Tabula rasa. The moment you give birth, you start a chapter in your life that no amount of classroom lectures or past experiences will prepare you for. The pages are all blank and you start from scratch, with only your instincts and love, gracing the cover.
Parenting has no manuals, no courses. What veteran parents know of childrearing comes from their own hands-on experiences with their kids and the wisdom of people, who’ve already been down the diaper road.
In this issue, a bunch of moms shares with us that one book that defined their parenting life and taught them the word P-A-R-E-N-T. What about you? What book has made an impact in yours?
BETTINA CARLOS
actress
The parenting book that impacted my parenting style and approach to childrearing the most is “Unleash the Highest Potential of Your Child” by Vic and Avelynn Garcia. I would actually call it a parenting bible. It elaborately discussed the different styles of kids when it comes to luring parents to give them what they want as well as the various approaches parents use to deal with those situations. It explained real discipline—behavioral or monetary. It even tackled how to teach children the value of money. To me, it is a major factor that the authors are a Christian couple. I admire their holisitic approach to disciplining and child-rearing.
MUTYA LAXA-BUENSUCESO
country manager, Luxasia
In my early parenting days, “The Baby Whisperer” by Tracy Hogg helped my husband, Jinggoy, and I in raising our daughter Mayumi. While other methods are more controversial, tipping the balance from parent-directed to baby-centered, Baby Whisperer was more balanced and flexible. It respects the baby and respects you, the mother. Its basic principle is that the secret to harmonious babying is a structured routine. Babies love it! Sticking to that routine minimizes the guesswork and keeps both parent and baby calm and rested. The routine is predictable and E.A.S.Y.: Eating, Activity, Sleeping, then “You” time.
HILARY ISAAC
news anchor, Solar News Channel
There’s this amazing book that my friend Erika gave me called “Secrets of a Baby Whisperer.” It was so spot-on and helped me identify my newborn’s cries and behavior. I wore that book out! And after it served its purpose, I gave it to another new mommy friend. The best newborn- and baby-related book I’ve ever used.
JAN CHAVEZ-ARCEO
development program manager and communication strategist
I’ve always believed that a person’s IQ and EQ are bolstered by the breadth of knowledge and experience that one acquires. Reading books lends so much to expanding one’s stock knowledge and enriching one’s experience, even if only vicariously. Thus, I want so much for my children to love learning and reading.
Diane W. Frankenstein’s book, “Everything You Need To Know to Raise a Child Who Loves to Read,” quoted American intellectual Oliver Wendell Holmes when he said, “Man’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” Such a powerful idea! So, I want my kids to mature into lifelong readers. This way, I am assured that they will continuously learn, and their knowledge and experiences will continue to expand. Hopefully, they will approach life guided better and armed with the wealth of information that they have gathered from reading.
On top of that, reading together is such an enjoyable parent-child bonding moment!
RORIE CARLOS-MANZANO
fashion and beauty director, Hola Magazine
The only book I ever read was “What to Expect when You’re Expecting.” And that was with my daughter Maxinne, 18 years ago. I don’t really rely on books. I just wing it and rely on my own instincts. My daughter turned out okay so I am sticking to my formula with my two-year-old.
TINTIN BERSOLA-BABAO
TV host of “Good Morning Club” and “Face the People,” TV5
“Becoming a Spirit-led Mom” has always been my favorite book on parenting. It was given to me years ago by my kumareng Jet, Ninang of Antonia.
Each chapter will strike a chord in your heart. I like the prayers in this book and the timely and appropriate bible quotes such as: “Psalm 32:8. ”
It reminds parents that our children are not ours, but are on loan from God. So we must not slip into what people call the “super parent syndrome.” We should do our best, try our best each day to raise our kids, but not over-control them. The book has chapters, which echo my thoughts and feelings as a mom. I recommend this book to all parents.
CHERIE MERCADO
news anchor, TV5
I devoured so many books before and after my first pregnancy to get ready for motherhood and from it all, I learned that the solution is NOT in books. Every child is different and every situation calls for a different response. Love, play, parent’s instinct and open communication between spouses—in that order—are what works.
But if I must name a book, I’ll say “The Human Odyssey” by Thomas Armstrong, PhD. It had the most profound effect on my life. It speaks of the 12 Stages of Life based on so many accounts including folklore, studies of different cultures, psychology, sociology, among others that puts childhood and parenting in perspective of life’s stages that we all must make the most of.
MAYE YAO-CO SAY
chief operating officer, Richwell Philippines, Inc.
My vision for my children has always been to be happy and fulfilled adults. The book “The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness” by Edward M. Hallowell continually guides me through the five simple steps of Connection, Play, Practice, Mastery, and Recognition. I realized only now how important unconditional love is for kids, how play time is really work time for kids. Most of all, I love how the book taught me to expose my kids to more trial-and-error situations, rather than only acknowledging perfect deeds.
CATHERINE E. AQUINO
freelance realtor and housewife
The book, “The Five Love Languages of Children,” by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell helped me a lot. It made me realize that that I should “speak” the love language of my child so he or she feels truly loved and will not have to go elsewhere to look for it!
GLADYS REYES
TV host
The books that made an impact in my parenting life are entitled, “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and another one is called “Smart Parenting Book.” Both of them feature guidelines in parenting. These made me appreciate motherhood even more. Every time I see my three kids, the best experience yun and the time I gave birth to each one of them, I was really amazed. Hindi ako maka-get over sa feeling ng motherhood. It’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.
But the best pa rin is your first-hand experience and your own mom-style that you apply to your own kids. Also the guidance that you get from your mom and your mother-in-law. Those are the best tips that I got so far.
TONI ABAD
managing director, Media Room
I’ve read a lot of self-help books on the proper way of raising my children but I’ve only relied on the Holy Bible for instruction and guidance. There are many teachings in the book of Proverbs that helped me shape the moral compass of my children.
MICKEY FERRIOLS
actress
Actually, I’m more interested in audio books and articles that I read on social media about parenting, such as “Peaceful Parenting.” I really love reading it on Facebook. They post a lot of parenting techniques that do not involve spanking and yelling. It has made a difference in the way that I raise my eight-year-old son. When I was a new mom before, I thought disciplining him would entail yelling, when he is makulit or when he cries too much; but now that I’m reading “Peaceful Parenting,” I realized that everything that kids do, especially crying, is a sign that they have an unmet need. And then, kids who are makulit, let them be.
Talk to them and let them know that you’re listening. Hindi porke’t bata hindi mo na papansinin. Show them the importance of touching and hugging. Make them feel that you believe in them. Let them know that you love them, no matter what. And teach them the rules of the world like being kind and courteous. I have a son so I train him as early as now to be a gentleman because as the saying goes, “A man who treats his girl like a princess is proof that he was raised by a queen.”
CAT ANTONIO
part-time fashion stylist and interior designer
Having sold over ten million books, “What to Expect, The First Year” is a bestseller for a reason! The book’s main highlights are two. First, it is very structured, wherein each chapter represents each month after a child’s birth and discusses milestones. Second, it explains a very broad range of topics, from breastfeeding, bathing, comfort crying, diaper changing, giving milk, and many more.
It also gives basic tips not only to mothers, but also fathers. As a parent, this section is helpful when raising a child because you also need to see it from the parent’s perspective.
The book, however, advises parents to let babies “cry it out” as opposed to co-sleeping or other techniques that emphasize attachment parenting. My husband and I do the complete opposite! Child-rearing, like most things in life, reminds us that not everything is a science and set in stone. At the end of the day, each child is different. Like any parent, we will always want the best for our kids. So despite what the books recommend, we will go with whatever we feel seems right and it’s usually what works.
‘Child-rearing, like most things in life, reminds us that not everything is a science and set in stone. At the end of the day, each child is different. Like any parent, we will always want the best for our kids. So despite what the books recommend, we will go with whatever we feel seems right and it’s usually what works.’
- CAT ANTONIO
JANICE CRISOSTOMO-VILLANUEVA
Mompreneur
“The Birth Order Book” by Dr. Kevin Leman opened my eyes to how the order in which we are born into our families predisposes us to certain attitudes and influences the way we relate to people. Applying this knowledge when dealing with my kids helped me customize parenting to each of them.