Random spammer, welcome to This is Your Life! And might I say, you have much to rethink.
Each day the ol’ Midlife Crisis Crossover spam filter catches a few would-be advertisers and funnels them into a gravity well for handy reevaluation and inevitable permanent disintegration. For my first depressing month on WordPress it was simple to discern spam comments from real, live comments: if it was a comment, it was a spammer. My undying gratitude remains perpetually owed to those longtime followers who wrote real, live comments in subsequent months so that I could eventually form a basis for comparison between sincerity and superficial salesmanship.
Nowadays my daily spam dosage tends to be the same few varieties over and over again. It’s quick to flush but boring to glance at. It’s rare to see one of their lowly kind be creative enough to merit more than four seconds of my time.
When one of them fails at their quote-unquote “job” in spectacular fashion, then they have my undivided attention for all of a minute, the equivalent of an eternity in their world.
It’s in that spirit that I share the following comment, which was dumped on my virtual lawn today as a single response to a months-old post. This isn’t a collection I spent hours compiling. Someone who’s apparently new to the spamming business (and possibly new to the brave new world of personal computers) copied and pasted their entire dummy-reply flashcard collection into the reply box all at once.
Like so, in its entirety. Once its presence becomes tiresome, please feel free to rat-a-tat on your page-down key and scroll past this wasteland to the end.
Thanks on your marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading
it, you may be a great author.I will always bookmark your blog and will
eventually come back sometime soon.
I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great posts, have
a nice afternoon!
My spouse and I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to
be just what I’m looking for.
Does one offer guest writers to write content available for you?
I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a number of the subjects you
write with regards to here. Again, awesome web site!
We stumbled over here from a different website and thought I might as well check
things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.
Look forward to checking out your web page for a second time.
I really like what you guys tend to be up too. This kind of clever work and
exposure!
Keep up the terrific works guys I’ve added you guys to my own blogroll.
Hi I am so glad I found your blog page, I really found you by error, while I was
looking on Google for something else, Regardless I am here now and would just
like to say kudos for a remarkable post and a all round thrilling blog (I also
love the theme/design), I don’t have time to read through it all at the moment
but I have saved it and also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be
back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.
Appreciating the commitment you put into your blog and in depth information you
present. It’s good to come
across a blog every once in a while that isn’t the same old rehashed material.
Fantastic read! I’ve bookmarked your site and I’m including your RSS feeds to my
Google account.
Hola! I’ve been following your website for a while now and
finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Lubbock Texas!
Just wanted to tell you keep up the good work!
I’m really loving the theme/design of your weblog. Do you ever run into any
browser compatibility problems? A handful of my blog audience have complained
about my website not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome. Do
you have any tips to help fix this problem?
I am curious to find out what blog platform you happen to be utilizing? I’m
experiencing some
minor security problems with my latest blog and I’d like to find something more
safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?
Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess
I’ll
just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I
as well am an aspiring blog blogger but I’m still new to everything.
Do you have any recommendations for novice blog writers?
I’d definitely appreciate it.
Woah! I’m really loving the template/theme of this blog.
It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s very difficult to get that
“perfect balance” between superb usability and appearance.
I must say that you’ve done a very good job with this. In addition, the blog
loads extremely quick for me on Opera. Outstanding Blog!
Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I provide credit and
sources back to your webpage? My blog site is in the very same niche as yours
and my users would truly benefit from some of the information you provide here.
Please let me know if this okay with you. Thanks a lot!
Hi there would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re utilizing?
I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different internet browsers and I must say
this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider
at a honest price? Thank you, I appreciate it!
Great website you have here but I was wanting to know if you knew of any forums
that cover the same topics discussed in this article? I’d really like to be
a part of online community where I can get advice from
other experienced individuals that share the same interest.
If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Bless you!
Hello there! This is my 1st comment here so I just wanted to give a
quick shout out and tell you I genuinely enjoy reading your blog posts.
Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with the same
subjects?
Thank you!
Do you have a spam issue on this blog; I also am a
blogger, and I was wanting to know your situation; we have developed some nice
procedures and we are looking to trade methods with
other folks, please shoot me an e-mail if interested.
Please let me know if you’re looking for a author for your site. You have some
really great articles and I believe I would be a good asset. If you ever want to
take some of the load off, I’d absolutely love
to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine.
Please shoot me an e-mail if interested. Thank you!
Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles?
I mean, what you say is fundamental and everything. But just imagine if you
added some great photos or videos to give your posts more, “pop”!
Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this website could undeniably
be one of
the greatest in its niche. Amazing blog!
Neat blog! Is your theme custom made or did
you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple tweeks
would really make
my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your theme.
Kudos
Hi would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m looking
to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time deciding
between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because
your design and style seems different then most blogs and I’m
looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to
ask!
Hi there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The words in your article
seem to be running
off the screen in Safari. I’m not sure if this is a format issue or something to
do with web browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know.
The style and design look great though! Hope you get the issue fixed
soon. Cheers
With havin so much content and articles do you ever run into any problems of
plagorism or copyright infringement?
My website has a lot of unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced
but it looks like a lot of it is popping it up all over the internet without my
permission. Do you know any methods to help prevent content from being stolen?
I’d definitely appreciate it.
Have you ever thought about creating an e-book or guest authoring on other
websites? I have a blog based upon on the same ideas you discuss and
would love to have you share some stories/information.
I know my viewers would appreciate your work.
If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.
Hey there! Someone in my Facebook group shared
this website with us so I came to look it over.
I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting
this to my followers!
Great blog and outstanding design and style.
Superb blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring
writers? I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on
everything.
Would you recommend starting with a free platform like WordPress or
go for a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely
confused .. Any recommendations? Thanks!
My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP. I have always
disliked the idea because of the expenses. But he’s tryiong
none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on several websites for about a year
and am nervous about switching to another platform. I have heard fantastic
things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress
content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!
Does your site have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating
it but, I’d like to send you an e-mail. I’ve got some ideas
for your blog you might be interested in hearing. Either way, great website and
I look forward to
seeing it improve over time.
It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button!
I’d certainly donate to this brilliant blog! I suppose for now i’ll settle for
bookmarking
and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look
forward to brand new updates and will talk about this site with
my Facebook group. Talk soon!
Greetings from California! I’m bored to death at work so I decided to check out
your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I love the information you provide
here and can’t
wait to take a look when I get home. I’m surprised at how quick your blog loaded
on my phone .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..
Anyways, wonderful blog!
Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic however I’d figured I’d
ask. Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a
blog post or vice-versa? My website discusses a lot
of the same subjects as yours and I feel we could greatly benefit from each
other.
If you’re interested feel free to shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing
from you! Terrific blog by the way!
Right now it appears like Drupal is the best blogging platform available right
now. (from what I’ve read) Is
that what you’re using on your blog?
Terrific post however , I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this
topic? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit more.
Many thanks!
Hello there! I know this is somewhat off topic but I was wondering if you knew
where I could find a captcha plugin for my comment form?
I’m using the same blog platform as yours and I’m having difficulty finding one?
Thanks a lot!
When I initially commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added”
checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get several e-mails with the
same comment.
Is there any way you can remove me from that service? Appreciate it!
Hello there! This is my first visit to your blog! We
are a team of volunteers and starting a new project in a community
in the same niche. Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on.
You have done a outstanding job!
Greetings! I know this is kinda off topic but I was wondering which
blog platform are you using for this website? I’m getting tired of WordPress
because I’ve had problems with hackers and
I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be great if you could point
me in the direction of a good platform.
Hi there! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post
reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept chatting about this. I will
forward this write-up to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thanks for
sharing!
Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on
the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why
throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your site when you could
be giving us something informative to read?
Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave
it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to
your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab
inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is
completely off topic but I had to tell someone!
Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to see if
it can survive a 40 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad
is now broken and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I
had to share it with someone!
I was curious if you ever considered changing the structure of your site? Its
very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little
more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an
awful lot of text for only having 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it
out better?
Hello, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just
wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you protect against it,
any plugin or anything you can suggest? I get so much lately it’s driving me
crazy so any assistance is very much appreciated.
This design is steller! You most certainly know how to keep a
reader amused. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start
my own blog (well, almost…HaHa!) Wonderful job. I really
loved what you had to say, and more than that,
how you presented it. Too cool!
I’m truly enjoying the design and layout of your site. It’s a very easy on the
eyes
which makes it much more pleasant for me to come here and visit more often.
Did you hire out a developer to create your theme? Exceptional work!
Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this blog before but after checking through
some of the post I realized it’s new to me.
Anyways, I’m definitely glad I found it and I’ll be
bookmarking and checking back often!
Hi! Would you mind if I share your blog with my twitter group?
There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content.
Please let me know. Cheers
Hello, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I
look at your blog in Ie, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it
has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then
that, terrific blog!
Sweet blog! I found it while surfing around on Yahoo News. Do you have any
suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for
a while but I never seem to get there! Thanks
Hello! This is kind of off topic but I need some advice from
an established blog. Is it tough to set up your own blog?
I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking
about making my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any ideas or
suggestions? Cheers
Hey! Quick question that’s totally off topic.
Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My weblog looks weird when
viewing from my iphone.
I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to fix this issue. If
you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!
I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but your sites really nice,
keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later.
All the best
I really like your blog.. very nice colors &
theme. Did you create this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for
you?
Plz answer back as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to find
out where u got this from. cheers
Wow! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a entirely different topic
but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Great choice of colors!
Hello just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the
pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but
I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers
and both show the same results.
Howdy are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but
I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any coding expertise
to make your own blog? Any help would be really appreciated!
Heya this is kinda of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors
or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but
have no coding expertise so I wanted to get guidance from someone
with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Heya! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?
My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many
months of hard work due to no backup. Do you have any methods to stop hackers?
Hi there! Do you use Twitter? I’d like to follow you if that would be okay. I’m
absolutely enjoying your blog and look forward to new updates.
Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers?
I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on.
Any recommendations?
Good day! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?
I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing
very good results.
If you know of any please share. Cheers!
I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog and was
wondering what all is needed to get set up? I’m
assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny?
I’m not very internet smart so I’m not 100% certain.
Any recommendations or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Hmm is anyone else experiencing problems with the pictures on this blog loading?
I’m trying to figure out if its a problem on my end or if it’s the blog.
Any responses would be greatly appreciated.
I’m not sure exactly why but this web site is loading incredibly slow for me. Is
anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my end? I’ll check
back later on and see if the problem still exists.
Howdy! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone! Just wanted to say I
love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the
outstanding work!
Wow that was odd. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked
submit my comment didn’t appear.
Grrrr… well I’m not writing all that over again. Anyhow, just wanted to say
superb blog!
Perhaps I’m jumping too quickly to the mean-spirited conclusion. I suppose it’s possible that each of his sixty-four personalities are diehard MCC fans and each wanted to express their respective awe at my boundless talents, so they all took turns at the keyboard. If so, that was nice of every version of him to say.
Otherwise, his sloppy handiwork is my amusement. I recognize a lot of these vague, non-specific statements as spam replies left for previous posts over the past sixteen months on WordPress. (My previous blog was too tiny and remote to have this issue. Ever.) I imagine overseas companies swap these options back and forth, or merely steal them from each other, then pretend they’re dignified businesspeople as they clutter innocent, meaningful blogs with these unhelpful virtual barnacles.
This compendium, now available for us non-spammers to peruse at our pleasure, can serve so many uses. Newer bloggers can compare future commenters to this list and delete accordingly without any tentative guilt. Paranoid users can search through seemingly benign comments they’ve allowed through their filter in the past and retroactively excise them. Judgmental types can use this list to review blogs they’re thinking about following, just to test the writer’s housekeeping skills. Someone with more free time and creative resources could turn this list into a wonderful game of Blogging Bingo.
Thank you, random spammer, for providing us with this priceless resource. Here’s hoping someday you’ll find a better job down there in Lubbock.
