“The testimonies that people gave, that was what in turn gave me the impetus to keep going; I knew what I was doing was not in vain “
By Sharmain Grainger
A mentor can be easily described as a person who possesses a great deal of experience and knowledge,
Pastor Diego Alphonso is a ‘Special Person’
and is able to impart this into the life of a person who is less experienced or knowledgeable.
It is the view of Pastor Diego Alphonso that everyone, especially young men, should have a mentor. And he understands this all too well, since it was a mentor who helped to positively shape his life. His mentor was one drawn from within the religious community and helped to guide him along life’s journey.
You see Alphonso was brought up in a single-parent household headed by his mother. And according to him, “my pastor was considered my father figure and my role model. Although I didn’t have a father to help with my upbringing he gave me guidance and helped me to rise above the circumstances I faced,” Alphonso reflected.
It might have been this crucial exposure that prepared him to become the mentor he is to so many young men today. In fact, today he not only offers advice and shares life-changing experiences with men in the church setting where he preaches, but he performs this very duty on a national scale through a position he holds within the Ministry of Social Protection.
A SINGLE-PARENT HOUSEHOLD
Born to parents Benedict and Jennifer Alphonso on February 24, 1976, Diego Alphonso grew up in Kitty, Georgetown. He was the younger of two children. But his elder sister, he remembered, was born with a disability, and therefore had to be raised at the Cheshire Home. She eventually passed away.
Alphonso was essentially raised as an only child.
With his wife Sonia on their wedding day.
Although life with his parents was rather ideal, he recalled an occurrence that would forever change life for the small Alphonso family. He disclosed that his father, the main breadwinner of the home, left one day and never came back, leaving his mother to take on the breadwinning role.
“My father passed away under unfortunate and tragic circumstances; he used to work at sea and one day he left and we never saw him again,” related Alphonso. Growing up without a father, he recalled, was not very easy, but his mother worked very hard to help prepare him for the world ahead.
According to Alphonso, his mother was a God-fearing woman from as long as he could remember, and he was taught from an early age to embrace Christianity. He confided that he has never regretted this path, as it essentially helped to make him the person he is today.
FINDING HIS CALLING
Alleyne’s High was the secondary school he attended as a boy. Alphonso noted that while the school he attended may not be deemed one of the most prestigious in the country, it has in fact produced many outstanding people in society. Before secondary, he attended St Sidwell’s Primary.
But according to him, one of the best things that his mother had done for him was to instill in him a desire, a love and passion for reading. He, moreover, spent a great deal of his time reading mystery and detective books.
He became so in tuned with his mystery-solving self that the young Alphonso was
Speaking to a gathering of young men.
convinced he was destined to be a detective. He, moreover, jumped at the advertised opportunity to be a part of an organization named Allied Investigation and Security Services when he completed secondary school. The response he received was certainly not what he’d anticipated, after all this was supposed to be his destined break to become the detective he had long envisaged.
But this was not to be. According to Alphonso, while the organisation did hire him, he was tasked with minute tasks since he was deemed too young for any significant roles.
“I kind of outgrew it after a time,” said a thoughtful Alphonso. But by this time he had become a devout Christian and that eventually took centre stage in his life.
“I gave my heart to the Lord Jesus Christ and I started to realise there was something more I was destined for” Alphonso shared. He was just about 14 years old at the time but, according to him, he had a burning desire to help as many people as possible to understand that they could have a better life.
“I developed this gift to listen and counsel people and I was able to help them see that there is a better way to live,” Alphonso recalled.
He too wanted to learn more and was soon delving into biblical studies. This of course paved the way for him to become a pastor attached to the New Testament Church of God at Pouderoyen, West Bank Demerara.
With this advanced step, an even bigger door opened for him to help even more people.
Paying keen attention to a dramatic piece.
“I have been able to offer solutions to so many people; hope for the hopeless by preaching and teaching the word of God,” Alphonso explained.
DESTINY NEVER DISCRIMINATES
His age was never an issue in realising his religious calling. Before becoming a Senior Pastor, a position he comfortable holds today, Alphonso served as the Youth and Education Director for a number of years at the very church. This of course gave him an opportunity to interact with many youths and even people of other ages who needed to hear something to give them hope. “I somehow developed this grace to interact with all kinds of people – children, youths and adults – and I knew I was in the right place, because I got this sense of satisfaction when persons would come to me and say what something I said meant to them after I would have completed a presentation or sermon.”
“The testimonies that people gave, that was what in turn gave me the impetus to keep going; I knew what I was doing was not in vain “ Alphonso related.
His purpose, he confided, has kept him focused over the years.
DELVING INTO GOVERNMENT WORK
But his focus has not only been in the church environment. And this was facilitated through the formation of a strategic non Governmental organization designed to empower men in society. The organisation was the Men Empowerment Network (MEN) which was formed in the year 2010 and comprised pastors who worked closely with men and boys.
Fun reading with his children.
The group as part of its efforts to fulfill its mandate of reaching out to men, decided to invite the renowned pastor, author and motivational speaker, Myles Munroe, to host an outreach. One of the significant events of that outreach was a men’s rally, which according to Alphonso, saw the mobilization of some 10,000 men from around the country at the National Park. That event held soon after the establishment of MEN, was arguably the largest gathering of men in Guyana and was even graced by the then President.
At that time Guyana was grappling with how to deal with the issue of domestic violence, particularly when it comes to the male gender. There wasn’t much being done for men at the time who suffered from domestic violence or even perpetrated the act for that matter. This was of course in light of the fact, Alphonso noted, that men were often seen only as the perpetrators, and rarely the victims of such violence.
A Women’s Affairs Bureau within the then Ministry of Human Services and Social Security was already well established to help take care of the needs of women in this regard. But it was at this very significant rally, Alphonso recalled, that a suggestion was made for the establishment of a Men’s Affairs Bureau too. The idea was readily accepted and embraced and was almost immediately introduced with the blessings of the President. It was, however, officially launched at a later time.
The Women’s and Men’s Affairs Bureau have since been combined by the current administration to form the Gender Affairs Bureau within the Ministry of Social Protection, catering to the needs of both males and females in society. This, however, is a work in progress.
While Alphonso was not part of the Men’s Affairs Bureau from its inception, in August 2012, the father of three (Gabriella (eight years old), Cassandra (five years old) and Israel (two years old) and husband to Sonia Alphonso, was named its Administrator.
This was in fact a natural move for Alphonso as, according to him, “the work there tied right into what I was already doing in terms of helping hurting people. I saw this as a great opportunity to make a contribution towards the wellbeing of men and boys in Guyana.”
Through the Men’s Affairs Bureau, he has been able to expand his horizon by conducting empowerment sessions across Guyana for men and boys. Sessions have been held in schools, the prison system, the New Opportunity Corps, places of worship (churches, mosques, temples) and even sports clubs. Of course issues such as domestic violence have always been on the front burner, as well as suicide, anger management, conflict resolution, fatherhood, parenting and other issues found to be pertinent to men, Alphonso disclosed.
“Working with men and boys has at times been challenging but very rewarding…because I got an opportunity to help in some way to help improve the lives of some men who have been abused, sometimes physically, mentally, emotionally or psychologically,” Alphonso related. According to him, through the Bureau, men are given an opportunity to express themselves, since there has long been the concern that “men are not allowed to express themselves or be emotional if they have to. So it was a great opportunity to be part of a body that created such a space for our men…we are able to offer them group as well as one on one attention.”
According to Alphonso, collaboration has also been a key aspect of dealing with the issues that affect men. Moreover, the Bureau has over the years reached out to a number of supporting organizations. “If we were dealing with men who are addicts (drugs or alcohol), we have been able to refer them to organizations such as the Salvation Army’s drug rehabilitation centre or Alcoholic Anonymous, depending on the nature of the need…but if it was something we could deal with, we dealt with it,” related Alphonso.
MEN OFTEN SUFFER IN SILENCE
Aside from addiction, he has seen men suffer from a range of issues. He noted that while statistics substantiate that men are the main perpetrators of physical and sexual violence, there are many men who also suffer psychologically and mentally, which cannot be substantiated by statistics.
“There is no way we can keep statistics like that…to follow it up in a real way. We have found that lots of men are hurting internally every day,” Alphonso noted. The off-shoot of this dilemma has in fact served to trigger physical violence perpetrated by these “hurting men” who often claim that they react because they are “provoked or disrespected.”
In fact Alphonso related that a large number of men have shared that they feel disrespected, under-valued and taken for granted. Moreover, he noted, “we have had the task to let men like these know that in as much they may be psychologically, emotionally or verbally abused and provoked, there are other options and alternatives to the physical violence. Even though they are saying that is what is triggering them, we have consistently had to work with them to show them that physical retaliation is not the answer,” Alphonso added.
It was quite easy for Alphonso to identify with a number of the men he has had to counselled over the years, simply because of the fact that the majority of them came from fatherless homes. He claims that he was however fortunate that because of the religious influence in his life, he was able to find a way out of many negative situations. But according to him, he has found that “there is a glaring correlation with the negative issues men deal with and the fact that they did not have a father.”
But while there are some fathers who are physically present, they are so emotionally detached from their sons that the resulting situations in some homes are on par with those that have absentee fathers.
Moreover, Alphonso premises most of his work with men on the notion that “every man needs a man in his life who can be a confidant.” In fact this is the slogan which the Men’s Affairs Bureau has been using for a number of years.
But with the move towards merging the Men’s and Women’s Affairs Bureau, Alphonso is confident that “men will not be taken seriously in isolation. With the Gender Affairs Bureau we will be able to create a level playing field where we can seek after equality for men and women. They will not be taken for granted, because we are balanced in our approaches as we deal with the issues affecting both genders.”
According to Alphonso, ensuring that the concerns of both men and women are not only ventilated but addressed is a very achievable goal, once there is aggressive sensitization and awareness.
“We may be in for the long haul, but we believe that it is possible. We are very optimistic about it and we will continue to work aggressively to ensure that the rights of both men and women are respected,” Alphonso asserted.
Because of his continued effort to reach out to those who may feel that they have no chance at a better life, today Pastor Diego Alphonso is being bestowed with the title of ‘Special Person’.