Kiersten Hathcock is a second time guest on Rosemary’s show. She was featured on Shark Tank to help fund her startup called Mod Mom Furniture. Her company has blossomed remarkably since the last time Kiersten sat down on MOM. She also created the Little Light project, which helps sensitive children, grieving parents, and sexually abused victims find a more spiritual path in life. On the show, she talks a little bit about her divorce, becoming a medium, and how you can help your sensitive child grow and cope with the noisy world outside.
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At 7, my daughter was coming home from school crying. I could tell she learns differently and is more sensitive.
I never believed in mediums. I thought it was all bull, but I couldn’t deny the things that were happening in my life.
By listening to your daughter, you validate that you respect her and that she’s important.
About Our Guest
At the Little Light Project (a 501c3 not-for-profit), we strive to be a voice for the kids. Not just the kids of today and those who have passed on, but the child in all of us. Specifically, we are helping families coping with:
Highly Sensitive Kids, many of whom are diagnosed with ADD, ADHD, Anxiety Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. Being a highly sensitive kid in our world is a tough road and many kids end up trying to numb their sensitivity to the world through drugs and alcohol. Many are also more prone to depression, due to their sensitive nature.
The Aftermath of Childhood Sexual Abuse, many of whom are just now starting to cope as adults with the life long affects of sexual abuse they endured as children. Recent studies are now linking that child predators are more likely to target highly sensitive children who, in general, are more open and trusting by nature.
The Death of A Child. Many parents come to us as a last resort having gone down the road of traditional grief therapy and they find they are just hanging on by a thread. They are grieving parents who are hoping every day they can get up out of bed and perform normal daily tasks that are easy for those of us who haven’t endured such intense pain and grief. Having helped over 65 grieving families since LLP was founded in 2013, we have also found that many of the children who pass from accidental overdose and suicide fit the description of a highly sensitive person.
So what makes us different from other organizations out there?
We look at healing and help from all angles and welcome all perspectives. Many of us who volunteer at LLP are highly sensitive, childhood sex abuse survivors and some of us have endured the pain of child loss. We all agree that a balanced approach, combining Western, Eastern, and Spiritual philosophies is ultimately what led us to healing and balance in our own lives. You will find a mix of traditional psychologists and counselors on our Volunteer Staff alongside Intuitive Healers and Alternative Medicine Specialists.
Transcript
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Rosemary Nickel:
Hi, this is Rosemary with Motivating Other Moms and this is one of those special podcast with a purpose. I am interviewing entrepreneurial moms who are doing something special. So, they have their business and they also have a side project, a non-profit, that is making a big difference and this is actually a previous guest as we were ending our interview I learned about her non-profit and it’s a fantastic and it’s such an interesting one as well. There’s all these different kinds of arms to it that I think you guys are going to like. So, welcome back Kiersten Hathcock of Mod Mom Furniture and the Little Light project
Kiersten Hathcock:
Rosemary, thank you so much. It’s so fun to back back. I had a blast last time chatting with you, so thanks so much for having me on.
Rosemary:
I’ve had a blast time. Last time when I interviewed you it was all about your experience on shark tank and what’s happened in your business since then. You did not get funded by anybody on shark tank, but somebody found you to fund your business and since then a lot of things have changed in the past since we’ve talked.
Kiersten:
Yes, a lot of change as life is, but change for the better and a lot of growth. Who knew at age 41 you really start to dive in and find out what your purpose is and who you are as a person, so there’s a lot wrapped into it.
Rosemary:
Oh my gosh, the older I get, the happier I am I’m old. I was thinking yesterday I should make a graphic somewhere along the lines of when I was younger I felt really bad for old people and now that I’m older I feel really bad for young people.
Kiersten:
I hear you. I felt like I was blind going through my 20s and 30s. 40s hit and yeah, a lot of awakening for me, that’s for sure.
Rosemary:
Oh my goodness. This year with your changes you’ve been growing your business and things happened in your business and your things happened in your personal life.
Kiersten:
Yes, a lot of change. Mod Mom is doing really well. I ended up partnering with 30 year veteran in the industry who is helping me grow the business. His name is Robert Petrol. We’re also working on another side project business together and I found love with him as well. So, there’s a lot of good stuff wrapped into that. The unfortunate side though is I’m going through a divorce with my soon to be ex-husband of 18 years.
There’s a lot that goes into why that happens, but I can tell you it’s really strange for me, because it kind of comes full circle with what I’m doing with the light project and I never realized it. There’s just a lot healing that’s happened in the last year for me personally as a childhood sexual abuse survivor that kind of lend to an awakening of what I want in my life. So, Mod Mom is definitely growing. The Light project is growing and I’m moving into a new life and a new love.
Rosemary:
I love your spirit around all of this. This is a time when a lot of time that a lot people think this is it. I have no more..everything that I thought was suppose to be isn’t and I just give up. I throw my hands up in the air, but you along with and we were talking before show. I know about four other entrepreneurial moms that are growing through divorce. This seems to be, it makes me nervous as an entrepreneurial mom, it seems to be a thing that happens, because as we grow, because a lot of times we out grow our relationships, because we’re growing so quickly and our relationships can’t withstand that. Can you share a little bit about what’s happened with Little Light project that kind of brought you to this realization.
Kiersten:
You’re right. It’s funny that you were scared about it. I get it. This was nothing something I foresaw ever in my future of going through my divorce, but I also had blinders on quite a bit and that goes back to the Light project and what I’m doing there. I found out back in November, as a child, I was sexually abused by distant relative from multiple years and I was between the ages of 3 and 6 and so it was formative years. It was so traumatic that I blocked it. I completely blocked it, so I had no memory of it and then it wasn’t until last November or so, leading up I was sorting to have panic attacks.
My body was showing me that there was something that wasn’t right. I was also starting to have flash blacks and visions of what happened to me. I didn’t expect this to happen, but as I was starting to cope with that and deal with that I started to really look at side and figure out, you know, who is Kiersten? Who is this person? So much of what I had done was to create coping mechanism that helped me get through life, but was that the real me? You know? So, as I was doing that and trying to get through the light of my marriage and trying to figure out, you know, if the marriage is good for me going forward and ultimately we both decided it was not. So, we’ve been in that process for about 9 months now.
Rosemary:
The truth of the matter is neither one of you can afford to move out, so you’re both still living together.
Kiersten:
Yes, absolutely. It’s so difficult, because to make that kind of decision, you know, we talked earlier before we got on the call. Very good man, we’re both very good people, wej ust don’t fit together in a romantic couple setting anymore. I also know you get this one life and you gotta live it to the fullest and I want to make sure I go with my heart and I want him to have the best too and to go with his heart. But yeah, living together after you decide you’re divorce is not an easy task, but I think we’ve managed to handle it the best that we can. There really isn’t an option at this point, but there will be in 2015. We will be able to make that change.
Rosemary:
What are some tips that you can maybe give mores going through this right now that how you guys have handled this in a way that is…people are shocked that you can actually.. I mean, usually when you’re getting a divorce you’re fighting like cats and dogs and you can’t be in the same room much less the same house.
Kiersten:
I mean, there’s been a little bit of that. I mean, we’re human, so there’s definitely been some fighting, ups and downs, feelings. I think that we both get that our most important part of this is to do it right for our kids. We’ve got 2 children, 16 and 12. It’s really important for us that they know they are loved and they feel secure and they know we will always be a family, it’s just going to be different. That’s not going to ever change. We will always be a family.
Rosemary:
I think that’s fantastic that you guys can work together and do that and for people to see that is possible. One of the things I mentioned before we got on the call here is that I have four entrepreneurial moms going through a divorce and it’s been beautiful watching how they handle it with grace. I think it’s something that within our industry, because we’re so insightful about how we react to things and how we are being as a person and creates what happens in our life.
Kiersten:
I think you’re so right about that and I’ve never put that together and you’re right. I’ve talked to a few folks, I know several moms who have gone through divorces as well who I will definitely consider entrepreneurial moms or corporate leaders and I think you’re right. We kind of go to the core of it pretty quickly. It took me a little while to go to the core, because there was a lot of stuff I had to dig through in terms of my past, but once I did, it was very evident that change is needed to happen.
Rosemary:
It’s really interesting. I am saying this because I want other entrepreneurial moms to hear this. One of the husbands actually just admitted he couldn’t handle the growth. He could not be there and he also knew he wasn’t the person to support her, because of how big she was becoming and how big she was going to be and how she needed to be a place in the world. That’s her purpose. He was gracious enough to say that and say, I can’t handle that. I’m not the person for you.
Kiersten:
Right, wow, that’s amazing. That’s a big consideration as Mod Mom grows and as the Light project grows, I know that it was hard for my ex as well. There is a lot involved and I know that all the hours that we spend, you spend as well, all the hours that you spend, not being as present with your kids as you may want to be and that takes a toll and not being as present with your spouse as you want to be.
Rosemary:
Yeah, it does take a toll. It’s really hard. We’re always trying to find that balance that doesn’t exist. Totally doesn’t exist. There’s a lot of frustration, because you feel like okay, I’m doing too much in my business right now. How do I regain that back and be able to spend time with my family, which is why I’m doing all that I’m all that I’m doing. It’s a struggle.
Kiersten:
It is a struggle and for me, some of the realizations as I was going through the divorce, I was packing my time with my business and with all of these outside things, because I didn’t want to see the truth of my relationship. So, there’s that side of that too. I know going forward in my life, I want, you know, in my relationship I want it to be balance. I want a balanced life. I want to do that as best I can, but I also know the reality of being an entrepreneur is just you gotta work your tail off until you can get to the point where you can hand some things off.
Rosemary:
And not work your tail off.
Kiersten:
Exactly and then go a trip to the Bahamas
Rosemary:
Yes, yes. That’s it! So, how are you managing, because you do have a third party already, how do you manage that with your kids and our spouse.
Kiersten:
It’s actually sort of all coming to light now in terms of my children. I’m big on trusting my intuition and my intuition has said that you need to wait until it’s the right time for them to know more. So, we really sort of taken a cue, also both of us have consult therapists and what not, so we’ve gotten professional advice as well, but for me is that I’m lucky that I work with him, so we do get to see each other. We’re not in the same city right. We will be in this next year, but we do get to work together, so when I have to travel we are seeing each other then, but for the most part life looks pretty normal to the kids aright now, although they know that we’re divorcing.
Rosemary:
What are some suggestions you can give to moms about approaching the subject with your kids?
Kiersten:
Oh gosh, that was so hard. You know, my heart was pounding out of my chest. I think for us, for us, it was very evident. We went, like most couples do, we went from being in the same master bedroom to being in separate bedrooms, so there’s a big clue there. They’re going to pick up on that, especially at their ages. So, initially we kind of did it stages and we told them that we were having issues.
A lot of martial couples go through that and at the time we were also seeing therapists and we needed to be honest to them about that and that’s why we were in separate rooms and then we spent the time to make sure everything was as we thought it was and then we were able to sit them down about six months later and say, you guys, here’s what we’ve realized and we basically laid it out the same way I was talking with you. We’re good people, we both care about each other, we’re just not right about each other in a married relationship anymore. He wants the best for me and I want the best for him.
So, we wanna let each other go in that aspect, but we’ll always be their parents. So, they see us nice to each other, being caring, and that’s helped quite a bit. So, I think as much as you can do that and make sure they know they’re your first priority, then I think you’re ….and be open with them, be really honest with them, I think you’ll be on the right track.
Rosemary:
Have you had any problems with them thinking it’s their fault or something that they did?
Kiersten:
We really haven’t. I did address that though, because I wanted to make sure they knew. None of this. This is totally separate. My relationship with my ex is completely separate from, you know, with my relationship with the kids and all that. So I just had to make sure they understood that. I think one of the things I also tried to do throughout this is I’ve always been really honest with them and open with them and coming from my background that we can talk about with the Light project as a person who receives messages from spirit, that’s a lot for a kid to wrap around their brain around.
They’ve been used to me being honest about stuff that doesn’t necessarily fit in a box. So, for them, it was just me saying, you guys, we’re human. We didn’t plan this. There was no..we didn’t get set out to divorce. We love you guys very much and we feel so blessed that we were able to come together for 18 years and have these wonderful kids, you know, but now, we wanna make sure that they understand as they’re growing and learning that they trust their intuition, they trust their heart. They really go after what it is that they want.
Rosemary:
I love that, I love that. Let’s talk about the Little Light project. I mean, you guys cover sensitive kids, sexual abuse survivors, grieving parents. We’re talking about whether your kids are sensitive in a spiritual way or whether they have autism, ADHD, and all of those things.
Kiersten:
It’s funny. When I first started the Light project, I started it in September, 2012. It was after a period of me, I kind of awakened to my own intuitive gifts. I wanna say right off the bat that everybody have these gifts, it’s just some people are a little bit cued up higher than others and sometimes it just takes practice. So, for me, I had no idea why I was starting to hear, you know, out of the kitchen, I would hear mom, I would see a child, what looked like a child, go through my house. I knew my kids weren’t home. So I was kind of going through that, am I losing my mind? Have I been sniffing too much polyurethane in the garage? My work with my furniture company. Like, I really thought I was seriously going crazy, but that was in 2011.
Over the next year, about a year and half, it just kept happening. I was sort of nudged to reach out to different parents of these children who had past on and pass messages and the validation I received from them lend me to believe this isn’t crazy. I don’t know why I’m tapped in and can do this, but it’s so healing for them and it’s healing for me as well. So, for me, I started the Light project really to help grieving parents and parents would write in and they’d say I’ve lost my child and I would say if your child comes to me, I will pass messages to you, so that’s how it worked.
As I started to grow and as the organization grew, I started to weave in, there was a common thread actually through, which was being highly sensitive. We have two kids who are very highly sensitive. We’ve been down the road through diagnosis for ADD, ADHD, anxiety disorder, so that became also a part of what I had dealt with and we kind of hit a lot of road blocks in traditional care and it wasn’t until I started to look at alternative methods. I was like okay, I understand this from a medical side, but let’s look at this from a spiritual side.
Once we started to do that, everything changed. That was another piece that I wanted to add in, because there’s so many kids being diagnosed for different disorders and the kids we’re helping now who have been diagnosed, you know, we teach them things like setting boundaries, how to do that, you know, if they’re overwhelmed, it’s just because they’re overwhelmed by all the energy they feel around them. So, some of those techniques have helped tremendously. Our kids are off of pharmaceuticals and all of that, because of it.
So, the highly sensitive kids was added and then last year was when we added the sexual abuse part, mainly because of me. I’m the founder, so a lot of this threads through my life. So, once I started to put that together, it’s been really interesting, because we’ve had a lot of kids who have come in spirit who were highly sensitive who said they couldn’t deal anymore, who maybe overdosed, committed suicide, who were sexually abused and it was too much to handle.
So, we were even seeing it on the spirit side. We’re seeing it with the kids we’re working here now and we’re also seeing a lot of the folks that come to us were like me. You know, abused as a child and the way that it affected you is unbelievable and most of these people who were coming to us who were abused as kids are highly sensitive as well. So, it’s wild. I never imagined this whole puzzle fit together when I added it all, but it does.
Rosemary:
It’s kind of interesting because your furniture is puzzles as well.
Kiersten:
Yeah, right? Who knew. I remember back a long time ago, I never believed in medium. I didn’t believe in any of that. I thought this was all bull, but I couldn’t deny the things that were happening in my life. So, I ended up seeing a medium in Las Angeles and she said, well, what do you do for a living? And I said, well, I make kids furniture. She said, isn’t that interesting, she said, you’re going to take everything you’ve ever done in your life and you’re going to help and I want this for you and I want this for the kids of the US and of the world. I had no idea what she was talking about. I went home thinking like like she’s lost her marbles and I’ve lost my marbles for going to her, but I tell you what. She was spot on. Spot on, because that’s exactly what started to happen. Just my focus on, I’ve always been focused on kids, but never realized how focused in the future.
Rosemary:
That’s fascinating. When it comes to, I had a reading like that when I was in my 20s and I thought she was bonkers and I’m totally in with her reading right now.
Kiersten:
Right? I think as medium now I understand it more. I understand that for me, I wouldn’t necessarily consider myself a psychic or anything like that, but I can only pass the messages that I receive. I can’t pass anything I can’t receive. So for me, I’m really like the telephone line right between the too, but she was clearly receiving messages about what my life path was and i had to wake up to that. It was not only about healing others, but it was about healing myself and that was long before I understood how much healer I had to do.
Rosemary:
So, there’s people. Gosh, there’s so many questions I have. One of them..I’m afraid to ask you either one of them. I want to go down one road and forget to go down the other one.
Kiersten:
It’s okay. I’ll pull you back, it’s all good.
Rosemary:
When you talk to me, there’s a lot of people who use mediums over and over on a regular basis. It’s like their crack for life. They have to go to the medium to get the answer for life. How dangerous as that? Because for me, I think of it as you’re allowing somebody to come into your head and decide what’s going to happen in your life and it may not be the right decision.
Kiersten:
It could be dangerous. You’re absolutely right. I think you have to go into it with the right perspective. You’re not going to hear from a medium who is heart center. Of course, it’s like any industry. You’ve got good doctors, you’ve got good lawyers, bad, you know, it’s the same thing in the spiritual world. If you have a heart-centered medium, she’s only going to share what’s coming through for her, for you, so, you’re only going to know what you’re suppose to know in that moment, but I think people need to go into readings, any kind of readings, knowing that you are the master of your own domain. You can make changes. The future is malleable. It just depends. He or she might be able to see sort of the big picture, but not the steps to get there and that’s where as a person you have to rely on your own intuition, your own intuitive gifts when you get a reading like that.
Rosemary:
When is a good time to go? People question it, people say I don’t wanna do it or I don’t believe in it, it’s all foolery. When is a good time for people to go? Is there ever a good time or you just kind of jump in and try it?
Kiersten:
Honestly, I feel like everybody is guided by their own intuition to the time. That’s how it happened for me. The timing couldn’t be more perfect for me.
In terms of, like, I can kind of break it out. In terms of a grieving parent, if you’ve lost a child, I know the mediums I work with at the Light project who offer their services in their time and do free readers, you know, we all say, please don’t reach out to a medium until maybe the third month after the loss, because the grief creates such a block and it’s their emotional state as well. You know, that’s really, really hard. Spirits know that, so it can be difficult sometimes for spirits to relay a message, because they know it’s not good for them to hear at that moment. You know what I’m saying? It’s just too raw. So, as far as grieving parents I’d say, wait maybe three months and once you’re in the place to actually truly receive the message, then you’re golden.
For everybody else, I think you just follow your gut. If you’re really feeling pooled to go to someone, then do it and have the perspective that you’re going in to try and learn more about your self, but it doesn’t mean that everything that comes out of it is the law.
Rosemary:
So, when you guys are sitting in a room together, do you guys sit there and read each other?
Kiersten:
You know, that’s such a good question, actually. I have several friends that work with me on the Light project, but we’re spread across the country, so we actually don’t get into a room very often, but when we get on the phone together, because it’s kind of taking one light and another light and putting them together. We can kind of channel more together. So, all of the sudden, somebody will come through and I’ll say, there’s a little boy here, he’s got a bowtie on and she’ll say, oh, he’s saying his name is Jacob and we kind of go back and forth that way. So, there is some truth to that. You put people together with specific energies and you kind of get energy times 12.
Rosemary:
That’s gotta make for a really crazy party.
Kiersten:
There’s no way to shut it down. I try very hard. I haven’t even been as good as setting boundaries as I should’ve been and I’m learning that now, because honestly spirits just wants to get a message across and they’ll into any length to do that and if they know you’re open and receive or you can hear or you can see, then they’ll be knocking on your door. So, early on when this was all happening to me, I was woken up constantly at night. I had to set the rules, like, you guys can’t come to me at night. I have to sleep.
Rosemary:
Is it all you have to do, is just say that and they go okay?
Kiersten:
Yeah.
Rosemary:
Really?
Kiersten:
Yeah, I think it’s very similar to when you set an intention about your life. I believe thought energy is energy. It’s going somewhere. Prayer is energy. It’s the same type of principle where you can set the intention for what you want and manifest for what you want and the same goes for the spirit. They sort of have to abide by what your rules are.
Rosemary:
So, how does this work whenever you have a religious family approach you and this is like a big no-no in the religion world. You don’t touch spirits, you don’t mess with that.
Kiersten:
Right, exactly. That’s such a great question. Some of them will definitely be, you know, a lot more guarded, but honestly it just takes one validating fact. It takes one something that there’s no way I could have known, because I’m just listening to the child tell me what is happening. It takes that one thing and then there’s that belief. If they are religious, then they also believe, most of the time, that they is a higher power. They might not know how it all works and heck, I don’t know how it all works. I only know what I do, but from that standpoint, there’s comfort there they can’t deny and they can’t deny that they’re child isn’t know of what’s happening to them right now, even though they’re in spirit. It’s tough. It is tough though. There are a lot of folks that will completely avoid mediumship and spiritual healing because of that.
Rosemary:
I want to go back to you finding out that you were abused. So many women, men included, boys and girls, are abused by a family friend or a family member when they’re young. A lot of people might be aware that something happen, but they’re not sure what it is, but they don’t want to bring it up. What happens when you don’t bring it up?
Kiersten:
You have the best questions. What happens typically, what I’m finding, and in working with..the Light project isn’t a bunch of mediums together. My goal with the Light project, I’m very scientific, I’m very balanced with bring together educational professionals, mental health professionals, bring us all together, so that we can all address each side.
So, as I’m working with a lot of therapists through the Light project in my own healing, I’m finding that like, it is very typical for something to come out, some sort of breakdown, break through, around the age of 40 or a lot of people will have flash backs or have some sort of recollection or when they’re having a baby. It’s big events like that that will start to come out, because your subconscious is ready to let it out. Basically, your subconscious sort of knows you’re ready to start dealing with it and heal it. So, if you don’t address it.
Some people go their whole lives and they don’t address it, they may have, you know, a therapists may look at them and go, oh wow, she’s classic signs. You know, self-esteem issues, heavily overweight, kind of eating in order to insulate themselves, to protect themselves. There’s a lot of tings like that that you can kind of see as markers, but sometimes it’s not right for that person to open up Pandora’s box, because it could take them down.
Rosemary:
Yeah, I can see the fear around, I don’t want to go and address of that, because of the years of therapy to recover from now knowing what really happened when you could be on the path and kind of growing yourself and you’re getting confidence in your 40s and why would you want to go, and I think a lot of people probably ask that question, why would you want to go and open that box?
Kiersten:
Well, I think, what starts to happen and one of our therapists, Holly Conley, had said on one of our calls recently, she said, most people who walk into her office, they’re not coming in and saying I was sexual abused, I need help. I was a little bit different, because I think of my mediumship skills, you know. I saw what was happening, so I knew. They come in saying, I’m having trouble with my marriage, I’m having panic attacks, I don’t know why, I have a strange fear of this and that or the other, so it’s like the symptoms of it will actually show up more so then the recollection than the knowing and, you know, for the folks that we’re talking to, a lot of them, if they have addressed it, they’re coming to us sort of as a last resort, because they’ve been through talk therapy and no amount of talking is helping. They need validation. They want to look at it from a spiritual side.
For me, it was actually so, so helpful to reach out to a few mediums, because I was getting bits and pieces, but I wasn’t getting the full picture. So, be able to reach out and say, did this happen? Because you question it as any one would, and what happened? Here’s what I’m seeing and then I would get a full blanket and I’d have head to toe chills, so that I would know that was real. So, it’s not something that’s been made.
Rosemary:
How can this help, seeing as you mentioned this, you know, asking this self if this really happened, how could this help domestic abuse, because what happens is these women get abused and they’re physically abused, and these men manipulate man to think it didn’t happen or this is your fault, it’s all a mind game.
Kiersten:
It’s a total mind game and you know the same thing sort of happens with sexual abuse as well, because it’s not something anybody wants to talk about and it’s something that is swept under the rug. I think that what I’m finding in doing this work is it’s cycles we’re having to break. There’s a cycle. There’s a pattern of abuse. Typically it’ll go from generation to generation and maybe not even, you know, talked about. As far as domestic abuse, there was likely a cycle of domestic abuse as a child that leads them to that type of relationship and that type of energy as an adult.
Rosemary:
So, they attract that, right?
Kiersten:
In some ways, what I’m finding too is that a lot of folks go into relationships in order to try and heal themselves by re-creating that same type of energy. It might be a different scenario, it might not be, you know, physical abuse, but it could be verbal abuse. So, the little child is still trying to heal, yet at the same time it’s still trying to please, because that’s what they know. I don’t know if that helped.
Rosemary:
Well, I’m trying to think of the next question I want to ask, because it’s around the fact you can have two people in the same household that have experienced the same type of abuse and one is attracted to the abuse and the other one is like either there’s no way in the world I’m living my life this way and no body is going to ever do that to me.
Kiersten:
It’s so common, yeah, it’s so common. I see that in many relationship, folks that I know, and that I’m close to. I think, you know, I like to also look at it at the big picture soul standpoint. I believe we come into these lifetimes to learn and grow and to evolve spiritually. I believe we pick our parents, you know, this is just my belief, but I believe we pick our parents and there are certain things that we’ve set out to learn in our life times and sometimes we’ll have that one child, right, in an abusive household. Say, you got three kids, you’ve got one kid who just rallies against it. Just knows, like, in their soul.
That is likely for their growth and it’s also for the growth of the other family members around them. So, on a bigger picture on a soul level, I think that we’re placed in different positions in order to heal and grow and I think that might be one of the reasons why that happens. Another reason is, you know, I think people just react, like, they’re going to go one way or another. You go towards it or you go away from it. You know, it depends on the amount of abuse, it depends on the aftermath as they grow and how that affects them.
Rosemary:
So, you are kind of touching on past lives here, right?
Kiersten:
Yeah.
Rosemary:
Which is another one people are going like, oh my god, don’t go there.
Kiersten:
Right, totally taboo, don’t talk about that. I know, I know. Hey, believe, I thought the same thing. You know, I’ve never thought about past lives or any of this stuff years ago.
Rosemary:
Crazy woman, crazy.
Kiersten:
Crazy, out of her mind! But, I am amazed by…to be honest with you to bring it back to the highly sensitive kid portion of what we do, I’m just blown away by what these come in with. The kids of today are kind of coming in at a higher vibration, you know, everyone is noticing they’re are a little different. They’re coming into kindergarten classes and they’re talking about, remember when I used to live in a log cabin in 1860s out in England.
They’re actually pulling forward information that there’s no way they could know and I’m seeing a lot of news stories where they’re proving, like, how did this kid know that this plane went down that in a past life he was a fighter pilot and his plane went down in this exact same position. How does he know any of this? How does he? So, there’s a lot of eye opening stuff that’s happening if you’re open to it. You can look at it from a scientific standpoint when you are open to it.
Rosemary:
Do you think the reason why this is being noticed that maybe it’s not our kids are coming at a higher vibration, but maybe the parents are becoming more open and more aware and see that whereas in past lives for say that was like totally ignored and that was of the devil.
Kiersten:
Absolutely. If you look at society as a whole, we’re growing, we’re becoming more, I mean yes, we’ve got a lot of stuff going on in the world right now and it is a dark place, but 10 years ago, you know, when we were watching..I was going to say the Cosby show, then I thought no, I better…
We were watching Family Ties, right, and now, we’re watching the Long Island Medium and they’re shows about how meditation in schools is actually helping our kids. Oprah has, you know, her shows on Deepak. Oprah is an amazing force in this world. So, I think we’re all elevating, our consciousness and because we’re all connected that elevation, you know, we’re seeing that in our children as well. I think they’re coming in a little bit higher than we are. I feel that. I feel like my kids came in to teach me a lot. A lot. They look at me too like that sometimes like, ugh, mom.
Rosemary:
Well, there’s no doubt about that that our kids are sent to us to teach us. No doubt about that. What do you do when you have a highly sensitive kid? I didn’t have one, for example, I know one personally very well. She’s one door over right now and she was going to school and at 7 she’s coming home stressed and crying and I’m like, wow, this is so not right. I could tell she definitely learns differently and she’s definitely more sensitive. She’s one of those kids that ever sense she was little bitty and she could talk, she was sharing stories of past lives. This is when it all becomes very, we just let it have conversations, we let it go, and this is when I became aware of it, and more interested in it and when I got past that free of, oh my god, this is of the devil. I started looking into it a bit more, because they are a bit more verbal and we’re allowing it as parents to have these conversations. What do parents do with this?
Kiersten:
First of all, she’s really lucky to have you guys as parents, because there’s a lot of folks who are still in this position of, oh, I’m not going to do that. I’m not even going there. By listening to her, you validate that you respect her and she’s important. That’s one of the first things that we talk to parents about and we say we know this sounds crazy and you don’t have to fully believe in it, but you do need to be open to your child and listen to them and not give off the air that this is crazy and you’re just making this up. So, that’s one of the first things we do talk about with parents.
As far as the kids, you know, one of the things we do like I was talking about before. A lot of these kids, it’s boundary is issues. It’s being so receptive. So, you kind of think of it like, you’re a radio station and you’re dialed up. You’re dialed up so high that not only are they receiving just the normal someone’s talking to me, the teacher’s talking to me, they’re also perceiving everything that’s happening around them at all times and they can get overwhelmed by it and that’s when tantrums happen, there’s the shut down. It’s all of that.
So, a lot of what we do is we talk to them about visualization techniques, like, if they’re tiny, let’s say they’re in kindergarten, there are different ways you can do this and it’s all just visualization, but it gives them empowerment. It empowers them to take care of themselves. So, I would say to Grace, okay, because she was very sensitive as a child and took on the emotions of the room. I’d say, alright babe, do you have your backpack? Yep, I got my backpack. Do you have your lunchbox? Yep, I have my lunch box. Alright, so, we’re going to calm all that stuff down when you get to school, because there’s so many kids. Alright, so you’re going to put your cape on. Yeah, I’m going to put my cape on. So, I said, alright, I want you to think about that, you just put your red cape on and it goes all the way top of you. You’re inside a big bubble. So, we talk about that kind of stuff. Yep, I’m in my bubble. You’re locked down? Yep, I’m good. Okay, let’s go.
She would go to school and she wouldn’t absorb as much of everything going on, because she had some sort of visualization of protection around here and whether you believe that is actually energy and it is protecting or or whether you believe it’s just an empowerment techniques, it still works. So, that was one of the things that we share is just to create some sort of, a kid, if they like shields. You know, if they’re into that, it could be a shield, it could be a bubble, it could be a cape, it could be anything that they’re in to.
So, that’ll be one thing. Some kids respond really well at night to what would be, I guess, a line of the chakras. Like a chakra meditation. A lot of these kids are seeing spirits all the time and they see spirits all the time and they’re scared, so we teach them how to go through each chakra, which is an energy system within your body and your third eye most people have hurd of and you close it, you lock it down, you close it.
So, at night, you can talk about going through each chakra and when you get to the very top, you know, you say, you’ve got a beautiful jewelry box and everything you’ve done that day, all those wonderful moments and what you felt really good about, we’re going to seal all that in, because then it also address self-esteem and kind of goes that route. And that, I have to give credit to one of our mediums, Necole Stephens, who is a grieving parent and an internationally know medium and that is something that she’s come up with and it’s actually been passed around pediatric facilities. Physicians are suggesting her work and that type of thing to children.
Rosemary:
I would love to get that link to put that into our show notes.
Kiersten:
Yeah, absolutely. We’re just starting to work on, you know, putting more of that stuff together.
Rosemary:
So, are you saying a lot of kids that are being labeled as autistic, because there’s so many parents struggling with this right now. They are just like, their hands are up in the air, I don’t know what to do for my kid. Is this more along the lines of maybe they’re more sensitive and spiritual as oppose to being autistic.
Kiersten:
I think it’s very individual, because I think with the kids that are coming into today that are dealing with this stuff is truly case by case. I know we had one child who was struggling quite a bit and it was a combination of pharmaceutical and spiritual, so all of that was what ended up helping her. I think that our western society, what I experience with my own kids is we were shuttle down one road and one road only. Okay, so, we think he’s anxiety disorder, so we’re going to get you into a school psychologist. Okay, great, school psychologist, then refers to outside psychologist, makes the diagnosis, here’s some Zoloft, off you go.
So, I didn’t even know at that point that there were other options. I had no idea. I could go, wait, maybe I could look into who he is as a person. I mean, he says a lot of old soul stuff, so maybe there’s a connection here. We actually started seeing an energy balance. She does reiki, that type of thing, and she’s also into herbal medication. So, we actually started to wean him off the Zoloft, because we were seeing bad side effects with that and went more the holistic route and that ultimately what saved his self-esteem too.
Rosemary:
How can people listening to this who may have autistic kids and they’re willing to try anything, how do they know where to go, who to choose, and what to do?
Kiersten:
That’s a great, great question. I feel like, first of all, they just have to open to researching in their area. They can always contact us. We just getting started, so honestly with more funding, we’re able to hold more sessions in different parts of the country, but I think being able to go out and do some research on the link between autism and spiritually and autism and sensitivity, that’ll be the first place I’ll go. From there, they’re going to be guided to the right folks. I think the more they can look at it holistic, which most parents that I know of autistic kids do, they look at it from every aspect, the better off they’re going to be, but again, it’s really individual.
I don’t want to make a blanket statement that all autistic kids are seeing spirituals and are highly, highly sensitive, because they’re not, but I think there’s a big, big population of these kids that have sensory processing issues. They have all of these characteristics that you’re kind of forced as a physicians to pick a diagnosis, a code, so they code them, but it might not be the right code. There’s no code for highly sensitives kids, there’s no medical code for that.
Rosemary:
Right, because it’s not medical.
Kiersten:
Exactly, so I think over ths years and the coming years, we’re going to start seeing people more open. It’s amazing, we’re getting emails all over the world from parents who are saying, please help me, now they think he’s this and I don’t think he is and he’s a wonderful child and I’m afraid he’s self-esteem is going to get beaten down, because of all the diagnosis.
Rosemary:
Yeah, it’s really a hard, hard path and I feel so bad for parents that are going through this. They’re so frustrated and they’re just trying to find answer. Bless their hearts, they give everything of themselves for their kids.
Kiersten:
Yes, absolutely.
Rosemary:
So, we’re about ready to close out. I have 100 other questions though.
Kiersten:
I can always come back on anytime. Absolutely. I love chatting with you.
Rosemary:
Sexual abuse survivors. Do you deal with kids as well who have been sexually abused?
Kiersten:
I think we will. I think right now, you know, most of who we’re getting are folks who were sexually abused as children and are trying to cope with it as adults. That’s just, you know, by nature, because that’s what happened to me. So, a lot of it is dealing with that, but we do have plans down the road. We work with child therapists who work with sexual abuse survivors who are children who have just dealt with it.
Our hope is to really be able to offer around the country live events, call in events where you don’t get one view point. You get lots of view points. You get the balance of eastern, western in the spiritual.
Rosemary:
That’ll be a great show for Hay House Radio.
Kiersten:
Wouldn’t it? I need to talk to them. We have, just to throw it out there, not sure when it’s airing, but we do have a free call in session coming with Necole Stephens and again she’s a grieving parent and a medium. Most of the time, you gotta wait to about a year to be able to chat with her, because she’s so booked up, but she’s doing a free call in next Monday night on December 22nd for and hour and a half and parents can call in and they just make a $11 donation to the Light project and it’s on our website and then on the 23rd, we wanted to stack it during the week of Christmas, because know how hard it is for parents who have lost children during the holidays, so we’re having another free event with a different medium who is also going to be available to try and pass messages of healing.
Rosemary:
Well, send me that information. I won’t be able to get it aired by then, but I’ll be happy to share that with my listeners. I know it’s so important. Speaking of grieving parents, what are some ways that they can get support and how do they search for support? Do they go to the Little Light project and you guys have resources there? What’s the best step for them?
Kiersten:
Absolutely. Come to our website, we do have resources on site and we’re going to have more as well, so even if it’s just reading or kind of looking at it from that aspect, maybe they’ve gone through grieve counseling and still feel like they’re hanging on by a thread. We’re also going to put together, as we grow, we’re going to put together, you know, forums, and groups of folks. Like, we want to make sure each city has its own group that they can also join in like Compassionate Friends is a great place, that’s a big grieving parent group that I think is huge right now across the nation. So, we’ll have those types of services and references on our website as well. We have stories of healing, we have stories of..there’s this story about myself and passing messages to some acquaintances from highschool about their son who had passed away. So, they can read about just how healing it is to be able to receive messages from their kids.
Rosemary:
I can’t only imagine, because that’s the one thing you want. You want to be able to see your kid again and be able to talk to your child and hear..you always wonder each year where they’re at.
Kiersten:
Right. People find features that are just there. They’ll come out on the porch and there’s a bunch of nickles. You know, things like that. There are signs or just the feeling of someone hovering or watching over or songs. Music is huge. You could be driving on the road and a song would come on and you’d think of your child. It’s all that synchronicity stuff.
Rosemary:
That’s amazing. It truly is amazing. Thank you so much for the work you guys are doing. It is just beautiful that you’re healing the world. You’re healing the kids, you’re healing sexual abuse survivors and you’re healing grieving parents. I mean, this is all stuff we’re carrying around with us, which affects us, it affects the people around us and the energy that we put out into the world, which affects the world.
Kiersten:
Thank you, Rosemary, I appreciate that. I agree. You know and honestly, in doing it, I’m healing myself. So, I’m very grateful for that.
Rosemary:
Yes, that’s what’s great when you start living your purpose, because not only are you doing it for other people, but it does heal you and it puts that energy again back out in the world for everybody else to share and experience.
Kiersten:
Exactly. Thank you so much for having me on.
Rosemary:
Thank you, you too.
Kiersten:
I’ll come on anytime you want!
Rosemary:
You can go to LittleLightProject.org.
Key Takeaways
2:30 – Kiersten catches up with Rosemary and talks about her personal life.
6:10 – Kiersten still lives with her ex-husband, but they’re making it work for their kids.
13:45 – Rosemary asks about Kiersten’s non-profit, the Little Light project.
19:20 – Is going to a medium dangerous?
25:18 – A lot of people might not remember they’ve been sexually abused when they were younger until they hit their 40s or have had life changing event.
30:45 – Kids today have more spiritual energy than ever before.
35:30 – How do you help sensitive kids not got overwhelmed?
38:10 – Each kid is different and sometimes you may have to combine both pharmaceutical medicine and holistic medicine to help them.
42:45 – Kiersten talks about her upcoming call-in events for parents who want to talk one-on-one with mediums.
44:30 – It’s so healing for parents to receive messages from their kids when they have passed on.
Mentioned in This Episode
http://www.kierstenhathcock.com/
http://www.littlelightproject.org/
https://www.facebook.com/NecoleStephens2
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx
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