Not to be confused with my Roadblock preview from March
What’s up guys, Kingzak is back in action with another column, the last of the PPV predictions for 2016. And for me, the last piece of the puzzle before I have the complete list for PPV-Star, yes the plugging for that starts now, I want to get as many of you guys interested in it now. But right now is not the time for fun with stats, it is time for predictions and honestly I am not feeling it right now.
Raw has been pretty abysmal since the brand split but usually they have a handful of feuds to keep me interested. This time there is nothing that I would say is really interesting, that’s not to say that I expect the show to suck but they have just done a shit job of gaining interesting in any of the matches. I understand the Royal Rumble is coming up but that is no reason to be this lazy, SmackDown at least made an effort for their December show. On the Raw side it has just sucked all of the dicks. Well even if the build has sucked, this column will be the usual quality … whatever that may be. So without further ado, let’s begin.
Big Cass vs. Rusev
Holy fuck nuggets, WWE has actually put some thought and build into their pre-show match, haven’t seen this happen since the September PPVs, which doesn’t seem long but with that being 4 PPVs ago it seems like a while. I think of all the feuds going on right now, this may be my favorite on the Raw side. I like that both these men have got involved due to interactions between their closest allies, it has been entertaining and despite the immaturity of the scenario it has managed to be a real storyline.
As far as the stats go for this one, this isn’t going to go very long, purely because it is a mid-card feud and because it is a hoss match, I would say this one goes about 7-8 minutes at most. As for how many stars, well it is a hoss match, so I wouldn’t go into this expecting a good match, but I imagine a fun match with lots of shenanigans from Enzo and Lana, in the end I would say this one should probably be at about 2.5 Stars.
As for the winner, I am expecting a lot of heels to win at the main event half of the show, so I think they need a face win to balance them out, so I would assume Big Cass wins here. Plus Rusev has been dominating this feud so as “reverse momentum theory” suggests Big Cass is going to win here. Not much else to say here, whatever happens here Cass stands tall in the end
Zak: Big Cass
Brother: Rusev
Dad: Rusev
Dog: Big Cass
Rich Swann vs. T.J. Perkins vs. The Brian Kendrick
Progress for the Cruiserweight division, we now have a couple of superstars that people care enough about to pay attention, the division is coming together nicely now, all it needed was a little time (Told you so). So here we have our inaugural champion, the veteran and a guy named after two things that are notoriously cunts (The rich and Swans, both massive cunts in my experience), I’ll try not to let that affect my judgement but association is a big part in names, how many Adolf’s do you know?
So onto the stats, and I think a triple threat is going to really help the cruiserweights show off what they can do, gives the superstar time to get ready to do the next cool diving thing, so it will likely up the action and allow for more cool shit to happen, So I think this one is going to eclipse the usual 2.75 Star cruiserweight match, and personally I think we see it reach 3.25. As for time, I don’t think it goes much over the usual cruiserweight time of 12 minutes, probably about 13 and a half minutes for this one.
So onto the winner and this is probably the easiest match to predict tonight, on the one hand you have your new champion, and on the other two you have the former champions. Rich is not going to lose this one, no hope in hell of him losing
Brother: It’s not Brian Kendrick, it is THE Brian Kendrick
Dad: Because there are so many Brian Kendrick’s in the world it is easy to get confused
Zak: Rich Swann
Brother: Rich Swann
Dad: Rich Swannnnnn
Dog: Rich Swann
Sami Zayn vs. Braun Strowman
I am not sure I fully understand this match … Sami got the shit kicked out of him, so he wanted to continue getting the shit kicked out of him, but Mick Foley stopped him. Now they have a match with a ten minute time limit, what happens when that time expires? Is it a draw, does Sami win, does Braun win? I don’t know and I don’t think WWE are going to explain it to us and that ruins the match a little in my opinion.
This is an odd one as far as the statistics goes, I mean we have a limit on how far the time goes, limits how much I can predict for this one and the time actually ties into who I think wins, so I will be talking about that in the next paragraph. As for the stars I am prepared to be surprised and disappointed, this is one of those matches that has a wide score for stars, could be terrible or could be pretty good. For sake of guessing I am going to say 2.5 Stars
Onto the winner and that time limit is playing a big role in this one, honestly I am thinking there are two ways this one goes, either Sami makes it to the end of the time limit just about, or Braun gets a win in the final ten seconds. I think the more likely outcome is the time expires, and Sami escapes or Braun destroys him after the match, so I am going to put Time expires as my answer, it does offer a way of protecting both superstars.
Dad: *gives answer*
Zak: That is way too long, you type it.
A minute later
Zak: I’m going to go put my jacket away while you type, I trust you not to do anything immature
Zak his gay you know: Time Expires
Brother: When time expires a third guy enters the match and he wins
Dad: When time expires then the “big freeze” or heat death occurs then the only thing left will be the continued expansion of the cosmos and will result in dark energy ripping the atoms apart so they will win by default
Dog: Sami Zayn
The New Day vs. Cesaro and Sheamus
So The New Day broke the record finally, took them long enough. I am a bit annoyed that this match is happening, just because there has been no real build to it, it’s all been New Day defending the title against any and every one. So this match has about as much heat as an igloo, but any match that happened here would have that same feel, so at least my personal favorite choice are getting the shot, Cesarmus have been a pretty good team if you ask me.
As for the stats, I am fully expecting a mimic of the teams previous title match as far as the stats are concerned, so I fully expect this one to be at around the 12 minute mark and 3 stars is rating, not enough has changed to say that it will be anything different.
On the side of the winners, there are two outcomes and I know that sounds obvious but hear me out. either Sheamaro win the titles here since the record has been broken, or The New Day keep the titles until WrestleMania, so the big question here is do I think The New Day will hold the titles another 100 days. A part of me say sure why not, but another thinks it is time for some new champions, for the sake of having an answer I am picking Cesarmus to win, but this is a hard choice to make
Brother: Who’s the current champions
Zak: The New Day for the past 480 days.
Brother: oh, let’s stick with them.
Dad: She-amus … I think the politically correct term is Transgender-amus
Zak: Cesaro and Sheamus
Brother: The New Day
Dad: The Newish Day
Dog:The New Day
Dad: We haven’t had the pornstars yet
Zak: They are coming soon
Dad: I bet they are
Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho
And thus we reach the main event half of the show, I have no idea how this feud works, Jericho and Owens hate each other, Seth and Roman both hate both of them and for some reason Triple H is also involved. I feel like this one is just secondary to the world title feud, and what was once a promising feud just fell apart and ended up disappointing.
That being said, I think this one still does have potential. You have two of the best wrestlers in the WWE squaring off in a prominent spot, this is going to be a good match here. As far as time goes, it is definitely getting 19 minutes at minimum, I fully expect it to go into the 20 minute range. As for stars I think this could be match of the night, both men are top notch in the ring and if left to their own devices I think we could easily see a 4.25 Star match here.
As for winner, I am looking at this one and thinking it really doesn’t matter, either way both of these men are going to get involved in the main event in some way shape or form so what does it matter. I get the feeling that Seth is going to win here just because he is currently someone that could win the rumble, so he needs the momentum going into the show, so I am going to pick Rollins to win this one.
Zak: Seth Rollins
Brother: Seth Rollins, I have faith in everyone that was in The Shield except Roman Reigns
Dad: all you need is a big trumpet to beat the Walls of Jericho, so I’m going with Seth Rogen
Dog: Chris Jericho
Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
We didn't start the feud, it was always burning since the world's been turning. If you didn’t sing that in your head, then you are dead on the inside. Anyway this feud just won’t end will it? We are going to be telling out grandchildren about being around for the start of this feud, it just won’t end. I fully expect this feud to continue somehow into WrestleMania so that it has been going a whole year. Just let it end WWE, there are more women on Raw than Sasha and Charlotte, there is also Bayley.
Hmmm, I am unsure of how long this one is going to go, it is really up in the air isn’t it? Of course this is completely sarcastic, this match is going to go half an hour, I’m calling it now, a risky prediction but I get a gut feeling. On the side of the star rating I have no idea, their matches have varied in star rating, from their SummerSlam match was a bit meh, to their HIAC match which ranked very highly, I am going to say they earn a 3.5 star minimum, though I am expecting it to go higher.
Onto the winner and I am praying that Sasha Banks wins so that this feud ends. If Charlotte wins this feud is going to continue into the Rumble and I think we are done with this feud, it is time to give us something new. Sasha, please win.
Brother: Ironwoman, should have been called an IronMaiden match
Dad: This is an Iron Man match, The Hulk Buster will win.
Zak: Sasha Banks (3-2)
Brother: Charlotte (6-9)
Dad: Sasha Banks (4-3)
Dog: Sasha Banks (4-2)
Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns
So wasn’t this supposed to be a US title match at one point? If that is the case why not make it a double title match, it makes sense in kayfabe, though as an actual practice it is not a great idea. Does make me wonder, if Kevin Owens wins here does he get a US title match, I mean if you can beat a champion when the title isn’t on the line don’t you get a title match.
This one is a bit of an odd match, it does seem to be a hoss battle, but you have two very athletic big dudes with some explosive offense, I think this could be quite a good match all things considered, even if it is going to be mired by interference and shenanigans. I am thinking this one ends up with a 3.75 Star rating. As for time, I am thinking this one ends up at around 23 minutes, definitely won’t go as long as the women’s match.
Now onto a pressing topic, I have seen a lot of people thinking Roman Reigns is going to win, if you are one of those people, then I have some magic beans for sale for a low low price of £199.99. Seriously Roman is not winning this one, there are so many reasons, firstly he already has a title, secondly it’s a December PPV, people don’t win titles on December PPVS. WWE also know that there would be a lot of Backlash if he won and aren’t going to do it yet. Kevin Owens wins this one, no questions asked
Zak: Kevin Owens
Brother: Kevin Owens
Dad: Anyone but Roman Reigns
Dog: Roman Reigns
Dog Predictions
Ham was available this time, so things are back to normal in this regard.
• Three tries at the tag title match, he then ate both hams and The New Day paper
• Ate Rich Swann, his ham and pulled the Brian Kendrick off my hand.
• Jericho immediately.
• to get the dogs score I offered my hand and told him to pick a finger, he chose my fourth finger and my second finger, thus indicating a score of 4-2
Zak: Any final messages
Dad: I wish I had thought about this more, and then I could have said something funny
And those are the predictions, all in all the show is looking alright, if slightly underwhelming, I can’t say anything here really has my attention and sharing my thoughts hasn’t increased my excitement for the show as it sometimes has done. Nothing here but filler until the Rumble happens, realistically WWE should have just gone for a little nostalgia and brought back the New Year’s Revolution, and I am definitely not suggesting that so that next year I don’t have to wait till nearly years end to get all my PPV-Star stats sorted.
So that is all from us for now, the last prediction column of the year. I’ll be back again soon with a Royal Recap and next Friday with the beginning of PPV-Star 2016. For now though it is time for me to bid you all a fond farewell, as always I hope you have enjoyed today’s column and I will be back soon with more, see you then.