F2F attack zone!
Rayman – The only thing which kept me from putting that final quarter star on the match is that I never truly believed Remington had a chance to win. It’s the one and only downfall of the reverence and respect CHIKARA applies to its titles, it’s almost unheard of for a title to change hands on the very first defense. If I give it a rewatch in a year or two with less emphasis on “what will happen” and more on appreciating the pure genius of the structure and psychology, I may inch it into that final rating. Remington is an absolute beast for his size though, pound for pound he is really incredible. You’re right that Claudio is well built but he is SO much stronger than he looks, it really reminds me of the same kind of thing. Ultramantis has indeed been around consistently since day 1, but you’ll have to wait for the answer!
Sub Mariner – See, the thing that gives me pause is that CHIKARA pretty much NEVER does the whole “OMG this is suddenly a really real shoot, you guys” (something we’re going to talk about today!), so for them to create a situation where it looks like they went “off script” would be massively out of character for the promotion. I DO think they covered it well though, and you’ll be glad to know they booked Kingston vs. Jaka in a singles match for the very next event to follow up on it! Glad you dug Kinston/Wolverine, I was rather proud of that one myself, and since CHIKARA is such a comic book influenced promotion already… :)
It’s already high on my personal MOTY list, easily top 5 for CHIKARA and I think top 10 worldwide (of what I’ve seen, at least).
I’ve not yet caught Remington in ROH but I have no doubt that I will do so and some point!
Zakington – Steen is quite the beast, isn’t he? Thanks for the read, mate!
And now, for something completely different…
TNA (Bum, bum, BUM!!! DRAMATIC REVERB!!!)
Mizfan fans, I think you all know me as a pretty positive person, and what’s more some of you might know that I’m a regular watcher and general fan of Impact Wrestling. To be sure, now the most common thing to be nowadays, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, I’ve watched TNA for the past two years and I’ve been mostly entertained and engaged with what I’ve seen actually on the screen, even while hearing news of backstage issues, lousy TV deals, and financial strain. Has everything been perfect? Far from it, the debacle of Tito Ortiz and his “August 1 Warning” will haunt me for the rest of my life, but the good stuff has always been more than good enough to keep me coming back, and make no mistake that’s still true today.
And yet…
Lately, while the good has been as good as ever, the bad stuff that comes along with TNA wrestling has truly been testing my patience. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a declaration that TNA is bad, in fact they currently house many of my favorite characters and have produced many of my favorite matches of the year, but I’ve been feeling the need to point out some of the things that I feel are going wrong, and perhaps vent just a little because a few of these things are really getting under my skin.
SO, without further ado, let’s dive right into something that’s really grinding my gears…
The Magical Tale of James Storm & Mickie James
(or, SHOOT NAMES ARGH!!!)
First of all, let me bring up to speed anyone who isn’t aware of this particular currently running storyline. First, let’s meet our players:
If he’s not telling her to run from what’s coming, he probably should be.
James Storm – Having been on the TNA roster since day 1, James Storm has long portrayed slight variations of a “cowboy” character, a reliable if fairly plain gimmick that has served him well. However, in early 2014 Storm began to present some more malicious tendencies than he had in the past, and over time his character has darkened to the point where he has gathered various lost midcarders to himself and dubbed them “The Revolution”, serving as their charismatic veteran leader. This was a positive change in my eyes, as Storm’s character prior to this change was that of a guy who drank and bellowed every word of every promo he cut and that was pretty much it, so this seemed to have a bit more depth to it.
Magnus – Hired by TNA in 2009, Magnus has for several years been one of the more promising young talents in the company. He seemed to be coming into his own when he turned heel to win the TNA Championship in late 2013, but the reign produced mixed results with some criticizing Magnus for falling victim to the heel trope of appearing weak as a champion, usually retaining his title through interference or nefarious means. Personally I thought it was a bit Flair-esque, but regardless after a decent run he dropped the title and slid from the main event scene. He is also the real life fiancé of female wrestler Mickie James, and returned to the face side of the equation when he defended her from the threats of his former friend, the vicious Bram, and has played to the role quite well, particularly during the UK tour in front of his home country.
Mickie James – After ending a high profile run in WWE, Mickie James worked extensively for TNA from 2010 through 2013 before departing the company. After some light work in the independent scene, Mickie took some time away to have a baby with Magnus, aw, wrestler babies. She returned recently to confront Bram after he betrayed and attacked Magnus in a storyline, and stood by her fiancé as he took his revenge.
Having set the stage, let me paint you a picture of how this crazy thing went down…
Near the end of the Magnus/Bram feud, Bram had cornered Mickie James in a situation where Magnus was unable to help her. Instead of her fiancé, she was rescued by none other than James Storm, who seemed to be showing more of his old cowboy side with very little of his darker nature on display. When asked about it, Storm admitted that though they had rarely interacted on screen he does consider Mickie a friend, in part due to their shared “country” background (even having worked together on Mickie’s real life music career), and furthermore was raised to believe a woman should not be threatened so he took action on the spur of the moment. Mickie was thankful for Storm’s help, as was Magnus though he also seemed wary of Storm from the start since he had been around during Storm’s darker phase, and Mickie had not.
After the conclusion of the Bram feud, Mickie James announced her retirement from wrestling to focus on her family life, only to be interrupted by the friendly version of James Storm, who encouraged her not to retire and to wrestle at least one more match. After Storm drummed up enthusiastic crowd response for the idea, Mickie agreed that she would consider staying on. Over the next several weeks Storm would continue to shower Mickie with attention and encouragement to pursue her career dreams, and though he put on an extremely friendly face throughout these interactions when he was seen apart from Mickie he would revert to his darker state. Magnus became very uncomfortable with the entire situation, especially when Storm began to mention the child Mickie and he had recently had. Storm even tried to give Mickie and the baby gifts, and eventually Magnus felt the entire situation was out of hand and attacked Storm when he refused to back off. Mickie was not happy with the action of Magnus, taking Storm’s friendliness and gifts at face value, and with Storm’s encouragement on the June 3rd edition of Impact she traveled to Nashville to meet with producers about her music career, another interest Mickie had been pursuing frequently in recent years.
In a scene that I found very creepy and effective, Mickie arrived at the studio to find it empty except for Storm, who assured her multiple times that the others were “coming soon”. Over the course of the meeting, which grew more and more uncomfortable as Mickie, Storm, and the cameraman sat alone, Storm hinted at and finally stated outright that he believed Mickie should leave Magnus and join him, both personally and as part of the Revolution stable. Mickie outright refused him and told him if that was the purpose behind all of his actions and gifts, that he should just forget about the whole thing. After what I found to be a particularly nice bit of subtle acting from Storm, whose eyes seemed to go dead at the response, he snapped back to his friendly smiles and told Mickie that he had misunderstood the signals he received from her and if she was not interested he would not push the matter. Mickie decided to reschedule her meeting and leave, and agreed to allow Storm to walk her out of the building.
Pictured: The Good Part
All of this, all this stuff that I have just talked about, was fine, in fact I’d go so far as to say that a lot of it was really good, it was subtle storytelling with character nuance and seemingly a long term goal, most obviously to give Magnus and Storm a hot, relatable issue to feud over, but also ideally to find a way to make further use of the considerable talents of Mickie James for either a short or long term in ring prospect. All good, that’s the kind of underrated storytelling I’ve come to expect from TNA.
But before that show was over, it would all go terribly, horribly, unsalvageable wrong.
Storm & Mickie exit the studio, and the camera man who had been following them is mysteriously nowhere to be found. TNA usually makes a point to actually acknowledge their camera man, so this is a bit odd but wrestling cameramen are always a bit ghostly so that’s not a deal breaker. Instead we are watching footage from what appeared to be a security cam. How did this footage get to Impact? Again, it’s not an uncommon wrestling convention, so let’s try to roll with it. Storm and Mickie are walking by what seems to be a… train station? Did Mickie come here by train? Is the studio a part time train station? Ok, I don’t know what studios are like in Nashville, so maybe this is… normal? What’s happening now? James Storm steals Mickie James phone, and he… pushes her… onto… the train tracks…
Pictured: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Uh oh. Sound the alarms, this thing is getting off the tracks (no pun intended).
Mickie screams after being pushed, then falls off-screen and doesn’t make a single sound for the rest of the segment. It’s not really clear why, did she hit her head and get knocked out? Was the Revolution waiting there to kidnap her? Is she dead? Storm chuckles and says that it’s a long way down, which doesn’t clear up anything because I’m pretty sure it’s like four feet at most. Or is this a special Nashville “extra deep” trainyard? I have no idea, but it’s about to get worse.
Storm uses the phone to call someone, whom he calls “Nick”. This is meant to mean Nick Aldis, the “shoot name” of Mangus.
I will lose my mind about this particular fact in due time, but moving right along.
“Nick,” Storm drawls. “It’s good ol’ Uncle James. Calling to let you know Mickie won’t be making it home for dinner. Heheheh…”
So, at this point, Storm is clearly meaning to either kill or kidnap Mickie James. Honestly, I’m praying hard for kidnap at this point.
Oh wait, what’s that noise? It’s the noise of an oncoming train about to enter the station.
Yup, James Storm is trying to murder Mickie James with a train.
James Storm walks away. End scene.
…
That’s it, there isn’t anymore. Is Mickie James dead? I assume so, because she was about 30 seconds from being run over and was apparently too incapacitated to even make a sound.
Is anyone concerned that we just witnessed attempted murder? Nope, we immediately cut to commercial and when we come back Madison Rayne is in the ring complaining that she doesn’t get enough TV time. Madison, a person just DIED, do you think your problem can wait for a second?
But as far as I can tell, nobody even mentions the scene again for the rest of the night. So long Mickie, hope you had a nice life!
But don’t you fret, dear readers, because it turns out Mickie is alive and well, because the Impact Wrestling website posts that Magnus called the police and Mickie James was rescued and is not hurt, although she is shaken up. They also condemn the “borderline criminal” actions of James Storm.
Ok, so let’s examine this. I’m sort of afraid to, but I’ve started down this road and now I can’t stop.
So first of all Mickie James is fine, apparently. She fell “a long way” and was incapacitated enough to go completely silent upon smashing into the ground, but she’s completely ok, so… I guess no harm done? But she’s shaken up, because apparently getting nudged off a ledge is enough to make a +10 year ring veteran too upset to do anything. Maybe it’s because she’s a mother now or something…? Nobody has really gotten into it at any point, so let’s not hold our breath.
More impressive, I think, is the fact that Nashville has police that can teleport! Because despite Magnus not being informed of his wife’s danger until the impending train was well within earshot, he had time enough to call the police in a completely different state and direct them to the exact location to rescue his wife, who don’t forget was apparently unconscious but also totally unhurt. Not only must these police have been able to teleport to the scene, but I think they must also be able to read minds or sense danger or something. Does Clark Kent work in Nashville PD? Did he hear the danger with his super hearing and fly faster than a speeding bullet to scoop Mickie up? We are left to assume this must be the case, based on the facts provided.
Seems legit.
But I think it all pales when you look at the fact that after all this, including on screen attempted murder, the actions of James Storm are labeled as “borderline criminal”. That’s it. Try to murder someone with a train, oh boy, watch you! You’re really close to breaking the law! What would they have done if she died, rapped him on the knuckles? Maybe some community service?
Now please don’t get me wrong here mizfan fans, I’ve got no problem suspending my disbelief as far as humanely possible if I’m presented something that makes sense within context. Heck, I watched Deucalion “kill” a whole bunch of people in the 2014 CHIKARA season, but because everything was internally consistent I was able to get completely engaged with the storyline and enjoyed the heck out it. But TNA doesn’t present their product that way, everything is supposed to be more or less grounded in reality. Even mildly cartoonish stuff like Joseph Park and Abyss not knowing they are the same person, or Samuel Shaw stalking Christy Hemme, is well within the bounds of wrestling convention.
But get this, remember when I said that immediately after the attempted murder segment we came back to Madison Rayne in the ring? In that very same segment, she was attacked by Velvet Sky, who is currently fired within the storylines of TNA. Within this segment, Velvet Sky was arrested because she was regarded as a fan attacking a wrestler.
So, in terms of consistency, if you jump the rail and touch a wrestler then off you go, but if you try to murder someone with a train, well shame on you but you’re good to go.
It makes me want to tear my hair out of my head.
And honestly, out of all of this, I really think the worst, the absolute worst thing, is that Storm keeps calling Magnus “Nick” even as the storyline continues to progress (last week’s Impact included Storm pretending he had kidnapped Magnus’ baby and superkicking a baby off the stage, which I expect will cause Snitsky to sue for copyright infringement).
“Shoot names”, this is called, as “real names”.
Homer knows what I’m talking about.
As far as I can tell, the reason to use “shoot names” is to attempt to say to the fans “Hey look! This storyline is so really real you guys! It’s so real, these guys aren’t even using those ‘fake’ wrestling names anymore! That’s how really super real this is, you guys!”.
The problem that always arises, at least in my mind, is that it is also saying “Hey! Look at how fake wrestling is! All of wrestling is fake, you guys! Except this story, this story is really real, and these guys really hate each other for really reals! Now go back to watching that fake stuff, but don’t forget this story is the really real one!!”.
It makes me want to stick my head into a garbage disposal, because that would be less painful that thinking about this trope and how it continues to pop up every now and then in the wrestling world.
Seriously though, what on earth is the inference we are supposed to take away? So within the storyline, “Magnus” is really just Nick Aldis, but “Ethan Carter III” is really Dixie Carter’s nephew and not Michael Hutter? Some wrestling stories are more “real” than others? And it just so happens that the “really real” story is the same one that includes attempted murder and punting baby carriages?
It feels like TNA wants to have it both ways, they want certain storylines to be taken at face value with any weird things hand waived away as storyline convention, and other storylines are “really real”, so much so that the 4th wall cannot even contain them. Of course, it all gets especially strained to the breaking point when they try to have both things in the EXACT SAME STORY!!!
The more I think about it, the angrier I get. This is the same company that has quietly telling some of my favorite stories in wrestling over the past few years, from the reign of Bobby Roode to the dream of Austin Aries, from the turn of Bully Ray to the fall of Dixie Carter, and not to the beautifully crafted relationship between EC3 and Rockstar Spud. To see something like this happen makes me wonder just what the hell is suddenly happening backstage that we could drive this far into left field so fast… more on that later, but for the time being let me just say that this particular angle has become very rough to watch, and as I am writing this before having a chance to see this most recent episode of Impact I can only hope things have not gotten worse.
The sad thing is, Magnus and James Storm could have surely had a perfectly entertaining feud, maybe even a great one if they hadn’t taken a swerve into looneyville. Missed opportunity, and really for no good reason.
Sigh…
Ok, that’s all the ranting I’m going to do about that for now, so let me end this on a positive note with a little section I like to call:
AWESOME THINGS IN TNA
THIS GUY
What’s awesome in TNA right now? I can answer that with two letters and one number, it’s EC3. In over 10 years of watching wrestling, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a better booked, more organic rise to the top than the one we have seen for Ethan Carter III. From his great character to his masterful adlibs, from his ability to work the crowd to the nuanced relationships he has built with so many members of the roster, it has been an absolute joy to watch and I can only hope we are now on the very brink of seeing this very deserving young talent ascend to the top of the mountain for the very first time. EC3 is one of the best things in wrestling right now bar none, and I would sit through a train running over half the Impact roster for a chance to see him shine.
And speaking of shining (and rough segues!), I will shine some light on the latest STCF with some ANSWER TIME!!
Back in the world of CHIKARA, it’s an interesting footnote that though Mike Quackenbush and Ultramantis Black have both been in the promotion since day 1, it is actually Kevin Steen of the three who has had two shots at the CHIKARA Grand Championship, first at 2012’s “Hot Off The Griddle” and again at 2013’s “While The Dawn Is Breaking”. Mike Quackenbush only fought for the title once, losing to Eddie Kingston in the match that began the first ever reign with the belt, and amazingly Ultramantis Black has never had an opportunity to challenge… yet!
Steen, pictured here doing… HEY, this is a family friendly company!
We had three lovely guesses this time around, and it was Ray and Zak who got this one right! Zak continues to lock up third place, while Ray closes the gap towards first. Just a few of these left, so keep it coming!
Subho – 17 Points
Rayhagan1 – 16 Points
Kingzak13 – 6 Points
MI_Fan – 3 Points
Mr Chop – 1 Point
Zzzorf – 1 Point
And now for today’s QUESTION TIME!!
Stump the CF!
We talked about some lame attempts at murder today, but in 2014 CHIKARA had a whole slew of “deaths” that were perfectly presented and executed (no pun intended) within the context of the CHIKARAverse. What was the final bodycount of that season’s “big bad”, Deucalion?
A. 6
B. 8
C. 10
More sins to recount tomorrow! Until then, mizfan fans…