It is October in Los Angeles and that means it’s time for American Apparel‘s yearly, somewhat ridiculous, somewhat great #AAHalloween costume ideas. Can you believe it?! It’s not really the Halloween season without the Downtown outfitters sharing often absurd ideas for what you should wear when trick-or-treating, courtesy of them. There is always a mild level of scandal to these looks (Costumes have been known to range from black face pandering to the over-sexed to the simply stupid, as we’ve seen in previous years.) and usually come at a high cost, too. This year doesn’t disappoint in all departments. Let these wears inspire your Halloween couture (or just serve as a good laugh).
Name: Rosie The Riveter
Concept: Feminist American icon from World War II who served as a symbol of the working, USA! USA! USA! woman, a person who was ready to drop what she was doing and help her country do things like build warships and airplanes. Rosie is as patriotic as a bald eagle carrying an apple pie spiked with Coca-Cola and Jack Daniels, to be served at a USO concert where Garth Brooks sings “Proud To Be An American” into infinity. (Note: every year, there is always an American Something costume. This is this year’s.)
Silliness: This is a great costume, actually. The one thing that is silly about this is that they chose to go with making this a kid’s costume versus an adult costume. Perhaps Rosie is just safer for kids?/Perhaps Rosie isn’t sexy enough for adults?
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Fairly high, considering you don’t have to alter the clothing.
Cost: ~$190 to ~$215, which is a fuck ton. This is mostly because the shoes are $80.
Name: Dalmatian
Concept: Awwww, look at you! You are a cutesy, poopsy, black-micro-spotted dalmatian dog, aren’t you? How adorable are you! But, wait, are you sure you aren’t a panda bear? I mean, I know a lot of dogs and them ears look real panda to me. Are you willing to take a test to verify you are in fact a dog? Don’t mean to be insulting, Dalma, I just don’t want you embarrassing yourself.
Silliness: See above. Why didn’t they give her floppy ears?! If you are going to do this, give yourself floppy ears. You’ll also notice the photographed version of the costume is the non-slutty variety since spotted mini-dresses are included in the shopping list…
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Fairly high. Aside from the floppy ears, everything else is wearable.
Cost: ~$90-ish since you can opt to go without their shoes and/or only get the mini-skirt and bow.
Name: “Tuareg Tribesman”
Concept: I had no idea but this is what it is.
Silliness: This is the required “Is that racist?” costume. Just imagine if this was instead “American Indian” or “African Tribesman” or “Australian Aborigine” or “Southeast Asian Tree Person” or something else along those lines of fetishized obscure nomadic minority.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: No clue considering the costume is so WTF.
Cost: ~$200 to ~$270…a high cost for vaguely racist!
Name: Electro Girls
Concept: “Damn, B: my hair is so damn frizzy these days.” “Shut up, me too! I don’t know what I’m going to do about it.” “Right? And Halloween is around the corner and I have no costume.” “OMG, girl. I have an idea.” “What?! I need a costume too!” “Why don’t we, like, just leave our hair as is and dress up kind of like we got electrocuted but not but we might be like lightning or something but, you know, we’ll have an excuse for our frizzy hair.” “I don’t get it.” Girl goes in to grab the other’s hand: “Just trust me..”
Silliness: This is like when your mom made up a generic superhero for you for Halloween as a kid because she didn’t want to spend money on an actual costume. This is like the generic cereal brand version of a superhero or element or electrician. What is this??
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: If you are a fan of bodysuits, you are good to go.
Cost: ~$100 to ~$170 (does not include lighting bolts)
Name: Mermaid
Concept: Azalea Banks’ idea of a mermaid. Isn’t that so 2012?
Silliness: I mean, it’s Halloween and you are a mermaid. Thank heavens they didn’t opt for this (although they’re basically the same). BTW: you have to bedazzle your own bra.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: I mean, would you wear the Siren Dress?
Cost: ~$100 to ~$220 (I mean, the Siren Dress was made to be this.)
Name: Baby Einstein
Concept: This is pretty adorable but also pretty silly.
Silliness: Just look at his little hand scratching his head! “I’m so smart but so little,” he says to himself. “How will I trick or treat when I know that high fructose corn syrup in candies will make my gums sore?!” Alternatively this could be called “Baby Coke Head” given all the white on his face.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Pretty high? Unless you are dumbass parent who cuts off the sleeves of this shirt to make it look more “Einstein.”
Cost: ~$45 to ~$120
Name: Showgirl
Concept: Marge Simpson isn’t sexy enough for you? Well wax that pubic area, lady: you are going to be a Showgirl!!
Silliness: Good on you if you want to be showing off your them lady lips.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: If you are still planning on going to the beach this time of years, have at.
Cost: ~$70 (for swimsuit and stockings) to ~$220 (for full package) Bedazzles are not included.
Name: Frida Kahlo
Concept: I’d posit that this is actually the best costume they’ve come up with this year. Simple, re-useable, iconic, not-too-ridiculous, and you likely will not run into another Frida either. You can easily go to a thrift store, inspired by this costume, and make something yourself too.
Silliness: Not silly at all!
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: High! None of the clothes get tainted in any way.
Cost: ~$150 (depends on what you want to get/leave out—flowers are not included either)
Name: Statue
Concept: There had to be some painted face someone and here he is: gray face dude, everyone! Perhaps he is the Elephant Man in a more literal sense?
Silliness: I like that they ambiguously called him “Statue.” It’s like someone in the costume pitch meeting was like, “Well, huh, we need to do some sort of faux-black face but need a really clever way of doing it…how about a statue?!”
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Although parts might be caked in paint, could be high.
Cost: ~$120 to ~$310, strictly based on if you want to get the expensive boots.
Name: White Noise
Concept: Why isn’t this Composition Notebooks? That would have been cuter but I “get” this.
Silliness: If you can convince your dude to wear a marbled black-and-white unitard, then you are good.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Low. Unless you are going to Sweaty Sundays.
Cost: ~$54 to ~$96, by far the most affordable.
Name: Native Princess
Concept: “An extra in Wes Anderson’s forthcoming take on the classic children’s book, Peter Pan…”
Silliness: You would so be that asshole parent if you dress your kid like this. This kid probably has a leather trick-or-treating bag that will only be filled with Little Flower Candy Company candies, all of which will clog said kid’s access to reaching their pink iPhone 5C.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Ugh.
Cost: ~$86 to ~$120 but this kid will probably go to Barneys for this shit, anyway.
Name: Miami Detective
Concept: Miami Vice minus Philip Michael Thomas, AKA eighties-ish kind of looking dude with aviators.
Silliness: This is silly. This is a non-costume!
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: This is not a costume: you are just buying clothes.
Cost: ~$330
Name: Fancy Fish
Concept: Imagine if instead of oil being leaked into the Gulf Coast if sexy glitter was leaked and then these weird, Rainbow Fish-esque creatures started to appear: that’s this costume. That or they are groupies for your Azalea Banks mermaid from above.
Silliness: You’d think this was silly but this is actually a costume. The name “Fancy Fish” is the worst but the costume isn’t terrible.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Debatable.
Cost: Blue fish, ~$130-ish; pink fish, $170-ish; and purple fish, $105-ish.
Name: Speakeasy Girl
Concept: “Flapper” is not a copyrighted word or concept. Why is it “Speakeasy Girl”? That makes me crazy: just call her a flapper! Or, hey, be more creative and put her with a guy in a black suit and slicked back, middle-parted black hair and call them, “Zelda and F. Scott Fitzgerald.” That’s a totally LA costume!
Silliness: It’s not terrible but, still, “Speakeasy Girl”?? Who the fuck is going to go go to a party and, when asked what they are, reply “Speakeasy Girl”? Whoever made the names of these needs to get a slap on the hand.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: No fucking clue. Plus, you have to put that fringe on yourself.
Cost: ~$60 to ~$160
Name: City Mouse & Country Mouse
Concept: This is really cute and people will get who you are and you can re-wear all of this: this is why we have Am Appy costumes. This is a perfect costume! You could also be Topo Gigio, too.
Silliness: Not too silly as it is perfect and clever for the season.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Pretty high. You’ll also notice they have “mouse costume accessories” now.
Cost: City mouse, ~$500 (because they want you to buy shit like their $145 leather purse). Country mouse, ~$300.
Name: Toy Soldier
Concept: There is nothing wrong with this costume but there is nothing right with it either. You know when someone goes to a Halloween party and they are wearing head to toe Urban Outfitters and they are a “Hipster” or head to toe Hot Topic and they are an “Emo Kid”? That’s kind of how this feels except you are wearing all green. This is like the statue but with more direction.
Silliness: Whatever with this one.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Some—if you like this shade of green a lot.
Cost: ~$160
Name: Punks
Concept: This is one of those “What do I have in my closet that I can force into a costume?” costumes. Punks are everyday people, non-obscure cultural figures that aren’t Halloween fantasy at all. That said, if you want to be Sid and Nancy, they seem to have everything available for you…
Silliness: Meh.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: High—especially if you like wearing fake leather pants, bros.
Cost: For the Nancy, ~$170. For the Sid, ~$190-ish.
Name: Paintbrushes
Concept: This costume is so bad. Paintbrushes?! They don’t look like brushes at all. If anything, they look like pens in inkwells. How many paintbrushes have you used where their handle are the color of the paint you paint with? This is so forced and is making me so angry. (Also: this is a crappy version of this costume from last year.)
Silliness: The worst.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Could go either way. Your “painting” the bottom of the dress is what may kill you.
Cost: ~$150
Name: Paint Bucket
Concept: This is so fucking cute I want to paint an entire room with it, painting over the paintbrush girls.
Silliness: This is not silly! It is the best kid’s costume.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Maybe? I mean, babies wear one piece shit a lot.
Cost: ~$40-ish.
Name: Mondrian Girl
Concept: Didn’t want to be the Lichtenstein girl? Didn’t want to be Frida? Be a Mondrian Girl! This costume is a good one but relies on you defacing white Am Appy clothes. If you are cool with that, then all good. It will take a lot of work to make yourself look like that costume, though. (This is an outtake from an idea from last year, too.)
Silliness: It is both silly and not silly.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Low since you painted over your new clothes.
Cost: ~$130
Name: Grandparents
Concept: There’s always a costume they do that is just you wearing their clothes but with makeup on. If you are going to wear Am Appy and be “Grandparents” for Halloween, the joke is on you. This is like Punks but not as clever. (Essentially the same as this from last year minus the green paint.)
Silliness: Very silly.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: High. Then again, that’s the point!
Cost: ~$270 for grandma and ~$300 for grandpa.
Name: Fortune Teller & Sea Goddess
Concept: Not Frida and not mermaid. It isn’t those other costume! Nothing to see here, people. Move along. Show’s over, folks! (Note the Fortune Teller is only here to sell Am Appy jewelry. Also note the Sea Goddess has a skirt around her ankles. As if that’ll stay put all night!)
Silliness: If you didn’t know these costumes weren’t already available as better options, then it isn’t silly.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Decent.
Cost: Fortune Teller, ~$220-ish. Sea Goddess, ~$120.
Name: Crow
Concept: Not-Black Swan. (Every year there is a bird, too.)
Silliness: Come on: that film was popular in 2010!!
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Meh.
Cost: ~$100 to ~$200-ish—plus feathers!
Name: Plastic Doll
Concept: Barbie and Ken but for kids. This is an example of something that could have been really great if made for adults. Could also be neon Olivia Newton John circa “Physical” too.
Silliness: Not too bad. Feel free to adopt this, old people!
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Decent.
Cost: ~$130 (but for kid’s sizes)
Name: Dead Schoolgirls
Concept: There is always a costume that requires your staining and ripping apart your new Am Appy clothes and this is that option. Last year it was a dead milkman and this year it is a dead schoolgirl. They just need to cut the bullshit and put in “Zombie.”
Silliness: Not silly.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Poor since you fucking painted all over your clothes, yo.
Cost: Up to $400 dollars worth of shit you will get fake blood all over.
Name: Cosmo Girl
Concept: I hate you, Cosmo Girl. Like “Electro Twins,” this is some fake elemental bullshit that has nothing to do with anything and no one will “get” your costume. This is also the non-black face version of this costume from last year.
Silliness: Don’t get me started.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Maybe? You could also just get glowsticks and Saran Wrap and make this costume yourself.
Cost: ~$200-ish.
Name: Tooth Fairy
Concept: This is cute! It also is an easy costume and doesn’t involve too much in terms of assembly and execution. Just buy a crazy blonde wig, ladies! This will be a hit too since it is so safe and innocent and pure but also sexy and easily naughty, too.
Silliness: A great candidate for a costume!
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Meh: depends on who you are.
Cost: ~$225-ish
Name: Funny Bones
Concept: More like Bored Bones, amirite?
Silliness: Why isn’t this just called a skeleton?
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Low given that you will paint or sew bones all over it.
Cost: ~$40-ish
Name: Nutcracker
Concept: This costume is the most infuriating. It’s so maddening! Why a nutcracker?? And why does she look so horrifying?? This is such an unflattering and unrelated costume. This isn’t American Apparel’s Christmas Pageant Costume Ideas list, is it?
Silliness: So high. So bad. So silly.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: Some? Especially that stupid hat.
Cost: ~$420-ish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Name: Unicorn
Concept: I want to say that this is a great costume because it balances being slutty with being safe with being costumey with being not-costumey. It’s a well executed concept and gets into Halloween ~*~mYStIcIsM~*~ too. I’d also say that you could slut this costume up and walk around calling yourself a Uniporn, too.
Silliness: Not too bad.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: OK. All the shoelaces that make the tail are ridiculous, though.
Cost: ~$170 + tail and horn items.
Name: Frontier Boy
Concept: Miniature hipster on the run! CATCH HIM.
Silliness: It’s not awful, Huck. He just looks so cool.
Functionality/Non-Halloween-ability: High.
Cost: ~$60-ish but does not include bindle or raccoon hat.
Phew! That was a doozy. Can’t wait to see these around town for Halloween. Also, if you don’t have enough costume ideas from this, might we suggest you peruse last year’s selection. One thing that we will say about this year versus last year is that the layout of the costumes on the website sucks. The .gifs from last year and overall layout was so cool! Really phoned it in this year, Am Appy.