MARFAM’S FAMILY MATTERS – MARCH 2014
20th Anniversary International Year of the Family, theme: FAMILIES TOGETHER, THAT’S US!
March theme: Human Rights are Family Rights
MARFAM – MARRIAGE AND FAMILY RENEWAL MINISTRY – NPO 103-814.
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Family Matters Printable Version
Annunciation stained glass window Regina Mundi, Soweto
CONTENTS:
Reflection : Our Oscar
MARFAM News.
Article of the month
SACBC Family Life Desk News and activities,
Year Planner: 2014 March theme:
Human Rights are Family Rights
BITS AND BYTES:
CORRESPONDENCE: Radio Veritas and the IYF
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY for March and Lent
FINALLY … not very funny but food for thought!
COMMUNITY PRAYER FOR THE INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY
Heavenly Father, we call you Our Father because we are your children
in the Church which is your Family.
As a family of whatever form or shape or size we trust in you and
thank you for your love and care for each of us in good times and in bad.
During this SPECIAL YEAR FOR THE FAMILY help us as couples and all families to grow together
as we face the many challenges of our daily lives.
May we learn to model our lives on the blessed Trinity, the first community of love
and on the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary and Joseph who too confronted many challenges including poverty and exile.
Help us to balance our lives to make time for You and for one another.
Encourage us to be generous, willing to share and reach out beyond our own homes.
When we hurt others open us up to forgiveness and strengthen us to become peacemakers.
Fill us with the passion and compassion of Jesus and the comfort and joy of Your Spirit
so that as FAMILIES TOGETHER in our homes and in the world we may live our lives in unity for God’s glory. Amen.
REFLECTION:
Our Oscar
Towards the end of February I was facilitating a Parish Family Ministry training weekend in Johannesburg, away from the outside world and the media which that week had two strongly competing news items. The national elections only take place in May so that topic is going to be with us for some months still. Parties launching their manifestos and attacking one another not only in word but at times also violently in deeds has become an expected outcome of many political gatherings. The violent nature of our society as a whole is manifested in the behaviour of its individual members and so the media circus around the Oscar Pistorius trial is gaining momentum as the date for the beginning of his trial nears. He committed a violent act, no doubt, and is facing the maximum charge of premeditated murder. Innocent or guilty surely in our minds he is being prejudged so much so that OUR Oscar, the miracle golden Paralympics boy hero, is by many being disowned and no longer OUR Oscar. A disgraced hero no longer belongs. Is that how things are in families? If a member commits an abhorrent act does he cease to be part of the family? For me that is what belonging is about – unconditional acceptance and belonging are a natural feature of family life, in good times and in bad.
Then during the weekend workshop participants watched a film, one of the Heartlines series on Values entitled Second Chances. It involved not giving up on another person, especially within a family or extended family. The film addressed the reality of evil in society. Many “small fry” drug dealers or hijackers are caught and punished while the real evil ones continue to rule their evil empires and seem to be able to avoid being caught and brought to book. Is there real deliberate evil or do people make mistakes and then have to take the consequences? Last year at this time I wondered whether true justice is likely to be done in Oscar’s case. At this point in time I am looking beyond this at the story in the film. A young man released from jail is accepted by a family knowing that it is possible he may have had a role in the murder of one of their members. Because of previous connections in the underworld he is almost unable to escape from their clutches but through the love and acceptance of one family and particularly the young son who innocently accords him the dignity and sense of belonging he needs. Belonging is a very important attribute of being family of one kind or another, the domestic church or family as a foundation concept, but other cases of human belonging to close friends has similar qualities.
The theme for the Lenten Reflections this time from the booklet produced by the Department of Evangelization and the SACBC Family Life Desk introduces a possible theme for a future Pastoral Plan for the Church in our Region. “Belonging to Christ, committed for mission.” I would like to suggest that the theme should ideally become “belonging to Christ and to one another.” The human experience of belonging which is foundational and at the heart of family life is our first and immediate experience of belonging and an introduction to what belonging to Christ can be. That is the theology of a family focus, of Family as Church. The International Year of the Family in general is about strengthening families as units, in other words, how they belong.
In March we in our family ministry focus not just on human rights of the individual but also in the context of a family. Maybe men and women have an equal right to work but they also both have the responsibility for their family to take into consideration. Belonging, rights and responsibilities could be themes for reflection this March in families and in parishes. Then Our Oscar will and can still belong to us, whatever the outcome of his trial. And is it really fair that his trial will have public spectacle value? I would prefer that anyone, innocent until proven guilty or not, should have the right to privacy and not be exhibited like a circus animal for all the world to gloat over. Is that how you would want one of your own to be treated? Have we not progressed beyond the gladiator sports or the French Revolution image of women sitting by the guillotine watching the heads roll?
Toni Rowland
MARFAM NEWS
MARFAM NEWS READ. STUDY. LEARN. 
The International Year of the Family with its important and far-ranging themes is under way. Are we all on board? In the public domain there appears to be a disappointingly low awareness of the themes or of a family focus but we are doing our best to promote, encourage and cajole parishes and families to use this opportunity for their own benefit and growth. The Family Year Planner with the theme Families Together, That’s us! and the quarterly Thoughts for the Day booklets are the foundation for the education and enrichment programme incorporating the themes in a simple format for family reflection and discussion. A full calendar overview for the year is published on the website, www.marfam.org.za.
The theme for March is Human Rights are Family Rights. The Pontifical Council’s Charter of Family Rights emphasizes that human rights ‘have a fundamental social dimension which finds an innate and vital expression in the family.’ Article 4e. The 2014 Lenten Reflection booklet has been developed and distributed by the SACBC Department for Evangelization with the Family Life Desk to introduce the focus of Phase III of the Interdiocesan Consultation that will lead to a new Pastoral Plan for the Church in our region. Other Lenten reflection booklets THAT THEY MAY BE ONE and STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR FAMILIES in various languages are available from MARFAM. The 1st 2014 Family Matters magazine with some in-depth articles on IYF themes and issues raised in the Vatican’s questionnaire is being put together. Our electronic media arm continues to struggle along, mainly for lack of time, but hope springs eternal as the saying goes. An e-book format is even on the cards.
CURRENT FAMILY PUBLICATIONS.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY Jan-March R8. April – June R10, LENTEN REFLECTIONS 2014 R8, Lenten Reflections THAT THEY MAY BE ONE R8, A FAMILY PRAYER BOOK, R10. Bulk prices apply to all these.
STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR FAMILIES in English, Afrikaans, Zulu, Sotho, Tswana R5. .
STATIONS OF THE CROSS FOR THOSE WHO ARE WIDOWED in English, Afrikaans, Zulu, Sotho, Tswana, R5.
2014 FAMILY YEAR PLANNER is still available and various other Lenten programmes and activity sheets for a Family Prayer/Paschal meal and Reconciliation service are some publications noted on the website. www.marfam.org.za
ARTICLE OF THE MONTH. Human rights and Family Rights www.marfam.org.za POEM OF THE MONTH A Culture of Life Prayer www.marfam.org.za
NEWS FROM THE SACBC FAMILY LIFE DESK.
See familydesk.sacbc.org.za created by Mariannhil Mission Press and linked with other SACBC departments. Also see www.marfam.org.za/blog for the links to family movements. See www.mariannhillmedia.org and
2014 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY 20th anniversary.
THEME: FAMILIES TOGETHER – THAT’S US!
JANUARY : New Beginnings, Towards balanced families
JULY : The Elderly and Families
FEBRUARY : Love, the basis for care
AUGUST : Gender Balance
MARCH : Human Rights and Family Rights
SEPTEMBER : Families, Diverse and Together
APRIL : Faith and Families – Together
OCTOBER : Reaching out, Family to Family
MAY : Parenting and Work-family Balance
NOVEMBER : Loss and Needed Support
JUNE : Youth and their Families
DECEMBER : Healthy Families, Hope for the Future
From THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, FOR FAMILIES TOGETHER WITH GOD
2014 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY 20th anniversary. THEME: FAMILIES TOGETHER – THAT’S US!
From THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, FOR FAMILIES TOGETHER WITH GOD
MARCH : Human Rights are Family Rights
The United Nations, African Union and all regional and national bodies recognise human rights in their charters or constitutions. In some cases these are mainly individual rights which may conflict with the variety of social rights of families as multigenerational units of different types. This complex area for the benefit of families and each of their members should receive a greater focus. The right to life in all its forms while enshrined in many constitutions and Bills of Right is too often rejected or ignored. The Church’s 1983 Charter of Rights of the Family states, “The rights of the person, even though they are expressed as rights of the individual, have a fundamental social dimension which finds an innate and vital expression in the family. All children, whether born in or out of wedlock, enjoy the same right to social protection, with a view to their integral personal development.” Article 4e.
A selection of reflections mainly for Sundays is on the website in English. Afrikaans, Sesotho, Zulu, Tswana, North Sotho and Xhosa are emailed out when available.
ACTIVITIES. More of the activities of the FL Desk are posted on the SACBC website in future.
PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY WORKSHOP
At various parish visits the International Year of the Family and publications that focus on the various themes were promoted. Similarly at the PARISH FAMILY MINISTRY training weekend in addition to giving an overview of Church teaching the implementation tools of year planner and booklets for family use were discussed. See picture.
The Special synod questionnaire and its implications was also on the agenda. IYF Parish promotions are done wherever possible. In February I visited the Catholic luncheon club, along established club, now also open to women but having an intriguing number of Old Aidanites, my late husband Chris’ old Jesuit boarding school in Grahamstown.
Family Life Desk working group. This group is still to get its teeth into the activities planned for the IYF. Bishops have asked for outlines for a family prayer, a family day and a Family Conference which will be held at Bosco Centre outside Johannesburg in September. The Department of Social Development will be holding an event in May to which the Family Life Desk and others can also contribute.
2014 INTERNATIONAL YEAR OF THE FAMILY +20.
Valuable websites
http://social.un.org/index/Family/InternationalObservances/TwentiethAnniversaryofIYF2014.aspx
http://www.viennafamilycommittee.org/
http://www.family2012.com/en/
www.family2014.org.
The themes in preparation for this year are from International Family Days in 2011 – 2013: THEMES: CONFRONTING FAMILY POVERTY, WORK-FAMILY BALANCE, INTERGENERATIONAL SOLIDARITY
The various websites also contain research papers and documentation to support the need for family-orientated poverty alleviation programmes that can have a spin-off on intergenerational support and work-family balance.
According to the UN Nations “the twentieth anniversary of the International Year of the Family (IYF) offers an opportunity to refocus on the role of families in development; take stock of recent trends in family policy development; share good practices in family policy making; review challenges faced by families worldwide and recommend solutions.” As national and regional policies are examined, we can consider if our dioceses and parishes do have adequate family policies with regard to marriage preparation, enrichment, even openness to counselling, baptism preparation family catechesis, etc? Assisting dioceses is one of our family ministry objectives. All church members as individuals, members of groups or sodalities in their individual and family capacity with their particular skills and all church agencies have a role to play in the strengthening and support of families and all their related issues at all levels. Justice and Peace and Development departments have been asked to incorporate a family focus, e.g. address family poverty holistically or work-family balance through the Economic Justice Desk. AIDS projects too can look holistically at families in their care programmes.
What is your group, sodality, RENEW group, parish team or organisation planning for 2014? Let us have suggestions; fridge magnet, candle, badge, conferences at any level, diocese or smaller groupings. Gatherings should be fun, but by building in some of the current topics can be enriching and informative.
At present the Family Life Desk and Radio Veritas are working on a Conference, possibly an enlarged version of the Annual Family Leaders conference. Diocesan family events could be held and take different forms. Different events during this year can look for ways to incorporate a family focus in their projects.
(Above poster available in A3 or A4 size for parish notice board or other promos.)
FUTURE FAMILY MINISTRY EVENTS AND OTHER NOTICES: Contact 082 5521275 for details or requests.
PROMOTION OF FAMILY RIGHTS celebrations and events as the March theme can be built into LENTEN activities too. See below for suggestions. Invite Justice and Peace diocesan or parish groups, family lawers, child and Youth Care workers to address human rights from a family perspective.
Parish Family Ministry Weekend Workshops can be held for any parishes or dioceses. Follow-up sessions are also important. JHB PFM WORKSHOPS 3 May( not 10th), 2 August, 4 October.
Many Lenten talks and actvities are planned. Check out your local options. It is to be hoped that these will incorporate a family focus as appropriate.
MAY a month for Family and Life.
15 MAY, INTERNATIONAL FAMILY DAY. Celebrate in parishes and at home building in the IYF themes, especially work-family balance and parenting. Look out for and call on Social Developent resources at this time.
CPLO event around the launch of the Government White Paper on the Family
17 MAY, IYF and the SYNOD. Conference at Pauline’s, Johannesburg .
BITS AND BYTES
HOMOSEXUALITY IS OUTLAWED IN UGANDA. Is there really something new there? Were the Ugandan martyrs not killed because they resisted homosexual advances of the ruler Mwanga? Read up about St Charles Lwanga and companions.
ELECTIONEERING is now in full swing in South Africa leading up to elections on 7th May. The bishops have issued a statement calling citizens to pray for a peaceful campaign and for voters to act responsibly. See www.sacbc.org.za The Moral Regeneration Movement, an independent civil society structure has issued its general election ethics charter. The chairperson Smangaliso Mkhatshwa says voting is a moral obligation and an act of social responsibility. Families should communicate with their young people about the upcoming elections too. Discuss party manifestos and assess the suitability of candidates put forward.
LAY FORMATION. With restructuring of the departments of the bishops’ conference and an Inter-diocesan Consultation under way to eventually develop a new Pastoral Plan the question of the role and formation of the laity must be taken very seriously. Is there effective formation for their role in the Church or in the world, which is their domain and where they evangelise? Many lay people have skills in the political, economic and social domains and these could be enhanced through an awareness of Catholic Social Teaching. Pope John Paul in 2005 wrote “A great many wonderful things are to be hoped for from this familiar dialogue between the laity and their spiritual leaders: in the laity a strengthened sense of personal responsibility; a renewed enthusiasm; a more ready application of their talents to the projects of their spiritual leaders. The latter, on the other hand, aided by the experience of the laity, can more clearly and more incisively come to decisions regarding both spiritual and temporal matters. In this way, the whole Church, strengthened by each one of its members, may more effectively fulfill its mission for the life of the world”.
WAACSA (We are all Church SA) is a group of concerned laity reflecting on related issues. FAMILY MATTERS magazine No 1 of 2014 will also address this topic. 2014 is also the 20th anniversary of the 1st African Synod. This synod gave us the image of Church as Family of God. How well has that been integrated? Not much is heard from around the continent. Dare we or should we hold out some hope that this image, which was chosen because it is particularly relatable for Africa, will eventually be adopted as underpinning a future Pastoral Plan. The International Year of Family Farming 2014. This UN worldwide commemoration aims to stimulate active policies for sustainable development of farmer families, communal units, indigenous groups, cooperatives and fishing families to combat poverty and hunger. www.familyfarmingcampaign.net
FOLLOW THE POPE(s). Preparations for the Special Synod on the Family in October are progressing. Pope Francis in his letter of 25th February invites families to support the process through our prayers.
This important meeting will involve all the People of God – bishops, priests, consecrated men and women, and lay faithful of the particular Churches of the entire world – all of whom are actively participating in preparations for the meeting through practical suggestions and the crucial support of prayer. This Synodal Assembly is dedicated in a special way to you, to your vocation and mission in the Church and in society; to the challenges of marriage, of family life, of the education of children; and the role of the family in the life of the Church. I ask you, therefore, to pray intensely to the Holy Spirit, so that the Spirit may illumine the Synodal Fathers and guide them in their important task”. He concludes as he so often does, “if there is no love then there is no joy, and authentic love comes to us from Jesus. He offers us his word, which illuminates our path; he gives us the Bread of life which sustains us on our journey.” Pope Francis has also issued a message for Lent and many other regular communications. Subscribing to www.zenit.org gives access to all these.
CORRESPONDENCE
Fr Emil Blaser of RADIO VERITAS writes : WIN TWO TICKETS for a pilgrimage to the canonisation of Pope John XXIII and John Paul II from 25 April – 4 May. “We have reserved TWO places for the lucky winner of a competition we have launched. This is a fundraiser for Radio Veritas. Competition tickets cost R350 and only 2000 are available. The value of the prize is about R60 000 (TWO PEOPLE) – all expenses paid, including R2000 pocket money. The pilgrims will need a passport and to obtain a visa. SMS your name to 35710 and Lydia or Julia will call you back with banking details. www.radioveritas.co.za for info on promotions and to offer financial support.
RADIO VERITAS broadcasts on 576AM, DSTV audio channel 870 and is streaming on the internet.
Many Catholic issues are addressed and attention is being paid to the International Year of the Family at present. FAMILY MATTERS is a magazine programme on Wednesday 9-10am highlighting many aspects of the IYF.
Research request: I am writing to you on behalf of Family and Media (www.familyandmedia.eu), an international university research group that studies the family within the sphere of social communication. The research takes a two-fold approach: how the family is presented in the media (fiction and news) and how the institutions that promote the family communicate their message and help present a better portrayal of the family in the public space. http://www.familyandmedia.eu/en/recommended-links.html
WORLD WIDE ORGANIZATION OF PAST-STUDENTS OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS: OMAEC. The organisation aims to gather and unite past pupils and sympathizers of Catholic education/schools in order for them to serve the church and society at large. For more information contact FEDERATION OF PAST-PUPILS OF CATHOLIC EDUCATION IN SOUTH AFRICA IS LOCAL OMAEC faecas.localomaec@hotmail.com
USEFUL WEBSITES AND RESOURCES FOR FAMILIES.
For contacts of local marriage and family programmes see : www.marfam.org.za and familydesk.sacbc.org.za
SOCIAL COMMUNICATIONS Desk at the SACBC. Subscribe to e-Khanya bi-monthly newsletter on www.sacbc.org.za, Southern Cross online www.scross.co.za
Mariannhill Mission press www.mariannhillmedia.org and www.mariannhillpress.co.za for printing and websites
South African Catholic Internet Resource Blog set up by Frank Nunan frank@sacatholiconline.org.
RIGHT TO LIFE ISSUES Catholic Family and Human Rights Institute http://www.c-fam.org/ austin.ruse@c-fam.org
Marriage: www.foryourmarriage.org US Catholic Bishops sponsored newsletter on marriage and family life.
www.smartmarriages.com carries numerous articles on marriage and family life.
Catholic Education: www.catholiceducation.org/updates/latest.htm a resource for educators and any adults.
Parent-teen support: www.tugoflife.com and LIFETALK are for parents, teens and teen educators.
CIE (Catholic Institute of Education) has many programmes dealing with school-parent-child issues. www.cie.org.za
For Christian movies to rent or book www.humblepie.tv. Courageous, on fatherhood, and Fireproof, on marriage are meaningful for family ministry groups. Nothing for Mahala is a recent local film.
Heartlines and their films and other resources on values are also very helpful.
Non-religious family support resources. Government Social Development departments, FAMSA, LifeLine, Child Welfare and many other NGO’s, social workers and psychologists offer counselling, marriage preparation, family education, divorce mediation and counselling, parenting, fatherhood and many more. Family Preservation is a vision and a programme.
FAMILY SPIRITUALITY AND CATECHESIS.
Suggestions for MARCH, theme: Human Rights and Family Rights
April theme: Faith and Families- growing together. “Any good religious educator should be armed with a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. That is the way to link faith and life.” Visit www.marfam.org.za for more ideas or google.
THOUGHTS FOR THE DAY, January to March booklets contain a short reflection for each day. Sunday reflections are also emailed with translations where available. April to June booklets available shortly.
FAMILY PRAYER BOOK has many short prayers and family members are encouraged to make up their own.
MARCH THEME focuses on family rights versus individual rights. 21st March, Human Rights Day in SA. Check out the Church’s Charter of Rights of the Family. As human rights are a big issue in SA parishes can organise a speaker to address this from a family perspective. Families can include the theme in their own faith sharing times, discussing children’s and parents’ rights and responsibilities.
5th March is Ash Wednesday. Lent begins. Make plans together how to commemorate this season ahead of time. Visit MARFAM’s website for Lenten suggestions www.marfam.org.za/liturgy or google for many resources. Family Prayer Meal, Reconciliation service and more.
19th March, St Joseph and 25th March Annunciation. Read the scripture accounts and share also on foster care.
Faith sharing in a family – not a prayer group – with members of all ages is a recommended form of family catechesis especially when using current themes. Even more than important it should be considered necessary for normal growth and a stable family.
As a family do some research on the lives of SAINTS, our own name saints and the FEASTDAYS for THE MONTH. See www.catholiconline.org or google to find out more.
FINALLY …
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses. Lenny Bruce
SANTA gives more to rich kids than to poor kids.
Question: if you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? If you said yes, you’ve just killed Beethoven.
“Need” now means wanting someone else’s money. “Greed” means wanting to keep your own. “Compassion” is when a politician arranges the transfer. Joseph Sobran
I have a 10-year-old at home, and she is always saying, “That’s not fair”. When she says that, I say, “Honey, you’re cute; that’s not fair. Your family is pretty well off; that’s not fair. You were born in America; that’s not fair. Honey, you had better pray to God that things don’t start getting fair for you”. P.J. O’Rourke
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MARFAM’s vision since its start in 1995 has been the renewal of family life in the Church through education and enrichment. Publications are a resource for families, educators, parishes and for the work of the Family Life Desk of the Southern African Catholic Bishops’ Conference. Read more at www.marfam.org.za/ We thank our advertisers for their support and ask readers to support them in turn. Financial contributions towards MARFAM’s ministry are also most welcome. Details supplied on request.