2012-12-12

Two days ago (December 10th) was my twins' first Birthday.

Only one of them was here for us to celebrate with.

Today is the one year anniversary of sweet Kathryn's death.  We had her in our world for 52 hours.

I am struggling greatly to find the balance between gratefulness, happiness, and grief so strong it threatens to destroy everything around me.

But I know Kathryn would want me to choose happiness.  To love her brother and sisters, her father, and to live a full life in her honor and in her memory.

I made this video to honor both of my girls.  And to help me with my grief.

The only thing I know how to do now and for her is to continue to spread awareness, to hope we will one day find a cure, and to fight for the babies in order that they may have a chance.

Dear Kathryn -

Today is your "Angelversary."  I will always cherish those days we spent together, just you, me, and Tiny in the hospital.  I will always appreciate the fact that you stayed around long enough to make sure your teeny little twin was going to make it.  We know you did that for her.

The moments I held you before you left us will for ever be some of the most precious memories in my heart.  You were such a beautiful baby.  I will never forget your perfect little nose, hands, feet.

I can feel you with me.  I can feel your love.  I see you through your sister.

I will always love you and I will always hold you in my heart.

I will always be the mother of four, and I will always be the mother of twins.

Until we meet again,

Love,

Your mommy



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