MARFAM’S FAMILY MATTERS – JANUARY 2015
2015 THEME: Marriage and Family, committed to love and life. JANUARY THEME: Committed to a Good Start.
MARFAM – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RENEWAL MINISTRY – NPO 103-814. Communicate with us www.marfam.org.za facebook or info@marfam.org.za
Family Matters Printable Version
A Happy New Year
CONTENTS:
Editorial: ….. And a Happy New Year
MARFAM
News:
Article: Conclusions on MARFAM’s 20 years
SACBC Family Life Desk News and activities,
2015 Family Year Planner: Marriage and Family, committed to love and life.
January theme: Committed to a Good Start.
Activities.
BITS AND BYTES
CORRESPONDENCE
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY for January
FINALLY … Some New Year Resolutions to ponder.
“Family ministry is strengthening the living of Jesus’ message in the home as a light to all.” 2011 Family Leaders Conference
EDITORIAL :
My Christmas was a very mixed bag. A black friend sent me a nice christmassy reflection video with pictures of winter and snow-covered trees. My own series of Christmas stories, published on the web and face book, revolve around a setting “somewhere on a farm in South Africa.” I enjoyed a pizza Christmas eve dinner which included gammon, chicken and chocolate. I also celebrated with, what I think of as, a yuppie Christmas lunch prepared in a modern kitchen fully of “yuppie chef” gadgets and “Woollies” food. Between us, though, we still didn’t get all this quite right.
I spent time with Jesus, a lot of time in church with celebrations and music which I find a particularly meaningful spiritual outlet, especially my daughter’s rendition of Inkosi Jesus, an African carol. And all this in Johannesburg where the temperature reached 33 degrees C. More could be added but I think you get the picture.
So on the evening of Christmas Day I said to myself, where are we now and where are we heading? The snow-covered trees’ Christmas message asked one to count one’s blessings. “Do you have money, time, health, shelter or can read?” These basic necessities of life are still denied to many millions of people around the world. And yet they all have the potential to find their joy in Jesus and in relationships with others, especially their close family members, as Pope Francis reminds us. This would seem harder if one is unemployed and unable to feed one’s children. Or sick or imprisoned or in a hurting relationship. Yet all these are the people to whom the Good News is to be preached in order to experience the joy that Jesus offers.
Pope Francis is very popularly quoted these days and many of his words make headlines. In the build-up to Christmas he reportedly chastised those within the Vatican ranks who make too much of themselves and had a simple message for the regular workers there. His nine points to his workers are summarised in the newsletter below. I made simple bookmarks as small Christmas gifts with some other words of Pope Francis, words mainly addressed to families and their members. “Whenever we encounter another person in love we learn something new about God.” “Let us ask the Lord to help us understand the law of love. How good it is to have this law! How much good it does us to love one another, in spite of everything.”
A need for compassion for others who are suffering and mercy for those in wrong or difficult situations are also stressed. However in reality all that is often easier said than done. Striking the right note or finding recipients open is not so straightforward. I continue to see my calling as doing the best I can to share the message with families here in South Africa, on the farms, in cities – suburbs, townships and shacks – and across the world where some of my MARFAM friends live. While knowing there will be uphill times that will be my commitment for 2015. Commitment is the underlying theme for the year: marriage and family, committed to love and life.” January begins with “committed to a good start.”
So, dear friends and colleagues, as another year begins soon I hope that you too will find support from the following: On good days, commitment to the person. On OK days commitment to marriage and family. On bad days, commitment to commitment. And with all of that ….. a happy New Year!
Toni Rowland
MARFAM NEWS. READ. STUDY. LEARN.
December is holiday time for us in South Africa and so there is a rest from much of the work, but not from chasing outstanding money as the financial year ends at this time. It is a worrying reality that Catholic church people seem to be not good at paying their debts; dioceses, parishes, priests and individuals all owe too much for comfort. Tithing is not a Catholic tradition as is expected in some other churches, but do we contribute to the support of our Church not just in the collection plate but also through support for its programmes and ministries? Needless to say apart from debts, donations and e.g. monthly debit orders would be most welcome to keep MARFAM afloat.
Family life is still high on the Church’s agenda with another Synod in October and the ongoing 2014-2016 SACBC FOCUS ON FAMILIES. So we also hope and pray for increased support of some of our new MARFAM projects as we venture more into the electronic media.
CURRENT FAMILY PUBLICATIONS. www.marfam.org.za.
2015 Family Year Planner. This Family Life Desk resource is available with an overview of the monthly themes. See price and order list. The overview is published on the website and can be downloaded from www.marfam.org.za as a pdf doc and offered together with the calendars. As a poster calendar it is useful but as a Family Year Planner with all the important family dates noted it becomes a liturgical calendar for a family and their little church of the home. WHY NOT GIVE THE PARISH FAMILIES A FAMILY YEAR PLANNER AND A PRAYER CARD AS A CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR GIFT as some parishes have done.
FAMILY MATTERS magazine No 3/2014, 20th anniversary edition is still available.
Cost now R10.
The 1st THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY booklet for January – March is being distributed in time for the new year. Its Lenten reflections focus on MEETING JESUS IN THE MASS. Liturgical readings of the day are mainly used with short life-oriented stories to promote faith sharing with a family focus. A selection of the reflections in English is published on the website.
ARTICLE OF THE MONTH: CONCLUSIONS ON MARFAM’S 20 YEARS.
NEWS FROM THE SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK.
for more visit familydesk.sacbc.org.za and see www.marfam.org.za for links to family movements.
2015 THEME: marriage and family, committed to love and life.
From THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, FOR FAMILIES TOGETHER WITH GOD. JANUARY: Committed to a Good Start.
When does a family begin? You cannot be a family alone, so as soon as there are two people a new small family has begun. Ideally when a couple marries they already begin a family but in reality there are other situations too. When a child is born to an unmarried mother a new family unit is formed within their own larger family. The place of the father must be considered too for the good of the child. Commitment to a good start for a new family involves decision-making and preparation for a new way of life. Preparation for marriage begins early on in life and is modelled over time through seeing committed marriages around them. Commitment for everyone in all kinds of families calls for a regular review and a new start. New Year is a good time for this. Pope Francis encourages us by recommending a way of acting that preserves and fosters love in the family by saying “Please, Can I? May I?”, “Thank you” and “I’m sorry” and never allowing the sun to set on a quarrel or misunderstanding, without having the humility to ask forgiveness.
A selection of reflections mainly for Sundays is on the website in English. Afrikaans, Sesotho, Zulu, Tswana, North Sotho and Xhosa are emailed out when available.
JANUARY : New Beginnings, Towards balanced families
FEBRUARY : Love, the basis for care
MARCH : Human Rights and Family Rights
APRIL : Faith and Families – Together
MAY : Parenting and Work-family Balance
JUNE : Youth and their Families
JULY : the Elderly and Families
AUGUST : Gender Balance
SEPTEMBER : Families, Diverse and Together
OCTOBER : Reaching out, Family to Family
NOVEMBER : Loss and Needed Support
DECEMBER : Healthy Families, Hope for the Future
ACTIVITIES
2014-2016 FOCUS ON FAMILIES. This focus of the bishops remains a priority. This means that everyone, not only the Family Desk or family movements but dioceses, parishes, sodalities and other organisations are expected to consider how they can focus on and support families as the basic building blocks of the church and society. The Commitment theme for 2015 can be a help. It takes into consideration the bishops’ May month for Family and Life and the Marriage Awareness campaign from weeks 21-27 of Year B. (23 August to 3rd October.) Special resources will be made available.
A conference or family day is a possible event suggested for dioceses and parishes to highlight and celebrate marriage and family. It certainly helps to have a strong drawcard or celebrity. A fiesta or bazaar may bring in money but not have the same enrichment potential.
Apart from parish visits the main activity during the month was an input into a retreat for Rustenburg diocese’s deacons in formation and their wives. The picture shows some of the couples, and Bob a widower, whose wife died recently after more than 50 years.
Rustenburg dioceses deacons in formation with their wives and Bob, widowed after more than 50 years of marriage
With 2014 at an end reports about activities and ideas that can be shared for the benefit of others in 2015 are welcomed.
The Family Prayer card has been very widely distributed and can still be ordered at R1 each for minimum orders of 100. An updated resource leaflet for Family Days in 2015 will be prepared, also noting some events from other areas.
Other family resources are green family bracelets from Durban stjosephdbn@iafrica.com @ R10 or a parish family candle and candles for the home and a fridge magnet or button.
PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY programmes offer an orientation in the vision of a family-centred church, focusing on the Church as Family and Family as Church. There is a handbook and training manual. Dioceses and parishes may choose to run a variety of programmes but the Desk continues to promote the use of the Family Year Planner with its themes and related MARFAM resources as a broad holistic way of family education and enrichment.
FUTURE FAMILY MINISTRY EVENTS AND OTHER NOTICES: Contact 082 5521275 for details or requests.
Parish promotions 28 December, 11 January.
Parish Family Ministry Weekend Workshop 13-15 March 2015 in Johannesburg. These can be held for any parishes or dioceses. Follow-up sessions are also important.
World Meeting of Families 2015 Philadelphia
BITS AND BYTES
2014 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY +20.
http://www.viennafamilycommittee.org/ www.family2014.org.
http://undesadspd.org/Family/InternationalObservances/TwentiethAnniversaryofIYF2014.aspx
The year has ended but no report on the UN and national commemoration is yet available. For us the way ahead consists of promoting family strengthening and Family Preservation as implementation tools for the Government’s family policy and naturally for the benefit of families. Within the Church Justice and Peace programmes around gender, men, land, economic justice and more, and AIDS and development programmes can also adopt the holistic focus. Government departments, civil society organisation, NGOs and Faith-Based organisations are all part of the implementation process
Family themes for International Day for Families each year on 15th May will continue.
The relevant UN department was to lobby for a family focus to be incorporated into the post-2014 Sustainable Development Goals. It is not clear whether this has been successful. The goals tend to focus on economic and environmental rather than social development as first promoted in 1995 in Copenhagen.
LAY FORMATION.
An opportunity to present a family focus to the Lay Leaders meeting of the Laity Department on 6th December was used. The basic document of the meeting was Pope Francis JOY OF THE GOSPEL which makes only scant reference to family life. However lay people, like all of us, are family people and so evangelisation and mission surely belong in that particular context. Opportunities to present his message to the difference Sodality conferences are welcomed. It is a concern that a shortage of priests and religious exists and there will be a greater involvement of lay people and an important need for better formation for lay Catholics.
A MESSAGE FROM POPE FRANCIS.
In a pre-Christmas message to the employees of the Vatican the Holy Father made 9 points were noting.
Care for your spiritual life, your relationship with God as the backbone of everything we do and everything we are.
Care for your family life, giving to your children and your loved ones not only money, but above all time, attention and love. Family and children are treasures.
Heal your relationships with others, transforming faith into life and words into good works, especially for those most in need.
Watch how you speak. Purify your language from offensive words, vulgarity and words around worldly decadence.”
Heal the wounds of the heart with the oil of forgiveness.
Work with enthusiasm, humility, skill, passion, and with a soul that knows how to thank the Lord.
Avoid envy, lust, hatred and negative feelings that destroy our inner peace and make us destructive people.
Let go of bitterness and complaining that brings us to revenge and lead to despair. He added that laziness leads to euthanasia and the finger-pointing leads to pride.
Reach out to the weak, elderly, sick, hungry, homeless and foreigners. For this will determine how we will be judged.
Pope Francis encouraged his listeners to examine which of these areas were in need of attention for them and concluded. “Think of all the good,” he said, “if we looked at each other, especially the most needy, with eyes of goodness and tenderness, as God looks at us, waiting for us and forgiving us; if we found humility, our strength, and our treasure!”
RADIO VERITAS broadcasts on 576AM, DSTV audio channel 870 and is streaming on the internet. The magazine programme FAMILY MATTERS is aired on Wednesday 9-10am. Hosted by Toni Rowland with guests it highlights current family themes.
CORRESPONDENCE
The African Bible, a great contribution
THE DAUGHTERS OF ST PAUL are commemorating their centenary, 1915-2015. We congratulate them and wish them success in their arm of the media ministry and thank them too for their support of MARFAM and family ministry over the years both in the bookshop and the Conference Centre. Many Church documents are made available through Pauline Publications based in Kenya. One of their great contributions is the publication of the African Bible which is becoming very commonly used. The PAULINE’S Books and Media Centre in Johannesburg has recently imported a range of books on marriage and family life from Kenya. See www.paulinesafrica.org.
Fr Vincent Carroll of the diocese of Tzaneen is developing reflections for children on John the Baptist and Luke’s gospel as a preparation for Christmas to be sent by sms. Contact him on for more on this interesting initiative. vjpcarroll@hotmail.com
The Complementarity of Man and Woman: An International Colloquium The colloquium was opened by Pope Francis and attended by about 350 academic, religious and civil society leaders from 14 religions and 23 countries. A series of videos was shown and can be accessed on youtube. Visit www.humanum.it for more information.
FEDERATION OF PAST-PUPILS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS IN SOUTH AFRICA. As the new year starts it is good for those who have left school to consider joining this federation. There must be thousands of past pupils across the country. Polydor Lokombe invites any who would like to join, contribute or greet old friends to visit www.faecas.org
NEWS FROM THE CHURCH IN AFRICA. Some sources for news are: Catholic Information Service Africa (CISA) info@cisanewsafrica.com and CANAA, http://www.canaafrica.org.
USEFUL WEBSITES AND RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES. Contacts of local marriage and family programmes can be found on www.marfam.org.za and familydesk.sacbc.org.za.
Information about other useful websites and other resources for marriage and family life in the Church and society, book stores, internet and organisations can be googled or found on www.marfam.org.za under resources.
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY AND CATECHESIS.
“Any good religious educator should be armed with a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. That is the way to link faith and life.”
Consider the theme, “Committed to a Good Start” when it comes to work, school, further studies, getting fit and more.
Thank God for the gift of another year and commit to make the best of it. .
Dedication Sunday. Catechists are commissioned but why not include parents with a special blessing as they are the primary educators. Their role needs to be recognised and affirmed. See liturgy sheet.
See www.marfam.org.za under liturgies and blessings for a blessing of a home for the New Year.
In some parishes Christmas ends with the feast of the Epiphany. In others with the Presentation on 2nd February. Whatever the tradition make it work with relevant celebrations and singing of appropriate songs.
Make up the Family’s own liturgical calendar, the 2015 Family Year Planner, by discussing and adding the family events..
Use the THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY as individuals or for sharing in families or groups. The January – March booklet also includes Lent which begins mid February.
Does each home have some Catholic symbols, a home shrine or altar, with suitable pictures or family mementoes, a crucifix, a Bible, statue or picture of Mary or favourite saints? The family’s liturgical calendar/year planner can be kept there. Does the family pray and spend quality time in sharing including faith sharing?
How are families that are regarded as “irregular” practising their faith life? Are they being welcomed and supported? Do they need help, possibly from a peer group?
Saints and the FEASTDAYS for THE MONTH. Can be explored with google to find out more.
FAMILY PRAYER BOOK has many short prayers and suggestions for a “Family Hour,” or a shorter time for family faith sharing. Members are also encouraged to make up their own prayers and sharing topics. The bishops’ PRAYER FOR FAMILIES is printed on the back.
commit to make time to pray and share as a family
Family catechesis, is learning about and sharing our faith at home with members of all ages. On a secular level too family communication is considered very important, even necessary for normal growth and a stable family.
FINALLY …… New Year’s Resolutions to ponder
source: www.jokes4us.com/holidayjokes/newyearsjokes.html
A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
Mine is to rediscover the difference between wants and needs. May I have all I need and want all I have.
Every year I make a resolution to change myself……. this year I’m making a resolution to be myself!
I’m planning on finding new and interesting things to hate about my job in 2014.
Just heard that in 2014 there will be a new device that can turn thoughts into speech. I have had that for years, it’s called alcohol.
And for some of us oldies: God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. – Author Unknown
Read More about Marfam And its Vision at www.marfam.org.za. Financial and other support welcomed. MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn. Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome. Details supplied on request.