When I was a senior in high school I asked my dad if I could skip school on senior skip day. “Sure” he said, “you can skip all the way to school”.
Although I was mad that I had to walk to school that day, as I grew older, I realized he was making a statement.
He was teaching me the value of consistency and the importance of resisting peer pressure. I have my father to thank for the personal values I hold as a man today.
I refer to these core values, instilled in me by my father, in times of happiness and in times of hardship.
They’re the magnets in my moral compass, and allow me to make difficult decisions with conviction where many men would waver, or conform to peer pressure.
Having values, and more importantly, being able to define them, makes life easier.
If you’re asking yourself what your personal values are, and fumbling for an answer, don’t fret.
Follow this simple guide to help you define your personal values and reach your full potential as a modern man.
A Man’s Guide to Defining His List of Personal Values
This is the most complete guide available to help you define your personal values. If you’re looking for something specific, like a list of values, use the table of contents below:[toc]
What are Values?
If you find yourself asking the question “What are values?”, don’t stress. What might seem like a complicated word is actually pretty simple.
Let’s refer to our friend Webster (the dictionary dude) for a simple working definition:
value /ˈvælju/
: a strongly held belief about what is valuable, important, or acceptable
— usually plural
cultural/moral/religious values
traditional/conservative/liberal values
Her values were very different from mine.
America was founded on the values of freedom and justice for all.
Thanks Webster.
So now its clear that values are similar to beliefs.Most of the time these values are expressed as nouns. These nouns are things you believe are valuable, important, or acceptable (see definition above).
For example:
If you believe family (a noun) is important to you, something you can’t live without, then family might be one of your personal values.
Stick to nouns that help describe what’s important to you when trying to define your values.
Don’t worry if you can’t think of any yet. Below I’ll give you 75 examples of values.
Why Are They Important?
You may be the type of person who thinks personal values are too sentimental.
You may be the type of guy who says “I don’t need values, I’ve got confidence and intelligence”.
But you’d be wrong:
You need values. You need values to un-clutter your life. You need values to know how to respond in tough situations. You need values to forge lasting relationships with those around you.
Values are important because they act as a set of rules and guidelines for the events you encounter in life.
Life isn’t black and white.
Sometimes men are thrust into tough situations. Situations where the “right thing to do” isn’t so obvious. If you recognize the values that are most important to you, they can help you make good decisions.
Consider this scenario:
Your coworker stole money from your company to cover bills at home, and you caught him in the act. He has student loans and a new baby on the way, and promises he will replace it once commissions start rolling in. Your boss calls you into the office and asks if you know anything about the missing money.
A tough situation, right?
Not if you’ve defined your values, and more importantly, learned to follow them.
Honesty should be a part of everyone’s value list.
Man up and tell your boss the truth, even if it means putting your coworker in a bad spot. This might seem wrong, but there is no perfect and moral outcome to that situation.
You will encounter compromising situations in life…
…but with a system of personal values in place, the decisions you make become easier.
5 Simple Steps to Defining Your Personal Values
Now that you know what values are, and why they are important, you can begin the process of defining your unique set of core values.
Follow these five steps below to begin the process of defining your personal values.
1. Find your Zen
Deciding on your list of personal values is no walk in the park. It’s not something you can do after a 12-hour shift or a night of binge drinking
Allot several hours on the weekend to find your Zen.
Relax in your favorite chair. Go for a run. Go for a hike. Do whatever you need to allow your uninterrupted thoughts to flow.
I also recommended that you take something with you to record your thoughts. Maybe a smartphone or a good old-fashioned pen and notebook.
Once you find your Zen, you need to:
2. Examine your background
Values are like your grandfather’s Rolex; they should be passed down and cherished through generations.
Culture and Family are forever. Those two things should shape who you are as a man. Unlike your grandfather’s Rolex, family and culture are two things money can’t buy.
Examine your background and embody the spirit of your family; their traditions, strengths, weaknesses, quirks, habits, and tendencies.
Ask yourself these two questions:
1. What values does my family hold?
Before you can define your own set of values, you must recognize the values your family holds.
Maybe you had a great grandfather who immigrated to North America, started his own business, and kept it alive through the Great Depression.
He passed his values of hard work, diversity, and perseverance to your grandfather, who passed them to your father, who passed them down to you.
There’s always a reason or influence behind the values you hold.
You just need to identify where they come from in order to continue passing them along.
2. What values do I want to pass to my children?
After you have identified the values passed on to you from your family, you have to decide which values you want to pass to your children.
This may seem like thinking too far down the road, but it’s not.
You are the biggest influence on your children. Make sure your personal values are ones you are comfortable passing down the family line.
Let’s say you received some awesome values from your family.
Ask yourself how you would make sure your children receive the same values.
Maybe you help them start and grow their own business in high school, or volunteer at a soup kitchen.
Do whatever it takes to make sure that the family values are not lost.
Before we continue, I know some people may be thinking:
3. What if I don’t know my family, or it’s history? Or what if I do and it’s all bad?
If you look at your family background and don’t like what you see, start something great.
The burden is yours to make sure your children can find values in where and whom they come from.
The fact that you are starting a great value system should inspire you to work even harder to define your own personal values.
3. Examine your influences
Jay Gatsby, protagonist in Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, wasn’t born a cultured man.
Dan Cody taught him how to be one.
Although we all can’t be lucky enough to be whisked away on a 10-year yacht voyage, most of us have a mentor who has shaped the man we have become.
Sometimes that man is a father, other times a boss or friend. There are reasons why you look up to this person and strive to act like them.
Ask yourself:
Why do I look up to this person?
It might be pretty easy to identify who you look up to, but more difficult to identify why.
Once you’ve identified someone whom you look up to, take some time to observe what makes them unique. Notice how they react in tough situations, and how they treat others.
What values guide their actions?
Once you examine how your role model acts, try to determine what values they use to be consistent.
Maybe you realize that no matter how bad a situation gets, your boss never looses his cool, but instead rolls up his sleeves and tackles the problem head on.
It’s safe to say he values perseverance, patience, and poise.
Chances are, you look up to him at least in part because of the way he reacts in these tough situations
Maybe these three values are ones you want to strive for as well.
4. Examine your choices
Examining the choices you’ve made in life can help you define your core values if you haven’t yet chiseled them in stone.
Ask yourself:
Who are my closest friends?
Your friends are a reflection of the type of person you are, whether you like it or not.
Examine your friendships, how they started, and why they have endured. Often you share similar values with those you are closest to.
How do I respond to hardship? To good fortune?
The way you react to challenging or emotional situations can shed light on the type of values you hold. Some people meet hardship with emotion, while others put on a game face.
How do I treat others around me?
Examine how you interact with people.
The way we form relationships with other people is a good indication of our personal values.
If you’re the kind of guy who always makes the group laugh, humor might be one of your personal values.
On the other hand, if you like to help people solve their problems, maybe you value logic.
5. Brainstorm
Remember when your teacher made you draw those weird lists and bubbles before you decided on an essay topic or art project?
If you’re like me, then this step of the planning process probably frustrated you.
But here’s the thing:
It’s crucial to brainstorm important decisions. Take that pen and paper (or smartphone), and begin listing values that come to you.
keep in mind that you are using your background, past choices, and influences to decide what makes you unique.
If you end up with a long list that’s ok. It may be necessary to weed through your list and concentrate on the 10 or 20 values that are most important to you.
Don’t be afraid to put your list down, reflect, and come back to it. Often this is the best way to make important and life changing decisions.
Oh, and if you’re having trouble coming up with words to describe you’re values, I put together a list of values to help you.
A List of Values of Strong Men (75 Values)
1. Perseverance
Experts in any field will tell you they have failed more times than beginners have ever tried.
Don’t give up when the going gets tough. Quitting is a drug, and it’s very addictive.
“Never ever ever ever ever give up.” ~Winston Churchill
2. Logic
What do your life and stairs have in common? They both need steps.
Decide where you want to be in 10 years and plan logical steps to get there. Numbers are your friend.
3. Consistency
Consistency isn’t synonymous with boring. Being consistent means giving people a sense of comfort in the decisions you make and your actions towards them.
4. Conviction
It’s important to stick to your guns, and follow your gut. Don’t change your mind unless it’s because you want to.
It’s impossible to learn from your mistakes if you don’t have the conviction to stand by your decisions.
5. Discretion
Discretion means behaving or speaking in a way that avoids causing offense or revealing private information.
This is a great value to have in social and professional settings where you might be interacting with new people.
6. Accomplishment
If you’re the type of person who likes to set goals and then plan out how you will achieve them, then accomplishment may be one of your personal values.
Remember to always be humble about your accomplishments.
7. Humor
Humor can go a long way in making a tough situation more bearable, and shouldn’t be overlooked as a core value.
As with many values, know which situations are appropriate for humor, and which ones call for a more reserved core value.
8. Acceptance
The world is filled with literally billions of people. Almost all of who are unique from one another in some way or another.
It’s important to be accepting of people who may look or act different than we do. Oftentimes such acceptance can lead to enlightenment and joy.
9. Accountability
Accountability means owning up to your responsibilities, and taking responsibility for your mistakes.
It’s important for people to know that you’re accountable. This will lead to them trusting you more in the long run.
10. Freedom
Freedom is a value that everyone should hold dear. Don’t forget how lucky we are to have freedom.
Holding freedom as a personal value doesn’t just mean being thankful for having it, but also looking to advance it every chance you get.
11. Reputation
I’ve said it once before in this guide, but I’ll say it again here. Your name and your reputation are hugely important.
Holding your reputation as a personal value, and always striving to uphold that (hopefully good) reputation in life can go a long ways towards success.
12. Cleanliness
If you’re like me, then the state of your mind directly relates to the state of YOUR apartment.
If my living space is filled with clutter, then so is my mind.
13. Confidence
There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, but if you learn to be confident, you’ll reap huge rewards.
Not only do women smell confidence on men like cologne, if you’re confident, people are more likely to trust your decisions and give you responsibility.
14. Determination
Determination means not giving up when things get tough.
If you make a conscious decision face tough situations, you’ll find over time that situations become challenging rather than tough.
15. Honesty
Great businessmen will tell you that the only thing you have in the world is your name. Unlike ties and pants, your reputation can’t be easily replaced once soiled.
Tell the truth, even if the truth hurts.
“Honesty is a very expensive gift, Don’t expect it from cheap people.”
16. Diversity
We often learn the most from those who are different from us in their culture, race, or beliefs.
Holding diversity as a core value means more than just acknowledging that cultures and traditions differ from your own.
It means striving to expose yourself to them, and learning as a result.
17. Resilience
Remember the toy monster truck you got for Christmas in 1998 that broke the second you took it outside?
No one likes toys that aren’t resilient, and the same goes for people.
If you’re the type of person that bends, but never breaks, and always recovers quickly, then resiliency might be one of your personal values.
18. Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is similar to determination.
If you practice it in tough or challenging situations, things stop seeming so tough or challenging.
So much of what we do is about our mindsets. If you approach everything with enthusiasm, the outcome will often be positive as well.
19. Simplicity
Sometimes things seem complicated because we make them that way.
If you’re the type of person who appreciates a minimalist approach to life, simplicity might be one of your core values.
20. Intuition
Intuition is a fancy word that means “go with your gut”.
Some people make great decisions naturally, without many facts to help them.
These people have great intuition. Know yourself and know your track record before you decide that intuition is one of your core values.
21. Power
Just because you want power doesn’t make you some sort of super-villain.
Power is a motivating value that can be very helpful to your career as long as you use the power you acquire for good.
22. Faith
Faith, in a nutshell, means believing everything is going to work out in the end.
Faith is such a hard value to define because it means something different to so many people.
No matter what you believe in, believe in something, and use that belief to guide your decisions.
23. Freshness
I’m not talking about vegetables here guys.
Freshness means finding new experiences and challenges in life. Some people are ok with a routine, and happy with never leaving their city.
If you value freshness you’re not one of those people.
24. Generosity
If you’re lucky enough to be successful in life, don’t forget to give back to the world that allowed you to achieve that success.
Even if you don’t achieve wealth and fame, give willingly to help others.
25. Balance
Balance is an understated value that deserves consideration on every man’s list. This value refers to not letting any one thing dominate your life.
Make sure you devote equal time to work, family, friends, and play.
26. Tradition
Traditions are about more than items, songs, and other rituals. Traditions are about carrying on the spirit of past generations, and acknowledging where we come from.
Although tradition can be one of the most powerful values, always be mindful of the traditions you hold.
Just because something is tradition doesn’t mean it’s good tradition.
27. Dreaming
Dreaming and imagination often go hand in hand in the value lineup of the more creative type.
Dreams shouldn’t be things that come to you in the night and fade into distant memory. Some of the most important inventions in our history started as dreams.
28. Hygiene
Not only does flossing prevent bad breath, but scientists think it may prevent heart disease.
I can’t emphasize this value enough guys. Anyone can strive to keep themselves looking, smelling, and feeling good.
29. Happiness
Happiness seems like a value that would automatically be included on everyone’s list.
Who doesn’t want to be happy, right?
Know what things make you happy, and frame your life around those things.
30. Daring
Daring means taking risks. You can’t go through life afraid to swing the bat, because if you do, you’ll never hit a home run.
If you value daring you are the type of person who follows their gut, and often makes decisions with huge risks, but also huge payoffs.
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” ~Wayne Gretzky
31. Aggressiveness
Aggressiveness isn’t synonymous with violence. If you value aggressiveness it just means that you act quickly and with force.
Aggressive decision makers know what they want and do whatever it takes to get it.
This value is particularly helpful in a business or athletic setting where competitive steaks are high.
32. Calm
Being calm goes hand in hand with being logic and rational. It’s hard to make good decisions when you’re angry or stressed out.
Learn how to take a step back from a situation and just relax.
You’ll find you feel better and make better decisions about important matters.
33. Imagination
Imagination isn’t something you are expected to let go when you enter into adulthood.
In fact, a good imagination can be one of the most crucial components to a successful business.
In a day and age where it seems like everything has been done before, don’t be afraid to think outside the box.
34. Playfullness
No one should be serious all the time.
If you’re the type of person who not only appreciates taking a break and just goofing around, then playfullness may be one your core values.
35. Intelligence
Be careful with this one guys.
If you value intelligence it doesn’t mean that you consider yourself to be extremely intelligent. Tt means that you constantly strive to gain more knowledge.
Make sure you know the difference between acting intelligently and simply acting.
36. Dynamism
Dynamism comes from the work “dynamic”, which means “constant change, activity, or progress”.
A person who is dynamic quickly and successfully adapts to new situations, no matter what challenges they bring.
Think human pocket-knife.
38. Approachability
This value is important to those in leadership roles, or heads of families.
You want people to feel like they can come to you with problems or concerns they have. Often times people who are approachable are given more responsibility because they give off an aura of trust.
39. Wealth
A lot of people will say you can do things for love, or money.
Actually, you can do both.
Just because you value wealth doesn’t mean you’re selfish. Many men who value wealth do so as a way to provide for their families and for future generations to come.
40. Poise
Poise means staying calm, confident, and collected even in the toughest of situations. It means never letting your emotions get the better of you.
Strive to stay poised, and people will trust and rely on you more quickly.
41. Growth
It’s important to never settle in life.
Humans are complicated creatures that contain many different sides, and growth is possible in all of them.
If you’re the type of person who looks for the chance to learn new things at the expense of past mistakes, then growth may be one of your personal values.
42. Patience
Sometimes the only thing it takes for a situation to work out in your favor is time.
Although we often naturally develop this value as we grow older, it’s smart to strive to be patient as young as possible.
43. Obedience
This value might seem synonymous with weak, or timid, but that’s not the case.
Not every situation calls for a confident maverick to think outside of the box and take a situation into his own hands.
There is value in following directions, especially when they come from older and wiser mentors.
44. Bravery
Bravery is one of those values that is easy to say you have, but another thing entirely when it comes to actually practicing it.
Being brave isn’t always about facing danger and harm.
Sometimes being brave means making decisions that make people mad, or don’t work out positively for you. Regardless, being brave always means doing the right thing.
45. Originality
This is a value for the more creative and artistic type.
If you value originality you tend to stray from the crowd, and always blaze your own trail. Like many values on the list, this one comes naturally.
Don’t force it.
Be careful not to try too hard to be original. What seems original to you might seem annoying or lame to others.
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~Oscar Wilde
46. Peace
Peace is one of those words than can refer to many different things.
Although it’s awesome to strive for world peace, it is much easier for a man to achieve inner peace.
Inner peace means being comfortable with yourself and those around you, and living life with no regrets.
47. Objectiveness
Objectiveness means being able to look at a situation from a purely logical position, without letting personal involvement or emotions influence your decision.
Objectiveness is valuable in a work environment, and is a useful value to hold if you’re often confronted with tough decisions.
48. Fitness
Fitness isn’t often thought of as a value, but it should be. If you’re healthy in body your mind will follow suit.
Basing your life around staying healthy and fit can make it easier to act on the other personal values on your list.
49. Silence
Not every occasion calls for words.
A meaningful silence means more than meaningless words.
A good man knows when to talk and when to listen.
I could go on and on with quotes here, but the message would be the same. Sometimes it’s important to just close your mouth and embrace the silence.
50. Mastery
As a rule of thumb, every man should be a master at something.
Whether it’s business, art, or music, find a skill or hobby that makes you happy and work to master it.
51. Collaboration
In many situations, difficult tasks are easiest to accomplish when you work with others. Don’t shy away from the chance to combine minds and accomplish something great.
Look at “The Beatles”, or any other famous band.
Collaboration is an especially important value for the creative type.
52. Organization
If your physical possessions are organized then odds are it’ll be easier for you to organize your thoughts, obligations, and responsibilities.
Don’t sleep on this often overlooked but important value.
53. Frugality
Who doesn’t want to be wealthy one day? If you’re like 99.9% of America, the only path to wealth is one of smart and conservative spending.
Don’t live outside of your means, and remember what they say about a penny saved.
54. Self -Awareness
Self-awareness means knowing yourself, how others see you, how you respond in different situations, and why you respond the way you do.
Self awareness allows you to recognize when you’ve messed up, and helps you identify how to fix your mistakes.
This is perhaps one of the most important personal values.
55. Professionalism
This value goes hand in hand with punctuality, and can be used as a guiding mantra for your life.
True, many situations don’t call for someone to be professional like they would be at work.
However, knowing how to act professionally can help you be more polite, courteous, and dependable.
56. Experience
If you value experience you’ll constantly be putting yourself in positions to get more of it.
It also means that you recognize the value of different experiences you have, whether good or bad.
Experience is necessary for another value on the list: wisdom.
57. Wisdom
Wisdom is a word that often gets misunderstood. Wisdom is not simply knowledge. It’s knowledge tempered with time.
If you value wisdom you value the importance of reflecting on the different experiences you have in life, and finding ways to learn and teach from each one.
58. Politeness
Politeness is another often overlooked personal value.
Not only will it help you win more friends, it also ensures that you make a lasting first impression.
59. Fairness
Everyone’s been told by their mom at least once that “life isn’t fair”.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t try as hard as you can to make it that way.
Reacting in a way that’s fair goes a long way towards establishing other values, like trust and confidence.
60. Education
Education is one of the best ways for someone who comes from nothing to achieve great success and wealth.
Never underestimate the power of education. More importantly, realize that you’re never too old to learn. Education should be a lifelong endeavor for all men.
“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” ~Nelson Mandela
61. Sincerity
There’s nothing worse than a fake person. What’s more, they’re easy to spot. Sincerity means, quite simply, being real.
If you’re sincere you always speak your mind, even if it might not be the most pleasant thought or opinion.
62. Punctuality
Although it may seem trivial, there is plenty of value in always being on time. This value often goes along with building your dependability with others.
63. Justice
If you value justice you strive for liberty and, more importantly, fairness. Even though it’s impossible to be fair in all situations, it doesn’t mean you can’t try.
Justice is an important value because by acting according to what’s fair you gain trust and responsibility.
64. Rest
This is another value that may seem counterintuitive, but it’s important to understand when you’re overmatched, or simply need a break.
If your body and mind are tired, you will not make good decisions, so rest is an important value to consider.
65. Conservation
Conservation means keeping things the way they should be, and it doesn’t just refer to the environment.
This value is all the more important in a day and age when things around us are rapidly changing, often due to negative influences such as pollution and corrupt politicians.
66. Longevity
This is another value that is easy to talk about, but much more difficult to be about.
It is also an all encompassing value. If you value longevity you also value health and fitness.
Longevity simply means living a long time. The longer you live, the longer you get to enjoy life.
More importantly, the longer you live, the longer you get to see your family enjoy life.
67. Community
Community is an important value that often gets overlooked.
Oftentimes you have the community of places like your hometown, church, school, or sports team to thank for your success.
Don’t slack on giving back to the place that made you who you are, and striving to create community wherever you go.
68. Dependability
Are you someone that always sticks to your word and comes through in the clutch? If so, dependability may be one of your core values.
69. Frankness
People appreciate someone who is able to speak their mind and be honest.
Being frank will often times get you out of tough situations and clear up awkward misunderstanding.
70. Creativity
Thinking outside the box is one of the most valuable skill necessary to confront the curveballs life throws your way.
Great men aren’t afraid to get creative and challenge the norm.
71. Consideration
The world doesn’t revolve around you, and it’s important to recognize that as a man.
Treat everyone with consideration and respect, even if they don’t offer you the same courtesy.
72. Open Mindedness
Learning to accept new ideas is the mark of not only a humble man, but a learned man as well.
Refusing to change your mind isn’t impressive or honorable; it’s ignorant.
73. Modesty
Real men don’t brag, they let their actions and appearance speak for them.
Talking about your accomplishments doesn’t make you seem accomplished. It makes you seem insecure.
74. Optimism
The term “mind over matter” doesn’t just refer to monks bending spoons. Your mindset is the most important factor in any task you encounter.
75. Action
Ideas are a dime a dozen.
Action is what separates the haves from the have-nots. If you value action you’re confident, and unafraid to make big decisions to execute your ides.
“An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you’re optimistic about the outcome, you will achieve stellar results.
In Conclusion
I want to stress that this list of values is exactly that, a list.
It is not meant to be something you can simply adopt without following the 5 steps outlined above.
You may find that some values contradict, or that some are harder to achieve for certain people than others.
This is because every man is unique.
Thus, your list of core values should be too.
Now that you’ve gotten started on your core values list, the easy part is over.
Anyone can make a list, but not everyone can stick to it. There are two types of people: doers, and talkers.
Which type of person will you be?
Let me know what values are most important to you and your family below!
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