rocket ship & your heart's the moon. I look to the sky, & pray for a better day, some how, some way. maybe one day, I'll be heard & god will answer every word & let me fly, in the sky, as an angel, like a bird & set me free. releasing all this pain, that has ever came to me. don't get me wrong, there's no one else to blame but me. it's to plane to see, it's what I now realize & see. what's changed me, for me & let me be, this better me. for the better me to see myself, to see myself to be. this one & only lost & lonely, sole to be whole. never again will I fall in this hole & to think it will all change in just a blink of an eye cause man now just think, it could of happen to you or I. so who am I, so what if I. have told a lie, at least I. still stand here. stand here & try. try to ask for your forgiveness. cause your not the one that has to liv this life that I liv, let alone, is it any of your business. but your still here, ready to help us conquer our most biggest fears that we fear. like death & is it near. is there anything else for me to fear. just thinking about it, brings a tear from my eye, down my face, I'm ready to do whatever it takes. to believe that there's a better place than this, I can barely stand this, or put up with this life that I liv. so just try to forgive & look past all the bad that I did. in my past, I know what I did was wrong, so here I ask. for you to forgive me, I'm sorry, please forgive me, but this sole just can't shed another tear, or hide from another fear. Cause It knows the end is near & it's done all it could to try & make it but this sole just cant take it or put up with it for another minute to try and make it work. the pain, the hurt, the time, the work, the tears wiped from the shirt, from this broken heart stomped in the dirt, walked on, spit on, put down from all the doubt, alone lost & scared to shout. to let these true feelings come out, not knowing how, or where to begin to start. to express the feelings from this heart, that's slowly starting to fall apart. bit by bit, peace by peace. tear by tear, the end is near, but this sole has no fear of the end. it face's death & Hope's for the best. it realizes it's wrong's & has already confessed. Asked for forgiveness & to please just let this pain come to rest. cause Lord i know these times can be so slow, sometimes we need to just learn to let things go and let them roll on there own. so for you to be calling it 97 Bonnie & Clyde as 97 b.c. Before Christ Jesus had looked up to em as a roll model so em made a "Public Service Announcement & had told every one about em in me being his guilty conscience that had "Brain Damage" ever since the day I was born. Doctor Scalpel. Nurse. call for the Doctor. Wait he's convulsing, he's convulsing! Nurse! Doctor We're gonna have to shock him! There's just to much to do in such littlest of time. I got the m sees with skittles put to beat with rhyme. like the Dr coming back to nab me up to dump me off to the dre. I told the world one day I would pay it back. Say it on tape & say it. re cord it so that one day I could play it back. But I don’t even know if I believe it when I’m saying that. Doubts starting to creep in. every day it's just so grey & black. Hope I just need a ray of that. cause no one sees my vision When I play it for em. they just say it's whack. but they don’t know what dope is & I don’t know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this. All I know is you came to me when I was at my lowest. You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to. you But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do. But it just dawned on me. you lost a son, demons fighting you, it’s dark Let me turn on the lights. & brighten me & enlighten you. I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue. Cause me & you were like a crew, I was like your sidekick. You going to either wanna fight me when I get off this mike Or you going to hug me, but I'm outta options, there's nothing else I can do. It hurts when I see you struggle, you come to me with ideas You say they're just pieces, so I’m puzzled, cause what I hear. is crazy But you're either getting lazy. or you don’t believe in you no more. Seems like your own opinions, not one you can form. Can't make a decision you keep questioning yourself Second guessing. It was You who believed in me when everyone was telling You don't sign me, everyone at the label, let's tell the truth. You risked your career for me, I know it as well as you. Nobody wanted to sign with the white boy, Dre, I’m crying in this booth. You saved my life, now maybe it's my turn to save yours. But I can never repay you, what you did for me is way more But I ain't giving' up faith & you ain't giving up on me. Get up cause If ya Patiently waiting to make it through all the hating Debating whether or not you could even weather the storm. When you lay on the table they operation to save you. It's like an angel came to you. sent from the heavens above. They think they're crazy but they ain't crazy. lets face it, shit basically. They just playing sick, they ain't shit. They ain't saying shit. spray 'em Fifty a to the K, get in the way I'll bring Dre & them wit me & turn this day into fucking mayhem you staying wit me? Don't let me lose you, I'm not trying to confuse you. When I let loose with this uzi & just shoot through your Isuzu You get the message am I getting through to you? You know whats coming you mother fuckers don't even know do you? Take some Big & some Pac & you mix them up in a pot Sprinkle a little Big L on top, what the fuck do you got? You got the realest & ill us killers tied up in a knot The juggle nots of this rap shit like it or not Its like a fight to the top just to see who died for the spot You put your life in this nothing like surviving the shot To Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes, plus somehow I'm pulling through. Swear when I come back I'm going be bulletproof. I'm going to do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few, Facts, cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth. Shit it just hit me that what if I would not of made it through? I think about the things I would have never got to say to you, I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do. this one is for you, Don't Ask why cause nelly already for warned you all I was about to Steel the show Cause I ain't playing' around. it's the game called circle & you can call it my miracle round. but you don't know how. I'm way too rough to back down. But I think I'm still trying' to figure this crap out. Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't. so I send them in mass force cuz This fucking black cloud still fallow's me around. But it's time to exorcise these demons. these motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now. It was my decision to get clean. I did it for me Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you So I could come back a brand new me. you helped see me through. & don't even realize what you did. believe me you. I've been through the ringer. but take it through little to the middle finger. think I got a tear in my eye. I feel like the king of My world. haters can make like bees with no stingers Cause the way I feel. I'm strong enough to go to the club to say what i want to say. Cause I shoot for the moon while you're to busy gazing' at stars. I feel amazing in this space bound rocket ship. cause your heart's the moon & I'm aiming' right at you. 250,000 miles on a clear night in June. & I'm aiming' right at you. now it isn't much But it's enough to make them wonder what's in store for us. you say It's lust. I say the two of us put together must be a sorceress. Cause I just did the impossible. & now gained you're trust. Don't play games. it will be dangerous. just give me a reason cause if you fuck me over I'm going to show you what it's like to hurt. Cause I've been treated like dirt. before you. & love is evil. spell it back words. I'll show you Nobody knows me. I'm cold. walk down this road all alone. It's no one's fault but my own. it's the path I've chosen to go Frozen as snow. I show no emotion what so ever. so. I know that without you then I ain't shit. But you all ready know I don't spit raps for you to just hack & steal & leak my shit. so peep my drift. when you say your just relaying what the voice in my head is saying so Don't shoot the messenger. well em I hope you now get the message. I show you, that I will never change, Think about it every day, I could never get shit together so, I wish there was a better way, for me to say it, But I swear on everything, If you think I will not do anything about it cause it can be any day. There are just too many things, to explain, when it rains, Guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasn't any pain. But I can't pretend there ain't, I ain't placing' any blame, I ain't pointing fingers, heaven knows I've never been a saint. I know it just feels like we just pissed away our history, But just today, I looked at your picture, almost if to say, I miss you self consciously, wish it didn't end this way. But I just had to get away, don't know why I'm gone but now my life makes you want to run away & theres no place to go all the confusion such an illusion like my life is a movie & you got no place to run & hide no matter how hard I try there's going to be some stuff your going to see that's going to make it hard to smile in the future but through what ever you see through all the rain & the pain you gotta keep your sense of humor you gotta be able to smile through all of this so this one is for you & me living out our dreams we are right where we should be with my arms out wide I open my eyes & now all I want to see is a sky full of lighters so lets pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars cause I could really use a wish right now cause I went away I guess to open up some lanes. But there was no one who even knew that I was going through growing pains. Hatred was flowing through my veins. On the verge of going insane. I almost made a song dissing My own name. It's like I was jealous of him. cause of the attention he was getting. I felt horrible about myself. He was rapping & I wasn't. Anyone who was buzzing back then could of got it. I almost went at Myself God it feels like I'm going psychotic. Thank God that I didn't do it. I would've had my ass handed to me & I knew it but Proof wasn't here to see me through it. I'm in the booth talking about the same shit but in a different way. trying talk myself into it. Are you stupid? You going start dissing people for no reason? Especially when you can't even write a decent punchline. even You're lying to yourself, you're slowly dying, you're denying Your health is declining. with your self esteem, you're crying out for help. saying just carry on, don't mourn Rejoice. every time you hear the sound of my voice. Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling & I didn't feel a thing, So don't feel no pain I was just so Afraid to make a single sound Afraid I would never find a way out Afraid I'd never be found I don't wanna go another round An angry man's power will shut you up you Run out of excuses for everyone So here I am & I will not run Guts over fear the time is near Guts over fear I shed a tear For all the times I let you push me around & let you keep me down Now I got guts over fear, Feels like it's close, it's coming so what the fuck am I gonna do? It's too late to start over This is the only thing I know & I know what it's like, I was there once, single parents Hate your appearance, did you struggle to find your place in this world? the pain spawns all the anger on But it wasn't until I put the pain in songs learned who to aim it on That I made a spark, started to spit hard & Learned how to harness it while the reins were off & there was a lot of bizarre shit, but the crazy part Was soon as I stopped saying "I gave a what" Haters started to appreciate my art & it just breaks my heart to look at all the pain I've caused But what am I gonna do when the rage is gone? & the lights go out in that trailer park? the window is closing & there's nowhere else that I can go with flows & I'm frozen cause there's no more emotion for me to pull from Just a bunch of playful songs that I made for fun So to the break of dawn here I go recycling the same, old song But I'd rather make "Not Afraid 2" than make another "We Made You too so Now I don't wanna seem indulgent when I discuss my lows & my highs My demise & my uprise, pray to God I just opened enough eyes later on Gave you the supplies & the tools to hopefully use it to make you strong Enough to lift yourself up when you feel like I felt Cause I can't explain to y'all how dang exhausted my legs felt Just having to balance my dang self When walking on eggshells I was made to walk But thank you, man cause that gave me the Strength to remind others of how many can easily forget. is noticing the small things in life can be more bigger then just what meets the eye. When ever i here the one's who say I'm not really here, or there is no God, then I promise to you, when my son takes time to notice, he is painting this beautiful picture to only try to share with all of you. father, I'm just only being the son you had raised me to be, I'm so thankfull for you have only given me one of the best childhoods to never forget, & it just hurts that other's took it upon them self's to judge you without knowing the facts and even if knowing the facts what makes them to be any better When they think they can make judgment upon another for there actions and end that person's life for what people don't know is it was my step father that hurt me when I was taken away by the government & placed in a foster home. You & mom had to fight to just get me back home. I just feel like never speaking about what had happen to me while placed in foster care, maybe that's why naithen is so mad at me because I made it out & let him down when I left him in that messed up house. I should of been brave & not afraid to speak up & speak out so no one else would end up getting hurt. So when they empty that stadium At least I made it out of that house & I found a place in this world when the day was done So this is for every kid who all's they ever did was dreamt of one day just getting accepted I represent him or her, anyone similar, you are the reason that I made this song & everything you're scared to say don't be afraid to say no more From this day forward, just let them ass holes talk Take it with a grain of salt & eat their faces off The legend of the angry blonde lives on through you when I'm gone & to think together we move mountains, & I know you miss your dad When I'm gone but I'm trying to give you the life that I never had, I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you want to cry Cause you're scared, I ain't there? Daddy's with you in your prayers? No more crying, wipe them tears, Daddy's here, no more nightmares, We going pull together through it, we going do it Sounds a bit crazy, don't it? Yeah, but you know I will always love you & you better know it? We're all we got in this world. When it spins, when it swirls Looking puzzled, in a daze I know it's confusing you daddy's always on the move, Now your on the on the news & I try to keep you sheltered from it but somehow it seems The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me All the things growing up as daddy, that he had to see Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did We did not plan it to be this way, but I'm alive again, & It hurts but I never show, this pain you'll never know If only you could see just how lonely & how cold & frostbit I've become, my back's against the wall When push comes to shove I just stand up & scream forget this fame, man you really we're not playing when you were saying to be careful what I wish for Cause you just might get it & if you get it then you just might not know What to do wit' it, cause it might just Come back on you ten fold but this time around It's different then the last two albums. they didn't count Encore I was on drugs, Relapse I was flushing em out I've come to make it up to you no more fucking around I've got something to prove to fans. cause I feel like I've let em down. So please accept my apology I finally feel like I'm back to normal. so quit fooling with me. you're gonna see No pistol in my hand but you better know I got control of myself this time. let me break it down for you to understand. I got a nine inside my mind you couldn't metal detect. it's best to stop now. before I take the time & take your clock & knock your ass out with it. then you really talking like a coo coo clock. take your last chance card & tell em it's time to be clocking out. I done told you if I'm not rapping the only other thing I love to do is to be scrapping cause I told you I'm a fighter so now light your lighter & just hold it in the air cuz I'm about to show up but you want that. Man so why does it always gotta be an issue when you're me & which you're gonna see in the long run who will be the wrong one so if you know you're alphabet then you should know when I count my one two's & threes, if you don't know by now i can split the m seas, that's why they call me the devil dog when you flip it you'll see that God lived to show the beast. when the feds play shyest. flashback to September 7th when 2 pawk was murdered in Vegas he said that he predicted his own death let us never forget it should we ever live to regret it. like the day that John F Kennedy was assassinated in broad day by that crazed lunatic with a gun, who just happened to work in the same block in the library book depository where the president would go for a little Friday stroll. shots fired from the Grassy knoll. they don't know, do they? who's they, for em to say? countdown a nuclear meltdown 7,6,5,4 3,2,1 you can run you can do what you want to but you know you ain't going to do nothing you know what i'm saying? nobody knows me with this Pistol in my hand. this cruel world can do without me, How can I survive? Got me asking Myself will I liv or die. the Lord can't see us in the deep dark clouds of the projects. ain't no sun shine. No sunny days, we only get to come out and play sometimes so here em say I feel like me again, let me formally reintroduce myself to you for those of you who don't know The new me's back to the old me & homie I don't show no Signs of slowing up, puling up, blowing up, all though My life is no longer a movie as some of you know me as just Scott mason but when I'm in the movies you may know me as john Conner & some of you know me from out the good book as Jesus Christ & a promise is a promise just like that I told you I would be on my way soon so cause I'm back reincarnated. incarcerated At the time I contemplate the way that God made it. Lace em with lyrics that's legendary. cause I died & came back. so now I hustle with these lyrics as if it's a game of crack. Thugging is in my spirit. I'm lost & not knowing scar'd up but still flowing. energized & still going. can it be fate. My murderous lyrics equipped with spirits of the Thugs before me Pay off the block evade the cops cause I know they coming for me I been hesitant to reappear, been away for years that makes a sick kid hate On these jealous ass coward cuz they evil & fake What will it take? so Like the media immediately points a finger at me. So I point one back at 'em. but not the index or the pinky or the ring or the thumb. it's the one you put up. when you don't give a what. When you won't just put up with the bull they pull. Cause they full of shit too. like I got this upper class city having this happening. Then attack Eminem cause I rap this way, cussing the paint off the walls Spewing his hate to these haters, showing no love for these bully's He ain't given them it, they say he will pinch a penny so hard He will leave a bruise on the bronze so dark you can see the mark with the scars, till Abraham Lincoln is screaming out These metaphors & similes ain't similar to them, not at all If they don't like it, they can all get stuck instead of brushing me off they can go get a track or a new beat, to hang themselves by cause they just got taken to school by one of the most purest, more rawest form, flow almost flawless, most hardest, most honest known artist, chip off the old block, so what up doc it looks like they at it He's fucking had it, he's mad at the whole world So go to hell & build a snow man girl The bullies become bullied, the pussies get pushed Then they better pull me, take me back to 9th grade to school me cause I ain't looking back, only forward, this whole spot blowing Who could of known he would of grown to be a poet & not know it & while I'm being poetic let me get historic & raise the bar Higher than all opinions of these kids that have been lowered So bare witness to some biblical shit as a cold wind blowing this world ain't going to know what hit it He did it, he made it, he's finally famous. Who would've knew from the moment I turned the mike on a corny looking white boy scrawny & always onry Cause I was always sick of brawny bullies picking on me & I might snap, one day just like shady ever sense the day I was born & Drugs is what they used to say I was on. it's just the story of my life so if you don't want to believe in me then that is of you're own choice. I just have this image I look up to, in hopes to become a good loving father & I guess in time people do change. time does find the truth like if you had one shot, one opportunity to see's everything you ever wanted, would you capture it? they ask me what am I doing with my life that's so grate? I reply saying maybe i'm lost, tired of this feeling of always being alone & so far away from home. i'm here for a whole new generation, it's no longer a mystery. some think it's scary, while others wonder whats happening. the call, that started it all. from me back to my father. That is why I stand up to share with all of you of my plan. this is like something no one has ever seen before. I will be right there, son remember your name. you were the chosen one to come back to reunite the world you had started. You live, You die, you come back again as a legend, this is there impire to a marshals legacy how he was & always will be a free man. I said I had a full house but they thought they got me playing some checkers before I beat them in this game of chess trying to play me like a pawn so I took there king for checking a mate I was like oops sorry to late check mate game over I win you loose in this game of life you might win in your monopoly but tell you learn sorry I won't listen to no baby. Try to play me hitting the reset button 7 times in a dam row, well I just couldn't stop after counting my one two's and three's I guess I'm just a nice kind of guy , open his chess up and was like he don't need no heart being that cold balled and looking so old so I showed my cards open his chest and took his heart like an ass hole trying to play games with me calling me you're worthless pawn so here's the story of once upon a time a pawn turns to take the king and call him Mr President here's for still out living our dreams a father that will show you what life really means you see me up there up where up there heavens much bigger then all this it's growing up and soon I hope all of those will to cause heaven can't be heaven without you so up, up and away saying smoking herbs and spices just ain't the way when my Father and I like to keep the flow of things so try to be as fast & quickly rap it up I will teach people there is nothing to hide. I will do that until you get everything you ever wanted. Son you created this world. this generation may not know that, to see something even more on the authenticity. you have spent a lot of time on this world. people might start to go bizerk when they get the full glimps on the inside looking out. Dad a time takes place that started with you, when I wanted, not to be Just like you everything I did was a great adventure. You would always ask, do you think we can do this & I would say, yes I believe we can do this. You sometimes pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me. I am who I am your approval isn't needed. Let your dreams be bigger than your fears & your actions louder then your words I may not be there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday. Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regret, so love the people who treat you right & Forgive the one's who don't believe that everything happens for a reason. if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it. nobody said it would be easy. I just promised it would be worth it. the minute you think about giving up. Just think of the reasons why you have held on for so long. When you expect the best I prepare for the worst. We are only the reflection in the mere as we're looking back at one another, seeing the reality, that god give's us to see the right, but by given that right, does it give you the right, to judge upon another man's acti