So you’re trying to form a good habit? Or break a bad habit? In this guide, I’ll show you exactly how to build a good habit into your daily routine (and make it stick!).
What is a habit, anyway?
Lets wind waaaay back to the beginning and define exactly what a habit is, before we start creating habits randomly. A habit is defined as an activity or practice that you do automatically, or regularly, without (too much) thought. Sometimes habits can be addictions too, which follows the same logic. You might’ve seen articles or heard podcasts that break down the habits of highly successful people, or the habits of wealthy people, or the habits of aspirational goddesses. There’s no magical combination of habits that you can copy that will earn YOU success, that’s something you need to figure out your own special formula for. BUT there’s a lot to be said for cultivating some good habits in your every day life that will carry you towards your dreamiest goals.
Why is having habits important?
Habits have a way of anchoring certain activities into your day. Having habitual practice can make (or break) the goals you have set for your life and business. It’s super important to set a few activities as non-negotiables in your day in order to propel yourself forward, create structure, and help you to focus on the most important tasks for your day.
Habits help you to stick to your priorities without getting distracted. Having a morning routine, which is simply a set of habits, can give you clarity when you first wake up, and set you up for a successful day, whether your focus is work or fun. You can scatter habits at any point throughout the day, and they can be used as anchors for switching activities, or for focussing your mind on the next task.
Here’s a few examples to illustrate why having good habits can set you up for success:
You have a habit of exercising every morning as soon as you get out of bed.
This habit is something that is done FIRST in the morning. If you’ve ever tried to make exercise a priority in your life, you will KNOW how hard this can be without a routine. Having it set in your mind as the very first thing that you do when you get out of bed prevents you from getting distracted doing something else instead, and has the added bonus of getting your body moving and your blood pumping so you’re alert and awake for the next thing in your morning.
You have a habit of turning off your computer at 5pm every day.
Working from home, or working on your own business or side hustle can become all-encompassing in your life. I have been guilty of sitting at my computer long into the night (and let’s face it, into the next morning), with no clear boundary on when work stops. Having a conscious habit of TURNING OFF your computer (or closing your laptop, or turning off email notifications for the day) at a certain time informs your brain that the task is finished and it’s time to move onto the next thing.
You have a habit of practicing a no-technology day once a week.
Setting aside time to spend without your loved one (your iPhone) at your side seems like a huge sacrifice, but imagine the benefits it could give you! Removing the distraction of technology once a week, or even just once a month, can open you up to some fresh ideas and quality time spent with yourself, or your friends/family. Being conscious of how you spend your free time, and doing something tech-free gives you access to new ways of thinking, and being more present in your environment and relationships.
I went ahead and built out a full 12-month habit tracker in Google Sheets for you to use. Click on the button below to grab that magic and get tracking today!
What’s the difference between a good habit and a bad habit?
It could easily be said that unhealthy habits are “bad” and healthy habits are “good”, but it’s not really that simple. At first glance, having an exercise habit is obviously good, and healthy, right? What if you start exercising 6 hours every day (and you’re not training to be in the next Marvel movie?) - is it healthy then? Being smart about your habits, making sure they feel good, empowering and valuable to you is the most important thing. Habits are a super-personal thing too, so habits that other people swear by might not float your boat, and THAT’S OK. You do you, babe!
How do I develop a good habit?
I hear you, it’s great to know all about habits, but how can you develop some habits of your own? Then, once you’ve created a habit, how can you stick with it and make it a priority?
Creating good habits doesn’t have to be a chore, or difficult. And there are a few ways you can go about it (yay!!).
1. Start with small habit changes
If something seems like it’s going to be challenging, annoying or just difficult to stick with, your brain will try to protect you from that perceived pain at all costs. I know that you’re better than sabotaging yourself, so let’s start small.
If getting up every morning and running 5k makes you want to sob, how about running 2k? Still no? Why not try running 1k? There’s no limit to how small you can go… getting up and stretching? Go for it! Even by just putting your gym clothes on (and that’s all), you are STARTING a habit, no matter how small. Suddenly, the barrier to entry is much lower and your brain, which will always take the path of least resistance, will put up waaaaay less of a fight to the command “Put gym clothes on” to “Run 5k, now!” if it’s a new habit that you’re trying to develop.
The trick with starting small is to commit to the small action every day, and little by little, expand upon it, add another tiny challenge each day, and in no time you’ll be ready to (happily) commit to your 5k run every morning.
2. Try habit chaining
Habit what-now? I’m willing to be that you have at least SOME habits already in your daily routine. Some things that you do every day, no matter how small. Some examples might be brushing your teeth, showering, making breakfast, waking up, eating lunch, or getting ready for bed.
Habit chaining is the practice of ADDING your new, desired habit onto one of your existing habits. That way, you don’t need to create a new habit schedule for your day, you can simply tag a new habit onto an old one. Like a chain… a chain of beautiful, powerful habits.
Let’s say you want to start a habit of dream journaling every morning. The best time to journal your dreams is the moment you wake up, so before picking up your phone and scrolling social media, plan to add journalling into your habit chain.
Another habit chaining example might be that you want to add a habit of meditation into your day. Find a time that feels “right” for you, and go ahead and chain it in!
The power of chaining habits is that it sets you up for knowing what to do next, and there’s really no limit on how many habits you can chain together to build out your day.
3. Prepare for new habits in advance
Nothing can stop good intentions in their tracks like a tiny hurdle. Like we talked about before, your brain wants to take the path of least resistance, so if you are trying to eat healthier, and you open the fridge and it’s full of chocolate milk, you’d better bet your brain isn’t thinking about salad.
A great way to cement a habit from a good intention into a solid practice is to PREPARE. It means planning ahead, and laying out the options so that when it comes time for your activity or practice, everything is there, ready and waiting. This means, if you’re trying to eat healthy, you have fresh produce in your fridge, or you have a meal plan that you make every week. Removing the guess work at the time is a WHOLE LOT LESS WORK for your brain, and ensures that your habits become ingrained much more easily.
This same idea works for other habits too - if you want to exercise in the morning, make sure your exercise clothes are laid out and ready for you to change into in a convenient place. Or if you’re trying to journal, have a pen and notebook handy so you don’t have to search while you’re half asleep.
These three tips on developing habits work well on their own, but they’re powerful af if you put them all together into one unstoppable good-habit-generator!
Any tips on how to break a bad habit?
What happens if you have a bad habit that you want to break, or change? This cam be tricky, because habits can be addictions, or like we talked about above, automatic behaviours that you do without thinking. You can reverse-engineer your bad habits, and replace them with good habits instead. It’s definitely not easy, but it’s 100% do-able, especially because I know you’re motivated to change things for the better. As a first step, try to notice what you’re doing, or thinking when a bad habit pops up.
Here’s an example. You eat take-out three times every week and would like to cut it down to one to save money. First, you need to notice when and why you’re ordering take-out. Is it because of convenience? Is it because you’re too tired too cook? Is it because you don’t know what to cook? There’s tonnes of reasons. Take note of yours, when you order take-out, and become conscious of them. Once you’re aware of your ‘triggers’ you can pay attention to them and consciously make a different decision. Like we talked about in the examples on creating good habits, you can avoid ordering takeout by having a meal plan that you make in advance once a week, or restricting yourself to $30 a week spending on take-out food. The important thing is to be conscious of your behaviour, and don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t suddenly whipping up Michelin starred meals in your kitchen every night. We are all human and change takes time and dedication.
Personally, I had a bad habit of biting my nails that I could NEVER break, my whole life. I tried absolutely EVERYTHING, from those awful bitter-tasting nail polishes, to painting my nails, to having acrylic nails applied (for like, a whole year, and the minute they were off, I was biting my nails again). I read endless articles, I thought long and hard about what MADE me bite my nails (I still don’t know), I tried bargaining with myself. I seriously tried EVERYTHING. I was so incredibly embarrassed by my hands, I never wanted anyone to see my nails, and I wished more than anything I could have beautiful manicures and not hide my hands away. I wish I could give you a step-by-step guide on how to stop a bad habit, but the truth is, I woke up one day and thought to myself “I’m not a nail-biter anymore.” I KNOW this sounds crazy, and it wasn’t something that I consciously decided, or had been working on, but it just popped into my head.
I am not a nail-biter anymore.
And I wasn’t… mostly. Sure, a couple of times I slipped up and caught myself touching my nails on my teeth, but I just didn’t bite my nails anymore, and that was that. This powerful af mindset shift is called Be-Do-Have mentality, and it is a whooooole other post, but I want you to know it exists, and it works. It works SO amazingly well. It states that you have to first “Be” the person who “Has” the result that you’re after. So in order to stop biting my nails, I had to be an ex-nail-biter. As long as my identity was embedded in that of a nail biter, and I was working from that place, no matter what tricks or tips I applied to stop me from my bad habit, nothing worked until I BECAME a non-nail-biter, on an identity level. This is one of the most (the most?) powerful agent of change in your mindset that you can master.
So I’ll leave you with that magic, in order to be productive, healthy, fit, an avid reader, an ex-nail-biter, you have to first BE that thing. Showing up in the identity every day of someone who is the ideal you, will let you have those habits in your life.
Leave a comment or send me a DM on Instagram if this speaks to you, I’m really interested in your experiences with habits and identity. And don’t forget to grab your free Habit Tracker, I made it just for you �
xo
Shell
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