2015-06-01

MARFAM, P.O.BOX 2881 RANDBURG 2125 TEL 011 462 7472 Toni Rowland Cel 0825521275 e info@marfam.org.za web www.marfam.org.za

2015 FAMILY THEME: Marriage and Family, Committed to Life and Love.

THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY FOR FAMILIES JUNE 2015, “COMMITTED TO YOUTH”

INTRODUCTION. Almost half of our population consists of young people under the age of 21. Their needs for love, care, support, education and meaningful employment as they set out to form their own future families demand commitment and skill from their families. Commitment on both sides is needed. Family relationship often go through a difficult time in these years. Children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord. Fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. Let your speech always be gracious , seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer every one. Col 3:20-21.4:6.

SETTING THE SCENE. Parent-youth relationships. Not Julius Malema nor the Minister of Higher Education nor the SA Govt, but Pope Benedict is calling on church and society. The reflections for this month are around a youth-family focus adopted by the PPCs in a number of parishes in Golden City deanery. Deacon Samuel took the programme under his wing to ensure that youth and parent relationships were uppermost all over as too often they are kept separate or in isolation. Scripture passages given are from the readings of the day as applied to the topic. Week 1 uses the story of Tobit and his family. It is recommended that the whole book of Tobit be read. The Beatitudes are the basis of reflection on further weekdays. We should involve young people directly in the life of society and of the Church so that they do not fall prey to feelings of frustration and rejection in the face of their inability to shape their own future, especially where they are vulnerable due to lack of education, unemployment, political exploitation and various kinds of addiction. AM62.

Reflect and pray about God’s message to you and your family today.

June 1st . There was a young adult group amongst the altar servers who used to meet on a Sunday evening with the parish deacon. Even though he was already quite elderly he had worked with this group for many years and they enjoyed the way he interacted with them. As he said, “I learnt that from my own kids over the years. It doesn’t help to preach and that’s hard for me of course, but I would love to listen and hear your views too. This week I invite you to read the stories from the book of Tobit, which is one of those only found in the Catholic bible. I think they have quite a lot to tell us about family life. For a start what do you guys think of the story in today’s scripture about inviting a poor relative to share your meal?” “My mom is the one who is always bringing stray relatives home. There are times when I resent it, but I can see the good in that too.” Deacon Samuel said to himself, “One thing I did manage to teach them is to be mindful of others in the family who have less than they have.” A good dinner was prepared for me and I sat down to eat. Upon seeing the abundance of food I said to my son, “go and bring whatever poor man of our brethren you may find among the exiles in Nineveh who is mindful of the Lord and he shall eat together with me. From Tobit 2:1-8

June 2nd . When Ephraim read the story of how Tobit became blind and had to be cared for he felt quite sad. A picture of those young people standing with the blind beggars at street corners around the suburbs came to mind. He’d been asked to do that at one time and refused. When his granny started losing her eyesight and eventually became blind he had a niggling feeling that this was a punishment for him so he volunteered to spend time with her and actually started enjoying the relationship they were building up as he came and read to her each week. For four years I was unable to see. All my kindred were sorry for me and Abilcar took care of me for two years until he went to Elymais. From Tobit 2:9-14.

June 3rd . St Charles Lwanga, St Kizito and Uganda martyrs. Some of the group had heard the story of the 22 Ugandan martyrs and the horrific and cruel ways in which they were killed at the command of the Bagandan ruler in the 1880s. Some were young boys, St Kizito was the youngest and another was the ruler’s own son. Some were officials at the court who disagreed with the ruler and protected some of the young pages from his homosexual demands. A particular facet of interest is that some of the boys and men were Anglican and some were Catholics. When Sarah had gone up to her father’s upper room, she intended to hang herself. But she thought it over and said, “Never shall they reproach my father, saying to him. “You only had one beloved daughter but she hanged herself because of her distress.” From Tobit Chapter 3.

June 4th . Deacon Samuel said, “ Now I want to ask you as young adults an important question. I presume you do sometimes think of marriage and not only of work, but what do you think of arranged marriages? Do you know of any? Do you think your parents are setting you up? In my family our parents did make arrangements with other families that they thought would benefit the families rather than the young people themselves.” “I know about that too. My dad even says, ‘you should love the one you marry, not marry the one you love.’ Maybe I should ask him why he says that.” Deacon encouraged them all to read the whole story in Tobit so they could discuss it at their next meeting. “It’s a really exciting story with a twist that you will find interesting.” “We must stay the night in the home of Raguel. He is your relative and he has a daughter named Sarah. He has no male heir and you as next of kin have before all other men a hereditary claim on her. Also it is right for you to inherit her father’s possessions. Moreover, the girl is sensible, brave and very beautiful and her father is a good man.” From Tobit chapter 6.

June 5th . Ephraim wasn’t the only one with a story to tell about caring for a blind person. Beauty was in 3rd year medical school studying ophthalmology but still enjoyed coming to the young adult group. She had been an altar server, at times a catechist for the little ones but during her last years at school had felt a calling to study medicine. “Not only religious life is a vocation,” she shared. “It was when I was doing practical work in remote villages that I saw many cases of glaucoma, something that could be treated and even prevented. Some of those old people are left on their own, some are living with family but I was impressed by one little girl of 14 who was living with her granny and looking after her. She is really the old lady’s life-saver. That’s what influenced my course of study.” “Take courage father.” With this he applied the medicine on his eyes. Next with both his hands he peeled off the white films from the corners of his eyes. Then he saw his son and embraced him and he wept and said, “Here I see my son, the light of my eyes!” From Tobit 11:5-15

June 6th . While they prepared for their weekly meeting the young adults shared some of their thoughts on the story of Tobit and Anna, Tobias and Sarah and the archangel Raphael. “What I liked best was how human the whole situation was. An old couple arguing, a young man being led into an arranged marriage….” “and how God was present to that family through all this.” “I hope that when I find the right man, we will be able to pray together too. I wonder how many of our parents pray before they have sex.” Did the group laugh with embarrassment or wonder or what? “When you and your daughter-in-law Sarah prayed I brought a reminder of your prayer before the Holy One, and when you buried the dead I was likewise present with you. I am Raphael, one of the seven holy angels who present the prayers of the saints and enter into the presence of the glory of the Lord. Write in a book everything that has happened to you.” From Tobit 12.

June 7th . Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ. B. Fr Joseph preached this sermon every year hoping they would remember. “This is one of the most important feasts in the Church because it teaches us about the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. I want to ask you whether you really do believe that as Catholics, or whether it is something you don’t really think about and take for granted. As a priest it is something that challenges me too. It helps me when I remind myself that God can also be present in the sacramental love relationship of marriage, which we should reverence much more than we do. To strengthen people’s faith there have been recognised miracles over the centuries of the bread and wine physically being changed in appearance to human flesh and blood. Science, when called to testify, confirmed what we have believed in faith and what the Catholic Church has taught for the last 2,000 years repeats the words of Jesus. As they were eating he took bread and blessed and broke it and gave it to them and said, “Take, this is my body.” And he took a chalice and when he had given thanks he gave it to them and they all drank of it. And he said to them, “this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many.” From Mark 14:12-26.

June 8th . Deacon Samuel had organised that there would be a session to prepare for Youth Day and for Father’s day so that it was possible to bring parents and youth together. Together with the youth they had chosen which of the beatitudes to focus on. He was intrigued when they suggested, “Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God.” At the session they had first divided the adults and the youth to share on the theme and later brought them together to listen to one another. At the end he invited them to continue the sharing at home. “Wow, I am pleased that the door was opened for us like this,” Portia commented, “I wouldn’t have dared to say what I wanted to about peace in our home. ” “It is really important for families to be able to communicate but difficult too. I’m glad it helped a little.” That was the general view and they genuinely wanted to continue the communication. “Thanks be to God!” Blessed are the peacemakers because they shall be called children of God. Mat 5:1-12

June 9th. “Why are salt and light always grouped together even in our minds. Have we absorbed that from the gospel without even knowing it?” Mark thought out loud. “Salt and light are kind of related to the senses: taste and sight, all important parts of life and how we are created. Salt is also for preserving food and light is necessary for growth. Isn’t God’s creation of humans and of nature extremely clever. How can people not believe in a creator?” “But one who calls on us to co-operate with creation and that’s certainly something our generation has to take very seriously. We’ve kind of got to fix what our parents messed me. Are we committed enough for that? You are the salt of the earth. You are the light of the world. Mat 5:13-16

June 10th . “If Moses was living in the 21st century what kind of laws would God be giving him?” It seemed a good idea to get the topic of law and obeying laws and rules onto the table in preparation for Youth Day. “Is there a difference between rules and laws other than the degree of punishment? Discuss at home: ‘if you were to change roles as parents and children would there be different rules in the house, about chores, drinking, drugs, going out and coming home times etc.?’” So they formulated a number of questions that could be discussed in preparation for Youth Day and the workshop to be led by one of the parents who happened to be a prosecutor in the High Court. After that the fun would start. “Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfil. Whoever obeys and teaches these commandments will be called greatest in the kingdom of heaven. From Matt 5:17-20

June 11th . Basil, Zola and Mary had never really known their father. When their mother became ill and died when little Mary was just 8 years old and Basil just 17 the children felt very lost. Their aunt who lived nearby took over some of the parenting but much of the time Basil found himself being the head of their little family. At first they were close but as time went by he found it was more and more difficult to control Zola. His brother had been a good student but got mixed up with bad friends and often bunked school. They drank and smoked and walked the streets until late at night. Like a real father Basil became very angry with his brother, but there were times when the boys fought. Basil knew this was not right but felt helpless so he decided to ask their priest to help him cope. If you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go, first be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift. From Matthew 5:20-26.

June 12th. They say,“like father, like son.” Mr Johnson was an attractive man who easily made friends with men and women alike. It was known in the community that he had relationships with other women. The family knew too but Mrs Johnson had chosen not to take action. However when she heard that young Billy was begin to follow in his father’s footsteps she did decide to do so. She went to see a counsellor who helped her to find a way to confront the situation. The counsellor was skilled in working with the family, not preaching or judging but helping them to face up to the reality and what this behaviour was doing to their family unity. You have heard it said, “you shall not commit adultery. But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matt 27-28

June 13th . St Anthony of Padua. “Giving names to children s a very cultural thing. Some families choose names of relatives, some just any name that sounds nice. In other cultures the name has significance related to the time of the birth. At baptism the Church expects babies to have a Christian or saint’s name. Children might explore who their name saint is. That was what Sibusiso Anthony Moloi did and he became fascinated by the story of St Anthony of Padua. “St. Anthony, please look around; something is lost and must be found.” That little prayer was his first thought and is believed to come from an incident when St Anthony himself prayed intensely for an important book he was using to be returned. Already as a young boy he was drawn to the religious life and joined the new congregation of the Franciscans back in1220, He wanted to be a missionary but his health was not good enough. He was shipwrecked and ended up in Italy working as a humble brother until by chance his preaching skills was discovered. That became his life’s work. Many people converted, turned from their sins and were reconciled with one another through him. A fellow monk found him one night in his room miraculously holding the baby Jesus. That is how we often see him portrayed. His intense love for Jesus can be a real model for all the Anthonys and Antonettes. “The joy of the Gospel fills the hearts and lives of all who encounter Jesus. Those who accept his offer of salvation are set free from sin, sorrow, inner emptiness and loneliness. With Christ joy is constantly born anew.” EG Pope Francis,

June 14th. Sunday 11B. “Growing is something that all young people are concerned about, isn’t it.?” “But how we grow and what the end result is also matters.” “I can relate better to where Jesus talked about the Kingdom of God as something that is planted, grows, reaches maturity and is harvested, then about the little mustard seed that grows into a great big bush. Why? Because I battle with my size. I don’t want to be enormous.” “You’re kind of right I suppose. Controlled seems like a good idea.” “But is that God’s will?” This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man throws seed on the land, night and day it is growing. When the crop is ready he starts to reap. The mustard seed is the smallest of all the seeds yet once it is sown it grows into the biggest shrug of them all. From Mark 4:26-34

June 15th . “Why did Jesus make such difficult statements,” Maysie asked her mother. “Surely if someone hurts me I’ve got a right to defend myself or fight back?” “I agree, Jesus made many difficult statements in this “blueprint” for a new kingdom. We do find them difficult but he is proposing an ideal society to aim for.” An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. I say “Do not resist one who is evil.” If anyone strikes you on the right cheek turn to him the other also and if anyone would see you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well. Matt 5:38-42

June 16th . Youth Day SA. Every year on this day the different youth groups, altar servers, choirs, Children of Mary, young adults, and confirmation candidates organised an event and invited the rest of the parish youth who were not actively involved to join them. There had to be music and dancing of course but because of a number of problems that had been experienced in the area they decided to have a workshop too on Youth and the Law to be presented by one of the dads, a prosecutor in the High Court. They had already prepared for this through discussion in their groups and families that made it more exciting because they wanted to know the law and to challenge the law but the parents were also interested in that part of the proceedings and their aim was to know the law and how it could support them. The most interesting part was how the Law or Spirit of the Kingdom would be able to come across. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good. Matt 5:43-48

June 17th . “Now girls, no showing off any more.” The boys teased the girls mostly about how they looked but the girls challenged the guys on how they acted. “Remember the singer Jub Jub, he was a real show-off and where did that get him; jail for killing innocent schoolchildren with his street drag racing.” It’s the same in church. Some people go to show how holy they are but are they really? Let’s take this really seriously because it also concerns a reward in heaven.” Beware of practising your piety before men in order to be seen by them. For then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. From Matthew 6

June 18th. “This way of praying is becoming one of my pet hates,” Georgina declared, “empty phrases, words that have lost their meaning. We seem to just babble on. I think we’ve fallen into the same trap that Jesus warned us about. It does worry me but when my friends from the Pentecostal church pray they seem to talk about real things.” “I have discovered that if I slow down and think about the phrases they’re not nearly as empty as all that, but I can apply them to my situation. But the one about forgiving others is one that catches me every time I do think about it.” When you pray do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do for they think they will be heard for their many words.” Say ‘Our Father……..’Matthew 6:7-15.

June 19th . “I came across a really nice African saying the other day that reminded me of the words of Jesus. “A loving heart is the truest wisdom.” from Dickens. “For some of us books are a treasure, for others education, or friends, or working hard for success. I wonder for how many of us, our families and looking forward one day to have a happy family is a treasure.” “That’s all still too far away.” “Unfortunately, yes.” Where your treasure is there will your heart be also. Matthew 6:21

June 20th. While waiting for Mass to start Joan and Paula were chatting. “Some people are really amazing the way they trust in God. I listen to the prayers on the radio sometimes and wonder if people really believe, or do they hope for what they pray for without expecting that the answer will be what they wanted.” “Does trust in God and his constant care come naturally or does it have to be cultivated? Let’s go ask that old man. He’s had enough experience.” “What did the old man say?” “Go ask a little child.” “I guess there is no simple answer.”

Do not be anxious about your life. Consider the lilies of the field. From Matt 6:24-34

June 21st . Sunday 12B. Fathers’ Day. Fr Joseph asked the children, “Do I look like a good strong father, the kind of person you could look up to? Would you like to have such a father?” Speaking to the whole congregation he said, “ We believe that every child has a right to have a father and would like to have a father. However you know that not every child does have a father at home and not every father is the kind of person they can look up to? Some fathers are good and kind, others are cruel. Just like grandfathers, or mothers. Our families are made up of all kinds of people and it is often said, “You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family.” One thing is for sure. God, our Father is a model for all fathers and the relationship between Jesus and his Father was a perfect relationship of love and trust. No one should be afraid of their father because fear can destroy the relationship. Today, let us thank God for the gift of fatherhood, for those fathers who do care for their children. May God bless every father, young or old and encourage them to always be there for their children. Jesus was asleep in the boat and they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care if we perish?” and he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea. The wind ceased and there was a great calm. He said to them. “Why are you afraid?” Have you no faith?” From Mark 4:35-41

June 22nd. Deacon Samuel had set up a meeting with the confirmation group and their parents to discuss some issues and also help them to talk to one another. “Do so many protests around problems in education mean that we are judging whoever is responsible and do we have right to do that?” “Yes, of course” came back many answers. “OK now take that into your families. Young people do you “protest” about things at home? Parents do you “protest” from your own perspective?” That could have led to some tough issues but he let Mme Ndlovu pull it together. “There is a difference between judging and critically addressing rights and how it is done is also important. It might be a fine line but as we grow into adulthood it is one that we need to learn to follow.” “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged and the measure you give will be the measure you get. From Matt 7:1-5

June 23rd. “Is bullying more of an issue in high school or in the younger years?” Mrs Petzer asked her teenage children. “It takes different forms at different ages and can also be more psychologically subtle as the kids grow older. I didn’t ever tell you much about it, but in grade 10 there was another girl who told stories about me that weren’t even true. That is also bullying and was jolly hurtful because it affected how others treated me.” “Bullying is real cruelty at any age and says much about the bully. Is the answer for someone stronger than the bulliesto do the same to them or is there another way?” Whatever you wish that men would do to you, do so to them. Matt 7:12

June 24th. Birth of John the Baptist. One way to study a gospel is in bite-sized pieces as Fr Vince is trying to do for some youth.

3rd Dec 2014: John was born of old parents; his father was a priest. God’s angel told Zechariah when he was working in the temple that his son was to be born. He didn’t believe. Luke 1: 5-19.

7th Dec 2014: John was to be mighty & strong, like Elijah the prophet of old; John’s life work was to make people ready for God: to bring sinful people back to God. Luke 1: 16-17.

13th Dec 2014: Of course it was the Spirit of God who inspired Zech, John’s father. He said that people would begin to serve God & be holy, all their days. Wow! That’s new! Luke 1:68-79.

15th Dec 2014: Zech. new song was: “God is merciful, tender & brings peace.” It was strange to hear it so clearly – like the sun just came up for the first time! Luke 1: 78-79.

June 25th. “When my grandparents built their house near the river everyone said to them that’s stupid. Your house will get washed away if there is a flood. They knew that but also realised that having to fetch water from the river every day was going to be a lot easier if they were close by. So my grandfather said to be really wise you have to know how to balance your options. The house was flooded twice and they didn’t even have insurance in those days. I want to be an actuary when I finish school. I have heard they do a lot of balancing and judging and predicting reasonable outcomes.” “You need to be really clever on top of being wise to study that,” Charles said, “but a good dose of common sense also helps.” “Everyone who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock and the rain fell and the floods came and the winds blew and beat upon that house but it did not fall because it had been founded on the rock. From Matt 7:21-29.

June 26th.The youth were discussing going to different churches to hear different preachers. Many of their parents were worried about the youth flitting about and not being faithful to their own religion. They asked themselves, “Is it about a good preacher, exciting services with lively music, or a welcoming atmosphere, or even the promise of miracles that makes people, especially the youth leave the Church? Who knows and what can be done?” “Jesus must have been a very great preacher. He wasn’t the only one around at that time but people realised that there was something different about him. The Sermon on the Mount as we know it wasn’t exactly a feel-good one. It was full of challenging and even confrontational statements but the people hung on his words. Did they take his message to heart as we should do in our day too? But then why was there a healing at the end of that episode?” When Jesus came down from the mountain great crowds followed him and behold a leper came to him and said, Lord if you will, you can make me clean.” Mat 8:1-4

June 27th. “When people are sick or in need they will often go to great lengths for help. We know of the South Africans who went to Nigeria only because of the disaster when the building collapsed and many died. You young people have just been confirmed and renewed the commitment to your faith made by your parents and godparents on your behalf. What does that commitment mean to you? Is your faith built on Jesus and a relationship of trust and love or is it about getting your problems solved? God the ultimate problem-solver, who operates in different ways in different places and situations and we can shop around for the best deal? But it isn’t only young people who do that. Amongst hose who went to Nigeria are adult members of our Church too. It saddens me to see that. I believe it saddens Jesus too. Will they be punished for their unfaithfulness as Jesus threatened the Jewish people? “ Those harsh words from the bishop on his return visit to the parish made people squirm in their seats, but it hit home. I tell you solemnly many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness, here me will weep and gnash their teeth. Matt 8:11-15

June 28th . Sunday 13 B. Fr Joseph had invited the youth to a special Mass at the end of their special month. He wanted to know what the different talks, reflections and discussions had done for them. Did they feel criticised or energised, encouraged or frustrated with their church and their faith? “I know this is a very serious question I have to ask. In the theme of the Mass today we learn that “God is the God of life, on the side of life and not of death. God wants us to have a full life, not just having lots of fun, but also to grow and develop as persons with goals and hopes and dreams that become a reality. Are you growing closer to God and to those around you? So is your faith enhancing your life? Please think about that and please share on that with your families as a special gift to one another. God did not make death and he does not delight in the death of the living. For he created all things that they might exist and the creatures of the world are wholesome. Wisdom 1:13-15.

June 29th . St Peter and St Paul. “I remember a silly childish rhyme we used to say. ‘Two little dickey birds sitting on a wall, one name Peter the other named Paul. Fly away Peter, fly away Paul. Come back Peter, come back Paul. ‘ I suppose that helped me too to link these two saints with each other right from when I was small. They weren’t brothers and at times no even friends but they each had their particular role to play in building up the Church in those very early days; Peter with the Jews and Paul with those who were not Jews, the Gentiles. Have we thought about playing a role in the church and in the world too?” Martin said. “And starting with our families as you have taught us,” Pauline added. The Good News I preached is not some human message that I was given by men, it is something I learnt only through a revelation of Jesus Christ. 1 Gal 11.

June 30th . It’s quite interesting to end this month with looking at how guys and girls, men and women behave. From childhood up boys and girls are different and act differently. The Old Testament is pretty chauvinistic and almost always make men the leaders. Some stories about the women are enlightening. We’ve probably heard about Lot and his wife and the destruction of the wicked cities of Sodom and Gomorrah as told in Genesis. Lot negotiated a deal not having to flee too far. Then they were warned not to look back. As they were escaping the fire and destruction Lot’s wife did stop and look back and so she was punished and turned into a pillar of salt. Women will always be more inquisitive, right? But was that really fair?” The Lord overthew those cities with the inhabitants and the produce of the soil. But Lot’s wife looked back and she was turned into a pillar of salt. Read from Gen 19:15-29.

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