Additional Disclaimer: I was really hoping I didn't have to address my detractors, but apparently it's necessary. My goal for coming back to the CF and posting these columns has nothing to do with plugging another website, going back to the main page, or winning contests. My reason for coming back is to reach as many readers as possible. Nothing more, nothing less. My past problems with two specific writers from this website have nothing to do with anyone else. If you'd care to hear the details of my issues with either one of them, feel free to send me a private message and we can discuss the facts, instead of making assumptions. If you have a problem with me, my comments, my views, or anything else, come to ME and talk to ME about it. That's all I ask. If you can't do that, then feel free to read the columns posted by someone else. Thank you.
With only 285 episodes of WCW Monday Nitro remaining, we continue our journey toward the finish line with entry numero dos. Eric Bischoff promised an action-packed follow-up as Nitro’s debut episode went off the air last week, but before we get into WCW’s trip to Miami, let’s do a recap of what you missed if you didn’t catch the premier:
A wrestling ring was set up inside a giant shopping mall where fans could watch the action for free from their seats or the escalators. There were maybe 1,000 people there. This was a few weeks after WCW’s big pre-taped summer event Collision in Korea where they drew 340,000 people over two days – not a typo. In the opener, Flyin’ Brian, before he became “The Loose Cannon,” defeated masked Japanese legend Jushin “Thunder” Liger in the clear-cut Match of the Night. A former football player who calls himself “Mongo” said some things that didn’t make sense while Bobby Heenan rolled his eyes so hard we could feel him doing it off camera. US Champ Sting handed out gorilla presses like ecstasy at Burning Man to beat Ric Flair via DQ when Arn Anderson showed up, which wasn’t as big a deal as Lex Luger also showing up during the same match to return to the company he left a few years earlier. Speaking of people showing up, Randy Savage and Scott Norton scheduled a match for this week that no one ultimately cared about while WCW also hyped the debuts of Sabu and Michael Wallstreet, formerly IRS, formerly Mike Rotundo, formerly Captain Mike Rotunda. In the main event, Hulk Hogan, with a belly full of pasta, beat The Big Boss Man/Big Bubba Rogers brain-dead before getting attacked by The Dungeon of Doom and being saved by Lex Luger who he gave a championship match to this week after making some not-so-good points. Oh… and Mongo brought a dog named Pepe.
Now I want you all to keep something in mind while you read this. It has been so long since I’ve watched these episodes of Nitro, it’s almost as if I’m watching them for the first time too. That’s what makes this fun. I was a WWF guy, which means there was a ton of Nitro I missed. My buddy Nick and I would take turns each week watching one show or the other, then call each other during commercials for recaps. In 1995, not everyone had the interwebs yet. We did the best with what we had, ya spoiled brats. You don’t know how good you have it.
Also, for your reference, here is a list of the active champions in WCW at the time:
WCW World Heavyweight Champion – Hulk Hogan (defeated Ric Flair at Bash at the Beach ’94)
WCW United States Champion – Sting (defeated Meng in a tournament final at Great American Bash ’95)
WCW World Television Champion – The Renegade (defeated Arn Anderson at Great American Bash ’95)
WCW World Tag Team Champions – “Dirty” Dick Slater & Bunkhouse Buck (defeated Harlem Heat on WCW: Saturday Night)
Detonating Nitro: Episode 2 – I’m in Miami, Bisch
9:00 PM – I almost want to take it home after writing such a clever title. I’m that proud of it. Yet I can’t. I made a promise to you readers and, more importantly, I made a promise to myself that we would complete this trip down memory lane (even if it takes five and a half years). Things kick off with the sick Nitro opener full of explosions. Cool trivia question: Which former WWE Superstar used the WCW Monday Nitro theme song as his entrance music?
9:00:26 PM – Like last week we get some swooping helicopter shots of Miami as Eric Bischoff hypes the fact that the show is LIVE. Basically, anything can go wrong. In order to up the likelihood of that happening, they set off fireworks about five feet above the heads of the audience in one of the smallest arenas I’ve ever seen. The original Nitro set is a tiny one. It’s almost as small as the WWECW set from SyFy, but this one has big “WCW” letters on each side. It’s also incredibly close to the ring.
Bischoff calls the Hogan/Luger main event “The Match of the Century.” This won’t be the last time WCW oversells something. More pyro goes off, complete with fire shooting out of the ring posts. As the crowd tries to regain their hearing, the camera heads over to the new broadcast booth where Bischoff sits between Mongo and Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. Mongo says Nitro is “the biggest thing to hit TV since the little old lady says, ‘Where’s the Beef?’” If you thought the guys on Raw had dated references, you haven’t watched enough of Mongo’s work.
(SBK Note: I also noticed Mongo likes to say “the WCW” as in, “This is the WCW, baby!” which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense when you break it down. That would mean, “This is the World Championship Wrestling, baby.” It worked with the WWF because then it would be, “This is the World Wrestling Federation, baby.” In 2014, it doesn’t work if you say “the WWE” because then it would be “the World Wrestling Entertainment, baby,” yet guys still do it. Just a little nitpicky thing that bothers me. Now back to our regularly scheduled detonating.)
9:02 PM – Bischoff sends us to a clip of the end of last week’s Nitro as the fans chant “WEASEL! WEASEL! WEASEL!” at Heenan. The things covered in the clip can be found in the last two parts of last week’s column for your reading pleasure. It’s all Hogan/Luger recap.
9:03 PM – We come back to Bischoff, who explains to the audience at home – the crowd there can’t hear a thing they are saying and there are no video screens yet – that Big Van Vader has gone missing. You see, shortly after ending his run as WCW’s most feared heel, Vader was recruited by Hogan to join their War Games team for the upcoming Fall Brawl pay-per-view to face The Dungeon of Doom. Awesome, right? That team was supposed to be Hogan, Savage, Sting, and Big Van f#@&ing Vader. That was in the books!
Then, in real life, Vader got his ass kicked in the locker room by a sandals-wearing, one-armed Paul Orndorff for being a dick. He had to go. Now, Bischoff and company are explaining his absence from television by simply saying they don’t know where he is. That is WCW in a nutshell.
9:04 PM – At 4 minutes on the nose, the rigidly-timed Nitro kicks off the first match-up with the debut of Sabu. He literally hops, skips, and jumps into the ring before shoving the ring announcer because he’s an insane person. His opponent is none other than “Das Wunderkind” Alex Wright! For those of you who don’t know Alex Wright, he’s a second-generation wrestler who, at the time was maybe 20 years old. His father was catch-wrestling legend Steve Wright (do yourself a solid and watch this clip). The kid had pedigree and a killer signature dance move:
9:05 PM – Alex skips the dancing tonight, though, as he realizes he has his hands full with a suicidal, genocidal, homicidal maniac named SABU. Oh wait, brief history lesson! Anytime you hear the name “Sabu” your brain, as a wrestling fan, automatically thinks of ECW, right? That was where Sabu made his name initially on the American scene (he was huge in Japan). Earlier that year, he was booked to participate alongside Taz in a Three-Way Dance for the ECW Tag Team Championship. Instead, he flew to Japan to accept more money and no-showed ECW. Paul Heyman went to the ring with Taz and publicly fired Sabu from the company in an all-time classic moment. That’s what catapulted him to WCW. Now I know what you’re thinking: WCW fires Vader for misconduct in the locker room yet WCW hires Sabu after no-showing his previous employer? Yup. I thought the same thing.
(SBK Note: That incident ultimately led to the big feud that headlined ECW’s first pay-per-view, Barely Legal, in 1997 between Sabu and his former partner Taz.)
9:05:02 PM – Now with all the background out of the way, let’s get into the match itself. After Alex discards his leather jacket, the bell rings. They exchange arm-drags until Sabu performs a single-leg takedown and chokes Wright. He follows up his attack with a reverse springboard off the middle rope into the seated Wunderkind. As Alex works his way to his feet, Sabu jumps toward him to perform a hurricanrana that sends both guys over the top rope to the outside. It all happens so fast the fans barely have time to digest what they saw. Sabu heads back inside, but as Wright gets to his feet, the human highlight reel greets him with a baseball slide.
It’s at this moment I realize the ring skirt is partially clear and backlit by black blights. It’s a neat idea in theory, but what’s under the ring should be part of the show’s illusion, in my opinion. Anyway, Wright gets to his feet again, but the genocidal Sabu hits a somersault over the top onto the German-born wrestling prodigy. That’s right. I said “genocidal” and “German” in the same sentence and I was referring to the OTHER guy.
9:06 PM – Both guys are outside now. Sabu grabs a chair then sends Wright into the guardrail. Sabu sets up the chair in front of him, gets a running start, and leaps off the seat of the chair as Das Wunderkind bails. Sabu eats the barricade, completely missing the protective mat and landing flat on the hard arena floor. Wright takes control with some stomps and a European uppercut. He puts an exclamation point on his attack with a beautiful standing dropkick. After a scoop slam, he stomps and rolls Sabu back into the ring.
Alex Wright climbs to the top. One of the things I’ve heard wrestlers ask a lot about their maneuvers in the locker room is, “how much height did I get?” Alex Wright never needed to ask that question. As Sabu gets to his feet, he does his signature point to the sky even though he’s currently losing. Wright, perched on the top, pops toward the heavens and delivers a missile dropkick so perfectly, he actually looks like a missile coming down from the ceiling toward Sabu. It’s incredible.
As this is all happening, Mongo sheds light on the NFL’s future concussion crisis by saying, “I hit a few little fullbacks like that before and they had the best game of their life and they don’t remember how they did it!” If Roger Goodell knew this was out there, he’d try to have the tape destroyed.
9:07:15 PM – Sabu is on the outside trying to regain his composure. We can’t have anybody freaking out and losing their composure! Wright shows us a baseball slide of his own that stuns WCW’s newest recruit. He follows it up with a big dive over the top. These guys are killing each other out there. When Wright tries to enter the ring, Sabu cuts him off from the outside with forearms to the back. Sabu heads to the top. This is where he’s at his deadliest. That is until Wright cuts him off to throw a superplex. We’re literally three minutes into the contest and they’ve given us almost everything they have. Vince McMahon would blow a gasket if his guys tried this.
(SBK Note: And he would be perfectly justified.)
9:08 PM – After some confusion, Wright tries to Irish whip Sabu to the opposite corner, but is reversed. He eats the turnbuckle with his chest, staggers backward, and is met with another springboard leg lariat from Sabu. No one has attempted a pinfall… until Wright performs a backflip off the top to end up behind the “Modern Day Kamikaze,” grabs him, and throws a German suplex with a bridge. It gets a two count.
9:08:41 PM – Das Wunderkind climbs to the top, but Sabu crotches him. Sabu climbs behind him, jumps onto his shoulders, and performs what can only be described as a backwards hurricanrana victory roll. This is where things get interesting.
9:09 PM – Referee Nick Patrick blows the finish. He starts counting. Because of his unusual style of hitting the mat – he slaps it, then wiggles his hand around, then slaps it again – someone missed something. Wright kicks out at like 2.98, but Patrick calls for the bell. Sabu, who won the match, looks at him like, “Bro… the f#$%?”
Heenan and Mongo are covering as Bischoff isn’t saying ANYTHING. I can only assume he’s freaking out at somebody or burying his head in his hands wondering what he got himself into. Both wrestlers sell up as if the match is still happening. They haven’t hit Sabu’s music yet either. The fight spills to the outside. Sabu heads toward the entrance and unveils a table. He brings it to ringside and sets up shop. He cracks Wright with a punch, which leaves him sitting, not laying, at the edge of the table. Sabu climbs to the top rope and dives toward Das Wunderkind headfirst as if he were in a swimming pool. They both go through the table, but Sabu gets the worst of it. And here’s the dead giveaway that the finish was blown…
9:10 PM – “Referee Nick Patrick has reversed his decision and has disqualified Sabu. The winner from disqualification… ALEX WRIGHT!” That makes zero sense! Sabu pinned him! Even Bobby Heenan says it. You can’t disqualify someone for something that happens after a match they won. At that point the match is over. Meanwhile, Mongo says, “It’s JUSTICE! You have to abide by the WCW rules!” So if The Renegade wrestles early in the night, then beats the hell out of someone in the locker room later in the show, can Nick Patrick disqualify him from the earlier match? If that’s in the rule book, it needs a revision or two.
When the replays run, we get a nice shot of Sabu’s shocked face when Patrick counts to three and calls for the bell…
9:11 PM – After more replays, Bischoff sends it to commercial at EXACTLY the 11 minute mark. He runs a tight ship. Speaking of replays, I’m pretty sure we didn’t get any of those in week one. WCW never quite had the hang of the replay game in the early days of Nitro. Unlike WWE, who pioneered the mid-action replay – flawlessly cutting away within seconds of a high-impact move to show it again in slow-motion – WCW waited until the end of the match. We’d get two memorable moments followed by a slow-motion clip of the winner’s entrance. It’ll happen several more times tonight.
When we come back, Michael Wallstreet has his hands full in his WCW debut against the United States Champion… STING. Don’t go away!
9:14 PM – Wait, that doesn’t look like IRS! Oh never mind, it’s only Mean Gene. Some guy is holding a three-part ECW sign just over Gene’s shoulder. Live TV! Anything can happen! Also, Mean Gene needs to invest in a new sport coat and take it to a good tailor.
That being said, he introduces “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair. Tonight, Naitch leaves his robe at home and rocks an impeccably tailored jacket and slacks. Naitch and Gene should exchange information. As they chat, the “ECW” sign guy turns the “E” sideways to form a “W.” Now that can’t say anything to him! Brilliant!
9:15 PM – Gene sets Flair up to go on a tangent about his upcoming Fall Brawl match with his old best friend Arn Anderson. He chastises Double A for passing up partying to chill in his hotel room talking to his wife and son on the phone. If you know anything about Flair’s home life, you can see where the obvious disconnect is.
9:16 PM – As Flair reminisces about The Four Horsemen and holds up those famous fingers, Lex Luger, in solid black wrestling trunks and bands around his biceps, walks toward the ring uninvited. This is becoming a thing with “The Total Package” lately. Just walking to the ring for no reason.
9:16:30 PM – Luger, a former Horsemen himself, enters the ring as Flair holds the ropes for him. Naitch puts over his size, calling him “The Total Package.” He tells Hogan, “Tonight, The Package takes control!” which is also something he often says to flight attendants. HIGH FIVE!
“Ya know Ric, some things never change, do they? You are too much.” That’s Luger’s response. Then he leaves. Flair says, “HULK HOGAN, YOU GO DOWN… TO LEX LUGER!” Wow. Change ONE word in that last sentence and things get a little hairy.
9:18 PM – We cut to Bischoff and his broadcast team as they hype Fall Brawl for this coming Sunday. Not THIS Sunday, but the Sunday after this episode of Nitro in 1995. You get the idea. Here we go with the United States Championship match!
9:18:14 PM – That’s right, Mike Rotunda gets a shot at the US Championship in his FIRST match back with WCW. What a red carpet they rolled out for him. He’s announced as “VK” Wallstreet instead of Michael. Bischoff tries to tee up Heenan for the obvious Vincent Kennedy McMahon joke, but it either goes over Bobby’s head or he just doesn’t care. If the “shot” at Vince is that he’s an asshole with a lot of money, then it’s not much of a shot. He lives for that reputation.
Wallstreet hits the ring rocking a black suit. He’s basically WCW’s Ted DiBiase only a year after he was Ted DiBiase’s running-mate. Remember how last week I said WCW did a great job of differentiating themselves from the WWF? This isn’t one of those differentiators. Bischoff drops a “where the big boys play” for the first time tonight, I think. Not sure. Wasn’t paying close enough attention.
Sting is out next as Bisch calls him “One of THEE most ELECTRIFYING ATHLETES in WCW.” After half a second of thinking, I deduced that The Rock hadn’t been invented yet, so it’s fair game. What isn’t fair game is what happens next.
9:19 PM – Last week, the first shot was fired in the Monday Night War when Lex Luger showed up on Nitro fresh off WWF TV. That took place in a week where Raw didn’t air, so WCW had no competition. One of the aforementioned differentiators I was referring to was WCW going live whereas Raw, in this instance, was pre-taped a few weeks in advance… kinda like TNA in 2014, but not as bad.
Bisch saw it as an opportunity to bury the competition on the first head-to-head night. So what did he do? As Michael Cole once said… and I quote:
“Hey, and by the way, in case you’re tempted to grab the remote control and check out the competition… don’t bother! It’s two or three weeks old! Shawn Michaels beat the big guy with a superkick he couldn’t earn a green belt with at a local YMCA! Stay right here! It’s live! It’s where the action is!”
Wow… what a dick. Coldblooded, Easy E. Coldblooded. This strategy may have seemed like a good idea at the time, but we’ll get to why it wasn’t in the future, as this isn’t the last instance of him giving away Raw results. Hey, and by the way, in case you were tempted to grab the remote control and check out the competition… Shawn vs. Sid from Raw that night was FANTASTIC. It had one of the most creative finishes of HBK’s career. Bischoff’s giveaway inspired me to re-watch it.
9:20 PM – If you thought the shots ended there, they didn’t. The next one just wasn’t memorable. Mongo asks, “They (WWF) named it (Raw) after a bunch of uncooked eggs? This thing sizzles here, ladies and gentlemen. Period!” Oh Mongo.
By this point, VK Wallstreet has disrobed into a singlet worse than anything I would ever consider buying from highspots.com. It’s a solid black singlet with big gold dollar signs on each hip. Meanwhile, Sting is rocking neon green pants and face-paint. The two ath-a-letes exchange blows with Sting getting the better of Wallstreet. They do the headlock, shoot off, dropdown, leapfrog, hip-toss, block, hip-toss spot which Sting punctuates with two consecutive standing dropkicks. Do you know how hard that is to do? He broke out one, popped up, and quicker than a hiccup, broke out the second. Superb athlete.
9:21 PM – Sting whips Wallstreet into the buckle, which is done with so much force that Wallstreet falls to the canvas and retreats to the outside. Bischoff throws out his second “where the big boys play” of the match. Bisch continues his all-out assault on New York as he hypes the main event. He says, “Luger was wrestling for the WWF nine days ago and said, ‘I wanna come where there’s some competition.’” Then Mongo says, “He LITERALLY came out of the Bush Leagues to come play with the big boys!” Then Ruthless Bischoff goes, “Absolutely right and he won’t be the last. This is the ONLY game in town.”
That last sentence is amazing considering how things ultimately worked out.
TIWTBBP Count (unofficial): 3
9:23 PM – Back in the ring, they lock up, go through a little exchange, and Wallstreet takes over by sidestepping Stinger and sending him to the outside. Sting ends up on the apron. After Wallstreet delivers a shot to his chest, referee Nick Patrick admonishes him. This gives Sting time to recuperate. He launches himself from the apron over the top rope toward Wallstreet, taking him out with a diving clothesline. That control doesn’t last long, as VKW cuts him off with a headbutt to the ribs. Wallstreet works him over for a bit, thwarting any mounted comebacks by the Stinger. They head to a corner, but Sting finally finds something that works. He blocks an attempted smash into the top turnbuckle, then dribbles Wallstreet’s head like a basketball on said top turnbuckle.
This is where Sting throws a few punches at Wallstreet and I realize… Sting’s punches were kinda shitty. They look like mine. My punches aren’t good. I’ve been told that. It’s something I’m totally aware of. I've seen them on video. I need to work on them. Sting, on the other hand, is the WCW United States Champion and a former NWA World Heavyweight Champion. His worked punches shouldn’t look like MY worked punches.
9:24 PM – Anywho, Sting works Wallstreet into the corner with a high knee to set up the Stinger Splash, which connects. Wallstreet falls forward as Sting makes his way to the top rope. As VKW gets to his feet, Sting comes off with a flying cross-body for the three count. Sting retains the US Championship to cap off a disappointing debut for VK. I guess you could say the Stinger OCCUPIED Wallstreet. AHHAHAHAHA! AHAHA! AHAHAHA! AHAahaha… ahahaha… ahaha… haha… ahhhhhh…
9:25 PM – Bischoff sends it to commercial, hyping Scott Norton vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage. Mongo says, “Oh yeah! Ring my bell!” Alrighty then…
9:28 PM – We’re back. At 6:05 PM this Saturday in 1995, be sure to tune in to WCW: Saturday Night for the highly anticipated debut of Disco Inferno! Also, The Renegade defends the Television Championship against Max Muscle (Worst. Name. Ever.) while Big Bubba Rogers takes on Dave “Evad” Sullivan – aka Kevin’s retarded brother. Also, Flyin’ Brian goes one-on-one with Alex Wright! Now THAT is the match I want to see.
9:28:35 PM – Norton is out first looking like a monster. Dude is almost built like Brock Lesnar, but his shoulders aren’t as broad. He’s scary jacked. Mach’ is out next, complete with pyro and “Pomp and Circumstance.” Macho can’t even get his frilled, sequenced jacket off before Norton is on him like white on rice. Norton, for some reason, seems to be preoccupied with the broadcast booth. He threatens to beat the hell out of Mongo next. Please do.
9:29 PM – The next few minutes is basically the psychology of Hogan/Andre from WrestleMania 3. Savage, playing the part of Hogan, gets in a little bit of offense at the beginning, but once Norton – Andre in this case – utilizes his strength, he sets a dominant, methodical pace. At one point, Norton just straight up powerbombs the piss out of Savage. Why? Because he can. It’s impressive. You know what else makes this awesome? Savage’s selling. The guys who made the most money in wrestling all have that one thing in common. They could sell their asses off to make you genuinely care.
9:35 PM – In the most vicious move of the night, Norton lifts Savage by his throat from the arena floor to the ring apron while still inside the ring. He hooks Mach’ like he’s going to superplex him back into the squared circle, only to drape Savage’s legs across the top rope, then DDT the living shit out of him onto the harder part of the ring. Dear god in heaven. It makes Randy Orton’s little DDT spot look like an arm drag. I almost threw up.
9:35:42 PM – Then Norton makes a booboo. He climbs to the top rope, but Savage is now on his feet. Randy sidesteps Norton and drives his head into the mat. Bischoff says he “brainbusted” him into the mat, but that’s more or less what Norton did to Mach’ a minute ago, not this.
Savage capitalizes with a knee to Norton’s back. He whips him from pillar to post, laying into him with punches until…
9:36 PM – It’s The Dungeon of Doom… for the second week in a row! They’re getting involved! It’s specifically The Shark and Kamala. As they try to hop onto the apron, Savage whips Norton into them, which causes Kamala to fall to the floor and The Shark to flop into the ring onto Norton’s legs. Norton can’t seem to get him off because he’s so friggin’ heavy. Meanwhile, Savage is on the top rope looking at the situation like “OOOOH YEEEEAAAAAH!” He even has time to pose. That’s when he comes off with his patented flying elbow across Norton’s throat. Referee Randy “Pee-Wee” Anderson counts the fall even though there is blatant interference happening right in front of him. Welcome to Nitro.
9:36:36 PM – Before Mach’ can even think about celebrating, The Taskmaster, Meng, and Zodiac have joined their posse of weirdos. They have a huge War Games match coming up at Fall Brawl against Mach’, Hogan, and Sting. Taskmaster has a giant staff with a sharp horn on the end. If he knew how to use it, he could launch it at Savage and end the feud right there and then, but apparently this is a PG show.
In the ring, Norton and The Shark shove each other. Meng, the toughest guy in the room, just walks away. Norton didn’t make the mistake of f@#$ing with him.
(SBK Note: Meng/Haku is the only human being Andre the Giant was ever afraid of.)
9:39 PM – And we’re back after a brief commercial break. Luger is being introduced for the title match, but Bischoff talks over it, going on about how Luger was with the WWF nine days ago and didn’t want to play with kids anymore. Lex wanted to go to “where the big boys play.” As I explained last week, if we look at wrestling as a shoot – the way it is meant to be viewed – then Luger had no business crapping on the competition in the WWF. He couldn’t win their title after multiple tries and hung out in the middle of the card, losing to Tatanka. Sounds to me like he was tired of getting his ass handed to him, but I digress.
TIWTBBP Count (unofficial): 4
Bisch sends it to commercial mid-entrance. We get the Fall Brawl: War Games promo from last week. It’s still going to represent Muscular Dystrophy. The tag line should be, “Fall Brawl: Guys with Muscles Wrestling for Kids Who Don’t Have Any.” I’m going to hell, aren’t I?
9:45 PM – We’re back just in time for WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan’s entrance. He has Jimmy Hart by his side. The Hulkster gets ceiling pyro, which is always cool. He tears off the shirt, hits his poses, and gets ready to wrestle Vince McMahon’s failed vision of his second coming. LexaMania never ran wild.
They lock up a few times, proving to each other how mutually strong they are. Hogan doesn’t seem to be trying as hard as Luger, so I’m just going to go with him being naturally stronger… and taller. Hogan whips out his technical prowess with a standing switch into a hammerlock, which he slips into a drop-toe-hold. Then he locks up Luger with a modified arm-bar even though he “only has three moves.”
Hogan front-face-locks Luger to his feet, then throws a standing suplex. Luger pops up, forgetting Sting and Flair ran the same exact spot last week. Lex flexes, then grabs Hogan into a side headlock. Hogan shoots him off, drops down, pops up, bends over for a back-body drop, but Luger counters, hooking The Hulkster for a standing suplex of his own. What happens next?
9:46 PM – Hogan pops right up like a BOSS. The crowd starts chanting for Hogan. They’re into it! Bisch tries to say the crowd is divided, but Luger is kiiiinda working heel, so it’s mostly pro-Hulk. Luger takes another headlock on Hogan, but is shrugged off again. Hogan cocks his fist, waiting for Lex to come back, but this time, Luger hangs on to the top rope and bails to the outside to get his shit together.
9:47 PM – Hogan comes out after him, but Luger doesn’t notice. The Hulkster tosses him back into the ring. Luger hits the ropes, but Hogan stays down on the mat, sliding his way to the center of the ring. Luger hops over, but Hogan is up in time to hit that back-body-drop he looked for earlier. Bischoff explains Lex’s difficulties as “not being used to facing this caliber of competition.” He’s on f@#&ing fire tonight with the WWF shots. Miami brings out the worst in people.
9:48 PM – Hogan misses a charge to the corner when Luger bails, which results in the WCW World Heavyweight Champion getting powerslammed in the center of the ring. Instead of attempting a pin with the title on the line, Luger gets up and calls for the Torture Rack two minutes into the match.
Luger scoops up the champ, lifts him onto his shoulders, and applies his kinda-famous Torture Rack submission hold! Is Hogan going to give up?!?! He’s hanging on longer than anyone ever has! They try to do the falsie where Hogan’s arm doesn’t drop the third time when the referee checks, but he’s in the air, so it comes across very weird. The place is going nuts though! Luger drops Hogan, thinking he won as Hogan’s hand goes up the third time! Lex wasn’t always the sharpest knife in the drawer.
9:49 PM – A pissed off Luger goes for the pin, but he’s clearly never watched a Hulk Hogan match before. Hogan kicks out STROOOONG at two. Time to Hulk Up, bitches! Like everyone else who came before him, Luger keeps trying to punch Hogan while he pumps up around the ring. After the third shot, Hogan stops and does the point. Why doesn’t anyone ever think to kick him? That’s what I would do. Right in the knee. But Luger isn’t very good at thinking, so he tries to punch Hogan again, which gets blocked and turns into Lex getting pummeled with punches, a big boot, and a MASSIVE Atomic Leg Drop! Three and a half minutes in and the "Match of the Century" is about to be over! It’s…
9:49:31 PM – The Dungeon of Doom… again. They did the same thing to Hogan last week, but at least they did him the courtesy of letting him win the match first. This time, they don’t give a f#$@. The referee calls for the bell while the colorful bad guys gang up on our hero. Lex is still selling the Atomic Leg Drop on the apron because that’s what you do when Hulk Hogan gives you the Atomic Leg Drop. The champ is in trouble.
9:50 PM – Wait! Here comes back-up! Sting and Mach’ are here to save the day! War Games came early! It takes both Sting AND Savage to get Meng off Hogan, but at this point I’ve deduced that Meng doesn’t like the rest of The Dungeon of Doom and he’s just playing along.
The good guys clear the ring as Luger wakes up to realize what happened. The referee raises Hulkster’s hand, but Hogan sees Luger and shoves him, thinking he had something to do with The Dungeon. These two just can’t seem to get along. Bischoff sends it to commercial because WCW loves sending you to commercial with minutes left in the show.
9:55 PM – Mean Gene is calming things down at the close of the show for the second week in a row. This won’t be the last time this happens either. You’ll start to see patterns of repetition in a few weeks when I’m pulling my hair out. Anyway, Hogan and Savage want answers from Luger. They want to know where my man is coming from.
Sting, being the most level-headed guy in the room, tells everyone to calm down and look at the big picture. This Sunday they have War Games and because Vader got jabrone’d by Mr. Wonderful, they are a man short. Sting says, “THIS is the team!” but Mach’ ain’t havin’ it. Savage says he’d “rather know that nobody’s on our side helping us rather than getting stabbed in the back by Luger coming in here and showing something different than what needs to happen.” My Microsoft Word even yelled at me for that last quote.
Sting votes Luger in because now it’s a democracy. Savage gets his life back together and says he respects Sting’s decision, but is curious as to why The Dungeon of Doom attacked him and Hogan, but not Sting and Jimmy Hart. That’s a tremendous question, Mach’. How ‘bout it, Stinger?
9:58 PM – Jimmy Hart interrupts because he’s all pissed off at Savage for suggesting he would do something like join The Dungeon. Hogan is still a few steps behind, ignoring the insinuation that there’s a mole in their midst, and asks if Sting is suggesting Luger join their team for War Games. Brother… that was like three minutes ago. Where ya been? You been hanging out with Mongo between shows?
They build the tension with Savage grabbing the mic to clarify that he votes “no.” We got it, Mach’. Thanks. Hogan is the deciding vote.
After brief consideration, Hogan is on board. Hogan says if Luger turns at Fall Brawl, he’ll at least have him in a cage already. I actually like that logic a lot. It’s a pretty bad ass way to look at life. Might even be one of the straight up hardest things Hogan has ever said.
9:58:30 PM – Luger mulls it over. Had he not wanted to be a part of the team, five minutes ago he could have grabbed Sting and been like, “Dude, stop lobbying for me. It’s cool. I already have plans Sunday. Game’s on. Got some of my bros coming over to the house. Throwing steaks on the grill. I’m good. Honestly.”
Naturally, Luger accepts if he can get a title shot down the line. They freak out, but accept. That’s the team for War Games: Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Sting, and Lex Luger. I wouldn’t fight ‘em. Not in 1995 anyway. I would now. I’d probably even be cool going it alone now. Buy yeah, definitely not in 1995.
9:59 PM – We go to the announce table. Mongo is holding Pepe the Chihuahua again. This time Pepe is wearing a sombrero and scarf. Mongo calls Bobby a “weasel” and his own dog a “rat.” That wasn’t nice, Mongo. You’re supposed to be Pepe’s friend. He says, “They (Team Hogan) better get their collective poopoo together or they’re gonna get beat!”
So mark it down, folks. September 11th, 1995: Steve “Mongo” McMichael becomes the first broadcaster in history to use the word “poopoo” in a sentence on national television. It’s the single most important thing to ever happen on September 11th.
Bischoff hypes the pay-per-view for only the third time tonight because all he ever cared about were television ratings. We get a graphic of next week’s hot matchup on Nitro: “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, fresh off delivering a grade-A ass-whooping to the man they call Vader, will be taking on Johnny B. Badd and so much more. So long, folks!
Alright, with Week 2 in the books, we are starting to see Eric Bischoff’s ruthless aggression toward the competition. A lot of people in the know claim that Bischoff’s goal was to put Vince McMahon out of business. While Bisch denies those allegations, it certainly sounded like he wanted to damage his competition’s viewership. You know what? I can’t really blame him.
Eric Bischoff and WCW had been the clear-cut number two promotion since its inception. If we want to go back even further, the NWA had been number two to the WWF since HulkaMania kicked off. It was never even close. Now, with a live Monday night program, Bischoff and his roster were given the platform they needed to get out of the basement.
The initial excitement of their new toy – Nitro, in this case – hasn’t worn off just yet. They’re getting the ball rolling. It’s up to them to pump out consistent, compelling television. Now, in 2014, we might look at The Dungeon of Doom angle as “silly,” but as an 11 year old, I bought into this hook, line, and sinker. It’s just a matter of preventing things from becoming monotonous. Nitro was bringing heated promos and wild brawls centered around the action in the ring whereas Raw was mostly a showcase of solid wrestling with some mild tomfoolery worked in to progress storylines and sell pay-per-views. They just weren’t going to the lengths of WCW yet. Like I said, things are just warming up.
Nitro Results (9/11/95):
Alex Wright def. Sabu via DQ
US Championship: Sting © def. VK Wallstreet via pinfall
“Macho Man” Randy Savage def. Scott Norton via pinfall
WCW World Heavyweight Championship: Hulk Hogan © def. Lex Luger via DQ
Raw Results (9/11/95):
The British Bulldog def. Razor Ramon via DQ
The Smoking Gunns def. Rad Radford & The Brooklyn Brawler via pinfall
Dr. Isaac Yankem DDS def. Scott Taylor via pinfall
Intercontinental Championship: Shawn Michaels © def. Sid via pinfall
Final Ratings
Nitro: 2.4
Raw: 2.5
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