As you might have gathered from my last four articles and my relative absence from Twitter, my life is very helter-skelter right now. Helter-skelter in a good way, that is.
As you know, my wife gave birth to our daughter three weeks ago. [Big congratulations to the @vladepsyker family on their new arrival as well!] The arrival of our first child significantly affected our lives, our schedules, and our gaming. The arrival of baby #2 is proving to do the same. Except in extreme circumstances, having kids doesn’t make gaming disappear from your life. But it does make you question your priorities. So I’ve been asking lots of questions like, “what games do I enjoy the most,” “do I have time to try a new game,” and “how can I help my fellow gamers maximize our game time?”
Even if you don’t have children, there are likely other priorities that threaten to crowd out your gaming. I want to help you figure out how to make the most of limited gaming time by asking three questions about yourself:
Question #1: How deeply do you commit to games?
In four years of consistent tabletop gaming, I’ve come across at least three different types of gamer: the tortoise, the butterfly, and the retriever.
The tortoise is a gamer who takes their time with a system or a campaign. They commit to the long haul, enjoying year-long stories and epic character development. Each tortoise will define “long” in a different way, but perhaps the best way to define a tortoise is to distinguish them from the butterfly.
The butterfly is a gamer who never spends much time with a system or a campaign. Variety is the spice of gaming in their minds! As such, it is rarely surprising to learn that they have moved on from D&D 5e to Imperial Assault by way of Warhammer 40k. They love to game and they love to try new games. But never accuse a butterfly of being a retriever… they won’t like that!
The retriever tends to be on the fringes of the gaming community, because he or she rarely commits to any one game. It is as though they sign up to be in an RPG campaign when — SQUIRREL! — they are distracted by another shiny new game. Retrievers tend to collect more games than they play, and retrievers are notoriously difficult to schedule gaming sessions with. Your best chance of playing with them is being the squirrel in the FLGS that manages to grab their attention for a one-shot game.
None of these gamer types is bad. Your gaming type is rooted in your personality and your time, among other factors. You may even fit into all the categories! I myself am a tortoise, when it comes to tabletop RPGs. I’m currently a butterfly, when it comes to wargames. And I am a notorious retriever when it comes to video games (much to the chagrin of my old WoW buddies… and Minecraft… and the list goes on). Regardless, it’s important for you to know what kind of gamer you are. And here’s why:
If you are a tortoise and other priorities are putting pressure on your gaming, you probably need to strategically limit yourself. If long-term campaigns are what you really enjoy, you probably don’t need to GM an extra campaign on the side, while starting a new board gaming group, all while your regular weekly game goes on. Something’s going to give — and you don’t want it to be your long-term campaign!
Same if you’re a butterfly. If you enjoy trying lots of new games, don’t over-commit yourself to one game. Don’t sign up for a tabletop RPG, when you know you’re going to get worn out after three weeks. Instead, set aside some time each week with no string attached — it’s just gaming time! And enjoy whatever game finds itself on your tabletop.
And retrievers? It’s similar to the butterfly’s situation. Set aside regular time to broaden your horizons. Show up at the FLGS with no game in hand and find one to jump into. Go on Steam and look at the hot new game and enjoy.
Here’s the key: don’t try to be the gamer that you aren’t. Instead, learn how you enjoy gaming and try to fit yourself to that. It will free you up when other priorities begin to crowd out gaming. But there’s a second question worth asking, if you feel like other things in life are crowding out your gaming:
Question #2: What kinds of games do you most enjoy?
This question applies most clearly to tortoises. If you’re a butterfly or a retriever, variety and spontaneity are perhaps the highest virtues. But this question is still worth consideration by those two groups. What kinds of games do you really like to play? If your time is limited, you need to have a crystal clear understanding of what you enjoy! To make this question even more specific, consider these three subsidiary questions:
In a given session, how long do you like to play?
What feels fun to you?
What keeps you from having fun?
Here’s how I would answer these questions:
I prefer to play games that are three hours or less. I’ve found that when I hit about the 3.25 hour mark, whether it’s a board game, RPG, or video game, my brain turns to mush. As in, I start feeling sleepy, worn out, and even headachy. This necessarily rules some games out. And that’s OK!
There are two types of games that really appeal to me as a gamer: creative storytelling and tactical strategy. That said, I actually prefer to keep them separate. I like my RPGs more fluffy than crunchy — more narratively-driven than intensely analytical. But when it comes to tactical strategy games, I like it to be punchy and cutthroat. No mercy!
The thing that most limits my fun is a feeling of pointlessness. I get really frustrated if my actions in a game are completely undone by something else: GM fiat, an over-reliance on chance, or a system of binary pass/fail. I get frustrated when affecting the outcome of a game is simply impossible.
Now you may be completely different from me. In fact, you probably are! Maybe you’re a hardcore 12-hour-session player. Maybe you enjoy RPGs that focus on combat, board games that center on cooperative play, or card games that are good for a few laughs! And you know what limits your fun. The key is this: know what you really want in a game and then play those kinds of games.
Question #3: How do you know whether you’ll enjoy a particular game?
This may sound like a silly question to some of you. But as a relative newcomer to gaming, the sheer volume of game options is a little intimidating. I’d love to play them all, but I’m a tortoise at heart! How can I know whether I’ll enjoy a particular game, based upon my answers to Question #2?
First, interact with other gamers. Talk to gamers at your FLGS about the games they enjoy! Ask them how long the game is, ask them what makes it fun, and ask about the things that you don’t enjoy. Or ask someone here in the Mad Adventurers Society! I recently started keeping a master list of RPGs that gamers here have played in the last year. Check it out and ask other players here about their experiences with those games. Of course, beyond our little nook of the internet, there are tons of other forums out there with people who are willing to type novels about their favorite games. Want to know if you’ll enjoy a particular game? Ask other gamers some good, strategic questions.
Second, play with other more invested gamers. Rather than committing to a game you don’t know, ask if you can join in for one session. Just sit in, learn the rules, and get a feel for the game. Keep in mind, those players may try to recruit you long-term. But I’d hesitate at first. Tell them you’re just checking it out. They’ll give you the space you need to figure out whether you enjoy the game.
Third — this is one I’ve been doing while burping a baby at 3am — watch demos and read reviews online. As you (hopefully) know, there are plenty of opportunities for that here on the Mad Adventurers:
potelbat YALP – live-play tabletop RPGs in a wonderfully edited format
The Independents (a personal favorite) – @cannibal-halfling reviewing independent RPGs that I’ve never heard of
MAS Spotlight – video game reviews by @agentshades
Finding the Fun – tabletop game reviews by @jayd
A Glimpse Into the Vault – board game reviews by @agentshades
YouTube, of course, is a veritable treasure trove of game demos, not least of which are Wil Wheaton’s Tabletop (for board games and all other sundry tabletop games), Team Covenant (for X-Wing Miniatures, FFG LCGs, and several others), Beasts of War (for wargaming), and of course WotC (for D&D).
A fourth option for checking out new games, while certainly the most time and budget-intensive, is attending a convention. Perhaps less expensive is attending a live demonstration, if you know of one in your area.
Choosing one game doesn’t destroy the rest of them!
This is a truth I’ve had to come to terms with. Just because I’m playing the Star Wars LCG almost exclusively right now doesn’t mean that I’ll never play Bolt Action or the Lord of the Rings Strategy Miniature Game. It just means I won’t play those right now. Once I get past Regionals for the LCG, my schedule will open up a bit. But just a little bit. I do still have two children under two at home, plus a wife and a job. I’m busy! But that doesn’t mean I won’t spread my gaming horizons further later on.
So choose your games well! Every one of us has different limitations on our gaming time, so let’s make sure we’re all enjoying ourselves as much as we can.
Are you a tortoise, a butterfly, or a retriever? How have you managed to fit your gaming style to your schedule and priorities? What other tips would you give?