(A Note From Steve: Seeing as how it's been over 2 years since we graced you peons with one of these glorious (no I won't give in, I won't give in 'till I'm victorious) columns, I thought it may be helpful to lay out the very few rules that you'll need to keep in mind.
If you see this...
Don't be ridiculous
...click it. It's a link that will take you to something that will supplement your Power Trip experience. That's right, we have bonus features up in this bitch. If you're wondering what it is, it's a picture of a link of chain. Because it's a link. Get it?
If you see other images, congratulations. You have the power of sight. Stevie Wonder doesn't. You think you're better than Stevie Wonder?
Enjoy!)
I think we're supposed to be talking smack to each other and stuff.
You eat poop. And you enjoy the poop. Poop sammiches, all day, everyday. With mayonnaise, notoriously the most disgusting of sammich condiments.
Oh yeah? Well, you smell like dog. And I know you have a billion dogs, but that doesn't change the fact that you still smell like dog.
We're not really good at this trash-talking stuff, are we?
I think we are excellent at it. Your dog comment legitimately made me cry. And I said legitimately so that means that it super, super seriously had to have actually happened.
This is a weird scenario, though. We're starting this while we are in the process of waiting to see who will be named winner of the Columns Forum Classic. So there's a super good chance that one of us may hate the other by the time we're done. Or at the very least be doing the "I'm super glad you won because you deserve it but that's only what I'm saying outside and I secretly in my heart of hearts wish that you would fall in a big hole and die a slow, painful sad in a big hole death" thing.
Not that I'd ever wish big hole death upon you. Publicly.
I'm sure you wouldn't. Just like I wouldn't go to a corner of my apartment and weep gently while wondering why I never win anything around here.
I'm sure we'll manage to survive. I mean, you've been here forever, and I've just made my way back to the Columns Forum. Kinda like a Prodigal Son of sorts.
Yeah, I mean you're only a two-time CotM winning former main page writing Columns Hall of Famer. Must be tough to be so criminally overlooked.
Note that this is coming from a guy who wondered the same with 6 CotMs, 3 main page stints, my own show and a Hall of Fame spot of my own.
I think we'll be alright. Maybe. But hey, no matter how it breaks down, one of us will get our first ever CF competition victory! And there's a decent likelihood that we'll be named Tag Team of the Year again just off of this one column, seeing as how rare collabs are these days.
Oh, and Prodigal Son? You know you wanted to call yourself the Shawn Michaels of the CF...
Shawn arguably had a better second run than his first, so I can begin to claim that for my own. But then again, I wasn't a drugged-out manipulative dick during my first run, so maybe it's a wash.
All these accolades make me feel like we're on some sort of trip... I can't quite put my finger on it...
Could it be...
SATAN!
All of maybe 3 people get this joke
No, wait, that's not it. Close, though.
I think it's a...
with
Degenerate and YourAyatollah
Ah, that's the stuff. I've missed this. It's been two years since the last Power Trip, and quite a lot has happened since then. Back then, we were talking about how weird Japan is and you getting confused about Puerto Rican cuisine. Oh, and we also talked some wrestling, as we don't want the people around here to go away and never come back. I'm sure we'll touch upon other topics along the way here, too. We always tend to get into the crazy topics.
Of course, we can mix all of those topics together into one, and I can throw in a cheap plug along the way. I don't know if you've seen one of my recent columns, cleverly titled "Doing it BJ Style". Well, at least I thought it was clever - I'm sure I got at least a couple of people clicking on it with different expectations. Anyway, I wrote about a wrestling show I went to that included a Salt, Lemon and Mustard match. I'm curious what you think about that type of gimmick match right there.
They'll read what we want them to read and they'll like it, dammit! I'm the law around here and you, um, used to be. Like, almost a decade ago. So the name doesn't actually make sense anymore, when you think about it...
What were we talking about? Oh, yeah, A Salt, Lemon and Mustard match.
I... I'm...
I have no idea what to think about that sort of match. It sounds almost like a really, really shitty margarita recipe. Or like a confused one.
Though this is coming from the same country that brought us CP Munk. Whom, it should be said, WWE should sign, like, right now. Sooner, if possible.
Are we talking about the same guy who got a very lucrative beating in the UFC?
No, no. We're talking about the chipmunk version of him, complete with Pepsi tattoo. Here, just look.
The squirrel version of AJ is disturbingly attractive
Though speaking of Mr. Brooks, what was your take on that whole thing? Are you an MMA fan, were you curious on a cursory level because of who he was or did you kinda not give a fuck in general?
I haven't followed MMA since Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn were in the UFC. I don't dislike MMA but I'm not a fan of it at all. That said, I did watch Punk's debut out of sheer curiosity. I was pretty bummed by what happened. I didn't know why, but my buddy Al mentioned that he was feeling the same way because this is someone who we had been watching and admiring for so many years. I think that explained it pretty well. I genuinely wanted to see him do well. I don't really understand why people were happy he lost in the way he did. I guess he does have the type of personality that turns people against him.
That being said, you can't fault him for anything. I'd gladly take a few punches to the face and almost being choked to unconsciousness in a couple of minutes for half a million dollars. I'm sure CP Munk up there has taken far worse beatings throughout the years for a lot less.
I'm actually in almost the exact same boat. I watched UFC back in the early days, when it was banned in like half the country and guys like Oleg Taktarov and Tank Abbott were mixing it up. Now I find it largely boring, to be honest, as "legitimizing" it stripped it of some of the aspects I found most exciting, like the absolute absence of weight classes and the whole tournament thing.
So yeah, like yourself I don't actively dislike MMA or anything, I just don't really give a shit. I do take issue with some of the fans, specifically those who feel the burning need to tell wrestling fans that their thing is "fake" and that those guys are pussies or whatever, but that's really just a subsect of douchebaggery in general and isn't representative of most fans, I figure.
Anywho, I kinda wanted him to do well just to see the reaction it would garner, but the writing was on the wall from the jump. The dude was in WAY over his head. I used to box as a teenager, before concussions removed me from competitive sports in general. As I alluded to in the September edition of Fact or Fiction, Punk, a white belt with no pro fight experience, had no business getting into the octagon with Gall, a brown belt who, though inexperienced by usual UFC standards, still has multiple pro fights to his credit. That's akin to me getting in the ring with any boxer who competed in this year's Olympics. I may know the basics... but it's inevitable that I'm getting my ass handed to me on a platter.
But fuck yeah, I'd take a stiff ass kicking for the kind of money Punk made. Where do we sign up?
Hey, scratch the signing up for ass kicking. Know who I just remembered existed? Good Charlotte. I know you're a big Green Day fan but how far down into the "pop punk" rabbit hole did you sink, if at all?
Oh man, that brings back memories. I was never a Good Charlotte fan for some reason. My ex-girlfriend was really into them, so I had no choice in listening to their music. But to this day I can't listen to "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" without wanting to demolish my music-listening device.
Still, I did really listen to quite a lot of pop-punk bands back in the late-90's and early-2000's. Besides Green Day, I was really fond of Blink-182, MxPx, New Found Glory and just about the entire roster of Drive-Thru Records. A large part of that was due to the previously mentioned ex-girlfriend, but even after we broke up I continued listening to all of these bands in between heavy metal and more straight-forward punk.
To this day I still listen to the whole pop-punk genre. Green Day is releasing a new album soon which I'm highly anticipating. A month or so ago a reformed Blink-182 released a new album which I spent a whole week listening to. I think nostalgia comes into play a lot with this. You recently mentioned making a large playlist of 90's music so I'm sure you have a bunch of these bands you go back to listen to as well.
A few, but not as many as you'd think. I'm something of a creature of habit, sticking to listening to the same stuff I listened to in the 90s in pretty much perpetuity. Fortunately it's a large pot I'm pulling from.
I wasn't into much punk style stuff, though. I was a big Green Day fan, at least up until the American Idiot era when they got a bit too... ostentatious? I think that's the right word? I liked Idiot when it came out, as I fucking hated Dubya, but my interest waned in the wake of it. I really, really enjoyed all of their albums before that, though, especially Dookie and Warning.
But Blink, New Found Glory, Good Charlotte, etc.? Not so much. I know what I saw on Much Music back in the day but that's about it. I was knee deep into an old school metal Renaissance at that point, digging into Dio and Scorpions and all that. That said, I did get heavily into My Chemical Romance. The Black Parade is one of my favorite albums of all time. I didn't wear guyliner, though.
That brings to mind something I recently thought of that bothered the shit out of me for some reason.
Can you imagine Undertaker, all wide-eyed in front of a mirror, putting on black eyeliner?
I never really thought of that. The thought of a rather large 6'9" man dressed in all types of dark, morbid clothing carefully applying eyeliner would be a shock if I saw that in person. But the mental image of him talking to his wife while putting on the makeup and saying, "Honey, does this line look straight to you?," makes me laugh. Some things are best left behind the curtain.
One interesting thing I discovered just now is that I Googled "The Undertaker eyeliner" and a lot of the results on the first page came from websites where people were asking what brand of eyeliner 'Taker uses. I think the WWE has been dropping the ball on releasing their own brand of eyeliner. If a cereal named Booty O's is successful, I'm sure people would buy the eyeliner. Call it "Dead Man's Eyes" or "Undertaker's Eye Maker."
Those names are the reason why I sit behind a computer all day as a programmer and am not in sales or marketing.
"Rest in Peace... but first take off your makeup. I've ruined more pillowcases..."
"Undertaker's Eye Maker"? That's... something. "Dead Man's Eyes" isn't too bad, though. Reminds me of that Halloween game where you close your eyes and put your hands into bowls of random stuff that's gross and oogy, like peeled grapes that are supposed to be eyeballs.
There's no real point to that. I just like Halloween stuff.
I was wondering something earlier as I enjoyed The Daily Show. How the hell do you watch your favorite TV shows now? Or did you ever even watch much TV in the first place? I can't imagine there's an English language TV channel over there where you can watch The Walking Dead or The Big Bang Theory and shit.
There's cable and satellite TV in Japan but the selection is so limited that it's not worth the extra cash. So I'm stuck with the basic 12 channels that all Japanese people have. And television is pretty bad here. Half of the shows consist are some sort variety television show where group of 10 or more people watch something, like news clips or some event that happened years ago, and spend the next fifteen minutes talking about it. That's it. It's as mindless as it sounds.
There are a fair amount of TV comedies and dramas but the plots are bland. There are also some shows where a Japanese company brings in a CEO or president of a foreign company that does the same thing, and the Japanese company spends the next hour or two showing them the many ways their company is superior. Not in a direct way, of course - the Japanese are too shy to do that - but it's so obvious that the only reason they bring in the foreigners is to show how much better Japan is. I feel like there's a little bit of an inferiority complex happening there. The rest of TV time is filled with the daily news and anime, which I'm not interested in either.
Thankfully, the Internet has advanced enough to let me use U.S. Netflix and Hulu here, which is where I spend most of my TV watching time. Sadly, Big Bang Theory is not on Hulu so I've missed a lot of it. The last episode I saw before moving was Sheldon and Amy getting back together after breaking up. I need to know if that lasted, dammit.
I wonder how odd it would sound to the average person if they heard us discussing grown men grappling in spandex and the romantic lives of TV nerds?
Yes, and just after discussing the makeup habits of a 51 year old giant tattooed man who pretends to be a fighting zombie for a living.
Oh, and Sheldon and Amy are still together.
Japan just seems overall weird as fuck to me. I suppose it's because the only thing I envision are the extremes. Serene cherry blossoms falling in the countryside with a beautiful mountain scene in the background... transposed with basically Gotham City from the Schumacher Batman flicks with neon everywhere and weird ass canned food and the used underpants in vending machines we mentioned in the last column that you "haven't seen".
So basically when I imagine a Japanese town it's either full on Tokyo style neon future shit or basically Mr. Miyagi's hometown from Karate Kid 2.
Is that racist or just ill informed?
Actually, you're right on both counts. Japan has plenty of areas that are full of bright lights and signs everywhere, like this spot near where I work.
It's a little known fact that all billboards in Japan must feature gingers.
But outside of the bigger cities, there are a ton of rural towns, like this place where I went this weekend.
I don't even have a smartass comment. I just want to go to there.
I really haven't found any used underwear vending machines, so I don't know if those really exist. I know people who tell me that they do exist, but only if you know where to look. I don't think I'm that adventurous.
There are all sorts of vending machines, though. You literally can't walk 30 seconds without spotting at least one vending machine, even in small neighborhoods. The majority of them obviously sell drinks, including hot drinks during the winter, but I've seen vending machines for almost everything. I've seen machines for alcohol and cigarettes, which you need some sort of ID for. I've seen machines selling hot ramen and other types of noodles for lunch. There are a few that sell T-shirts, scarves, and other types of clothing. I once saw a vending machine that sold fresh eggs that some local farmer would come by to restock daily. I think Japanese people in general are really spoiled, and when they go to other countries the culture shock for them is real
So I'm curious, seeing as how Japan is actually smaller than my home state of Texas, is it out of the realm of possibility that you may make the journey to one of the huge cities at some point? Maybe catch some WWE action when they come around? Perhaps go on a real search for those underpants machines you're so obsessed with?
Osaka is a huge city in itself. It's the third largest city after Tokyo and Yokohama with almost 2.7 million people living here. And it's such a small area, too. I did some research to compare it to Houston, being the largest city in Texas. Not only is Osaka more populated than Houston (almost 2.3 million Texans), but it blows it out of the water with almost ten times in population density - Osaka has almost 12,000 people per square kilometer, and Houston has a little over 1,300.
I hope the audience hasn't bailed on us but my wife would kill me if she knew I didn't defend the honor of Osaka.
Getting back on track, it's pretty easy to get to some of the larger cities from here. The bullet trains here are amazing. Tokyo is about 300 miles away from me, but a bullet train can get me there in less than three hours. Bullet trains can get pricey, though - last time I made that trip it was about $125 one way - so if I didn't care about my time, I could take an overnight bus for probably 20 or 30 bucks and be there in like 8 or 10 hours.
I'm currently working on making my way to Tokyo for New Japan's annual Wrestle Kingdom event in January, which is their equivalent of WWE's Wrestlemania. I say "working" because I do have a wife to answer to now and can't simply pick up and leave for a couple of days. Hopefully when she knows how bravely I defended Osaka in this column, she'll give in.
I probably wouldn't go all the way to Tokyo for a WWE house show, though. I thankfully got my fill of WWE events back in the U.S.. Occasionally the WWE does make its way to Osaka. In 2012 they had an event here which featured none other than Hulk Hogan introducing WWE's newest prospect, Kenta - now known as Hideo Itami. And last week, I bought a ticket to go to NXT, which thankfully will happen five minutes from my work spot. I've seen Itami work in NXT, but I'd love to see him again back in action. I'm really looking forward to seeing Shinsuke Nakamura live for the first time. But more than everything, I'm really looking forward to seeing Asuka. She hails from from Osaka, so her reception should be massive. She's by far my favorite part of NXT.
I know you faithfully watch Raw and do your recaps on LOP Radio, but do you watch any NXT, or even their special events like the Cruiserweight Classic?
All I'm reading here is, "I enjoy the big city life in Japan without nearly as much fear of Godzilla attack as those uppity Tokyoans."
Is it Tokyoans? Tokyoians? Tokyosters?
I do, indeed, watch NXT faithfully, along with all the other live events and various stuff like the CWC and all that. I'd love to go to a show but that seems fairly unlikely, at least without a few hours trip to do so. It's kinda weird to me that NXT is only running bigger cities while Raw and Smackdown continue to hit smaller places like my local town of Tyler. Smackdown is actually doing a show here in December that I want to attend but that is unfortunately on a Monday at the same time as Raw. Maybe I can trade show nights with someone or something and hit up the show while still doing The Late Shift that week. Wouldn't want to deprive the people of their weekly dose of me singing and ranting about stuff and going off on random tangents about the disembodied spirit of Teddy Long making tag matches and stuff.
I'm with you in digging on Nakamura, though I'm not all that hyped over Itami. He's good and all but hasn't had the opportunity to really break out due to the injury. Maybe his chance will come against Aries, though I'm honestly not a huge fan of AA, either.
I am, however, a fan of Asuka. She's scary but hot. Not hot in a conventional way but still really attractive in a way I can't quite put my finger on. Maybe it's that she's so aggressive.
What I'm saying is that she makes me feel kinda funny. Like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.
I also want to go to there.
I could never climb that damn rope back then. I wonder if thanks to the magic of DDP Yoga, I'm able to do it now. I need to find out what I was missing.
I've used the term "Tokyoite" before, but I don't know if that's even correct. I remember reading once that the older generation of Tokyoites are called "Edokko". It literally means "Child of Edo", with Edo being the former name of Tokyo.
This has to be the most educational column in LOP Columns Forum history.
I would certainly say that it is, at the very least, the most educational about Japan. And used underpants machines. That's what makes us so awesome. We provide both unrivaled entertainment and invaluable education.
Hey, how's about we pull the rapid fire thing out of the mothballs?
How fucking cool was Mr. Perfect?
On a scale of 1 to 10, at least 100. I recently watched his match with Bret Hart at Summerslam '91 and it was so crisp. He deserved a run at a World Championship, but based upon the fact that we're still talking fondly about his work in 2016, he didn't really need it.
Have you watched any of the recent work of "Broken" Matt Hardy in TNA? I personally think he's killing it.
It's ridiculous that he's experiencing a career resurgence this late into things, especially given how thoroughly he had been defined by the fans at large as nothing more than "the other Hardy" for so long. I've enjoyed all the stuff I've seen and am genuinely happy for the dude.
It's probably because I'm such a big fan of the holiday in general but every year I find myself wishing that WWE would resurrect Halloween Havoc. Aside from the obvious King of the Ring, is there any old event you'd like to see come back?
People have been clamoring for the return of War Games for a long time, probably since WWE bought WCW. I never watched WCW much, but I have watched some of these matches on the Network and I think it would be a cool, unique concept to do. I'd be curious how a WWE-produced War Games match would be carried out.
Speaking of WCW, there are rumors going on that Bill Goldberg is about to sign or has signed with the WWE again. This will inevitably lead to rumors of a rematch with Lesnar, almost 13 years after their much-maligned Wrestlemania 20 bout. Are you at all interested in seeing that?
Not. Remotely. With the clusterfuck that was their last meeting in 2004 and the fact that Lesnar is an entirely different Beast at this point, I just don't see the point outside of it being a draw based on name value alone. I mean, look at the scenarios. Either Brock suplexes him all over the ring and beats him, meaning it was pointless to bring him in at all, or Goldberg actually beats Brock which pisses away the rub that could be given to an actual regularly active member of the roster. Either way is a losing scenario, in my mind.
Are twice monthly PPVs too much or does it just provide that much more bang for your Network buck?
Fifteen or twenty years ago, I probably would have been asking for weekly Pay-Per-Views and four-hour Raws. Now, though, I can barely keep up as it is, both because of real-life stuff but also because I realized that the amount of WWE wrestling available nowadays is a bit too much. I'm happy paying $9.99 for what's already there. I have enough Shawn Michaels matches available to make that investment worthwhile.
If you had to pick one of the newly-signed cruiserweights to break out of that division and into the heavyweight championship scene down the road, who would it be?
That's rough, as I know so little about most of them. I don't know if he counts, as he isn't newly signed and hasn't officially debuted on Raw as a part of the new division, but I think that Johnny Gargano is a guy that could make waves. He's got a natural chemistry with the crowd and the talent to pull it off if given the chance. I do know that both he and his DIY partner, Tommaso Ciampa, were hyped as members of the division in the lead up to the its launch and very much look forward to the debuts of both. Especially if frustration over being unable to beat The Revival eventually erupts into Ciampa turning on and beating the sweet bejeezus out of the so-called Johnny Wrestling.
Speaking of tag teams being torn asunder, we've now been writing this long enough that a Columns Forum Classic winner has been named. In the Finals clash of the Power Trip Powers Exploding, you have earned yourself a victory. How spiffy is it to finally get the win in a CF competition after all this time?
Dude, that is still surreal to me. I keep on mentioning how my track record has been overall terrible in the competitions that have happened in the Columns Forum, but it's because it's true. I've been bounced out of the first round of so many tournaments that I've lost count. I thought it would be more of the same. But to win this, with all the former and future CF Hall of Famers, and getting by you in the finals, I would not have bet on it. I still say I got lucky. I hope that doesn't mean that I'll get a cheap shot to the back with a championship belt.
Speaking of tournaments, to wrap up the rapid fire questions, who's your pick for the upcoming Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic? I'm rooting for Team Japan.
You, supporting something Japanese? Shocking. Absolutely shocking.
The thought of Roode and Dillinger taking it is an interesting one, as it would instantly elevate Tye. I figure that'll likely happen anyways, though, as a split and feud of some sort between those guys seems likely. I'd also love to see DIY get the win but I don't expect them to be sticking around NXT much longer in general.
I guess I'm rooting hardest for The Revival. They don't need it, but a win in the Classic would largely cement them as the best tag team in the world at moment. I figure that them and DIY will somehow cause each other's elimination, leading to that title rematch at Takeover in November, but I like who I like.
As to the CFC, you earned the fuck out of that victory. No luck involved, just pure skill and a reemergence of your passion for doing this that has been really, really awesome to watch unfold. I know I'm writing this after the column is over and I'm supposed to be adding pictures and stuff, thus meaning that you can't read it beforehand and stop me or reply and try to be all, "Oh, man, it really was just luck blah blah blah,"... but it needs to be said. I brought the best I could kick out and you cruised right on through it. That Finals column, specifically, was fucking awesome. It's good to have you back.
That being said, I hate you. And I would never hit you in the back with a championship belt. I'd kick you in the teeth and throw you through a plate glass window.
Fuck you, Sherri was hot.
Damn, that's cold. Not the fact that I would have shattered teeth and broken glass all over my body. It's the insinuation that I'd be the Marty Jannetty of this team. At least my comparison would have made you Randy Savage. Although in that scenario, it would make me Hulk Hogan, and I'm not sure if I'd like that either.
In order to prevent the second act of the Power Trip Powers Exploding, I think it's time we wrap this thing up in an amicable fashion. What say you?
If we did do the Barber Shop thing, I think Skitz would be Beefcake. I somehow get the feeling that he'd be perfectly alright traipsing about with one legged tights covered in fringe and mesh while sporting a half shirt.
I guess we can wrap it up here before things go too far. We wouldn't want anyone accusing anyone else of eating mayonnaise covered poop sandwiches or anything.
Anything else you want to say to your adoring masses before I get my CFC revenge by banni... I mean... before we go back to rocking it solo style for awhile?
My parting message for this column would be that if you ever come to Japan, try some pizza with mayonnaise. You might be pleasantly surprised. But most likely you won't be. Don't blame me for either outcome.
I'll also be back on my own very, very soon, so be on the look out for that. Let's do this again sometime soon, if the people haven't abandoned us already.
Ugh. I'm fucking leaving.
Wait! We have a situation!
First of all, mayonnaise pizza is one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard of in my life. That combination of words should never, ever go together, like "candy corn ravioli" or "jockstrap incense" or "President Trump".
Second, we almost wrapped this column without talking about the new Metallica album. That is completely fucking unacceptable. I know I wounded you deep when I implied that I'm Shawn and you're Marty but damn, man, how could you let me forget that? We're just gonna put out a Power Trip where we name check Good fucking Charlotte and ignore the impending release of the surefire Album of the Year?
Whoa, we almost broke a universal law there with that. I'm sure the metal gods would have never forgiven us if we didn't talk about this.
I'm really psyched about the album, especially since I'm really enjoying the first two singles the band has released. They're loud and fast, which is what I think all Metallica songs should be about. That's what I love about these guys. I'm happy that over 30 years into this, they're still continuing to put out kick-ass music. I'm sure your opinion mirrors mine.
I am upset with Metallica, though. I've never seen them live, which is something I want to do in my lifetime. Since I moved from California, not only did they play an amazing concert at San Francisco's AT&T Park, they did a gig at an independent record shop in Berkeley on Record Store Day. The record store is just a ten minute walk from my former apartment. Couldn't they have done that last year when I was still living there?
You didn't really do yourself many favors moving to one of the few places that they barely tour at all. That's like moving to Canada hoping to see more kangaroos or something.
That said, I'm sure an extensive tour will follow the release of Hardwired... To Self Destruct and that at least a few dates in Japan will be a part of that. If they do come there, fucking go. Go. I don't care if you have to peddle your ass in Tobita Shinchi to get the cash, you need to go.
And yes, I did Google "red light district Osaka" just to make that joke. This really is an educational column, isn't it?
Anywho, I am quite psyched about the album. I liked the first single released, Hardwired, but was somewhat worried based upon interviews the band gave and stuff that the entire album would be that way. I'm sure I'd have liked it regardless, but I can't say that the prospect of Kill 'Em All 2.0 thrilled me to death. I like that they're diverse and can kick your ass via your auditory passages in multiple ways.
That's why I was so glad to hear Moth Into Flame. That song rocks fucking hard and isn't just straightforward thrash like Hardwired. If the rest of the album resembles Moth, I'm going to be an incredibly happy rocker dude.
This is almost as badass as this column. Almost.
Ah, that's much better. I think we can safely end this now without incident. Any non-mayonnaise pizza (seriously, dude, what the fuck?) related love to pass along to the masses in closing?
I guess I have to thank people for sticking with us up to this point. We've covered a lot of ground, from wrestling to music to Japanese culture. I'm proud that we have the most varied column in the Columns Forum right now. I wonder what people think of this. Oh well, who cares, we're the ones on the Power Trip. We do what we damn well please. Well, at least you do since you have that shiny ban hammer.
Kinda sucks, though. I never get to use it anymore because everyone here is all nice and shit now. It's all, "Oh, we respect you, you're such a nice guy, thanks for doing all this admin stuff and being a helper," and all that crap. There was one guy a month or two ago but he chickened out and ran away before I could bust out the old jackboots and go all Thor on him. Fuckin' nice people being all wonderful and shit.
I guess that's it, though. We've always had trouble ending these, haven't we? The inherent curse of a column that's essentially a conversation. I think last time we just stopped typing.
Much love, kids. Nothing is trivial.
Later.