Greetings friends! I am excited to link up with my sweet friend Hadar from Miss Kindergarten for her 13 in '13 linky party. Brace yourself, this one is a doozy! (Insert vulnerability)
Oh 2013, you didn't fail in excitement or surprises. So, what are my top 13 memories/events from this year? Here we go!
I decided to do some remodeling this year of our living room and kitchen/dining area. I think over the last few years my style has totally changed and I am super happy with how it turned out. In our last house, we remodeled and made it perfect for someone else to sell it. I refuse to do that this time. It should be perfect for us. :) 
Do you see Joseph? LOL
My husband's family lives in West, TX and we were touched at our core when the explosion happened. I had to do something! Within three days (with the help of my amazing blog buds), we raised $20,000 for the West teachers and schools. Both the middle school and high school were completely destroyed in the explosion. It was such an honor God to chose me to serve in such a mighty way for this amazing community. This was a weird experience for me. Some people knew about my blog but this really put me out there to my administrators and local people. I don't tell my student's parents about my blog and really don't like to bring it up. It's my thing. I do it for me because I think it helps me be a better teacher and I love connecting with people. I really am mortified to know that people in my own town read my blog. For realz. My teammate asked to see my lashes after Thanksgiving break. My first thought...GASP she read my blog post. I know its crazy but I am totally cool with being invisible.
I was so fortunate to travel with my oldest, Grace, as a chaperone on her High School band trip to NYC. It was an amazing experience to share with her and her friends. We saw Phantom on Broadway and it was amazing!
I was totally lucky to score Notre Dame tickets on stubhub when they played at Dallas Cowboy stadium. ND is hubs all time favorite team. I remember in High School, he had a ND jacket he wore all the time, lol. Seriously, I think I have seen the movie Rudy five million times. True story.
I had a great time hanging out with my blogging besties in Vegas this summer. I can't begin to tell you how blogging has changed my life and how much I love these ladies. They are my virtual "team" and I am a better teacher because of them!
So, at the beginning of July I had this crazy idea of taking my youngest son and nephew to Legoland in CA. I was really feeling sad for Joseph because he couldn't go to youth camp. He just wasn't ready. He has mild, high functioning aspbergers and well, he has a lot of quirks that not everyone knows how to handle. On the flip side, he is crazy smart and LOVES legos. He can build the most amazing things with them. I hope he works for them one day! Anywho, within 24 hours I had a crazy trip planned for three of us to Legoland. It was amazing. Everything he had ever dreamed and everything he certainly deserved. I would never be able to do that without TPT so I am thankful for YOU and your willingness to try out my classroom creations. It really has been a blessing to my family.
Oh, I love my team! We added a new teammate this year and it has been wonderful. We went to Frog Street Press Splash Conference this summer and had a BLAST. We even wobbled together. Oh yes, these girls have moves. Everyday is fun because of them and when I am a mess, they take such good care of me. Seriously, blessed.
Back story...I haven't worn my actual wedding ring in over a year because I have lost weight and it is way too big. Since my fingers are smaller, my previous ring wasn't so comfortable in the back. It was too thick. We went to a few jewelers over the last year to try and get a new but smaller band or rebuild it. It was kind of a pain in the butt and I said forget it and wore a fake ring. It really didn't matter. I just had to wear something. Anyway, we went out shopping on Black Friday and I found this jewel. It was 50% off until 2:00 p.m. and we got to Gordon's at 1:30 p.m. It looks so much like my original ring but even though it looks like several bands, it is only ONE thin band in the back and I LOVE it. It's perfect. We bought it and I don't ever plan to take it off. Ever. :) The next week we celebrated our 12th anniversary. Oh, how I love this man! I may not be certain about many things in my life but one thing I know is true, God created him for me!
This year I opened up my own t-shirt shop. It has been fun designing t-shirts for teachers and even their kids. Everyone I know thinks I am crazy because I already have a ton on my plate but to me, this is FUN! You can see more shirts HERE.
This is my sister, Lindsay and I. She has an awesome fitness page, Losing it With Lindsay. She has been helping me meet my fitness goals. It's hard people! Over the last two years I have lost 80 pounds. I'm not going to lie, since school has started, I have gained a few pounds back. I have accepted that and I am ready to get back in the zone. I let a little depression set in, but JOY comes in the morning. I choose JOY and I choose ME.
I really don't have a pic for this but I presented at the Texas Kindergarten Conference and Frog Street Splash. They were totally terrifying but I did LOVE it. I never thought that would be something I would want to do or be good at. It's pretty amazing the places this little blog has taken me. I will present an entire day at the Texas Kindergarten Conference in February and a day at I Teach K in Vegas this summer. I will be at Frog Street Splash in San Antonio, TX too. I hope to see you there!!
Insert BIG gulp here. I am going to put on my big girl panties to share #12 because I haven't told some of my family yet but surely they don't read this thing! If you have followed my blog for a while, you know that I have been trying to get pregnant for a longgggg time, twelve years now. We adopted our three children and oh do I love them. It's been a hard journey. When I wrote my last post from 2012, I whispered that I hoped to get pregnant in 2013. I had no idea that I was actually pregnant at the time. Doctors said I may never be able to conceive because my body never ovulated...that is until October 2012. I had been sick for several weeks and finally went to my obgyn because I had lots of pressure among other things. I thought I had a cyst. My doctor advised me to go back on birth control but I didn't want to. We had a hard conversation. She said if it was really my desire to get pregnant, we needed to go see some big specialist in Austin and that would be costly. That night Nick and I talked, cried, and decided to move forward with the specialist. The next morning my doctor called and said I was pregnant!! I about fell to the floor. I actually told my team first. I was in such shock! For two weeks we watched the levels rise and fall. It didn't stick. But, it gave us HOPE. To us, that was God's way of saying don't go to the specialist. He is in control and will give us the desire of our heart. I was sad to miscarry but was filled with so much HOPE!
The next month, I got pregnant again. This was it. I could feel it. I had prayed for so long to know what it was like to feel pregnant and let me tell you it is no fun. I was so sick. I was thankful though. I could take it. Because of my situation, I went for lab work several times a week to monitor my progress. I had several ultrasounds. We were blessed. As soon as God gave my baby a heart, I got to hear it beat. It was amazing. The most beautiful sound. Then I went for my 11 week appt. That sweet heartbeat was gone. I'm not sure how I got home. I'm not sure why I even went to the appointment by myself. I had so many though. I wasn't prepared for that. I think my tears came from the depths of my toes. We were planning to share with the world the next week. We never even told our sons. I had never felt such a deep pain. I had a D&C. They did every test on my and the baby and the doctor said there is no reason I can't carry a baby to full term. More hope.
Here is the necklace hubs got me for Mother's Day. It is an angel with two kids. It means the world to me.
Here are the quotes I read often to help me. I keep them on my phone and when I feel discouraged, I read them.
Which leads me to #13. Another pivotal moment in 2013.
I found out that I miscarried on a Friday and that Sunday didn't think I was strong enough to go to church. What a thought! I texted my friends and asked them to take my family to the cross that morning. I logged onto my computer and received a FB message from a friend that resonated with me. She said to cry out to God because he knows what it is like to lose a child in the worst way. That gave me immediate peace. It gave me an understanding that God would never allow me to suffer such pain (knowing how horrible this hurt was) if it wasn't for his greater plan or purpose. I emailed a group of my friends that night and shared with them the revelation that God had given me, asked for prayers, and told them that JOY will come in the morning.
God's plan was still at work. One of my best friends had gotten pregnant a week before me. We had shared everything so far. The nausea, the exhaustion, the plans for future play dates. The next day, Monday, she went to the doctor and found out she had lost her baby. She already had a healthy child and didn't have the problems I did. She was in complete shock. When she got home, she opened my email and read it to her husband. It was the email of the message God gave to me Sunday morning. They cried and prayed together. She came to see my after my D&C and told me how much God used my story and that email to provide much healing and peace to her and her husband. I cried and told God that if I had to lose my baby to give her HIS message and peace, then I am okay with that. She later shared my email with a friend of hers when she miscarried the next month.
Then, last month my other best friend miscarried. Actual, we have a group of five and three of us have miscarried this year which is just craziness. I was the first and I was certainly there to hold their hand during their time of sadness. I have always been the "mom" of the group so it just seemed fitting that my role was to have the greatest empathy as we walk this journey together. God's word for me has become a message of hope to others and that helps me to heal.
This is the reason for my latest tiny bout of sadness. My baby was due in November and well, that was hard. I put on a few pounds and shed a few more tears but I know God is faithful. I will continue to be a living vessel for his will.
Why do I share this now? Well, I think it's a good refection for myself. I want to look back on this post in a year and see how far I have come. It's proof of the difference a year can make. I have also learned that I am not alone. No one should ever have to suffer in silence but I am proof that JOY comes in the morning! Posting this is crazy because much of this I haven't shared with my all of my family or even my children but I do feel compelled and it must be purposeful. Really this is the cliff notes. I could write a book about my journey this year.
So my word for 2014 is
because I am standing on the promises of God. I believe he will give me the desires of heart. I hope to find a better balance so I can be the best wife, mother, teacher, and friend. I *hope* this will be the year we add to our family but no matter what, I feel blessed. I just want to make a difference and to know that I did everything I could to leave my mark on 2014.
Whatever you plans and goals are for 2014, I wish you well!
Love and virtual hugs!