THE YEAR OF MERCY AND THE FAMILY, BUILDING HOMES OF MERCIFUL LOVE
FAMILY ADVENT and CHRISTMAS PRACTICES and TRADITIONS
There are many Advent and Christmas traditions from different countries to be found in South Africa. They are mainly from European countries brought by missionaries and immigrant families. Some have been adopted locally such as the Advent wreath and Jesse tree. They can all become part of a family’s Advent programme and need not just be something we see in church. Even the Christmas tree and Santa Claus are imports and are very much part of the more commercial side of Christmas and as we well know they involve a lot of getting as well as giving. Advent calendars too can be bought and most often come with a chocolate or a sweet for each day. Should these not be a reward for a good deed done on that day? Not many local traditions and practices have developed yet and there are only a few truly indigenous Christmas carols. While more money than most of us can afford is spent on buying stuff, it is in making, baking, praying and sharing that families at home can have fun, build family unity and get into the spirit of things as we try to remember that JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON.
MARFAM has produced many different Advent and Christmas programmes over the last 20 years. There are stories, activities, pictures to colour and decorations to be made. Reflections tend to link with scripture or themes such as hope, joy and peace for reflection, sharing and ideally passing on. Some booklets and stories are aimed at families with children but the season is equally meaningfully to families of older persons, whose children and grandchildren may have moved away. 2015 Advent and Christmas reflections are built into the THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY for December and also incorporate the YEAR OF MERCY. 
There are many beautiful hymns and songs for Advent and Christmas sung by any number of choirs and soloists at concerts or recorded, but through overexposure they can also lose much of their meaning. It is sad however, how seldom stories are told and carols are sung at home in a devotional atmosphere.
This year it is hoped that some of the suggestions below can add a little to the message of God’s mercy and our response that is already being incorporated into Christmas of 2015.
THINGS TO MAKE AND DO:
All these activities could be accompanied by reading a story, singing, sharing and prayer.
THE ADVENT WREATH.
Most Churches nowadays have an Advent wreath on the altar and families too can make their own. At home it can be a table centrepiece during Advent with its round ring, plain green foliage, 3 purple and 1 pink candle to be lit one after another during the 4 weeks of Advent. A 5th white candle can be the Christ candle at Christmas. Families can choose a suitable time e.g. family meal times, when saying grace, reading a story, singing a song or before night prayers. The prayers for each week given below or other suitable prayers and readings can be used. Themes of expectation, repentance, joy and Mary’s commitment can also be developed weekly. Information about its origin and how to make a wreath can be googled.
A READING FROM ISAIAH 60:19-20. No longer shall the sun be your light by day, Nor the brightness of the moon shine upon you at night; The Lord shall be you light forever, your God shall be your glory. No longer shall your sun go down or your moon withdraw for the Lord will be your light forever, and the days of your mourning shall be at an end.
BLESSING PRAYER: God bless our wreath and be with us as we prepare for the coming of Christ in our hearts and in our home. As we light the candles each day, help us to remember to keep our hearts and lives lit with your merciful love. Amen.
WEEK ONE: Holy Father, we light this first Advent candle, a symbol of our preparation for the birth of your son at Christmas. We pray for our children, that they may be happy, healthy, safe, loving and excited about life, and we ask you to remember all those children who have been hurt and neglected by others, who are lonely and in need of your merciful love and ours. Bring your healing light into their world.
WEEK TWO: Holy Father, as we prepare for the birth of your son this Christmas, we light this second Advent candle and we pray for the elderly people in our family, that they may be happy, healthy, joyful and fulfilled, and we ask you to remember all those elderly people who have been neglected and isolated by their friends and families, who are lonely, despondent and anxious, and who are in need of your merciful love and ours. Bring your healing light into their world.
WEEK THREE: Holy Father, as we light this third Advent candle, we pray for all the members of our family, that they may achieve their life goals, be fulfilled and happy both within themselves and in their relationships. We ask you to remember all those people who are isolated and afraid, those who have been hurt and are lonely, despairing and in need of your merciful love and ours. Bring your healing light into their world.
WEEK FOUR: Holy Father, as we light this fourth Advent candle, we pray for ourselves that we may always be aware of the needs and hurts of those around us, and that we may have the strength to reach out to others with your merciful love. We ask you to remember all those people who have dedicated their time to reaching out to the lonely and the sad. We rejoice in their giving, and pray that your merciful and healing light may continue to shine through them.
A JESSE TREE.
This activity is named after Jesse, the father of King David. The prophet Isaiah speaks of the Messiah as the shoot of the stock of Jesse. The activity focuses on the ancestors of Jesus and the message that each brings to us. Scripture passages about many different Old Testament characters are read and a symbol for each character is hung on the tree. Characters can include Adam and Eve, Noah, Abraham, Jacob and his 12 sons, Joseph, Moses, David, Solomon, the prophets Elijah and Isaiah, Daniel.
A bare Christmas tree without any the decorations can be used. On Christmas eve the brightly coloured Christmas decorations can be added. Contact MARFAM for images and stories of the biblical characters.
Rowland Christmas crib
PREPARING A CRIB.
The crib or a whole Nativity set is a central symbol for the Christmas event. St Francis of Assisi is believed to have made the first Christmas crib and there is even a story of a miracle surrounding this. It is said that when he made the crib a live baby miraculously appeared. Through this he showed people that Jesus was born poor, homeless, without even a bed of His own.
A crib at home can act as a reminder of the real meaning of Christmas. Nativity sets are expensive to buy but last a life-time, ours, in the Rowland family, is over 60 years old. Another possibility is to put up a beautiful picture of the nativity scene and maybe make a little crib to stand in front. At the beginning of Advent the crib is empty but as family members do good deeds they can add a piece of straw for each good deed and then by the end of Advent these should form a comfortable little bed of hay for the baby Jesus to lie on. The empty crib can be a part of the Advent setting together with the Advent wreath and/or Jesse tree. Cribs can be made from ice-cream or other sticks, and a small baby doll used for the baby Jesus.
A PROMISE BRANCH.
Advent is also a season of promise. We come to know God’s promises through the promises we make and keep to one another. On December 16th in South Africa we also celebrate the Day of Reconciliation which used to be known as the Day of the Vow. We could consider what making a vow or a promise really means.
Family members make promises to one another about specific acts they will do and add symbols depicting those promises. For example – I promise to write a long over-due letter so hang up a pen. A price tag can be a promise to take younger members of the family shopping, a sock to show a promise to do the family washing, etc. Members can write down their promises and hang the papers on the tree. The promises can be made and shared within a short time of prayer or built into a prayer meal. REQUIREMENTS. A bare branch in a pot. Paper or symbols
SHELTER SEEKING.
This old custom probably originated in Austria and has been brought to South Africa by the Schoenstatt Family Movement. Shelter seeking is a novena in preparation for Christ’s coming. For nine days the statue of the Blessed Mother is brought to different homes where it is welcomed by the family with scripture reading, story, song and prayer. On the final night of Shelter Seeking families are invited to come together at a Shrine of Our Lady of Schoenstatt or other suitable place.
Shelter seeking reminds us of Mary and Joseph looking for shelter when Jesus was about to be born. At Bethlehem “there was no room for them in the inn.” Shelter seeking also reminds us of Christ’s coming into our world today. Will he find shelter, and with us? It is particularly apt at this time at the beginning of the Jubilee Year of Mercy and the presence of so many homeless people and refugees. In Biblical times a jubilee year was celebrated every 50 years as an opportunity for the people to begin anew. Debts were cancelled, slaves set free and land restored.
CAROL SINGING – Carol Service, Nativity Tableau or Play.
We are inclined to reserve carols for listening to in shopping centres while we do our Christmas shopping, school concerts and parish services or a general “Carols by Candlelight” Often by the time Christmas arrives we are sick of hearing carols, but in fact Advent hymns should really be sung before and carols after Christmas. Families can have their own “Carols by candlelight” either singing, making music with home-made instruments like bells, shakers and clappers, or listening to Christmas music both before but especially at Christmas and in the days after Christmas once the baby Jesus has arrived and we can sing to Him and His family.
BLESSING OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE.
There are many legends about the Christmas tree but in essence the fir tree being an evergreen tree symbolises God’s everlasting love. Being winter in the northern hemispere there would be snow resting on the branches and these sparkling in the moonlight are a reminder of Jesus, the light of the world. When decorated the tree is ablaze with light and colour. A simple blessing prayer contains these thoughts.
“Heavenly Father we ask you to bless this tree, a symbol of everlasting life and of the light that Your Son Jesus came to bring into the world. May our Christmas be an experience of love and unity and may we bring the light of Jesus to others.”
MORE SUGGESTIONS FOR DOING IT TOGETHER.
FAMILY FAST DAY. Have only 1 simple meal and give money saved to the poor.
FAMILY PRAYER MEAL. Contact MARFAM for script.
FAMILY RECONCILIATION TIME. Contact MARFAM for script based on the Our Father.
BAKING: As a family do some baking or cooking together. Make Christmas cookies, cup cakes, gingerbread men, Father Christmas cookies, mince pies etc.
PLAY DOUGH/FLOUR CLAY: 3 cups of flour, 1cup salt, about 1 cup of water. Mix flour and salt and add water gradually until the dough holds together without being crumbly or sticky. This dough can be used in the Jesse tree activity, to mould the shape of the family tree, some of the symbols, or to make shapes and figures to use as decorations.
PUZZLES. Make a CHRISTMAS WORD PUZZLE. Use squared paper, write the word CHRISTMAS in the middle. Let each family member add words.
MAKING CARDS, TAGS AND DECORATIONS. Use paper, glue, crayons, cokis, paint, wrapping paper, old Christmas cards, ribbons etc. Examples, paper chains,
MAKING CHRISTMAS STORY BOOKS: A wonderful Advent activity is for a family to use old Christmas cards (if they can still find some) cut them out and paste into home-made story books for distribution to hospitals, children’s homes or other needy children. The text below can be used and illustrated. Cut up the sections or rewrite next to the pictures. Nowadays of course there many online versions or messages on cellphones are sent to friends and family, accompanied with beautiful scenes and music, but these are seldom printed out to keep.
A CHRISTMAS STORY
A long time ago in Israel began the story that we now tell.
Mary, a maiden young and fair was talking to God one day in prayer
when He sent His angel to that place and the angel said “Hail Mary, full of grace
the Lord is with thee, I’m sent to ask if you will please fulfill the task
of being mother to God’s own son.” Said Mary,who loved God-“Your will be done.”
She began to prepare for the coming event to welcome the baby whom God would send.
A few months later the emperor of Rome said every family was to go home
to the town where they came from and write down their name. Joseph and Mary from Bethlehem came,
so they set out to make the long journey there and Joseph helped with most tender care.
They came to Bethlehem late in the day and stopped to enquire at each inn on the way
for a place to eat and a place to rest but all were full up from the worst to the best.
Eventually when they were near to despair they found an old stable cold and bare.
Mary lay down on a bed of hay and the night seemed suddenly as bright as day
for angels were everywhere praising and singing and it seemed as if thousands of bells were ringing
for God’s own Son was born that night to bring peace to earth and make all things right.
A star shone above in the midnight sky and shepherds awoke and wondered why
till angels appeared and called out to them to come and adore the babe of Bethlehem.
Three eastern wise men also came from afar and traveled to Bethlehem led by the star.
They brought with them gifts to offer the King. Now we too our offerings to Him want to bring.
We give you ourselves, please take us, please do, for in making You happy, we’ll be happy too.
To everyone, in every place, of every colour and every race
the Christmas message of love and joy is a sign of hope to each girl and boy.
A FAMILY PENITENTIAL SERVICE.
Parishes have penitential services and Catholics are encouraged to go to confession. It is very valuable for a time of Reconciliation at home, also including members who are not Catholic.At Christmas time it is helpful and even necessary to consider what it means to be human; to accept the holiness of our ordinary life and also the fact that we make mistakes. Failure does not last forever. God is ready to forgive and we should ask for His forgiveness. At the same time probably the greatest need for forgiving and for being forgiven is within our families and we can and should ask each other for forgiveness and grant each other forgiveness.
LEADER: In the name of the Father….. ALL: Amen.
LEADER: Let us turn to God and offer him all the good things we have done and ask him to forgive us for the things we have done wrong to Him and to each other.
Let us pray…… Lord, we are sorry that we have not loved enough. We know you love us. Teach us to show merciful love to one another and to forgive as you forgive us. We ask this through Your Son Jesus who lives with You and the Holy Spirit.
ALL: Amen.
READER: MARK 11:25
Jesus said,” when you stand and pray, forgive anything you may have against anyone, so that your Father in heaven will forgive the wrongs you have done.” (Pause for a short personal reflection)
Not everyone may have failed in each of the ways listed. The leader could read them out and members could respond as they believe it applies to them. Members could also mention their own personal failings.
LEADER: Let us now ask God to forgive us.
For not being kind and helpful……
REPONSE: Forgive me, Lord.
LEADER: For not always telling the truth……..
For quarrelling, fighting and teasing……..
For not controlling my temper………….
For wanting everything for myself and not being willing to share………
For not being kind to the people I don’t like………
For not doing what I was asked or told…………
…………………..
Let us now also ask each other for forgiveness.
Prayerfully think about something you have done that hurt another member of the family and for which you are sorry. (Optional: You are then asked to go to that person and say, “Please forgive me for hurting you by ………………….. ” The person is asked to listen carefully, think about the situation and could then respond ” I forgive you.” )
This process may take some time. When everyone is ready and after some quiet reflection all together say “Our Father…………..”
LEADER: Thank you Heavenly Father for the gift of our family and the gift of mercy, love and forgiveness that can bring us back to closeness with each other again. Help us to serve each other with merciful love and to do your will here on earth.
ALL: Amen.
A song could be played or sung to conclude the service.
THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS. Also see MARFAM’s THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY and MERCY MINUTES.
Even though the shops clear away their Christmas goodies the very next day, the Christmas season actually lasts until the feast of the Ephipany, also known as 12th Night which is celebrated on the Sunday after New Year’s Day, so that the time is usually not a full 12 days. Suggestions for celebrating the twelve days:
December 25th – Christmas Day. This is the special day on which more people go to Church than on any other day of the year and many go to more than one Mass as in Catholic churches three different Masses are celebrated, Midnight Mass, Mass at dawn and Mass during the day. Each Mass focuses on different aspects of the mystery of the incarnation and the passage from Isaiah read during the 3rd Mass “How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, announcing peace proclaiming news of happiness, OUR GOD REIGNS” is the core of the Christmas message.
December 26th. Feast of St Stephen the first Martyr. In the Acts of the Apostles the story is told how while he was being stoned to death he prayed, rejoicing and praising God. The Christmas carol Good King Wenceslas belongs on this day and is a special example of mercy. He gave to the poor and we having enjoyed all the food and sweets at Christmas could do something special for the poor.
December 27th. Feast of St John, the beloved disciple. Remember those who loved us by giving us presents and write your thank you letters as a token of appreciation.
December 28th. Feast of the Holy Innocents. Read the story in Matthew chapter 2 of king Herod, and his jealousy and how he ordered innocent babies to be killed. Pray for an outpouring of mercy, for all the innocent children who are killed, and pray too for their parents. Pray for the many children who are refugees as a result of war. Remember especially the unborn babies killed through abortion and pray too for their mothers and fathers.
Holy family Sunday. Each family is called to be a Holy Family like the family of Mary, Joseph and Jesus. If possible spend the day together as a family, pray for each member of the family individually and thank God for them and their specialness.
December 30th. Help with the shopping and preparation for New Year.
December 31st. Together review the old year thank God for all the blessings received and make some New Year’s Resolutions. Be conscious too of the negative, unhappy or sad things that have happened and pray for mercy, acceptance and healing.
January 1st New Year’s Day and also the Feast of Mary, the Mother of God. Honour Mary by making the mothers in the family feel special. It is also the World Day of prayer for peace. Pray especially that Mary will be an inspiration to mothers to be the bringers of peace into the world.
January 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, Rest, tidy up and keep up your New Year’s resolution. If this is still holiday time spend it with friends or family members you haven’t seen sharing on of the good times you have had.
Feast of the Epiphany, the manifestation of Jesus. Jesus revealed Himself as God of all humankind. Pray especially for mercy and a religious tolerance among the different Christian and non-Christian religions. Tidy away all the Christmas decorations until next year. Save any Christmas cards or materials to be used again year by year. Toni Rowland. Advent 2015.