MARFAM’S FAMILY MATTERS – MAY 2014
20th Anniversary International Year of the Family, theme: FAMILIES TOGETHER, THAT’S US!
May theme: Parenting and Work-Family Balance
MARFAM – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RENEWAL MINISTRY – NPO 103-814.
Communicate with us www.marfam.org.za facebook or info@marfam.org.za
Family Matters Printable Version
CONTENTS:
from Stations of Light at Don Bosco Centre
SACBC Prayer for Families
Reflection: To Life!
MARFAM News.
Article of the month
Poem of the month
SACBC Family Life Desk News and activities,
Year Planner: 2014 May theme:
International Year of the Family + 20
BITS AND BYTES
CORRESPONDENCE:
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY for months May-June
FINALLY … on a lighter note
PRAYER FOR FAMILIES
Our Father, we come to you as your children in the Church which is your Family.
As families of many kinds we praise and thank you for your love and care in good times and in bad.
Strengthen us to build strong families, be faithful spouses, good parents and nurture the life of all.
Help us to support the rights of each member so that there will be no more violence or division.
Through practicing the life-giving love of Jesus, your Son and through the power of the Holy Spirit make our families holy families where the joy of your presence is felt in our little churches of the home.
Open us to the needs of other families especially the neglected, the lonely and the poor.
Bless our leaders as they guide us in living your plan in our family.
Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, pray for us and show us the way.
Saints of God …………. Pray for us
Add your own particular needs
SACBC 2014-2016 FOCUS ON FAMILIES. This prayer is available in English, Afrikaans, Zulu, Sotho, Tswana, Pedi, Xhosa, Venda and Tsonga
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To life!
That wasn’t exactly what the homily at the recent Chrism Mass in Johannesburg was saying, but there could have been an undertone of that in Fr Paul’s homily. It is always a heart-warming occasion where priests and people express their appreciation and love for each other. In appropriate ways, as Fr Paul emphasized. He preached about the mission of Jesus and his vision as presented in the readings for the Mass. Bringing good news, healing the sick and the broken-hearted. Conscious of a somewhat negative image of the priesthood at this time we, the families of the Church, do recognise the brokenness, the need for acceptance and a call to responsibility too. All that is being life-giving. Coming from our own experience of life, of hurting and healing, of birth and death, of struggling with communication issues across the generations and time needed to be spent building up our own little church of the home we know about life-giving in many different forms. So the need to collaborate and mutually support one another is a necessary aspect of church life.
In spite of the good vibes it was disappointing for me that although the bishops of our region have prioritised family life as a focus area for the next three years, and the upcoming month of May has also been chosen by the bishops as a month for Family and Life, that this aspect did not feature strongly in the Mass. All of us lay people were edified at the long line of priests, many now grey-haired and tired after giving many years of their life, others, middle-aged and younger also feeling the joys and the burdens of loneliness that can accompany a priest’s life. Yes, it was an occasion to honour the priests, but also to receive their recommitment promises. Who and what are they recommitting to? Is it to the bishop or also as servant leaders in their communities made up of us, as families of many kinds? We pray for them and trust that they will fulfil this role, modelled on Jesus as servant-leader but also on the way couples and families are servant-leaders in their daily lives.
The month for Family and Life does have a particular emphasis on the need to cherish the unborn and aged and care for those who are weakest amongst us. That is one of the tasks of families according to Pope John Paul II. During this post-Easter time Pope Francis, as always, calls us to joy. Being life-giving in any way should lead to joy. I have a personal wish that would make my cup overflow with joy. Next year, 2015, in the three years of the FOCUS ON FAMILIES campaign the Family Life Desk will again have its Marriage Awareness season. What if, just like on Holy Thursday when the priests come together to renew their commitment before the bishop and their people, all the married couples were invited to do the same. Imagine how long the procession would be in each parish. Imagine what a witness that would give. Imagine if some special formation was offered to the couples to embark on a serious recommitment how their marriages would be enriched and they could share with the priests the power of their two Sacraments of Life, Matrimony and Holy Orders. Just imagine! To Life!
Toni Rowland
MARFAM NEWS
MARFAM NEWS READ. STUDY. LEARN.
The first FAMILY MATTERS magazine for 2014 is now being distributed. Some articles reflect on aspects of our Catholic faith and the upcoming Extraordinary Synod on the Family preparations for which are under way. The responses to the preparatory questionnaires from South Africa have not been published but we do know from general reports that knowledge of Catholic teaching is limited for most Catholics, understanding and acceptance even less. Older Catholics have come from an era when we generally accepted without questioning what we were told. Younger Catholics believe they have a right to question everything. MARFAM’s publications for 2014 will deal with the pastoral challenges the Synod will be discussing in various ways as well as more practical challenges noted by the UN through the IYF. The magazine has more in-depth articles, THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY shorter reflections and this e-newsletter can also be a vehicle for some discussion.
Are we all on board? Even in the public domain now, with INTERNATIONAL DAY FOR FAMILIES on 15 May around the corner, there still appears to be a relatively low awareness of a family focus and of the themes. In media, society and church one constantly hears about women’s, men’s or children’s issues and programmes while little is said about programmes for families as units which still include the women, men or children but from a particular angle. That is our constant refrain with the SACBC 2014 Family Year Planner, Thoughts for the Day booklets, FAMILY MATTERS magazine and workshops too aiming to reinforce that message. The magazine also presents the beautiful devotion, STATIONS OF LIGHT, from Don Bosco Centre in Gauteng. Pictures of the mosaics by Fr Pierre de la Croix are used with permission.
We are making a little progress with social media but time is a major problem for this oldie.
CURRENT FAMILY PUBLICATIONS. www.marfam.org.za.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY April – June R10,
A FAMILY PRAYER BOOK R10.
GOD’S PLAN OF LOVE, A Resurrection Story, is a new story and colouring book for children covering salvation history until Pentecost. R10.
Parenting a Labour of Love, this and other resource booklets for faith sharing can be used in families or in groups such as SCCs, RENEW in between seasons or sodality groups.
HELLO MARY, a children’s booklet about the Hail Mary prayer. R8 Bulk prices apply to all these.
2014 FAMILY YEAR PLANNER. A full calendar overview for the year is published on the website. It is used each month for the relevant themes and for families as a Family Liturgical Calendar with their own special events and celebrations.
ARTICLE OF THE MONTH. Work , a Challenge for the Family, from a Catechesis from Pontifical Council for the Family 2012.
POEM OF THE MONTH Women and Mothers, Boxed Families.
NEWS FROM THE SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK.
See familydesk.sacbc.org.za created by Mariannhil Mission Press and linked with other SACBC departments. Also see www.marfam.org.za/blog for the links to family movements.
2014 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY 20th anniversary.
THEME: FAMILIES TOGETHER – THAT’S US!
JANUARY : New Beginnings, Towards balanced families
FEBRUARY : Love, the basis for care
MARCH : Human Rights and Family Rights
APRIL : Faith and Families – Together
MAY : Parenting and Work-family Balance
JUNE : Youth and their Families
JULY : the Elderly and Families
AUGUST : Gender Balance
SEPTEMBER : Families, Diverse and Together
OCTOBER : Reaching out, Family to Family
NOVEMBER : Loss and Needed Support
DECEMBER : Healthy Families, Hope for the Future
From THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, FOR FAMILIES TOGETHER WITH GOD
May: Parenting and Work-Family Balance.
Parenting is surely one of the most complex and demanding life tasks and one that comes without a clear instruction book. It is a skill learned from previous generations but is practised in an environment where roles are changing. It requires a balance between nurturing and providing at all times. Parents may work hard to pay for children’s education and the many extras that are involved and then not have time to spend with them in meaningful communication or take an interest in their activities and prepare them for their own future in the world of work. Children must grow up with a correct attitude of freedom with regard to material goods, by adopting a simple and austere life style and being fully convinced that “man is more precious for what he is than for what he has.” FC 37
A selection of reflections mainly for Sundays is on the website in English. Afrikaans, Sesotho, Zulu, Tswana, North Sotho and Xhosa are emailed out when available.
ACTIVITIES. More of the activities of the FL Desk are posted on the SACBC website in future. 2014 – 2016 A FOCUS ON FAMILIES.
As mentioned the bishops of the region have prioritised family life for the next 3 years a Family Prayer and resource leaflet for Family Days were commissioned and produced. Prayer cards have been printed in different local languages and are being distributed in bulk to the dioceses.
Prayer and resource leaflet are also being published on the Family Life Desk website. These are all part of the family enrichment campaign which for some is beginning in earnest this month of MAY. A working group will also begin to reflect on other initiatives for the future.
SA BISHOPS IN ROME ON AD LIMINA VISIT. Our bishops are at present in Rome for their Ad Limina visit with Pope Francis and various other events. Bishop Jan de Groef, who is responsible for family life in our region reported on their meeting with Cardinal Paglia of the Pontifical Council for the Family. Bishop Jan writes, “He very much stressed the value of the traditional family which has to remain at the basis of every healthy society and Church while recognizing the actual social context (fed in by individual Southern African Bishops) which can be very different: single parents, child-headed families, families stricken by poverty and migration. One must also find ways to help those.” The Cardinal stressed that the Church should be welcoming and “be family” to those who missed the family experience in their lives.
FAMILY MINISTRY. A Parish Family Ministry workshop in Rustenburg diocese also addressed the IYF theme of intergenerational solidarity by discussing with the group of couples and sodality leaders the issue of abuse of older people which has been identified as a concern in the region. Many aspects of family life need to be addressed and suitable responses developed. This is also the message from the Department of Social Development and the National Family Services Forum. This body of government and civil society representatives is growing together in its vision and focus for strengthening family life in terms of the Government’s White Paper as the national family policy. The Church does hold different beliefs in some areas but the overall focus of building and strengthening families as the basis of society is common to us all.
FAMILY CONFERENCE, BY ALL, FOR ALL. Very important news is the FAMILY CONFERENCE and FAMILY FAITH AND FUN DAY to be hosted 20-21 September by the FL Desk in collaboration with Radio Veritas, the Salesian Family, Johannesburg Family Life Department and MARFAM. A working group has started planning and will invite all other family groupings to participate. This family celebration will relate to the International Year of the Family as well as the Church’s own Synod. Further news to follow shortly.
itas, the FL Desk, Johannesburg Family Life Department and the Salesians have so far started developing a programme for a family conference at Bosco on 20-21 September. Other role players are being approached to make this a meaningful and fun event for families who will participate. Further news to follow.
2014 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY +20.
Valuable websites
http://social.un.org/index/Family/InternationalObservances/TwentiethAnniversaryofIYF2014.aspx
http://www.viennafamilycommittee.org/
http://www.family2012.com/en/
www.family2014.org.
The themes in preparation for this year are from International Family Days in 2011 – 2013: THEMES: CONFRONTING FAMILY POVERTY, WORK-FAMILY BALANCE, INTERGENERATIONAL SOLIDARITY and EMPOWERING AND SUPPORTING FAMILIES
The various websites also contain research papers and documentation to support the need for family-orientated poverty alleviation programmes that can have a spin-off on intergenerational support and work-family balance.
According to the UN Nations “the twentieth anniversary of the International Year of the Family (IYF) offers an opportunity to refocus on the role of families in development; take stock of recent trends in family policy development; share good practices in family policy making; review challenges faced by families worldwide and recommend solutions.” As national and regional policies are examined, we can consider if our dioceses and parishes do have adequate family policies with regard to marriage preparation, enrichment, even openness to counselling, baptism preparation family catechesis, etc? Assisting dioceses is one of our family ministry objectives. All church members as individuals, members of groups or sodalities in their individual and family capacity with their particular skills and all church agencies have a role to play in the strengthening and support of families and all their related issues at all levels. Justice and Peace and Development departments have been asked to incorporate a family focus, e.g. address family poverty holistically or work-family balance through the Economic Justice Desk. AIDS projects too can look holistically at families in their care programmes.
What is your group, sodality, RENEW group, parish team or organisation doing in May and planning for 2014 – 2016? We hear that parishes are using a prayer, an icon of the Holy Family, a candle in the parish and at home to use at prayer time. Bracelets are being promoted by Fr Des Royappen in Durban. stjosephdbn@iafrica.com Let us have other suggestions; fridge magnet, badge, conferences and workshops at any level, diocese or smaller groupings. Gatherings should be fun, but by building in some of the current topics can be enriching and informative.
Diocesan family events could be held and take different forms. Different events during this year can look for ways to incorporate a family focus in their projects.
(The above poster available in A3 or A4 size for parish notice board or other promos.)
FUTURE FAMILY MINISTRY EVENTS AND OTHER NOTICES: Contact 082 5521275 for details or requests.
MAY a month for Family and Life. Focus on life issues.
3 MAY PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY WORKSHOP, JOHANNESBURG CHANCERY. Aim to look into IYF and ongoing support for family life in parishes. Nearby dioceses are free to join in.
7 May. SA Election day.
11 May. Mother’s Day.
13 MAY CPLO event around the International Year of the Family.
15 MAY, INTERNATIONAL FAMILY DAY. Celebrate in parishes and at home using the IYF themes, especially work-family balance and parenting. Call on Department of Social Developent or other resources.
16- 18 May, Marriage Encounter weekend, Gauteng. Booking 0725398298.
24 May. Conference at Pauline’s Book and Media Centre. Presentations by Fr Barney McAleer and Toni Rowland.
Parish Family Ministry Weekend Workshops can be held for any parishes or dioceses. Follow-up sessions are also important. JHB PFM WORKSHOPS 3 May, 2 August, 4 October. Next weekend in Johannesburg 5-7 September 2014.
FAMILY CONFERENCE and FAMILY FAITH AND FUN DAY – JOHANNESBURG. 20-21 SEPTEMBER
BITS AND BYTES
ELECTIONEERING is frantically reaching a climax with the election only days away on 7th May. The bishops have issued a statement calling citizens to pray for a peaceful campaign and for voters to act responsibly. See www.sacbc.org.za The Moral Regeneration Movement, has issued its general election ethics charter. “Ethics is about values, and, for the social beings that we are, it is about shared values. If it is ethical to vote, it is also necessary to be ethical in voting” the chairperson Smangaliso Mkhatshwa says. Families should discuss party manifestos with their youth and consider the suitability of the candidates and parties to govern.
RIGHT TO LIFE ISSUES Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute http://www.c-fam.org/ austin.ruse@c-fam.org This UN based organisation regularly reports on life issues and the challenges of maintaining a pro-life focus in an often hostile setting. Is the right to life kept in the fore-front of our thinking constantly, and in a meaningful and helpful way? A series of posters of the beauty of life in the womb is currently being published in the Southern Cross newspaper. Contact info@mscaidssa.org.za
PARENTING PROGRAMMES. There are a number of parenting skills programmes available. Do some local research, invite a speaker or do your own faith sharing with MARFAM’s PARENTING A LABOUR OF LOVE. A BASIC PARENTING SKILLS PROGRAMME is offered by the Cape Town Archdiocese and Parenting for children and Parenting for Teenagers by Alpha in the Johannesburg area. Department for Social Development also offers a number of parenting programmes.
LAY FORMATION. The Inter-diocesan Consultation taking place at present is aiming at development of a new Pastoral Plan for the region for the next 10-20 years. What will the needs be and who will be able to carry out the tasks of evangelisation. The role of the laity and their interaction with the clergy will be increasingly important.
CANONISATIONS. POPE JOHN PAUL II in 2005 spoke of the relationship between clergy and laity. “A great many wonderful things are to be hoped for from this familiar dialogue between the laity and their spiritual leaders: in the laity a strengthened sense of personal responsibility; a renewed enthusiasm; a more ready application of their talents to the projects of their spiritual leaders. The latter, on the other hand, aided by the experience of the laity, can more clearly and more incisively come to decisions regarding both spiritual and temporal matters. In this way, the whole Church, strengthened by each one of its members, may more effectively fulfill its mission for the life of the world.”
POPE JOHN XXIII in calling together the Second Vatican Council 50 years ago gave the Church an invaluable gift of renewal. We pray that the canonisation of these two Pope at this time will bring many blessings for the Church and its families.
FOLLOW THE POPE(s). Subscribing to www.zenit.org gives access to regular bulletins from Rome.
The International Year of Family Farming 2014. This UN worldwide commemoration has relevance for Southern Africa too where family farming has been practised for generations. www.familyfarmingcampaign.net. See Family Matters magazine article.
RADIO VERITAS broadcasts on 576AM, DSTV audio channel 170 and is streaming on the internet. Many Catholic issues are addressed and attention is being paid to the International Year of the Family at present. FAMILY MATTERS is a magazine programme on Wednesday 9-10am highlighting many aspects of the IYF and hosted by Toni Rowland with guests.
CORRESPONDENCE
WORLD WIDE ORGANIZATION OF PAST-STUDENTS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS: OMAEC. The organisation aims to gather and unite past pupils and sympathizers of Catholic education/schools in order for them to serve the church and society at large. For more information contact FEDERATION OF PAST-PUPILS OF CATHOLIC EDUCATION IN SOUTH AFRICA IS LOCAL OMAEC faecas.localomaec@hotmail.com. (I matriculated at Holy Cross convent, Aliwal North in 1961. Oh dear, how that dates us!)
USEFUL WEBSITES AND RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES.
For contacts of local marriage and family programmes see : www.marfam.org.za and familydesk.sacbc.org.za
SOCIAL COMMUNICATIONS Desk at the SACBC. Subscribe to e-Khanya bi-monthly newsletter on www.sacbc.org.za, Southern Cross online www.scross.co.za
Mariannhill Mission press www.mariannhillmedia.org and www.mariannhillpress.co.za for printing and websites
South African Catholic Internet Resource Blog set up by Frank Nunan frank@sacatholiconline.org.
RIGHT TO LIFE ISSUES Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute http://www.c-fam.org/ austin.ruse@c-fam.org
Marriage: www.foryourmarriage.org US Catholic Bishops sponsored newsletter on marriage and family life.
www.smartmarriages.com carries numerous articles on marriage and family life.
Catholic Education: www.catholiceducation.org/updates/latest.htm a resource for educators and any adults.
Parent-teen support: www.tugoflife.com and LIFETALK are for parents, teens and teen educators.
CIE (Catholic Institute of Education) has many programmes dealing with school-parent-child issues. www.cie.org.za
Heartlines films and other resources on values are very helpful for groups and workshops.
Non-religious family support resources. Government Social Development departments, FAMSA, LifeLine, Child Welfare and many other NGO’s, social workers and psychologists offer counselling, marriage preparation, family education, divorce mediation and counselling, parenting, fatherhood and many more. Family Preservation is a vision and a programme.
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY AND CATECHESIS.
Suggestions for May theme: Parenting, and Work-Family Balance. June will focus on youth and July on the elderly as intergenerational issues.
“Any good religious educator should be armed with a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. That is the way to link faith and life.” Visit www.marfam.org.za for more ideas or google.
The Easter season or POST EASTER is the time from Easter to Pentecost, a season we sometimes neglect. We are Resurrection people and this season should have a stronger focus. Both FAMILY MATTERS magazine and the booklet GOD’S PLAN OF LOVE, A Resurrection Story, are for this time. This new story and colouring book for children covers all of salvation history up until Pentecost.
STATIONS OF LIGHT at Bosco Youth Centre. A scripture sharing activity based on these Stations is published in FAMILY MATTERS magazine with images of the mosaics created for the devotion. Groups and families can take a trip to Bosco Centre in Gauteng and pray the Stations as part of a family day.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, April to June booklets contain a short reflection for every day. May reflections are on parent-child relationships and Youth reflections about youth.
FAMILY PRAYER BOOK has many short prayers and suggestions for a “Family Hour,” family faith sharing. Members are encouraged to make up their own prayers and sharing topics. The bishops PRAYER FOR FAMILIES is printed on the back.
From 27th April, Freedom Day to 7th May, Election Day. Twenty years down the line means that the youth of today are not aware of the meaning and value of this time. In whatever context families live, share your experiences and history and pray for reconciliation and true freedom as the way to a bright future.
MAY month has many possibilities. Mary’s month – praying the Rosary or a decade, including a prayer to Mary in daily prayer, a focus on Life Issues and the need for effective Parenting. MARFAM has resources or referral information for many of these.
A MOVEMENT OF CONTINUOUS PRAYER can be used as a prayer chain, with making up a list of 30/31 volunteer families agreeing to pray the Rosary on one day a month for marriage and family life. Contact MARFAM for more info.
11th May, Mothers’ Day. Mothers are the ones who nurture life and yet also the ones who destroy the life of their unborn child. Pope John Paul spoke of “Every child a new smile.” What brings a mother to a point where she cannot see this reality? How can every mother be loved and supported to play their rightful role in families and society?
15th June, Fathers’ Day. There is a definite growing awareness of the importance of a father in a child’s life. This should be so from the very beginning. Make a special effort to include all fathers, even young ones in this day.
15th May is International Day for Families. Not a church day but an international day of solidarity with families all over the world reflecting on the important themes and on Parenting or Life issues. This can be a parish launch of their family programme. Families can consider the conditions of families in other parts of the world.
Faith sharing in a family – not a prayer group – with members of all ages is a recommended form of family catechesis especially when using current themes. Even more than important it should be considered necessary for normal growth and a stable family.
As a family do some research on the lives of SAINTS, our own name saints and the FEASTDAYS for THE MONTH. See www.catholiconline.org or google to find out more.
FINALLY … on the lighter side.
It is a matter of perception.
The Pope and the Jews.
The year was 1492 A.D., and the citizens of Rome wanted to expel the Jews. The Pope, being somewhat more openminded than his followers, decided to give the Jews a chance to be heard on this question, and challenged them to a public debate. The elders of the Jewish community considered the matter carefully.
“We have many learned and erudite men among us,” they reasoned, “but the Pope is also learned and erudite. By learning and erudition alone, we may not prevail. Perhaps we may prevail by common sense.” So they chose the most commonsense man among them, a crusty old fellow named Moishe, to represent them. Moishe agreed, but on one condition: The debate must be held in silence, without words.
Surprisingly, the Pope agreed. On the appointed day, the Pope and Moishe took the stage and seated themselves before the crowd.
The Pope held up three fingers.
Moishe held up one finger.
The Pope pointed with his three fingers to the four horizons: East, South, West, and North.
Moishe pointed with his one finger to the ground at their feet.
After some moments, the Pope held up the elements of the Eucharist — the wine and the wafer.
Moishe immediately held up an apple.
Suddenly, the Pope stood up and declared, “The debate is concluded. The Jews have won. The Jews can stay.”
Some days later, a cardinal finally got up the nerve to ask the Pope, “Your Holiness, just what exactly did you and Moishe say to each other?”
“First,” began the Pope, “I held up three fingers to symbolize the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Then Moishe held up one finger to represent the essential Unity of God. Okay, so he got me on the first round.
“Next, I pointed to all the horizons to indicate that God is all around us. But Moishe pointed to the ground between us to indicate that God is right here with us. Okay, he got me again.
“Finally, I held up the Eucharist to indicate the redemption of humankind through the sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ. But Moishe held up the apple to indicate the original sin of Adam and Eve that made that sacrifice necessary. I realized that he was right – that we are all one in Adam, and announced the Jews’ victory.”
Not long after that, one of the rabbis asked Moishe the same question.
“The Pope,” said Moishe, “held up three fingers to say, ‘The Jews must leave Rome in three days.’ I held up one finger to say, ‘Not one Jew will leave.’ Then the Pope pointed to the horizons to say, ‘The Jews must disperse into the wide world.’ I pointed to the ground between us to say, ‘We are staying right here!’ Then,” Moishe shrugged, “he held up his lunch, I held up mine, and it was all over.”
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MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za/ We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn. Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome. Details supplied on request.