MARFAM’S FAMILY MATTERS – FEBRUARY 2015
2015 THEME: Marriage and Family, committed to love and life. February theme: committed to love
MARFAM – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RENEWAL MINISTRY – NPO 103-814. Communicate with us www.marfam.org.za facebook or info@marfam.org.za
Family Matters Printable Version
The Joy of the Gospel. Celebrating at the ordination of Bishop Victor Hlolo Phalana
CONTENTS:
Reflection: Happy Valentine, Happy Lent Charlie
MARFAM
News:
Article: Commitment is…
Reflection Poem: 40 Crosses and More
SACBC Family Life Desk News and activities,
2015 Family theme February: Committed to love
BITS AND BYTES
CORRESPONDENCE
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY for January
FINALLY … Love is………
“Family ministry is strengthening the living of Jesus’ message in the home as a light to all.” 2011 Family Leaders Conference
EDITORIAL : Happy Valentine, Happy Lent Charlie,
When on that fateful day, 7 January, I first caught sight of the JESUIS CHARLIE images on my TV, not being familiar with French, I said to myself, ”JESUS – CHARLIE where is the connection?” As time went by that question tickled my imagination. Was and is Jesus a “proper Charlie” as the saying goes, some kind of fool expecting his followers to “love one another as I have loved you” even one’s enemies and to repent and sacrifice? How is that message of Jesus accepted today? How is the February “committed to love” theme to be lived out? Valentine evokes those great warm fuzzy feelings while Lent is somehow more a time of cold crosses.
January has been quite a month as we can rightly say. The attacks and violence in France, Nigeria and many other countries across the world have been put before us constantly to the point of battle-fatigue. In the last week possible xenophobia has surfaced again in South Africa too with lootings of foreign-owned shops. These shops in poorer parts of townships are a boon to the poor who have no means of transport, but there is also strong resentment from locals and it takes just a small spark to start a conflagration. Lack of acceptance of what is other than ourselves, jealousy and resentment about inequality and towards those who have more than we do is growing and is one of the causes of world-wide violence. Illegal land grabbing as a political party policy cannot but be a violent act. The form and degree of violence experienced is extremely problematical in a number of cases.
There are many facets to the current situation. The march of the millions in Paris for freedom of speech is one. Another is our calling as Christians and so too Christian families to be countercultural, to be committed to love one another including one’s enemies. God is love and our calling is to love God and neighbour. It is my view however that in order to truly love others one does have to have an experience of human love, to have felt some of the emotions, passion, compassion, motherly love, fatherly love, filial love, the companionship of friendship. These are God’s attributes too and the foundation for his mercy as Cardinal Kasper writes in his book MERCY. Doing good in a philanthropic way clearly does include care for others but if one truly loves is it possible to do the kind of harm that we do to one another?
Our human sexuality is a gift for love. Couples, young and old, need to experience the romantic Valentine love too. It is certainly at the heart of marriage where it must be cherished and maintained. When Lent begins just a few days after Valentine’s Day this love must still be maintained and cherished, with all family relationships being part of the commitment to love. Let there be no abuse or domestic violence this Lent. Let the commitment to love flow over into society, with reflection on the lack of love that does exist. Like St Francis let us be fools for Jesus, proper Charlies if necessary. The words of this old wedding blessing say it well. “You are about to enter in a relationship which is most sacred and most serious. Love demands sacrifice. Sacrifice is often difficult and irksome but love can make sacrifice possible and perfect love can even make sacrifice a joy.”
Toni Rowland
PS A definition of a proper Charlie. Someone who is unintelligent, stupid or silly, a fool.
MARFAM NEWS.
January got off to rather a slow start, being with family on holiday over New Year and continuing to pursue the same objectives as in December, i.e. getting the January-March reflections out and pursuing debts. Tithing is not a Catholic tradition as is expected in some other churches, but on top of planned giving or parish support small organisations like MARFAM do need financial support. Debit orders, advertising or donations are needed to allow us to continue to operate.
We have begun to work on the electronic side and maybe some readers will have been picking up, liking and sharing the daily reflections on face book recently.
Family life should still be high on the Church’s agenda with another Synod in October and the ongoing 2014-2016 SACBC FOCUS ON FAMILIES. But it can’t just be talk. Resource materials by way of support are needed from families and laity as well as priests, religious and bishops.
MINI SURVEY.
I am conducting a minisurvey about the use of this e-newsletter and would appreciate your response to these questions:
Do you read the whole or skim through the FAMILY MATTERS e-newsletter?
Do you read it on line, or print it out?
Do you access the marfam website and if so for what?
How can the e-newsletter become more user-friendly or interesting?
Is Family Matters e-newsletter too long? What could be left out?
CURRENT FAMILY PUBLICATIONS. www.marfam.org.za.
With Lent coming up this month THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY for January – March is still being distributed. It contains Lenten reflections on MEETING JESUS IN THE MASS. Liturgical readings of the day are mainly used with short life-oriented stories to promote faith sharing with a family focus. English reflections are published on the website and short extracts posted on facebook from time to time.
OTHER LENTEN PROGRAMMES.
MARRIAGE AND THE PASCHAL MYSTERY one of a number of faith sharing booklets from MARFAM for Lent and this one focusing on marriage. Cost R15. PIC
STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR FAMILIES in English, Afrikaans, Zulu, Sotho, Tswana. Cost R5
STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR THE WIDOWED in English, Afrikaans, zulu, Sotho, Tswana Cost R5
2015 Family Year Planner. This Family Life Desk resource is available with an overview of the monthly themes. See price and order list on the website. Download overview from www.marfam.org.za as a pdf doc and offer together with the calendars. Its best use is as a Family Year Planner with all the important family dates noted so that it becomes a liturgical calendar for a family and their little church of the home to be used for faith sharing and family prayer.
FAMILY MATTERS magazine No 3/2014, 20th anniversary edition is still available @ R10. Magazine No 1 /2015 will be available in February.
ARTICLE OF THE MONTH: Commitment is….
POEM: 40 Crosses and More.
NEWS FROM THE SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK.
for more visit familydesk.sacbc.org.za and see www.marfam.org.za for links to family movements.
2015 THEME: marriage and family, committed to love and life.
FEBRUARY: Committed to Love. From THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, FOR FAMILIES Love is a feeling but much more than that. “Love is a decision” is a well-known saying. Commitment to love does include the Valentine view of romantic love of the young but romance should be a part of mature relationships too. The intimacy of marriage in good times and in bad and the patient and enduring love in times of difficulty all require decisions. Love in its different forms is the foundation for all relationships within families and beyond. These things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete. This is my commandment. Love one another as I have loved you. John15:11-12
A selection of reflections is published on the website in English and some translations are emailed out when available.
JANUARY : Committed to a Good Start
FEBRUARY : Committed to Love
MARCH : Committed to Promoting Family Rights
APRIL : Committed to God and Faith
MAY : Committed to Life and Parenthood
JUNE : Committed to the Youth
JULY : Committed to the Elderly
AUGUST : Committed to Women, Men and Relationships
SEPTEMBER : Committed to Marriage
OCTOBER : Committed to Marriage and Mission
NOVEMBER : Committed to Those experiencing Loss
DECEMBER : Committed to Those experiencing Loss
A new family-friendly bishop: Victor Hlolo Phalane, being presented by Archbishop Slattery
ACTIVITIES
2014-2016 FOCUS ON FAMILIES.
This focus of the bishops remains a priority along with the theme of the Year of Consecrated Life. An opportunity to make a presentation to the Leadership Conference of Sacred Heart Sodality was welcomed. Each delegate from a diocese should take the message home and promote the concepts in their own community. We await the feedback from the groups with interest.
Some parishes have bought the Family Year Planners in bulk as a gift to parishioners to promote their use for prayer and sharing. One priest even challenged the families to mark up their baptism anniversary. How many people remember that?
The 2015 theme takes into consideration the bishops’ May month for Family and Life and the Marriage Awareness campaign from weeks 21-27 of Year B. (23 August to 3rd October.) Special resources will be made available.
The Family Prayer card has been very widely distributed and can still be ordered at R1 each for minimum orders of 100. An updated resource leaflet for Family Days in 2015 will be prepared, also noting some events from other areas.
Green bracelets, family candles, having a pilgrim cross moving from family to family week by week are suggestions.
PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY programmes offer an orientation in the vision of a family-centred church, focusing on the Church as Family and Family as Church. There is a handbook and training manual.
Toni Rowland will be retiring shortly but Family Life Desk restructuring is still being discussed. See further notices on the Family Desk website.
FUTURE FAMILY MINISTRY EVENTS AND OTHER NOTICES: Contact 082 5521275 for details or requests.
Parish Family Ministry Weekend Workshop 13-15 March 2015 in Johannesburg. Such workshops can be held for any parishes or dioceses. Follow-up sessions are also important.
World Meeting of Families 2015 Philadelphia
May, a month for Family and Life
Weeks 21-27 (Aug-Oct) Marriage Awareness Campaign
BITS AND BYTES
WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES 2015 PHILADELPHIA USA 22-27 SEPTEMBER.
Love is Our Mission: The Family fully alive. Called together from all over the world in faithful celebration of the family—the sanctuary of love and life.
http://www.worldmeeting2015.org. explains “WMOF was conceived by Saint Pope John Paul II in 1992 to look at strengthening the sacred bonds of the family unit across the globe. The first WMOF took place in Rome in 1994, the International year of the family. Every three years since 1994, families from all over the world are invited by the Holy Father to attend this global gathering. At the conference, families share their thoughts, dialogue and prayers, working together to grow as individuals and family units. Families can participate in discussion groups on the Christian family’s role in the church and society, led by many distinguished speakers.”
All relevant information about the event can be found on the website. There will be a Congress for Families, A Festival of Families on Saturday and a Papal Mass on Sunday. Preparatory catechesis on 10 themes highlighting aspects of family life and church teaching will be available. More information about the Archdiocese of Philadelphia can be found on http://www.phillyevang.org/wmof/
WOULD YOU OR A NUMBER OF MEMBERS OF YOUR MOVEMENT LIKE TO MAKE A PILGRIMAGE TO THE WORLD MEETING OF FAMILIES?
Costs include travel, visa, registration for the congress, accommodation and food etc. would be in the region of R20 000 plus from South Africa. A delegation from the SACBC will be participating but there are no plans at the moment for a group. Anyone interested in possibly being part of a group may contact me, Toni. I have participated a number of times over the years with some bishops, priests and different members of family ministry. It is a truly exciting experience of solidarity and of being Church together.
POST 2014 and POST2015 DEVELOPMENT GOALS
http://undesadspd.org/Family/InternationalObservances/TwentiethAnniversaryofIYF2014.aspx
The 20th Anniversary IYF has ended and the SA Department for Social Development is working on implementation plans following its Summit in October. The priorities of the White Paper will align with these too. These will consist of ways and means for promoting family strengthening and Family Preservation as implementation tools for the Government’s family policy and naturally for the benefit of families. Apart from government departments, civil society organisation, NGOs and Faith-Based organisations are all part of the implementation process. Different Church departments can come on board with these too as appropriate. E.g. Justice and Peace programmes around gender, men, land, economic justice and more.
Family themes for International Day for Families each year on 15th May will continue.
The relevant UN department was to lobby for a family focus to be incorporated into the post-2015 Sustainable Development Goals. It is not clear YET whether this has been successful. The proposed goals tend to focus on economic and environmental rather than social development as first promoted in 1995 in Copenhagen. But even DAVOS and the WORLD ECONOMIC FORUM are coming to realise that the focus should be on people not impersonal economics only. Landgrabbing as promoted by the EFF political party in SA is a pressure tactic and not a rational long-term solution that promotes social cohesion.
A Church for our time? Who is he? Not Pope Francis but a cover picture from a dutch magazine De Tijd way back in 1996.
LAY FORMATION.
The SACBC continues to work on the introduction of a Laity Council. Our hope is that it will also include a strong family focus as family life is after all the context in which the laity live their lives even before the work place and other aspects.
Sr Letta and her blood sisters
THE YEAR OF CONSECRATED PERSONS. From Pope Francis Message: What in particular do I expect from this Year of grace for consecrated life? That the old saying will always be true: “Where there are religious, there is joy”. We are called to know and show that God is able to fill our hearts to the brim with happiness; that we need not seek our happiness elsewhere; that the authentic fraternity found in our communities increases our joy; and that our total self-giving in service to the Church, to families and young people, to the elderly and the poor, brings us life-long personal fulfilment.”
In a Radio Veritas interview I conducted with Sr Letta Mosue general superior of the Sisters of St Brigid, a local congregation she stressed that vocations come from families. At the recent ordination of Bishop Victor Hlolo Phalana of the diocese of Klerksdorp she was photographed with 2 of her blood sisters and 2 entrepeneurs busy on the day catering for the inner man.
RADIO VERITAS broadcasts on 576AM, DSTV audio channel 870 and is streaming on the internet. The magazine programme FAMILY MATTERS is aired on Wednesday 9-10am. Hosted by Toni Rowland with guests it highlights current family themes.
CORRESPONDENCE
Fr Vincent Carroll of the diocese of Tzaneen is developing reflections on the gospel of Luke which he sees as having much to say to families. Reflections are aimed at the adults through their children and youth by using SMS and sms speak as in the following example. He writes, for the 28th Jan. “We can bafraid of what God might haveinmind, what suffring might come our way. The story of J&J, M&J,S&A etc puts hartinus. Bencouraged!Startinfear:endinlove” Or in normal English “We can be afraid of what God might have in mind, what suffering might come our way. But the story of Jesus & John, Mary & Joseph, Simeon and Anna encourages us.” Contact him for more on this interesting initiative. vjpcarroll@hotmail.com
FEDERATION OF PAST-PUPILS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS IN SOUTH AFRICA. As the new year has started those who have left school may like to join this federation and meet up with old school friends. See www.faecas.org There is much interesting stuff about DON BOSCO – 2015 BICENTENNIAL and a short cartoon video of the life of Pope Francis for learners too.
The PAULINE’S Books and Media Centre. The Pauline family is commemorating its centenary in 2015. Their mission is an expression of the ministry of the Daughters of St Paul, an international congregation of women religious. It was founded 100 years ago to spread gospel values through the media. St Paul is the model of their discipleship which is open to all nations and cultures.
The Johannesburg bookshop has recently imported a range of books on marriage and family life from Kenya. See www.paulinesafrica.org. Our association with the sisters goes back 20 years. We congratulate them, thank them for their support for family ministry and wish them success in their arm of the media ministry. In South Africa we have sisters only but elsewhere there are also priests and brothers.
NEWS FROM THE CHURCH IN AFRICA. Some sources for news are: Catholic Information Service Africa (CISA) info@cisanewsafrica.com and CANAA, http://www.canaafrica.org.
USEFUL WEBSITES AND RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES. Contacts of local marriage and family programmes can be found on www.marfam.org.za and familydesk.sacbc.org.za.
Information about other useful websites and other resources for marriage and family life in the Church and society, book stores, internet and organisations can be googled or found on www.marfam.org.za under resources.
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY AND CATECHESIS.
Suggestions for FEBRUARY AND LENT
“Any good religious educator should be armed with a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. That is the way to link faith and life.”
Update the Family’s Year Planner, your own liturgical calendar, by discussing and adding the family events..
Use the THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY as individuals or for sharing in families or groups. The January – March booklet also includes Lent which begins on 18th Lenten reflections use the theme MEETING JESUS IN THE MASS.
Consider the February theme, “Committed to Love” in all types of relationships. Discover the history of Valentine’s Day and don’t make it only a commercial event.
Lent begins with Ash Wednesday on 18thFAMILY MATTERS mag 1 2015 has Lenten suggestions too and a LENTEN CALENDAR. Other booklets, MARRIAGE AND THE PASCHAL MYSTERY for faith sharing and STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR FAMILIES in different languages to pray at home and A FAMILY PRAYER BOOK has many short prayers too.
Does your parish celebrate Candlemas and Benedict Daswa a South African martyr on 2 Feb, St Blaise on 3 Feb, St Josephine Bakhita, patron saint for counter-trafficking campaign, – Our Lady of Lourdes on 11th These feasts all have special significance and relevance for families. Saints and the FEASTDAYS for THE MONTH can be explored with google to find out more.
Does each home have some Catholic symbols, a home shrine or altar, with suitable pictures of family mementoes, a crucifix, a Bible, statue or picture of Mary or favourite saints? The family’s liturgical calendar/year planner can be kept there. Does the family pray and spend quality time in sharing including faith sharing?
How are families that are regarded as “irregular” practising their faith life? Are they being welcomed and supported? Do they need help, possibly from a peer group?
Family catechesis, is learning about and sharing our faith at home with members of all ages. On a secular level too family communication is considered very important, even necessary for normal growth and a stable family.
FINALLY …… LOVE IS……………..
I’m feeling sentimental, have just celebrated a 48th wedding anniversary, alone, after 15 years of widowhood. More than 40 years ago, when we were young these Love is….. pics and sayings were all the rage. I still have a book full. How about everyone trying to make up their own sayings, one for every day of the month of February and focusing on the basic concept of commitment. Here are a few to get started. Some are more spiritual, some more down to earth.
Love is ……… committed to stick by you through thick and thin. Literally.
Love is……. committed to doing your best just because.
Love is…….. taking the baby so you can get some sleep.
Love is ……. washing the dishes when I’d rather not.
Love is …… a game that two can play and both win. Eva Gabor .
Love is ……. never having to say you’re sorry. Really?
Love is…… never going to bed angry.
Love is ….. stronger than death. The Bible.
Love is ….. our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another. Thomas Merton, famous spiritual writer.
Love is …… a commitment to say yes, in good times and in bad, when I’m happy and when I’m sad.
Love is …… a commitment to trust and to forgive.
And of course one of the most famous passages is from St Paul writing to the Corinthians. 1 Cor 13:
Love is ……. patient, kind, not jealous or boastful…………………….. Love never ends.
LOVE IS…. OUR MISSION. Theme for the 2015 World Meeting of Families in September.
Read More about Marfam And its Vision at www.marfam.org.za. Financial and other support welcomed. MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn. Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome. Details supplied on request. NPO 103-814.