Jake is a sweetheart
Ezra is super crazy
Stupid Aria
- A Pretty Little Liars Haiku by a The Originals fan
Tuesday night fight night continues as I take over this week’s Pretty Little Liars review and forego my weekly dose of Elijah Mikaelson. I have a bit of a leg up on Amanda having watch Pretty Little Liars from the beginning, but thinking about PLL in an intelligent way is definitely beyond me. Check out Amanda’s review of The Originals and I hope she doesn’t get to mad at me for my attack on Season 4 Episode 16 of Pretty Little Liars.
The girls have led A right to Ali at the Busy Bee Inn or so they think. As we all know non of the information given on this show can be trusted. Literally everything they say could be wrong. How do you people keep up with this stuff? Everyone hurries to the Busy Bee Inn which is painted a horrid shade of yellow and really clashes with Spencer’s weird poncho trench coat that she seems super attached to. After four years of wandering into the woods and abandoned churches and stuff with only their stilettos to protect them the liars have finally brought some house hold weaponry with them. How come Hanna gets stuck with the girly pink flashlight? No one trusts her with a weapon? She is the only one I would trust with a hockey stick. Unfortunately we don’t get to see Emily beat anyone with a hammer while maintaining her perfect hair (man I’m jonesing for The Originals). Ali isn’t there obvi, but the window is broken so everyone assumes Ali is dead. Now that Ali is alive the majority of this program seems to be assuming she is dead again.
The next morning Spencer is looking perfect in her PJs on Toby’s couch until papa Spencer shows up and ruins everything. Apparently he’s been hanging out with Mrs. Dilaurentis because Jason is off the wagon. Was Jason on the wagon? What was he addicted to pomade? I totally don’t remember this. Anyway a dripping wet towel wrapped Toby interrupts the powwow to inform Spencer that the shower is working. Then the unthinkable happens, papa Spencer tells Toby to put pants on. What right does he have to come into a man’s home and instruct him to put pants on! Everyone knows that the first and only rule of Rosewood, Pennsylvania is to never ever tell Toby to put pants on. Toby puts his pants on and papa Spencer tells him about some settlement about his mom and I am so bored that I’m looking forward to the AT&T commercial that is waiting for me.
Now we get to Aria and the true moral of last night’s episode, Aria is an idiot. Jake is back from his tournament and not only has he won the tournament but somehow his abs have gotten more aby in the past month. He is excited to see Aria and is adorable and is more importantly completely unaware that Aria has been sleeping with Ezra again. Aria breaks the news to Jake and he’s a man about it and wants Aria to be happy, but is also super pissed because he’s obviously the better choice. Later Jake sees Ezra going bananas at some lady who probably spilt coffee on one of his first editions and is obviously startled. Being a good (if somewhat jealous) human being he warns Aria that Ezra is not what he seems. No duh. Ezra explains that he was not in Philly visiting his lacrosse buddy (lacrosse really?) but that he was talking to Maggie’s lawyer about seeing his non child. He really shouldn’t have the right to see Malcolm. In the grand scheme of that child’s life Ezra was pretty much a glorified baby sitter. Aria takes the bait and sticks with her totally mental decision to stay with her english teacher rather than her younger and hotter and nicer self defense teacher. So again I say, Aria you idiot.
Hanna is having a really rough time with Caleb’s departure, which is understandable as they are the only couple on this show that makes sense. She has taken to cleaning out her closet and I hope she’s sending those clothes to Pretty Little Liars fans across the world, because we’d all kill for Hanna’s closet. Travis comes over and is in a grey v-neck aka irresistible and a pool lesson turns into a crazy make out session. Travis tries to be a gentleman and suggest they wait until Hanna is less vulnerable but he gives him and we are rewarded with a nice shot of his extremely toned arms. Poor Travis, that boy is going to get his heart broken. Or maybe we shouldn’t say poor Travis, because knowing this show he’s probably evil.
Mrs. Marin comes in to interrupt the sexy times and help Hanna with her heartbreak by taking her to THE GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH. Please please please someone tell me where I can find this magical heaven of plate throwing decorated like a crazy art deco diner. I want to go there immediately and will pay exorbitant amounts of money to throw plates against a wall. Forget hitting your pillow or going for an angry jog, this place is home to the best catharsis on the planet. Hanna immediately feels better and finally looks like herself for the first time since Caleb left. If you had any doubt in your mind that Hanna and Mrs. Marin are the only likable people on Pretty Little Liars hopefully their mother/daughter bonding session has wiped that clean. They obviously are the only winners on Pretty Little Liars.
Jake is having a seriously bad day. He is pissed at getting dumped for a total asshat and is taking it out on his trusty punching bag. Only the asshat (or potentially someone else) has put some metal spikes in there and now Jake is bleeding all over the place. The implication is that he won’t be able to compete in his macho competition, but that better not be true. If Jake is not going to be with Aria anymore he should be left alone to live his abtastic life and not be annoyed by crazy english teachers.
So there we have it. There may not have been vampires or witches or werewolves, but there was plenty of pretty clothing and abs. So much abs. Fourth seasons tend to be a struggle point for a lot of shows and Pretty Little Liars is no exception. They’ve reached a stand still in the plot with the reveal that Ali is alive and the threats and A shenanigans are not as intriguing as they once were. At one time Pretty Little Liars could be considered a mystery series, but whatever the liars are looking for now it is not as interesting as Hanna’s love life and plate throwing skills. While I will continue to watch both The Originals and Pretty Little Liars on Tuesday nights after last night’s epic The Originals episode Pretty Little Liars certainly pales in comparison.
Oh crap, I totally forgot to talk about Emily. I got through that whole thing and barely mentioned Emily once. I guess that’s because she is so boring and annoying that no one cares. Ok, quick Emily recap. She still trusts Ali over everyone else because she is delusional. Emily is approached by creepy Shauna as Ali’s go between. It’s obvious Shauna is up to something, but Emily believes Ali is on her side and takes Shauna’s directions to meet her anyway. Emily spends the entire episode trying to figure out what to wear to her big reunion with Ali because once again Emily is delusional. Emily tells Spencer she’s meeting Ali and thinks Spencer won’t follow her or betray her trust (delusional much Emily). So Ali sees Emily and is “excited” to have found someone to trust. But no wait, Spencer is eavesdropping and Ali runs away. Spencer tells Emily she’s delusional, but Emily sides with Ali because she’s delusional and now Spencer and Emily are in a huge fight. Emily done.
Like I was saying the luster of this show has diminished this season and everything is crazy town. Let’s just hope that Aria figures out that Ezra is insane before she marries him. This episode was saved by Hanna (as episodes so often are) and though she may be Calebless she’s still a total bad ass.
Pretty Little Liars airs Thursday at 8/7c on ABC Family.
Catch Chaya’s regular Tuesday review of The Originals next week.
You Might Also Like:
J.K. Rowling to Co-Produce Stage Play based on Harry Potter
The Sing-Off 4.5 Recap: Sing-Off-apalooza
LeakyNews 2013 Reviews – Our Favorite Movies of the Past Year
First Official Trailer for How to Train Your Dragon 2 is Released
Elevenses: The Best Moments of the Eleventh Doctor
© CC Smith for LeakyNews, 2014. |
Permalink |
One comment |
Add to
del.icio.us
Post tags: Aria, Hanna Marin, pretty little liars
The post Pretty Little Liars 4×16 Recap: Aria You Idiot appeared first on LeakyNews.