5 years.
7,000 pages.
13,000 panels.
700,000 words. [Approximately the length of the Bible.]
Over 3 hours of animation.
Over 23 hours of soundtrack.
15 separate games, in 3 unique styles.
PBS once called Homestuck the "Ulysses of the Internet". Its author, Andrew Hussie — who resembles Joyce in his impishness, stylistic maximalism, and fondness for disturbing smut — calls it "a story I've tried to make as much a pure expression of its medium as possible". It has become a cultural phenomenon, inspiring proms and dominating Amazon makeup reviews. But most importantly, it's a rollicking good read, equal parts slapstick and epic, bildungsroman and cultural commentary.
What on earth about it makes its fans so overly zealous? And how the hell does one start the daunting process of reading Homestuck? If you're even the remotest bit curious about this Internet phenomenon, the following is a teensy-weensy introduction to just what makes Homestuck so terrific.
As Homestuck is a love letter, in many ways, to the Internet itself, it's only fitting that we start this off with a retro HTML-friendly TABLE OF CONTENTS.
SOME CURATED PLAYLISTS [HSMUSIC00]
for your listening pleasure
==================================
[HSMUSIC01] ...... THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACKS
[HSMUSIC02] ...... A BIT OF MELLOW JAZZ
[HSMUSIC03] ...... HERE HAVE A SYMPHONY
[HSMUSIC04] ...... BLOOD-PUMPIN' FIGHT SONGS
[HSMUSIC05] ...... SATURDAY MORNING FAKETOONS
WHAT IS HOMESTUCK? [HSPRIMER00]
start here if you are very confused
==================================
[HSPRIMER01] ...... IN A NUTSHELL
[HSPRIMER02] ...... WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO LONG?
[HSPRIMER03] ...... WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT GOING IN?
[HSPRIMER04] ...... WHY SHOULD I BOTHER?
THE GAME WITHIN THE GAME [HSSBURB00]
"the sims" meets chess meets "fullmetal alchemist"
==================================
[HSSBURB01] ...... AS TOLD BY GAMEFAQS
[HSSBURB02] ...... SERVERS AND CLIENTS
[HSSBURB03] ...... PROTOTYPING
[HSSBURB04] ...... THE OBJECTIVE
[HSSBURB05] ...... AND WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE REWARD?
THE PLOT [HSPLOT00]
here be spoilers
==================================
[HSPLOT00] ...... THE PLOT
[HSPLOT01] ...... RECAPS FROM THE MAN HIMSELF
[HSPLOT02] ...... THE GAME BEGINS
[HSPLOT03] ...... PARADOX SPACE
[HSPLOT04] ...... SCRATCH AND ENGLISH
[HSPLOT05] ...... ALPHA AND OMEGA
[HSPLOT06] ...... AND NOW, A CONVOLUTED TIMELINE.
THE EXTENDED UNIVERSE [HSEXTRAS00]
less a rabbithole than a secret underground world
==================================
[HSEXTRAS01] ...... SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF
[HSEXTRAS02] ...... PARADOX SPACE
[HSEXTRAS03] ...... RYANQUEST
[HSEXTRAS04] ...... HOMESTUCK MEETS SCOTT PILGRIM
[HSEXTRAS05] ...... RUFIO FROM THE MOVIE HOOK READS HOMESTUCK
[HSEXTRAS06] ...... GREY DELISLE (AVATAR, THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS) DOES VOICES FOR HOMESTUCK
[HSEXTRAS07] ...... TOO MUCH WIKI
Ready? Here we go!
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SOME CURATED PLAYLISTS [HSMUSIC00]
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This guy has a lot of troll pals and their adventures are going to be quite extensive and convoluted, to an even greater degree than one perhaps may be accustomed. He thinks that if you think that we have time to drag out every little gag and expected pattern along the way, you've got another thing coming. He thinks you should cram that sobering understanding in your chitinous windhole, and tamp it down hard with your ugly stupid looking cartilage nub.
—Andrew Hussie, Homestuck
"Extensive and convoluted," indeed. Here, pick some music before you go any further. Everybody likes music. And there is heck of plenty to go around.
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THE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACKS [HSMUSIC01]
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There are nine "official" soundtracks to date, ranging up to three hours in length each.
Volumes 1-4 are composed of generally simpler pieces: straightforward video game chiptune tracks (1 2 3 4), as well as songs for solo piano, violin, and bass, and a chorale for kittens and ponies. They also included a number of dreamy, uplifting tone pieces, and several songs hinting at the adventure that was to come.
Volume 5 introduced the Homestuck anthem, and established a number of variations on several major Homestuck themes: Doctor (var 1 2 3 4 5 6 7) and Endless Climb (var 1 2 3 4 5 6 7). It also introduced the "Crystal" theme, which has shown up in Crystalanthemums, Crystalmanthequins, Crystalanthology, and Crystalmethequins. Finally, it introduced one of the most iconic songs in the Homestuck oeuvre to date: aptly-named The Beginning of Something Really Excellent.
Volumes 6 and 7 slimmed down, and vastly increased the diversity and range of their songs. Along with piano ballad 3 In The Morning and lush compositions like Black Rose / Green Sun and Savior of the Dreaming Dead, you get the Nic Cage Song, the theme song to popular magazine GameBro, the wildly majestic Horschestra, and a cover of the classic Armageddon power ballad I Don't Want to Miss a Thing. For fans of the less-beloved genres, there's some carnival and elevator music thrown in as well, and yes, those are crucial to the plot, thank you very much.
Volume 8 returned to the epic soundtrack length, but came accompanied with some epic compositions to boot. From opener Calamity to epic 13-minute album closer Cascade, the soundtrack mixes Homestuck's chiptune, rock, and symphonic ambitions together, resulting in pieces both driving (Unite Synchronization; Arcade Thunder) and evocative (Do You Remem8er Me; Even in Death (T'Morra's Belly Mix)). It also came with Homestuck's first a capella cover.
Volume 9, meanwhile, has a little bit of everything. Busting Makes Me Feel Good is the best kind of sample-driven dance track, Minihoof's Adventure and GameGrl bring the irritation-intensive whimsy, and Lancer is a sparse and satisfying standing bass-heavy jazz bit (contrast with the chiptune-jazz-and-dubstep mixture of Hate You). Pumpkin Party in Sea Hitler's Water Apocalypse is everything I want a song of that title to be. And the soundtrack ends in the most straightforwardly "epic" composition that Homestuck's done to date: the ever-building A Taste for Adventure.
(Albums Alternia, AlterniaBound, and Cherubim are also collaborative soundtracks, but you've got to draw the line somewhere, and I draw it at "has 'Volume' in the title, followed by a number".)
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A BIT OF MELLOW JAZZ [HSMUSIC02]
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Midnight Drew: Drawing Dead is everything you want to be listening to on a quiet night at three in the morning. For starters, there's album opener Three in the Morning. Dead Shuffle's another fan favorite, and I'm partial to the synth-trumpet on Ace of Trump myself.
Related conceptually if not in sound is album The Felt, which is driven more by ambient loops than by jazz instrumentation, but which has a mellow sound to it nonetheless. Swing of the Clock slowly swirls up around a slow 2/2 beat before erupting into sound; Temporal Piano is reminiscent of the Penguin Cafe Orchestra and even Steve Reich in its tonally-light variations around a central, repeating piano riff. The (backwards?) cello on Baroqueback Bowtier is another unusual-but-satisfying concoction.
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HERE HAVE A SYMPHONY [HSMUSIC03]
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Symphony Impossible to Play is an orchestral work in four parts, built in part around Homestuck themes and in part around original music by two of Homestuck's primary composers. It is not, however, Homestuck's only longer-form composition by any means.
Genesis Frog is an hour-long work composed primarily for orchestral instruments that is particularly playful within its range of instrumentation. Thip of the Tongue is spacious and light in its first half, rambunctious in its second; Buy NAK Sell DOOF progresses with a whimsy that reminds me of Danny Elfman and Carter Burwell, and a love of xylophones that makes me think of Frank Zappa. Genesis Frog also comes with a live chamber performance of its song Pondsquatter.
One Year Older is more overt in its game-music origins; its compositions are more driven by guitars and synth than the other full-length Homestuck orchestrations. But the patient way it approaches and develops its themes does a lot for me. FantasyP's build upon one of Homestuck's more memorable melodies is especially nice.
If you're looking for solo piano — and, I mean, who isn't looking for solo piano? — album Sburb is nothing but. Creation sounds like an outtake from The Truman Show soundtrack, whereas The Meek reminds me more of Ludovico Einaudi's solo piano work.
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BLOOD-PUMPIN' FIGHT SONGS [HSMUSIC04]
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Strife! is... well, it's called Strife!, okay? Guitars. Drums. Especially angry-sounding synths. Dance of Thorns even has an angry-sounding synth that's trying to sound like an angry-sounding violin, and there is nothing wrong with that, because it is also satisfying as all hell. Knife's Edge has the sort of shredding that sounds really great if you know nothing about shredding whatsoever, and that's me, and it might be you too. Who knows?
Meanwhile, Mobius Trip and Hadron Kaleido is just an unusual mixture all around. It's got some great funky-sounding lines to it, and a vocalist who you'll find either incredibly endearing or annoying as all hell. Chain of Prospit's the one that clicked with me the most quickly, but The Deeper You Go has a beat that's sexy as all-get-out, and no vocalist to boot. If you can get on board with the vocals, Dawn of Man is a fan favorite, but it is very voice-heavy, so be warned.
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SATURDAY MORNING FAKETOONS [HSMUSIC05]
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Look. Homestuck didn't need an entire soundtrack devoted to its fake TV show Squiddles. It just didn't. It didn't need an overly-cutesy theme song, or an accompanying waltz, samba and march. There's no reason for it to have a song specifically for Skipper Plumbthroat, a character who is never once mentioned in Homestuck proper. Let alone a second song about Skipper Plumbthroat. Or a harpsichord ditty for also-never-mentioned Princess Berryboo, with an obscure throwaway reference to the terrible Legend of Zelda TV show tossed in to boot. Or a somewhat-disturbing credits song that literally only exists so it can be used in a Lovecraftian plot twist-slash-nightmare fuel.
But Homestuck gave you this soundtrack. Just in case. Because why not.
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WHAT IS HOMESTUCK? [HSPRIMER00]
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Alright. You're all musicked up. Let's get this party started proper.
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IN A NUTSHELL [HSPRIMER01]
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Homestuck is a story about 4 children, each approximately 13 years old, who start playing a computer game together and end up having to save the universe.
This story is told through a linear sequence of web pages. The content of these pages changes with every "panel", but generally it includes some combination of the following:
— static images
— animated GIFs
— Flash animations or interactive games
— A second-person "text prompt", mimicking the interfaces of interactive fiction games.
— IM conversations between the different children. This is almost exclusively how characters speak.
There are two layers of "game" played within Homestuck, which oftentimes intermingle. The first layer is the "interactive fiction" itself, in which commands are issued to the various characters through a text prompt. Each command leads to a new page — in a sense, each "panel" of Homestuck serves to show you the result of a particular action.
The second layer of game is the one which the children play in-game, which is called SBURB. It consists of an elaborate series of mechanics, as well as a mythology so complex it is oftentimes (and humorously) inscrutable. For more information on SBURB, see The Game Within The Game [HSSBURB00].
The narrative of Homestuck is the story of what happens as these children play this game, presented as a game of interactive fiction which you, the reader, are playing. And it is approximately as long as the bible.
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WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO LONG? [HSPRIMER02]
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Frank Herbert's Dune famously referred to its own Machiavellian plot as one of "wheels within wheels within wheels." Add two or three more layers of wheels, and you've got Homestuck.
On its most fundamental level, Homestuck is divided into seven Acts, with occasional intermissions. Each Act expands the scope of the story being told, often far, far past the point where you'd expect it to keep expanding.
(note: links will contain minor, disconnected, spoilers)
Act 1 ("The Note Desolation Plays") is primarily focused on protagonist John Egbert's life before he begins playing.
Act 2 ("Raise of the Conductor's Baton") is concerned more with the process of playing SBURB, and begins to show you what playing this game is actually like.
Act 3 ("Insane Corkscrew Haymakers") gradually starts to show you the extended SBURBan universe. The game's cosmology gradually begins to emerge.
By the end of Act 4 ("Flight of the Paradox Clones"), however, it becomes clear that what originally seemed like a self-contained game-within-a-game is concealing much, much more than was readily apparent.
Act 5 is bifurcated into two sub-Acts. Act 5 Act 1 ("MOB1US DOUBL3 R34CH4ROUND", also known as "Hivebent") essentially abandons the plot of the original four Acts, introducing a new story running in parallel with the original Homestuck story. The two plots are woven together in Act 5 Act 2 ("He is already here."), culminating in a 15-minute-long animated finale called "Cascade."
The two Acts 5 are considered "Part 2" of Homestuck (out of three Parts so far). To get a sense of how drastically the plot of Homestuck escalates, Act 5 Act 1 is approximately half the length of Acts 1 through 4 combined. Act 5 Act 2 is three times the length of A5A1.
Act 6, which is still unfinished, is already a third again as long as both halves of Act 5. It has been split into not two but six sub-Acts, of which the sixth and final Act seems to be splitting once more into six sub-sub-Acts.
In other words:
If you're intimidated by the length of Homestuck, keep in mind that it is incredibly bottom-heavy. The first four Acts are each very fast-paced and readable; it's only with the second half of Act 5 that Homestuck starts to really feel like the epic that it is. Think of it as a fun, silly, engrossing story that abruptly gets enormous riiiight as you're starting to feel like you wish it would never end. If you go into it expecting nothing but a lot of fun, you'll find that "a lot of fun" is pretty much what you're going to get.
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WHAT SHOULD I EXPECT GOING IN? [HSPRIMER03]
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Depending on what you're looking for as you first start reading Homestuck, it's possible that Act 1 might come across as a major turn-off. It doesn't feel like the beginning of a Moby-Dick-length epic whatsoever, although in fairness neither does the very beginning of Moby-Dick. If you're wondering whether or not Homestuck is worth the effort, Act 1 might read to you as a firm, emphatic "no".
Think of Homestuck as a meditative labyrinth. It starts at a single, concentrated point, and then gradually unfolds and unfolds and unfolds until it covers a vast expands of subjects and plots. Act 1 feels relatively inconsequential, but it establishes the kernel of a world that subsequent acts will build upon and develop into a sprawling, compelling universe.
The process of reading Homestuck is a pretty idiosyncratic one, and if you're wondering whether or not it'll offer you the sort of entertainment that you're looking for, here's a rough map of what sorts of treasures it has to offer you.
ACT 1 — Whimsical, rapid-fire jokes about video games and pop culture and computer programming. Parodies of gaming magazines, lengthy poems of praise to Matthew McConaughey movies, an extended slapstick routine about data structures, a whole lot of pranks and clowns... It's brilliantly-written and a lot less one-note than your usual humorous Internet nerdgasms, but it's still pretty much just a romp. Until the ending.
ACT 2 — The stakes are introduced. The cast of characters begins to expand, and a series of mysteries present themselves, all as the kids start to explore the game they suddenly find themselves forced to play. Here's where the plot begins clicking along, and towards the end a handful of what-the-fuck moments up the suspense so rapidly you'll think that you were watching LOST, except for the part where this time there's an answer to everything.
ACT 3 — Equal parts mythology, mystery, character, and whimsy. At this point, enough of the story's enigmas have been revealed that it can start to answer them, always in incredibly satisfying ways. At the same time, however, you're still on the cusp of an epic tale which always, always has more to intrigue you with, so with every answer expect 5-10 new questions to arise.
INTERMISSION — A seemingly detached interlude: straightforward, fast-paced, ultra-violent, and as obsessed with complex time shenanigans as Primer or that one episode of Community. If you're wondering whether or not this thing is really your thing, or if you're looking for a fun one-off read without making a commitment, try reading through the Intermission standalone. You don't need to know anything going in, and the whole piece is a quick, breezy introduction to Homestuck's house style.
ACT 4 — The point at which Homestuck's epic scope reveals itself. Earlier Acts tease the possibility that something bigger is going on than you could possibly understand, in that wonderful way that makes mythos-driven stories so much fun; Act 4 begins to pay off in major ways, making it one of the few vast, conspiratorial stories which is actually capable of putting its money where its mouth is. But even this is just the end of the beginning.
ACTS 5 AND 6 — Don't worry about these ones. If you really have a hankerin' for a spoilin', skip to [HSPLOT03] for some sense of where things wind up, but if you're at all curious about this story, you'll want to go in knowing as little as possible. Suffice it to say there's a reason these two are so long.
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WHY SHOULD I BOTHER? [HSPRIMER04]
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Okay, so it's long as hell and does Internetty things using the Internet. Who cares? What's the point? Don't fandoms on the Internet have notoriously shitty taste?
In this case, no. Homestuck is pretty fantastic. Leave behind the novelty factor, the experimentalism, the sheer impressiveness of it all. There are some pretty solid reasons for you to get into Homestuck. Here are 5 to get you started out.
It's all about the story. Homestuck is not a gags comic with a story thrown in. It is first and foremost a narrative work, and boy does it have one hell of a narrative. That ridiculous length? Almost all storytelling and plot development. It's got next-to-zero filler: on the contrary, it gives Arrested Development a run for its money in the sense that every little detail, every lingering mystery, conceals far more future information than you'll pick up on even after several rereads. For all its surface hyperkineticism, Homestuck is ultimately an epic, whose plot was designed to patiently, gradually reveal itself across vast expanses of time. In many ways, in fact, its willingness not to jump ahead of itself is what sets it apart.
It is an absolute linguistic delight. Andrew Hussie has a fondness for the quirks and foibles of the English language, and a knack for throwing bewildering turns-of-phrase at you that stick themselves deeply in your craw. What's more, he has a masterful way with voices — his characters are marvelously distinct from one another, each with a palette and a range that sets them immediately apart.
It's unbelievably lush. It starts out pretty simple, sure. But, as with the story, its artwork and its music grow richer and richer and richer with time, past the point that you could possibly reasonably expect of it. Orchestras and synthesizers and pianos and metal riffs collide with one another (see [HSMUSIC00]) as the artwork incorporates style after style after style into its tapestry. If you like looking at and hearing things, this is pretty much a thing for you.
It's the most comprehensive look at modern youth written to date. The children in Homestuck grew up with the Internet; they are accustomed to having friends which you've never met, and hobbies which are primarily digital in nature. That they communicate with one another using IM is not a random quirk — it's a testament to the social medium in which they dwell (see also: the title "Homestuck" itself). As the story goes on, Homestuck becomes an incisive look at how personalities form within the abstractions of the online world, and at how people distinguish themselves from one another when there's nothing to them but voices.
The whole thing is deeply, deeply in love with culture. All of culture. Every part of it. It loves Betty Crocker and it loves Nicolas Cage and it loves Charles Barkley and it loves Insane Clown Posse and it loves old retro video games and it loves contemporary cutting-edge sitcoms and it loves turn-of-the-century Modernist poetry and it loves RSS feeds and it loves unnecessarily complicated programming languages and it loves... I mean, it loves a lot of different things. And it goes to great lengths to incorporate as many disparate strands of the modern world into its make-up as it possibly can.
It really is something special. 2 million+ Homestuck fans can't be wrong.
(Well, they could be wrong. But they're not wrong, this time.)
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THE GAME WITHIN THE GAME [HSSBURB00]
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It's important to point out that many of these in-game details are essentially SPOILERS, so proceed with caution.
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AS TOLD BY GAMEFAQS [HSSBURB01]
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The canon explanation of SBURB was written by one tentacleTherapist on the popular web site GameFAQs.com. If you're looking for a self-contained explanation of how this unusual game works, perhaps her explanations may prove to be of service.
[0000] Caveats and Condolences
[A000] An Examination of the Basics
[B100] The Long and Short. The Medium too.
[Z001] some stuff about captcha codes and punch card alchemy
[Z301] Appendix 3 — Screen Captures, pt. 1
If you're looking for a more detached summary of how SBURB works, proceed below.
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SERVERS AND CLIENTS [HSSBURB02]
(Spoilers for Act 1 follow.)
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Players in SBURB assume one of two initial roles: Servers and Clients. Upon installing SBURB's server, players are given the ability to manipulate the world surrounding their client player. This manipulation includes moving objects across space with the cursor, deploying a new array of game-specific objects, and — perhaps most crucially — building.
The client player, meanwhile, is concerned with one thing and one thing only: survival. New clients' locations are seemingly targeted by enormous asteroids, which quickly level their homes and surrounding environs. Only by playing SBURB is it possible for clients to escape this apocalypse in time.
As time goes on, each server player becomes the client player for the next server. This forms a chain of players which concludes when the original client player becomes the final player's server.
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PROTOTYPING [HSSBURB03]
(Spoilers for Act 2 follow.)
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For each player, an entity known as a kernelsprite is created. These kernelsprites exist initially as a pure ball of transformable energy, into which objects can be placed. When an item is placed into the kernelsprite, the sprite is prototyped with the item in question.
Every sprite has the capacity to be prototyped twice over. The first prototype influences the creatures which are spawned in-game; the nature of the item prototyped with a sprite lends its various attributes to the game's initially-featureless fauna. As more players prototype their kernelsprites, creatures become increasingly complex.
The second prototyping turns its sprite into a guide for its respective player. Twice-prototyped sprites serve to provide clues to players in-game, as well as assistance in battle.
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THE OBJECTIVE [HSSBURB04]
(Spoilers for Act 4 follow.)
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At the heart of SBURB's universe is a world known as Skaia (a portmanteau of "Gaia" and "sky"), which somewhat resembles an enormous chessboard. As sprites are prototyped, Skaia expands by an order of magnitude: its dimensions increase, the pieces on both sides expand their hierarchies, and the battle stretching across its expanses grows considerably fiercer.
The war between chess pieces is predestined to be won by the black forces. When they do they initiate a process known as the Reckoning, in which meteors are sent towards Skaia to destroy it. For a while, Skaia protects itself using portals which launch these meteors backwards through time, where they provide the initial Earth-ending apocalypse that drives SBURB's players forward. These players make their way across various worlds, aided by Skaia's future survivors gathering in the wastelands of what used to be Earth, as they try to reach Skaia and defeat the black king and queen before Skaia is destroyed altogether.
If players manage to save Skaia before it is utterly destroyed, they receive what is colloquially referred to as THE ULTIMATE REWARD.
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AND WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE REWARD? [HSSBURB05]
(Spoilers for Act 5 follow.)
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The creation of an entirely new universe.
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THE PLOT [HSPLOT00]
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RECAPS FROM THE MAN HIMSELF [HSPLOT01]
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For an extensive and overly meticulous summary of Homestuck's events, look no further than Andrew Hussie's own explanations of the various events which have transpired, which collectively cover Acts 1-4 and a substantial portion of Act 5.
Be warned that these recaps are frighteningly long and very scary. More compelling (and less detailed) explanations of what the hell is going on will follow in subsequent sections.
Recap 1: Acts 1-4
Recap 2: the rest of Act 4
Recap 3: Act 5 Part 1, Act 5 Part 2 (unfinished)
Recap 4: NO FUCK THIS.
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THE GAME BEGINS [HSPLOT02]
(Spoilers for Acts 1-4 follow.)
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In its early Acts (see [HSPRIMER02]), Homestuck follows the progress of four children making their way through SBURB for the first time.
John Egbert, our initial protagonist, receives a SBURB client disc in the mail (see [HSSBURB02]). As he starts playing the game, with one of his three closest friends acting as his server, his actions reveal a meteor that's only minutes away from striking his house. By proceeding with the game's instructions, he manages to transport him and his house into the Medium, an abstract dimension which obeys all of SBURB's rules. With the aid of his server player, the overanalytical Rose Lalonde, he begins moving towards the game's first Gate, which will take him to one of the assorted worlds within the Medium.
Rose's attempts to help John are cut short by the meteors suddenly striking her region of the United States, and to escape she gets the help of Dave Strider, coolkid extraordinaire. John and Rose slowly realize they are acting with the aid of a band of Exiles, reaching out to them from Earth's distant future. The Exiles slowly gather their forces, awaiting some unseen objective, while John fights the imps which form the initial wave of SBURBan enemies, Rose seeks shelter from the raging firestorm, and Dave deals with the sadistic tortures of his overly ironic older brother (henceforth known as "Bro").
Meanwhile, we meet the enigmatic Jade Harley, whose prophetic dreams are linked to the greater SBURBan universe. Harley is the first of the four players to awaken her "dream self", a second body which dwells one of the two planets near the center of the Medium. Upon awakening their dream selves, players of SBURB can travel to the battlefield at the center of the universe, taking part in the fight for the future of reality itself.
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PARADOX SPACE [HSPLOT03]
(Spoilers for Acts 4-5 follow.)
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As John travels to the first world of the Medium and Rose and Dave enter the Medium in turn, they become aware of a hostile group of aggressors known as the "trolls". It becomes evident that these trolls are players, too, but from a different instance of SBURB entirely. Their session has become linked to the kids' by means of a process called Paradox Space, in which multiple universes become interwoven across space and time to such an extent that events in each cause the other to occur (a process known as a Double Möbius Reacharound). The kids' future actions will cause the trolls to lose their game; the trolls then act in a manner which cause the kids' game to go wrong as well.
While the kids' session begins to go horribly awry, we are given a look into the troll universe, which is dominated by an all-powerful empress who subjugates her entire race with the help of a series of elite castes. The trolls' session is exceptionally convoluted — instead of four players, they have twelve, and their group dynamic is complicated further by the species' regimented (and racist) social order, a convoluted series of courtship rituals, and — most disturbing of all — the pairing of each troll to a monstrous lusus naturae, a creature who serves as a troll's guardian, and who in turn makes its troll care for it and give into its demands.
Tensions between the twelve trolls fragment their team even before their game begins; at it progresses, a series of betrayals and manipulations divide them even further, and these cross-purposes spill over into the kids' session once the trolls begin to interact with them. Further complicating this cross-universal relationship is the fact that the trolls' timeline does not run parallel to the kids', and thus the trolls are free to interact with John, Dave, Rose, and Jade along any point in time that they see fit. Each troll charts a different path along this timeline, skipping back and forth at their leisure; this causes Paradox Space to grow increasingly complex and frayed.
Ultimately, an act by a particularly fatalist troll — who reasons that her own actions don't matter, since their consequences made themselves known before she even took them — results in the creation of an unbeatable final boss within the kids' universe, who then brings about the destruction of the trolls' game session as well. By the nature of Paradox Space, this outcome is anticipated by certain players well in advance, who then conspire to reset the game and bring about a new, winnable play session.
But not all is as it seems.
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SCRATCH AND ENGLISH [HSPLOT04]
(Spoilers for Act 5 follows.)
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Across every instance of this game within Paradox Space lurks a being who calls himself Lord English. He is an invulnerable creature with the ability to skip across time, and who conspires to bring about the end of every universe ever created, and to ultimately end creation itself.
English operates by means of paradox. He is only summoned into a universe when it is finally destroyed. Yet by the nature of his mastery over time, by the time he is brought into being, he has already arrived and made his influence known.
English's agent across these two universes is an omniscient entity named Doc Scratch. It was Scratch who engineered the creation of the trolls' universe in the first place, by means of manipulating a previous set of trolls into making a game-reset maneuver similar to the one which the trolls and children are now attempting to perform. Scratch and English are in control of the troll empress, and have bred the troll species to the point where they have become useful agents in English's extended game.
Now Scratch manipulates the trolls and kids alike to bring about the ends of their universes, while simultaneously pushing English's influence into the one which both species have collaborated on creating. As the new universe comes into being, both groups of players take actions to migrate towards it, and English sends his troops to it as well. A new battlefield emerges...
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ALPHA AND OMEGA [HSPLOT05]
(Spoilers for Act 6 follows.)
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The reset of the original universe brings about an uncanny duplicate, with four children who share traits with the four originals, but possess the genetic makeup of relatives of the original kids. John's grandmother, Rose's mother, Dave's bro, and Jade's grandfather, each of whom had a part to play in the original game session, appear here as 16-year-old versions of themselves, battling hormones and the increasing expectations placed upon their universe as they begin to play a version of SBURB, the alpha playtest to the original kids' beta.
Converging upon this universe are a number of external sources: the kids and trolls, who arrive after a three-year journey of their own; the trolls' empress, who operates on Earth under a familiar guise; the undefeatable boss from the original SBURB session; the twelve trolls from the original, never-before-seen universe; and two creatures who masquerade as trolls but are in fact something far stranger: an adolescent Lord English and his twin sister, embarking on a unique game of SBURB which leads to an encounter with a strange but somehow familiar presence.
This is the state in which Homestuck left off; for the last year, it has undergone a lengthy GIGAPAUSE while Andrew Hussie worked on the Homestuck-related video game which he raised $2.5 million for in a Kickstarter two Octobers ago. Now, Homestuck is reportedly on the cusp of re-launching its narrative, so that its final end will make itself known.
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AND NOW, A CONVOLUTED TIMELINE. [HSPLOT06]
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Just in case you wanted one.
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THE EXTENDED UNIVERSE [HSEXTRAS00]
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SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF [HSEXTRAS01]
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The webcomic Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, which can be read as a separate entity from Homestuck, is a number of different things at once:
— exceptionally shitty
— utterly brilliant
— a comic-within-a-comic written by Homestuck character Dave Strider
— a series of allusions to ongoing Homestuck events
— a source of recurring inside jokes traded by Homestuck characters, all of whom presumably read SBaHJ religiously
Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff is a popular webcomic in its own right, and has spawned a number of memorable strips:
I TOLD YOU MAN
I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!
where doing it man
where MAKING THIS HAPEN
i HAVE
the car
FUCKIN
NANCHO PARTY
(part 2)
CHAPTER 3 & CHAPATER 4
The strip is available in a gorgeous, gorgeous hardcover edition, which includes coupons to Subway, a nacho scratch n sniff sticker, and a lenticular bookmark. Daaaaamn.
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PARADOX SPACE [HSEXTRAS02]
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As Homestuck has grown as a cultural phenomenon, it has become equal parts original story and fan-based reaction. Which is why, on its fifth anniversary as a comic, Andrew Hussie launched Paradox Space, which houses a wide variety of Homestuck-related created written by a plethora of writers and artists.
Paradox Space launched with this retelling of Homestuck's very first panels; be warned that most of its stories are relatively inaccessible to non-readers. You can browse all its stories here, if you're caught up enough to know the cast and the various events.
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RYANQUEST [HSEXTRAS03]
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