2015-11-16

The Steam Machine launch sale is LIVE! Rocket League leaks, Borderlands Online gets noped, and I’m a MOD! Look at me! Then Trine 3: Artifacts of Power faces the CHAIRQUISITION! All this, plus your hate mail.

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Steam

http://store.steampowered.com/sale/playwsteammachines/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNWCRH8HQUI

http://www.engadget.com/2015/11/10/we-hate-valve-steam-controller-because-its-different/

http://store.steampowered.com/app/252950/?snr=1_7_15__13

http://i.imgur.com/gePnU3B.jpg

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=550768935

http://steamcommunity.com/app/214490/discussions/0/620695877286051362/

http://store.steampowered.com/app/378120?snr=1_41_4__42

http://store.steampowered.com/app/58610/

http://steamcommunity.com/app/58610/discussions/0/624075566952474599/

http://forums.eugensystems.com/viewtopic.php?f=78&t=49633#p798200

https://patreon.com/linuxgamecast

News

http://wccftech.com/intel-broadwell-e-specifications-leaked-core-i7-6950x-flagship-processor-10-cores-20-threads-core-i7-6900k-core-i7-6850k-core-i7-6800k-detailed/

http://lunarg.com/lunarg-splitting-to-address-vulkan-needs/

https://www.unrealengine.com/blog/unreal-engine-4-10-released

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-H7P6tmCAc&feature=youtu.be

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2015/11/09/borderlands-online-cancelled/

https://www.unvanquished.net/?p=896

Review

http://store.steampowered.com/app/319910/

Hate Mail

http://slexy.org/view/s2Mespzu31

http://slexy.org/view/s207FPOXKr

Steam News :

Colour key: Venn Jordan Pedro

Steam Machine Launch Sale of MEH
http://store.steampowered.com/sale/playwsteammachines/

Not a single new game.

Look at all the games I already own.

Very disappointed at the spread.  Still, we’ve thrown chairs at a good lot of these games.   Good chance to pick them  up if you haven’t already.

Speaking of Boxen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNWCRH8HQUI

And not one nipple.   Shame

Don’t worry, he’s making more.

The Sandman brought us, not a dream, but a Steam Machine.

Control
http://www.engadget.com/2015/11/10/we-hate-valve-steam-controller-because-its-different/

Granted, it’s a moon-device but think of it like this.

If you could hack up a way to use it on consoles.. you would be banned for cheating.

It’s not a replacement for the Keyboard+Gerbil.

Nay, it allows you to play games that require such from the comfort of your couch-organ.

I get the sense that this is not an instant gratification device.  There is a learning curve, and if you throw a hissy fit because it’s not what you’re used to, stick with your xbone.

…And after getting one, it literally took 5 minutes to grok the damn thing.    And I’m not even all that smart!

The “gamers” say that the Steam Machines are pointless and that the controller is too alien to ever be “mainstream”.

I’m waiting for the current console generation to “end”, just so I can see Sony and Microsoft sell non-backwards compatible 30FPS consoles.

I wanna see how that will fly in the face of the “pointless” Steam machines.

As for the controller, if it’ll get rid of the mouse/keyboard dependency for those games which its developers couldn’t be arsed to figure out controller input, even though the game is very clearly designed with one in mind.

I’m all for that too.

Rocket Man
http://store.steampowered.com/app/252950/?snr=1_7_15__13

Check out the system req on Brad.

I knew it! http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/security_holes.png

Aaaaaaand it’s gone!

Not even part of the Steam Machine launch sale.

Seriously. What with all that “Pre order the steam controller and get rocket league” promotion, one would expect that It’d be a launch title.

Mind you, no new games actually got released for SteamOS yesterday.  Kind of a whimper

The FKR is even on sale.

Look at me
http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=550768935

Mr Meeseeks, can you create a Garry’s mod version of yourself?

Caaaaaaaaaaan Doooooooo!

Some of those comments make me cry.

“Should there be a Rick and Morty Dark rp server???”

It does seem to be the first Rick and Morty related character model to appear.

Seeing as I am the great Plagemarizo, I predict it won’t take long for at least Rick or Morty to show up.

MODS De-Alienate players
http://steamcommunity.com/app/214490/discussions/0/620695877286051362/

But can you replace the model with Pedobear?

I might have a go since the Alien is more of a booga booga nuisance vs threat.

I like Peikko’s comment:

‘So you made “Gone Home” out of Alien Isolation.’

Same day SEGA
http://store.steampowered.com/app/378120?snr=1_41_4__42

SEGA is getting hells chummy /w the Linux as of late.

Sonic the Hedgehog confirmed for SteamOS!

Granted, I could could give two FKs about Football (much less management)

Good on them for making with the simultaneous release

Not to win
http://store.steampowered.com/app/58610/

http://steamcommunity.com/app/58610/discussions/0/624075566952474599/

Confirmed glitchy graphics.

It’s been busted since Nov 23, 2014.

NVIDIA even told them how to sort it on 2 Mar 2015.

We’re talking about a 5sec fix.

That’s just fucking lazy man.    They’re on the shit list until they fix that.

As Venn pointed out, according to Arthur Huillet from NVidia, all they need to do is rebuild the game without a single flag in the OpenGL Map Buffer Range function call.

News:

Speeed
http://wccftech.com/intel-broadwell-e-specifications-leaked-core-i7-6950x-flagship-processor-10-cores-20-threads-core-i7-6900k-core-i7-6850k-core-i7-6800k-detailed/

Starting at the low low price of two arms and a leg!

The price is babby hands.

It will be their new $999 part.

The 16-core AMD will retail for $998.99

I started to get mad about getting my skylake now, but then I realized that there’s no way in hell I could rationalize a $1k CPU

Live long and Google
http://lunarg.com/lunarg-splitting-to-address-vulkan-needs/

Of course google yoinked their development dudes

Support from these two big players is part of the reason why developers should be looking at adopting vulkan over the other solutions

Unreal
https://www.unrealengine.com/blog/unreal-engine-4-10-released

“including 53 improvements submitted by the community of Unreal Engine developers on GitHub”

This, this right here is why UE4 will become the dominant engine for the foreseeable future.

^

A bunch of bugfixes, enhanced android support for controllers

Binaries now respects the hyperthreading flag under linux

Making UE4 open source was possibly the best move they could have made.

The community tests it, debugs it, fixes it, improves it.

All Epic needs to do is take care of the legal BS and proprietary integrations with drivers and stuff.

DN4E Update
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-H7P6tmCAc&feature=youtu.be

They decided to not use Unreal 4 because it “primarily support Windows”

Now they have 5+ people working on the project.

Latest beta has an arena mode.

They promise more than one update a year.

In the plagemarized words of Adam Gontier: Whether this game is dead or still alive, I don’t care!

I honestly don’t care about it anymore. By the time it comes out, IF it ever comes out (which I highly doubt), it will be a dated ass game in every single respect when compared to everything else.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when you give a developer money without them having to do a damn thing to earn said money.

Whoa whoa whoa!  Hold on.   People are still giving these clods money?

I hope not, but I’m far too jaded to have that much faith in stupid people.

I sincerely doubt this game has enough mass appeal to get buy-in from anyone beyond its original core audience.

What could have been
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2015/11/09/borderlands-online-cancelled/

“We’re not doing so well, money-wise. I know, let’s open a QA office in Las Vegas!“

After closing several other offices.

It’s not like they have offices in SanFran *glares at humble*

If Tabula Rasa was any indication, a game like this would have a very loyal core fanbase that would very upset when they shut down the game servers in 18 months after release.

Colour
https://www.unvanquished.net/?p=896

They took some time to clean up their codebase.  Good on them for not keeping old shit in.

Aww, no funny out of context commit messages

zomg colourful messages

CHAIRQUISITION:
- Nooope

- Not sure if want

- Check it out

- Shutupandtakemymonies

Game: Trine 3: Artifacts of Powaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

Webzone: http://store.steampowered.com/app/319910/
Devel: Frozenbyte

Engine: Frozenbyte Engine v3.00

Price: 21.99 / CDN 23.99

Wazzat: Trine 3: The Artifacts of Power is a platforming game of action, puzzles and adventure, and the sequel to the award winning Trine and Trine 2. Reunite with the three heroes in an all-new adventure, now for the first time in full 3D!

Makes with the working

V-

WAR 4K support, Brad!?

Not that it matters since @ 1080 it can go from 24 to 113 FERPS for Fk all reason.

Launches in under a minute… progress.

J-

If you launch Trine 2 @1080 Fullscreen while your desktop is in 4k, the game will scale.  Trine 3 just takes up a teeny corner of my screen.  AND fucks up big picture mode!

P-

Total-

Shiny / Sounds

V-

It’s Trine and even /w the 3D sauce it will still crush your eye pussys.

Same colourful world same fantastic soundtrack.

Dalek voices were delightful.

J-

Pre Rendered cutscenes are a nice touch, but aside from updating the models it doesn’t look any better or worse than Trine 2

P-

I’d give it 4 chairs weren’t it for the fact that, when the physics start fucking up, the jittering and general nonsense that come with it break whatever immersion I had had at that point.

Total-

Control

V-

HTH do you play this thing /w a controlla?

I gave up on that while attempting to run around the map.

Keyboard + gerbil work but only allows for better precision when killing yourself to death.

Yes, this is a 3D game /w a locked 2D camera.

You know what would have unfucked this nightmare-fuel?

20 degrees of left/right/up/down camera control.

J-

3D  platforming with no camera control = Rubbish

Futzed around with the playstation controller until I found a configuration that was workable.   Still rubbish!

Steam controller!  You are this game’s one saving grace!  Barely!

P-

The Death Procession!

I genuinely can’t process how many times I’ve died because I thought a given platform was at a certain depth and it turned out not to be.

Keyboard and gerbil controls are fine.

They’re about as tight as they were in the previous Trine games and that’s fine.

Unfortunately, while the past games we’re 2.5D (fully 3D rendered, 2D playing field), this one is fully 3D with no camera control.

Total-

FUN

V-

It quickly becomes “go back and hunt down the triangles you missed” …the game.

Seriously, that’s the only thing keeping this critter from being 2 hours long.

Trine is about puzzle solving not collecting Equilateral trineangles

Eight achievements are based on collecting said trineangles.

Unfortunately the puzzles are rock simple.

No powerups.

The unlimited lives caused me to take a Lemmings approach to gathering triangles.

Beat it in 8 arns so at $19.99 that breaks down to $2.49 per enjoyment-unit.

Now in all fairness we curb-checked Trine in 10.

How unfinished is this critter?

Well there’s a crouch/stealth mechanic in the game that is never used.

The last “level” is just that. A bit of running and a boss fight.

J-

My little multiplayer stint with Venn fucked up my playthrough.   Didn’t have enough triangles to unlock levels prior to or after where we played, so I had to go back and start collecting

And seriously, that’s what this game is about.   Collecting triangles.   I’m fine with fetch quests if they advance the plot, but the triangles don’t.  You just gotta collect them to PAY FOR LEVELS IN THIS GAME I BOUGHT

…Well, Venn bought, but whatever

P-

Some games shine in multiplayer.

The only thing that shines in Trine 3 multiplayer are the bugs!

At one point on Thursday when we did the little play around for the video you’re seeing in the background, I had 3 reticles on screen.

The physics are constantly fucking up.

At one point, me and Venn were waiting for Jordan to make a jump and the physics glitched out so bad, one of the platforms shot up to the sky and nailed itself on the physics ceiling.

I… Honestly don’t want to play more of the game until we need to.

Total-

Final -

Hate Mail:

Hello
http://slexy.org/view/s2Mespzu31

the racist tree of us

Well, Andrei, thanks for being a fan.   But I’ll let you in on a secret.   The easiest way to ditch windows is to cold turkey that fucker.   Ditch it and don’t look back

Install
http://slexy.org/view/s207FPOXKr

No.  You see, although the bootloader is unlocked, a steam elemental is bound within.  It will react in a hostile manner if you try to put windows on it.

Why you’d want to put windows on Steam Machines, when all the hardware is packed together and there’s a mess of cables everywhere you look, is beyond me.

If you’re talking about the OS, well Alienware tried. Why don’t you ask them how the Alpha did?!

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