Author: Whitney Hollingshead
Change is inevitable and whether we like it or not, we all have to embrace change frequently throughout our lives. Some changes are great. Some changes are terrible. And some changes are well, different, but relatively neutral.
Your family may be facing a major change in the coming months. Here are some specific and general tips to help you embrace the impending change:
NEW BABY
Is your family preparing for the arrival of a new baby? Whether this is your first child or your tenth, adding another member to your family will always lead to change. No matter what your backstory includes, the present and future reality is that you will have a new baby in your home. Here are a few simple tips to help you prepare for the change:
Learn to Relax – This is not only about taking time for yourself to rest as the mother-to-be, but it’s also about your attitude. The reality is you can’t do everything! (Even though you are REALLY good at managing so much.)
One father-to-be told me recently that he informed his wife that she could either have his help in getting tasks done, or she could have them done her way (which meant she’d have to do them herself). Focus on the wisdom in this approach. You really do need the help of others now and in the future, so trust them to get things done, even when they don’t do it your way. Refrain from criticizing their methods and always express sincere gratitude for their help.
Focus on the Necessities – You want the very best of everything for your baby; however, the reality is that your baby does not NEED the best of every possible thing. Keep in mind that babies grow really fast and many “extras” end up relatively unused.
If you are stressed about what you have to offer this baby, make a promise now to yourself, to the baby, and to other family members, that you will love this baby fiercely. Remind yourself often that while you don’t have answers for all of the challenges that will surely come with the birth of this child, you do know that you will love this child with the kind of love that only a mother can offer.
Remember the Feelings of Others – With all of the pregnancy symptoms and changes, it’s easy to get caught up in how much your life has changed and will continue to change. The reality is, your entire life IS changing! Give yourself more credit and then take a look outside yourself.
Bringing a new baby into your family will affect everyone. Granted, not every family member is going through pregnancy and labor personally, but they have fears, doubts, and expectations of their own to face. Take some time to talk to each family member and give them the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings. Set some goals to help each other adjust to the changes.
MOVING
If your family is planning a move in the near future, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind:
1. Do extensive research online and in person (whenever possible) until you have become an expert on your new area. The more you know upfront, the better you will be at making the right decisions for your family.
2. Get the whole family involved in the process and let your children be involved in some of your decisions. Help everyone find things to look forward to and be willing to genuinely listen when a family member expresses their concerns.
3. If your aren’t ready to sell your current home, or if you are hoping for different housing market conditions to sell, consider renting your current home instead. Is renting your home right for you? You can read more here.
4. Find or buy used boxes. The style police won’t be out to assess your move so there’s no need for brand new boxes. Make sure it’s durable and pack it up!
5. Lighten your load. Get rid of as much of your stuff as possible before you move. Take a load to a goodwill store. Hold a yard or garage sale. Give items to friends and family. If you forgot you had it, get rid of it.
6. Remember that a new house does not have to mean new everything. Certainly you will want new and nice things for your new place, but remember to focus on what you need more than what you want.
CHANGE IN EMPLOYMENT / PURSUING EDUCATION
Your family may be facing a change in employment of some sort. Any change involving the employment or education of any family member will likely impact the entire family.
Here are some tips to apply to any change you may be experiencing in employment in the near future:
1. Remember it’s not just about you. Keep other family members in mind when making important decisions and recognize that a potentially good change for you could mean a major adjustment for another family member. That being said, you should still keep your needs, desires, and goals in mind, just don’t put them above all other factors.
2. Be optimistic and realistic. Keep your mind open to new opportunities and be willing to consider things you may have not considered in the past. If the change, presents new challenges, meet them with hope and confidence. Whether the change seems good or bad, having a good attitude may very well lead you to additional opportunities, and it will certainly make life at home more enjoyable for everyone. Remember that being hopeful and optimistic does not mean ignoring reality. Hoping for the best alone will not put food on the table, nor will it impress your boss without additional effort.
3. Adjust your lifestyle to your current income. If the change leads to a lower income, immediately set a new budget that matches the change and stick to it. If the change leads to a higher income, resist the urge to indulge in additional expenses and focus instead on saving more money. This will allow you to indulge a little once you are sure the change is lasting.
4. Discuss family goals and priorities. How will the change affect the day to day routines of your family members? This is a good place to start your family discussion. Talk about what changes will be required and have everyone give input on how to make the change as positive as possible.
Take a deep breath and read over the sections that apply to your family again. With a little planning and some strategic effort, you can expertly navigate the changes on your horizon.