Welcome to a big edition of The War-Log, our first Pay-Per-View Special where Wrestlinsight takes you through the battle between the three top wrestling promotions of the 1990s. This war for TV ratings and PPV buyrates would come to be known as The Monday Night War, where the WWF and the WCW sought a bitter end to their competitors- by any means necessary!
But there was a third power in this war, and so The War-Log will also document the history of the ECW- a promotion that for many was the innovator of the brand of wrestling that would take the fore-front in the late 1990s, and cultivated many of the top wrestlers and styles that the big guns would fire at one another.
This is our first Pay-Per-View Special, and to make this even bigger, I’m going to be including our first look at a WCW show! WCW have been kept off these columns in the past because their big weekly show, Nitro, has not yet begun- however, WCW were running PPV events back in 1993 and so we’re going to bring them into the mix to see how their big event held up against the competitions and give you guys an oversight of what the other big company was doing at this point!
Let this titanic battle commence!
WAR-LOG :: MAY-JUNE 1993.
WCW Slamboree I – 23 May 1993
I want to pre-face this review by pointing out that this will be the first WCW pay-per-view I have ever watched in full, let alone put to paper. I was a WWF kid growing up, and added TNA and ROH to my viewing habits before deciding to go back in time. I’ve obviously seen highlights and segments and a few matches, but this is my first proper exposure to WCW’s product uncut and uncensored. As a result, I would expect this to be my first introduction to many names and storylines, so enjoy this with me as we discover a bunch of things for the first time together!
The show kicks off live in The Omni Arena, Atlanta, with the banner for the first-ever Slamboree event, and it’s subtitled “A Legends’ Reunion”. I was under the impression that pretty much describes WCW’s entire main event scene.
The ring is packed with a host of wrestling legends all clad in their finest, the commentary team pick out Dory Funk Jr, Verne Gagne, Nick Buckwinkle, to name a few.
We go live to Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko (suddenly I’m thankful for how easy Jay Sulli’s name is to spell.) The commentators introduce us to the show before sending us to Maxx Payne who apparently is our live music for the evening. Not to be confused with the video game character of the same name, Maxx is a heavy metal guy who I have never heard of. I won’t be downloading his albums. Carried to the ring in a queen’s litter is the FABULOUS MOOLAH, joining the legends in the ring. I’m not sure why she got the custom entrance, but she’s certainly deserving of it.
We cut now to ERIC BISCHOFF, who at this time is a backstage announcer/interviewer but who was vying for the role of Executive Producer of WCW to replace the recently departing Bill Watts.
Eric is with MISSY HYATT. Missy talks with Eric about the upcoming show, and I was about to compliment WCW’s production values- even in 21 years later, this show looks crisp and professional. Of course, as I’m about to type this, a “technical issue” causes the lights to go out, leaving Missy and Eric to chat in complete darkness.
Our first match of the night is “BEAUTIFUL” BOBBY EATON & CHRIS BENOIT VS. 2 COLD SCORPIO & MARCUS BAGWELL. I’m excited to see these four in action, as I’m familiar with all four men and I know they can go in the ring. Even if Benoit is wearing some weird zebra print tights..
Within 30 seconds of this match, I’m watching wrestling that is faster, more technical, and better produced than anything I’ve reviewed on The War-Log to date. The commentary is crisp and exciting too.
Bobby and Benoit are using heel tactics to control the early part of the match. Scorpio eventually gets the hot tag to make a comeback with a beautiful spinning top rope splash, which I haven’t seen in a long while. He follows with a beautiful corkscrew leg drop and Scorpio and Bagwell get the win. I would have liked to see the match go longer, but what was there was fantastic action. Really hot way to start off Slamboree.
We go to our next match of the night, as Van Hammer enters the ring. He’s a beast, but I’ve no idea who he is honestly. He’s joined in the ring by Col. Rob Parker, who a quick Google tells me is the future Tennessee Lee in the WWF. Thought I recognised that hokey Southern drawl. Parker introduces his man for this match, and the arena explodes as it’s the WCW return of SID VICIOUS! Vicious is making a return after a couple of years in WWF as Sid Justice.
The match is under way, it’s “HEAVY METAL” VAN HAMMER VS. SID VICIOUS. Well, it’s not really. Sid hits his big Powerbomb and the match is over. The fans cheer like man as Sid heads to backstage.
The next match is apparently the first of three “Legends” matches we have tonight, it’s a 6-man tag team match, “DIRTY” DICK MURDOCH, “MAGNIFICENT” DON MURACO, “SUPERFLY” JIMMY SNUKA VS. “CHIEF” WAHOO MCDANIEL, BLACKJACK MULLIGAN, “JUMPIN'” JIM BRUNZELL.
The first thing I’m noting is that ECW must not be dealing out exclusivity deals at this point, as regular readers will be very familiar with Snuka and Muraco as part of the Dangerous Alliance over on ECW’s weekly show. The other thing I’m noting is how willing WCW is to pay homage to the wrestling business as a whole, and the people that came before. By contrast, WWF to this point is quick to repackage old names and create their own stars- already, in 1993, they rarely mention other wrestling promotions or anything that didn’t happen on WWF television. WCW is quick to do the opposite, dedicating this whole PPV to the legends and promotions that came before.
This isn’t a pretty match- almost everybody in the ring is sporting a beer gut and balding hairlines, and Snuka has the best physique of the bunch. The wrestling is noticeably slow and brawl-heavy compared to the previous tag match. Credit where it’s due, it was shocking to see Murdoch pull out a flying headscissors and none of the guys in this match seem to be flagging.
All six men get in the ring and it breaks down, and the referee throws this one out. Disappointing result but logical in a sense- they wanted all six of these old school legends to look good, so “no declared winner” helps that.
Missy Wyatt is at ringside to interview THE ASSASSIN and MAD DOG VACHON. I’ve never seen Mad Dog before, but I know that he’s the father of Luna Vachon, and it’s so strange to realise that he sounds just like her- same gravelly voice that makes your skin crawl. The Assassin speaks next, and he’s issuing an open challenge to Dusty Rhodes, any time, any place. This would actually be the Assassin’s last appearance for WCW, as he would then go on to open the famous Power Plant training facility. Guess “any time any place” translates to no time, no place.
Our next legends match is up; it’s a tag team match featuring “THE RUSSIAN BEAR” IVAN KOLOFF & BARON VON RASCHKE VS. THUNDERBOLT PATTERSON & BRAD ARMSTRONG.
Patterson comes to the ring alone and tells us that his scheduled partner, “Bullet” Bob Armstrong has had a knee operation and won’t be coming to the ring. Just as it looks like a handicap match, “Bullet” Bob’s son- no, not Road Dogg, it’s the other one- Brad Armstrong, comes running to the ring to take his place, and the match is under way.
The heels dominate the early part, with Von Rashke getting his patented Claw hold on Armstrong but Patterson gets involved and a double chop to the throat from Patterson, and the Face team wins the match. Definitely nothing to write home about here. But I had to. Because I write columns. It’s a blessing and a curse.
We go to our next segment which is a special live edition of Flair For The Gold, apparently. It looks like some kind of talk show, and I actually recognise the set from clips and promos we’ve seen countless times on WWE programming.
“NATURE BOY” RIC FLAIR is live, promising to reunite the original Four Horsemen. Flair first introduces Double A, “THE ENFORCER” ARN ANDERSON. Arn promises that he’s taking home the NWA World Championship tonight.
Next up we have OLE ANDERSON who tells us we can’t trust Windham and Blanchard, as they’ve no-showed the reunion tonight. So instead, Flair introduces the newest Horseman, “PRETTY” PAUL ROMA. Flair and Roma tell Austin and Pillman that they’re coming for them, and we go back to the commentary booth. Nasty bait and switch there from WCW, as the fans were obviously hyped to see the original line-up and instead they got… Roma?
The final legends match is on next, it’s DORY FUNK JR. VS. NICK BOCKWINKLE in what the commentators are dubbing NWA vs. AWA. Johnny Valentine joins the commentary team for this match. Both these guys are legends, but they’re looking out of shape here and my hopes aren’t high.
Even from the outset, I can see this is going to be some old style mat wrestling, which doesn’t come as a massive surprise. Turns out they’re even using the 15 minute time limit system for this match too, and I’m wondering if that’s the obvious outcome here. Both men are sweating like hell, and I don’t have a clue how- compared to modern standards, they’ve barely done anything. That may be attributed to their physiques though…
We see a suplex followed by a piledriver at the 2 minute mark, and those are the only times anyone’s feet have left the mat. A spinning toehold is reversed into a small package, a back-slide is reversed into a figure four leglock, and the match finishes with a time limit draw. I highlight each move because that’s what this style of wrestling does- when there’s so few moves in a match, it means that each one counts for something. I won’t call this a bad match because honestly, it’s just a very different style to what modern audiences are used to and was an interesting education on where wrestling came from.
We go to ringside with Eric Bischoff and his guest, LOU THESZ. It’s a drive by interview to get another face on the screen, Lou is just happy to be here apparently.
The next match is “RAVISHING” RICK RUDE & “MR WONDERFUL” PAUL ORNDORFF VS. “THE NATURAL” DUSTIN RHODES & KENSUKE SASAKI. Running this match straight after Funk/Bockwinkle makes this match feel hyper fast paced. Rhodes/Sasaki are the fan favourites and they actually dominate the early match. The future Goldust is young here, only having wrestled for a few years. The fans are firmly in his corner though following a heel turn from his former partner, Barry Windham. He plays hero-in-peril perfectly before getting the hot tag to Sasaki. A flurry from Sasaki puts Rude on the defence, but interference from Orndorff sets up the Rude Awakening and the pinfall for Rude/Orndorff. This was a prototypical tag match and a nice pace changer following the legend bouts.
GORDON SOLIE is in the ring to introduce the first inductee into the WCW Legends Hall of Fame. Solie actually looks nervous to be doing this, and is visibly shaking. He also accidentally calls himself an inductee, and then claims that he’d like to mention some passed-away “living legends”. Surely not so “living” at this point, eh?
The first inductee is Lou Thesz, the second is Verne Gagne. The third is Mr. Wrestling II, and the final is a post-humus induction for Eddie Graham.
Our next match is up next, it’s STING VS. THE PRISONER. This is the first and only match that The Prisoner had for WCW, following his stint in WWF as Nailz. Nailz was released from the Federation due to a physical confrontation with Vince McMahon, and Eric Bischoff couldn’t resist snapping him up and throwing him into the ring using the Nailz gimmick with a new name. I guess in his haste to annoy McMahon, he missed that Nailz was just plain awful.
Sting is ripping off The Sandman's surfer gimmick, of course, and the match is fairly atrocious and ends fairly quickly following a top rope crossbody from Sting when The Prisoner’s back was turned. The Prisoner’s performance was so bad that he’d be kept on a WCW contract to sit at home and do nothing. So no, you guessed it, this probably won’t be winning Match of the Week. Sorry Stinger.
We finally get a tag team championship match next, and it’s inside a steel cage. The champions THE HOLLYWOOD BLONDS (STEVE AUSTIN & BRIAN PILLMAN) (c) VS. RICKY “THE DRAGON” STEAMBOAT & SHANE DOUGLAS. The latter are in full luchadore get-ups including matching body suits, masks, and sombreros. One of them- I think it may be Steamboat- takes the mic and tells us the suits have been so lucky, they’re going to wear them again. The story was that the Blonds refused to grant Douglas/Steamboat a re-match so they got themselves a shot by pretending to be the Dos Hombres, mexican luchadores. In fact, this gimmick was created to hide the fact that Shane Douglas had been fired from WCW and that under the mask, it was actually Tom Zenk- a cunning way of getting through one of Douglas’ advertised dates without granting him the pay rise he was demanding.
The match itself is a fast paced affair, with loads of back-and-forth action. Steamboat takes the brunt of the work for his side, presumably to hide the fact that Shane Douglas isn’t really in the ring. Meanwhile, the Blonds make quick tags in and out, and it doesn’t take long for the cage to get involved. The future Stone Cold, “Stunning” Steve even gets hung upside down from the corner, allowing one of the Hombres to get a big splash in the corner.
Steamboat finally unmasks to get the pop from the crowd, and hits a massive cross body from the top of the cage. Bizarrely, the bell rings but the match wasn’t supposed to end- The ref waves it off- and knowing what we know now, it’s clear that there was no way WCW could let that mistake fly, as they likely wanted to drop the fake Douglas shtick ASAP. The match continues just briefly, to allow Stunning Steve to hit the Stun Gun on Zenk-Douglas for the win and the title defence.
Eric is backstage with DUSTY RHODES, MR. WRESTLING II, and STU HART. Dusty accepts The Assassin’s challenge, which we now know wouldn’t come to be. Mr. Wrestling is happy to be here, and Stu Hart wishes luck to his son-in-law for the main event tonight.
The next match is BARRY WINDHAM (c) VS. ARN ANDERSON for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. This one has a big match feel, as it’s Horseman vs. Former Horseman. Schiavone points out that Windham has been calling himself the Lone Wolf, so it’s Horse vs. Wolf. Not buying that one myself, but I guess it would work on a banner.
This match wasn’t likely to be a technical affair, and sure enough it doesn’t take long for Windham to get bloodied up at the bare hands of The Enforcer. It’s Anderson’s game from this point, as he punches and suplexes Windham around the ring, eventually hitting the Double A Spinebuster only for Windham to leave the ring, grab his belt and head towards the back.
Anderson runs him down the ramp and right back into the ring, but a burst of temper makes Anderson put the referee down allowing Windham to use the title belt as a weapon and steal the win, and the championship. Really decent match despite the finish, and I enjoyed the by-line that there was too much emotion on the part of Anderson which cost him the victory.
It’s time for our main event next, and it’s for the WCW World Heavyweight Title. It’s BIG VAN VADER (c) w/Harley Race VS. DAVEY BOY SMITH.
Harley Race is at ringside for the champion. Davey starts out strong, suplexing Vader over, but it doesn’t take long for the heel champion to take control and begin grinding Smith down, including a Vader Bomb which Smith kicks out of. The match becomes the story of Smith’s struggle against the rough tough champion and his cheating manager. Vader impresses with his agility and willing to do top rope manoeuvres, given his massive size.
Smith begins to make a comeback, and Race’s interferences become more blatant, but apparently it takes Vader swinging a definitely-not-foldable chair at Smith’s head for the referee to disqualify Vader and throw the title match out.
Vader doesn’t care, and he wants to Powerbomb Davey Boy through the mat- but Sting is out here to make the save. Vader leaves with the belt as Sting calls him out.
The main event is over, but we go to ringside where Eric is joined by MAGNUM T.A. Magnum gives his low down on the main event, and VERNE GAGNE joins the commentary team to give similar sentiments. He also puts over WCW as the “king of wrestling.”
Don’t trust the banner- neither of these men are Shane Douglas.
WWF King of the Ring 1993 – 13 June 1993
We kick off the inaugural King of the Ring extravaganza (read: pay-per-view) with the growling growls of Vince McMahon as he runs down the tournament brackets. We’re taken to ringside with “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, and Jim Ross, who really needs a nickname… Something quick, something catchy. Nope, I got nothing.
We go straight into the first match on the tourney, it’s RAZOR RAMON VS. BRET “HITMAN” HART. The early match is Razor dominating the smaller Hitman. An attempt at the Razor’s Edge allows Bret to slip out for a backslide which gets the crowd on its feet thinking the match is over. It’s not, and both men go top rope- Bret manages to counter the back suplex and lands on top of Razor for an anti-climactic win. My predictions are 1-0, but that was definitely not the best match these two will go on to have. From what I remember of old King of the Ring matches, this was common- dud finishes in the early brackets to save the big moves for the later matches.
The next match is MR. HUGHES VS. MR. PERFECT. The winner gets to keep the Mister name. Okay, that’s a lie, but the winner does advance to face Bret Hart. For that reason alone, I’m putting all my chips on Perfect; that’s a match I want to see. Perfect manages to do an awesome back-hand throw of his towel to land it perfectly on Hughes’ shoulder. I think it was brilliant, but Hughes doesn’t look especially impressed. It’s hard to tell because he doesn’t have facial expressions.
We get a highlight from WWF Superstars where Mr. Hughes assaulted The Undertaker with his own urn. The shots looked so weak that the camera had to use cut-aways to disguise it. I am torn here, because I love seeing Perfect wrestle. But I hate seeing Hughes wrestle. Hughes dominates with his sloppy looking offense, but Perfect fights back and remarkably manages to hip toss and back body drop the big man, which is a sight to see. I’ve concluded that Hughes is actually filled with helium, because that’s the only way he can get that kind of lift for a man his size. I’m struggling with the outcome here, because Hart vs Perfect is an obvious draw, but Hughes is unbeaten and in the middle of a push for his feud with ‘Taker.
The answer should have been obvious, as Hughes loses his cool and attacks Perfect with the urn, which apparently he has commandeered permanently. This gives Perfect the win and the progression in the tournament, whilst keeping Hughes looking strong- if a bit dumb for getting himself DQed in a first round tournament match.
We have an interview with MR. FUJI and YOKOZUNA, and if you caught their interview on Raw, you caught this. Fuji tells us Hogan is going down tonight, and we’ll have a new WWF Champion.
The next tournament match is BAM BAM BIGELOW VS. “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN. I’m predicting Bam Bam for this match, though a Face win for Duggan might make sense if Luger is going off in the next match. I can’t enjoy Duggan’s act, whether it’s 1993 or 2013, and it feels to me like at this point he is only resonating with the fans because of “hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” This would prove particularly popular in the late 90s, but not in a Jim Duggan context.
Duggan dominates the early part of this match, but Bam Bam takes control when Duggan runs headlong into the turnbuckle. Bam Bam hits a body slam, but Duggan regains control to set up his three point stance. It misses, and this gives Bam Bam the opening for his diving headbutt and the victory. I’m glad to see Bam Bam progress here, but the fans at ringside don’t seem especially impressed.
We go straight into our next match, and I’m not writing these reviews on fast forward, the matches really are flying by. It’s “THE NARCISSIST” LEX LUGER VS. TATANKA in a battle of the undefeated streaks. I’m going for Luger here because I know the WWF has big plans for him, and Tatanka’s undefeated streak has been meandering for a while now. Heenan uses a strange “Brain Scan” gimmick which means he can scribble all over the screen like he’s using Microsoft Paint. Or like he’s a snooker commentator. Or like he’s a snooker commentator using Microsoft Paint.
Exchange of the night:- Jim Ross: “Why do they call you Brain?” Heenan: “Why do you they call you Jim Ross?!” Ross: “Well, because that’s my name..”
The story of this match is Tatanka attempting to rally a comeback as Luger beats him down with clotheslines, chin locks, headlocks, knee drops- a slow, grinding offense. Every time Tatanka gets something together, Luger puts him back on the mat. It’s the longest match so far, and Luger is actually looking pretty gassed here, breathing heavy and sweating like a pig. Tatanka finally gets some offense going, but misses when he tries for his tomahawk chop from the top rope. The commentators start to foreshadow a time limit, which means we could be seeing a draw here? With 30 seconds left on the clock, Luger hits a big vertical suplex and a backbreaker, but still only gets the 2 count, and this match is over as a time limit draw. Howard Finkle announces that this means both men are eliminated and Bam Bam Bigelow will receive a bye. Bullshit ending, and there’s really no reason to be doing stuff like this to protect Tatanka’s streak at this point.
Luger grabs a mic and demands five more minutes, because he came here to become King of the Ring. You and everyone else, buddy. With Tatanka’s back turned, Luger removes the padding and blindsides the Native American with his bionic elbow- no no, not in a Dusty Rhodes way, he actually has metal rods in his elbow.
The “five more minutes” was a tease, this match is over, and we go backstage to BRET HART and MR. PERFECT. The two men start out civil but Mean Gene is stirring the pot and he insinuates that Bret thinks he’s better than Perfect. Bret says that he does, but he respects Mr. Per- that’s all he gets out, because Perfect is pissed, and Mean Gene decides to pointedly ask which of their dads is better, Stu Hart or Larry the Axe. This gets the tempers flaring again and both men are ready to prove who is the better man.
Nice segment to get some heat going into this semi-final match, as if it needed it. Mean Gene though, what a bitch!
That match is up next, it’s BRET “THE HITMAN” HART VS. MR. PERFECT. Perfect backhands that towel directly to the referee across the ring- how many hours did this guy practice with that towel? Crazy.
Instantly we’re shown why these two were considered some of the best in-ring workers in the world, as they’re exchanging holds and throws lightning quick in the most compelling exchange we’ve seen on the show so far. Macho Man informs us that the semi-final matches have a 30 minute time limit as opposed to the 15 minute limit from the quarters, which explains why those earlier matches felt so quick.
Perfect gets the better of the exchange, and dominates Bret with some brutal offense, bouncing him off the turnbuckles before slamming him out to ringside. Bret sells the injured knee off the fall brilliantly, as Perfect plays the heel card, going for the countout.
Bret comes back by attacking Perfect’s legs in return, a bit of tit for tat, and gets the Figure Four leglock sank in deep. Perfect gets free but sells the leg injury beautifully, hobbling between moves and struggling to keep a hold on when the pressure is on his leg.
Ross references this as a “battle between two former Intercontinental Champions” and I take a second to appreciate how good it is for somebody to reference the IC title like it’s a big achievement. Bret’s already been WWF Champion by this point, but JR still takes no shame in highlighting Bret’s other achievement.
Both men tumble to the outside with a nasty double-suplex over the top. They tease the countout, but manage to get back in the ring and Perfect rolls up Hitman for a pin, but Bret rolls it over and gets the three count. Bret overcame the damage he sustained and snuck out a win to put him in the finals against Bam Bam Bigelow. The two men shake, and for a second it looks like Perfect is going to heel turn on the Hitman, but nope- it’s just old fashioned good sportsmanship.
We’ve got an interview with “THE MOUTH OF THE SOUTH” JIMMY HART and HULK HOGAN to retort against their challengers, Fuji and Yokozuna. Hogan talks up the America vs. Japan aspect of this match, claiming that the red, white, and blue runs through his veins. And then showing us those veins in full Technicolor. The most notable aspect of this interview is that Jimmy Hart takes his shades off and I realise two things a) I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jimmy Hart without his shades before, and b) I hope to never see Jimmy Hart without his shades again.
The WWF Championship match is up next, HULK HOGAN (c) w/Jimmy Hart VS. YOKOZUNA w/ Mr. Fuji.
Hulk does his shtick to get the crowd into a frenzy, and Yokozuna does his slow, methodical oriental stances and poses to bring them to fever pitch. Hogan is on the defensive for the first ten minutes of this match, which is exactly how you’d expect this to go. Hogan gets literally no offense on the massive Samoan- ahem, Japanese native- as Yokozuna batters him from turnbuckle to turnbuckle. It’s no credit to the talent of Yokozuna that he is wrestling the standard Hogan template here, but that’s what he’s working with and he does a decent job of giving the imposing beatdown.
The inevitable happens and Hogan begins his Hulk Out routine, and he knocks Yokozuna to the mat with his big boot. The crowd explodes, but as Hogan sets the challenger up for the Legdrop of Doom, a dude dressed like a hobo hops onto the apron with a camera for the money shot. Jimmy Hart gets a boot in the face from the hobo, what the hell is this about? Hogan decides that this camera guy is more important than his championship match, and the… THE CAMERA FUCKING EXPLODES?! Yeah, so that actually happened, the camera sends off a fairly convincing looking firework and Hulk Hogan goes down like a sack of bricks. Yokozuna, now fully recovered, lands a Legdrop of Doom of his own and this match is over. Hogan has been screwed by a hobo with a camera, and Yokozuna is the new WWF Champion!
For me, the most fascinating part of this finish isn’t the new champion or the hobo with the exploding camera, but the politics behind it. Hogan, upon returning to the WWF following a semi-successful stint in Hollywood, was able to basically negotiate his own contract. With his immense backstage sway, he convinced McMahon to let him take the belt at Mania, despite not being booked in a title match, because waiting until the later King of the Ring wasn’t soon enough. Taking the belt in a five minute squash at Wrestlemania 9, Hogan was then requested to drop the belt back to The Hitman to help pass the torch to the WWF’s newest “face of the company.” Hogan refused, citing Bret’s size and lack of box office success as reasons for avoiding the Hogan vs. Bret match that the WWF so badly wanted to book. Hogan’s compromise- dropping the belt back to Yokozuna at the King of the Ring before moving on to more Hollywood work outside of wrestling. This is, of course, what the company agreed to run with, and thus the dodgy finish to the match I just witnessed.
We go backstage for an interview with “HEARTBREAK KID” SHAWN MICHAELS and he’s with his insurance policy, Kevin Nash, or DIESEL if they’ve finally named him at this point. Oh, so apparently they haven’t, as Mean Gene asks Shawn who he is. Even Shawn Michaels’ mic skills can’t save this reveal, as he announces he’s called Diesel, like the gasoline, because that’s what makes mac trucks go. That’s some Road Warrior Hawk reasoning right there..
The next match up is an eight-man tag, as it’s THE STEINER BROTHERS & THE SMOKING GUNNS VS. THE HEADSHRINKERS & MONEY INC. I’d have liked the see the Tag Team titles on the line here (in fact, I had previously thought they would be in some kind of four corners match. Apparently not.)
The match doesn’t go long, with the heels controlling the early part and the Steiners fighting back with their trademark offense. The Smoking Gunns have little to add, and Billy plays the face-in-peril for a while here. Billy gets the roll up and this one is surprisingly over in record time. Very disappointing quick finish to an anticipated tag match, even with the belts not on the line, and the four teams get into a brawl after the match. The camera isn’t interested as we go backstage for a post-match catchup with YOKOZUNA and MR. FUJI.
The new champion is so ecstatic that he jumps up and down and screams like a girl- okay, no, he just stares into the camera doing his best Rusev impression. Fuji has plenty to say though, and he says some really insightful and audible thing- okay, no, that doesn’t happen either, he rants about somebody getting married and is mostly unintelligible for the duration.
Our next match is for the Intercontinental championship, it’s “THE HEARTBREAK KID” SHAWN MICHAELS (c) VS. CRUSH, and I’m actually anticipating this match a lot thanks to Michaels’ sublime work on Raw in recent weeks. The match starts out fast paced, with Michaels trying to get something working against the bigger man who matches him move for move. Crush shows off first his agility, leap frogging the champ, and then his strength, pressing Michaels above his head and tossing him to the mat. This is the most impressive display I’ve seen out of Crush, who certainly hasn’t been showcased by the various squash matches on Raw over the months.
Diesel gets involved to turn this match into HBK’s favour, and he grinds the challenger down with holds until Crush manages to drop him in viciously against the ropes. That looked nasty and it puts Crush firmly in control, until DOINK THE CLOWN comes to the ring, twice. There’s two Doinks leading to the statutory discussion about how many Doinks the commentators see. This distracts Crush long enough for Shawn to get the schoolboy, and this one is over. A disappointing ending but not unexpected given all of Crush’s recent problems with Doink the Clown.
Mean Gene is backstage with BAM BAM BIGELOW and he’s “fresh as a daisy” and “ready to get the job done.” That is all. Man of many words, that guy.
That match is next, our main event and the King of the Ring finals, BRET “HITMAN” HART VS. BAM BAM BIGELOW. Bret is wrestling a similar style here to his earlier match with Razor, being dominated by the larger stronger man. Bam Bam impresses once again with his agility and manoeuvrability in the ring as he puts the beat down on the Hitman. Bam Bam takes the assault to ringside, throwing Bret against the barriers, and leaving him on the outside to allow LUNA VACHON to run to ringside. Thankfully, she doesn’t talk. What she does do is strike Bret with a fairly weak chair shot. I’m not seeing the logic of why Bam Bam would need Luna to use a chair against a man he was already dominating fairly soundly, but there you have it. Bret rolls back into the ring in agony and Bam Bam lands his massive top rope headbutt, the Wham Bam Thank you Ma’am. (Hey, I don’t name the moves, okay!)
The bell rings and Bam Bam is crowned the winner- I’m not buying it, and with good reason- Earl Hebner comes out, and no, he doesn’t screw Bret, he saves his ass, convincing the original referee to change his decision and re-start this match.
In the modern era, Bret would now hit two big moves and pin Bigelow- not in 1993, Bam Bam simply continues his assault, torturing Bret with a back-breaker torture rack. Bret finally makes a comeback with some top rope offense, including a plancha to ringside which is apparently “putting his body on the line” according to JR. It’s essentially the equivalent of falling out of bed, but JR sure knows how to sell it.
Bret clambers to the top rope in desperation and winds up on Bam Bam’s shoulder, rolling over for a victory roll and the win! Bret ‘The Hitman’ Hart is the 1993 King of the Ring, and Savage rightly predicts that this should make him the WWF Championship number one contender. It wasn’t a wrestling clinic, as Bret spent most of the match on his back; but it was an underdog story that the crowd got behind.
Bret dons the ridiculous king costume, and he looks like a false Jerr… oh hey, JERRY ‘THE KING’ LAWLER appears on screen and derides Bret for stealing his “king” gimmick. He calls Bret a “prince” (which is an insult apparently?) and he demands The Hitman kiss his feet.
Bret says that the only type of king that Lawler is, is a “Burger King”, and the crowd gets behind him with the chant, prompting Lawler to assault Bret with the sceptre and the rest of the throne set-up. The event goes off the air with Bret Hart laying in metaphorical pieces at the bottom of the stage.
One of these “kings” looks good in a crown…
ECW Super Summer Sizzler Spectacular – 19 June 1993
We kick off ECW’s stupidly named supercard with Commissioner TOD GORDON outside the ECW Arena with Jay Sulli and his stupid tuxedo, complete with sash. Gordon tells us this will be the greatest independent event in history. He’s wrong. I can tell you that right now and the show hasn’t even begun.
Our first match of the night doesn’t waste any time getting under way, and it’s for the ECW Television Championship, JT SMITH VS. JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA (c). The stipulation here is that if Snuka defends successfully, he’ll defend again. There’s no real reasoning given, but the fact that the Dangerous Alliance has been getting up in Gordon’s grill, it makes sense he’d book Snuka against the odds.
Our commentators for tonight are Jay Sulli and Paul E. Dangerously- the ECW were smart enough to realise that a supercard length event could not survive with Stevie Wonderful on commentary, and 22 years later, this columnist thanks them for that small mercy.
These are two of the most athletic individuals on ECW’s roster at present, but for some reason it still feels like they’re wrestling in slow motion. Smith continues to remind me of a young Shelton Benjamin- in look as well as in-ring style, mixing athletic prowess with heavy lifting slams and suplexes. Heyman (Dangerously) tells us that “Snuka has the advantage and he’s taking advantage of that advantage.” He’s an advocate, ladies and gentlemen. Smith barely gets any offense off before Snuka uses his advantage to land a jumping piledriver followed by the Superfly Splash and the TV title is staying put… for now. Snuka will defend again later in the show.
The next match is the first blood grudge match between former tag team partners, TONY “HITMAN” STETSON VS. LARRY WINTERS. These guys held the tag titles one month prior, but tonight they’re opponents following a series of dubious fallings out. Not that anybody else cares. The camera work here is awful, in places it feels like a cellphone recording from the audience. Except cellphones didn’t have screens back then. Which possibly explains the shaky picture…
Stetson starts the match viciously, jumping Winters and putting on an early beat-down, firing shots at Winter’s head to try for the blood. The fight goes to ringside and Winters turns things around, but the ROCKIN’ REBEL comes to ringside and distracts Winters for no discernible reason, allowing Stetson to pull a chain out of his trucks and level Winters with a hard shot. Apparently weapons aren’t legal in first blood matches in ECW in 1993? Too extreme, obviously.
Stetson gets the tainted win over his former partner, but Winters clears Stetson and Rebel out of the ring for the moral victory. This match did nothing for anybody; I can’t even recall a single wrestling move… Not even an arm drag.
Jay Sulli informs us that “this next match is the one I’ve been waiting for!” and of course he’s referencing the “Strip Your Opponent Of Her Clothing” match, “TERRIBLE” TIGRA VS. MISS PEACHES.
In 1993 this probably felt edgy and innovative. In 2015 it just feels degrading, sexist, and slightly perverted, and Sulli’s comments aren’t helping. Sorry, guys.
If you thought this was going to be a match- think again. This is a scrap; the two women are just clawing at one another in the ring and tearing at loosely fastened clothing. For those keeping score, Peaches loses her top first. Her bra is red. Halfway through the match, and after losing her own top (her bra is black and sparkly), Tigra decides enough is enough and tries to head backstage but an unknown mystery woman all in red appears. She looks like DC Comics’ Wonder Woman; it’s very possible that this is Wonder Woman, folks, making her ECW debut. “Wonder Woman” helps Tigra back into the ring not-so-politely, allowing Peaches to sexually assau- I mean, remove her clothing, and this “match” is over.
Suddenly the Rockin’ Rebel and Tony Stetson hit the ring, and they… well, I joked about sexual assault (don’t do it, kids!) but these guys actually pull Wonder Woman’s top off, leaving her topless in the ring. She covers everything up, but the arena erupts in cheers which is fairly horrible. A quick Google suggests she is called ANGEL. No, it wasn’t in the Images section…
Now Jay Sulli decides to say that this is thoroughly disgusting and degrading to the “poor woman”. Riiiiight.
Moving on! The second Television Title defence is up next, and it’s JIMMY “SUPERFLY” SNUKA (c) VS. “IRONMAN” TOMMY CAIRO, the first and current ECW Pennsylvania State Champion. Paul E. leaves commentary, meaning we get TERRY FUNK on the commentary table instead. Its okay guys, don’t panic, you don’t have to hear it, I’m doing this for you. You owe me.
This one is more of a match than the previous outing, as Cairo gets a lot of the early offense on the champion. It’s an ECW match in 1993, so by “offense” I mean back body drops and flying elbows. Although Cairo gets the lion’s share of the offense, he doesn’t get the win, thanks to Paul E. Dangerously at ringside tripping him up. Snuka gets the feet on the rope, the referee doesn’t see it, and Snuka steals his second TV Title defence of the night.
Straight into our next match is the street fight, THE SANDMAN VS. THE ROCKIN’ REBEL. Sandman seems to think he’s in the catfight, as he starts the bout by tearing Rebel’s top clean off. It’s a night of exposures, folks! Once that obstructive t-shirt is out of the way, Sandman takes it to Rebel with aggression. We’re getting a glimpse of the violent side of Sandman that ECW would capitalise on later. Rebel tries to counter the brawling with some wrestling, landing a big top rope bulldog and a swinging neckbreaker. Rebel strips Sandman of his t-shirt, I’m starting to wonder if this is the kind of match I want to be watching…….
Panic over, it descends to more violence via a folding steel chair. Phew! Sandman wails on Rebel with the chair, but within a moment the referee is knocked down and TONY STETSON enters the ring to interfere on Rebel’s behalf. I had Stetson fatigue after his first appearance, but this is getting ridiculous… He’s brought with him a mystery blonde woman, and when Sandman turns around she sprays him with mace, and he staggers right into a roll-up from Rebel and this one is over.
This show is starting to feel a bit like the ECW it would become; run-ins galore, women showing up in every match with very little clothing, and violence in the place of wrestling.
Paul E. introduces the next match- it’s “DIRTY” DICK MURDOCH VS. DARK PATRIOT II. That isn’t a typo, this isn’t the original Dark Patriot aka. Doug Gilbert that we saw last week on ECW TV, this is another guy in similar attire. Apparently the real Dark Patriot is over in Japan, and that’s why we have a stand-in here. No amount of research can tell me who is under the mask here, and this seems to be the one and only appearance of “Dark Patriot II” on ECW TV. This is an odd match up in general; a rare appearance by the old wrasslin’ legend Murdoch, versus a guy who nobody knows or cares about.
If the last match was a brawl, then this is a straight-up fight. Both men throw heavy strikes and .. more heavy strikes. Murdoch is in no better shape than he was during his Slamboree appearance earlier in this column, but a singles match exposes him more. Out of nowhere, Murdoch gets a roll-up and this one is, thankfully, over. I’m still awake, but I don’t know if that’s a blessing or a curse.
The next match is a six-man tag match, it’s “WILDMAN” SAL BELLOMO, SUPER DESTROYER #1 & STEVIE WONDERFUL VS. THE SUICIDE BLONDES & HUNTER Q ROBBINS III. You read that right, your favourite colour commentator and mine, Stevie Wonderful, is actually getting into the ring for this match to replace one of the Super Destroyers. I don’t know why, he just is. More importantly is the man who is announced as Jay Sulli’s next guest commentator, it’s a guy who’s career will likely fizzle out completely when this show is over, some jabroni journalist from PWI by the name of JOEY STYLES. OH MY GAWWWWD! This will be Joey’s first ECW show, and I am praying to all of the wrestling gods, including JBL, that he will be on every single show from here on out. Preferably instead of Wonderful. Or Sulli. Or both.
Styles is in complete heel mode here, instantly calling the ECW fans inbreds. He’s on fire from the get go too, instantly becoming the most entertaining commentator I’ve heard on ECW to date.
SIR RICHARD MICHAELS, aka Chris Michaels, is standing in for Candido whose “arm has been broken.” This is Sulli-speak for “left the company to join Smokey Mountain Wrestling”, signalling the unfortunate end of Candido’s appearances with ECW until 1996. The tags here are thick and fast, including teasing a showdown of the “managers”, Hunter Q. and Stevie Wonderful. The heel beatdown continues on Bellomo and the old-fashioned triple team in the corner keeps the Face team on the ropes. Stevie chases off Hunter Q though, allowing Bellomo to get the advantage and a big splash on Michaels picks up the win for the odd-job team of Super D #1, Sal Bellomo and Stevie Wonderful. Not sure that was the best booking for an upcoming team, and the tag team champions, the Suicide Blondes. But it was a feel good moment on a supercard of heel victories.
The main event of ECW Super Sufferin’ Succotash Son is up next, it’s the Texas Chain Match Massacre, it’s to crown the “King of Philadelphia”, it’s the culmination of months of feuding, it’s “HOTSTUFF” EDDIE GILBERT VS. “THE LIVING LEGEND” TERRY FUNK!
ECW Commissioner TOD GORDON is Jay Sulli’s fourth and final guest commentator. The two competitors do a lot of posturing early on, milking this capacity crowd for all its worth, and for the first time in ECW history this actually feels like a packed crowd- by ECW standards, of course. The chain makes its presence felt early on, as Funk uses it to keep the cowardly Gilbert at arm’s length.
Gilbert gets the chain around Funk’s neck for the choke which puts him in firm control of the match, and affording him a couple of almost-but-not-quites at the frustrating “touch all 4 corners” stipulation. The blood starts flowing but Funk is unphased, dragging Gilbert out to ringside and out around the back of the crowds. The camera struggles to capture the action and Sulli/Gordon aren’t entertaining enough to keep me content. For no apparent reason, one of the referees takes a blow to the head- it’s an obvious spot in the corner, but a replacement referee is brought down before any shenanigans by Dangerous Alliance can take place. Curious…
Eddie gets another three corners, and there’s a small but noticeable “Terry! Terry!” chant from a portion of the audience. Funk rallies back and gets all 4 corners and apparently the new referee didn’t see one of the corners. As Funk rightfully argues with the referee, Gilbert gets hold of a steel chair and strikes Funk from behind, knocking him out and allowing Gilbert to get the four corners and it’s over! Both commentators are fuming as Paul E. gets in the ring to crown Eddie Gilbert the official “King of Philadelphia!”
But Commissioner Gordon is having none of it, and he gets in the ring and says… something that is drowned out by the audience. What does come across clearly is that the new referee, Kevin Christian, is fired! Paul E suddenly strikes Gordon from behind with his cellphone-shaped brick, and he’s out cold. Paul E. celebrates with Kevin Christian, and just as Funk is back to his feet, the Dangerous Alliance high-tail it to the back. Funk grabs the mic and it’s just about audible that he is annoyed because he touched all four corners first- that’s about the only thing that is intelligible out of Funk’s mouth as the broadcast cuts to black.
The chain match we’ve all been… waiting… for?
BATTLE SHEET:-
In-ring:- WCW brought a style to the party that I haven’t seen since beginning The War-Log . Whilst the legends matches were disappointing, the opener was hot and the tag team title match and the NWA title match were sublime. WWF had a little tournament-fatigue going on, but performances by Bret Hart and Mr Perfect especially shined. ECW brought little to the table here- they hadn’t gone full-on with the violence yet, and there was almost no wrestling to be found, trapping them in an awkard place between the two…. extremes. WCW 2 – WWF 1 – ECW 0
Personality:- ECW chose not to allow any mic time to its performers on this show- and Joey Styles can only do so much. In contrast, WCW did a lot of interviews- albeit with their aging legends roster. A “Flair For The Gold” segment was the highlight. WWF grabbed a handful of interviews with their King of the Ring entrants, as well as their Intercontinental champion. The WWF’s colourful roster wins this one again. WWF 3- WCW 3 – ECW 0
Unpredictability:- WCW gave us the return of Sid Vicious, a switch that saw Brad Armstrong in a legends match, and another switch that ruined the reunion of the Horsemen. The three big title bouts ended in dirty fashion but kept the belts exactly where they were. The WWF by contrast gave us a fairly unpredictable tourney, with an unexpected draw, and then threw the rulebook out of the window by having the winner blindsided by Jerry Lawler. The WWF title also changed hands and Hulkamania ended with a bang- an exploding camera. ECW gave us topless ladies, and mediocre violence with the only unexpected finish coming from the main event and a crooked referee. WWF 5 – WCW 4 – ECW 0
Match of the week:- It was a tough job deciding this category, especially given some of Bret’s matches (especially the bout with Perfect.) But I’m giving the gong to the WCW Tag championship bout, an excellent cage match between the Hollywood Blonds, Steamboat, and a fake Shane Douglas. Even the dodgy finish didn’t taint this match, and there’s a reason it’s included on a lot of Steve Austin’s DVDs. WCW 6 – WWF 6 – ECW 0
Star of the week:- The runner-up here is “The Enforcer” himself, Arn Anderson. The fans were behind him in his efforts to topple Barry Windham’s title run, and he cut a decent promo during the Flair for The Gold segment to solidify this. The match was solid and Arn told a great story of a man who let his anger cost him a victory on this given night. But the winner of this category is also the King of the Ring in 1993, Bret “The Hitman” Hart put on three decent outings in one night, in particular his match with Mr. Perfect, and went on to claim the crown in the inaugural televised King of the Ring event. WWF 8 – WCW 7 – ECW 0
Verdict:– In what was completely a two horse race, WWF takes the win on our very first War-Log Pay-Per-View Special! This one came right down to the last category, and fittingly, it was The Hitman that won it for the WWF on this occasion. King of the Ring and Slamboree are both pay-per-view events worth watching, depending on what you like from your wrestling. King of the Ring featured some solid character work and a compelling tournament as well as the ultimate good vs. evil title match. WCW excelled in the ring with a number of solid encounters, unfortunately padded out by some less solid legends showcases. That being said, if you’re a wrestling historian, there’s a lot to enjoy from these rare appearances.
ECW is a different story entirely, gaining no points whatsoever in this column. And if you don’t believe it’s fair, I dare you to go watch this yourself! As the culmination of months of programming, the Summer Sizzler was incredibly disappointing. ECW has a tendency to give matches very little time on TV, but that trend should not have been replicated on a feature supercard. It was, and it was to the detriment of the workers here who were trying their best to put exclamation marks on their stories. Bad wrestling can be successfully negated by thrill-factor violence, and this is something that Paul Heyman would hit on very soon in ECW’s history. But the regime of Gilbert/Gordon are only toying with that concept here, and it makes for a very unexciting 2 hours to sit through if you are masochistic enough to want to try it.
WAR SCORE:-
1 0 0