JFG Nation, I know that many of you, like me, had a high school locker. The question of the day is: what did you hang up in your locker? Did you have posters of Maxim models clad in lingerie? Ripped out pages of your Sports Illustrated, plastering images of Lebron and Peyton Manning everywhere? Or maybe your locker was just littered with the yearbook wallet size photos everyone traded back and forth like baseball cards.
My first locker came in 7th grade. It was a THIN thin locker where there was only enough room to line up maybe three books side by side; any remaining books had to be stacked vertically on top of each other. Great design, everyone. Why is my locker a vertical mail slot? Plus, on top of that, the locking mechanism was basically a jutting knife blade. I STILL have a thin scar on my right hand from one time when I crammed a book into my locker and cut open the top of my hand. GOOD TIMES EVERYONE. Nothing to make fun of here, pre-pubescent teens – ignore the blood spewing from my appendage. Of course, I was less concerned about my actual health than with HOW EMBARRASSING OMG NOOOO the whole thing was. Junior High, folks.
Early on, I remember it being SO IMPORTANT that there were COOL THINGS hanging in my locker. So I put up yearbook photos of any girl that would give me one (not many). I had my favorite Calvin and Hobbes desk calendar pages posted (WITTY CARTOON COMEDIC HUMOR, THAT’S CERTAIN TO MAKE ME POPULAR). And, of course, even though I didn’t play soccer, since soccer was THE sport in my school, I had random cutouts from Eurosport magazine of sneakers and cool jerseys. I needed some air freshener; my locker reeked of desperation.
As I got older, the soccer cutouts got replaced by pages from Time Magazine (ugh, what was I thinking), the Calvin and Hobbes comics were replaced by Far Side comics, and the yearbook photos dwindled to just photos of my girlfriend (YES SHE WAS REAL, JERKS). By the time senior year rolled around, I was so over high school the inside of my locker didn’t have anything. No pictures, no photos, no cartoons, no nothing. I think maybe just my class schedule was taped up? Who knows. The whole old school image of people congregating around open lockers to chat never happened; most people at the end of the day were like, “Why the hell are we still at school? Let’s get the eff outta here.”
So what about YOU, JFG Nation? What did YOU have hanging in your locker? Mirrors? Voodoo Dolls? A lucky picture of Ryan Gosling? (HE’S SO DREAMY). A busty pic of Kate Upton? (WAY TO MAKE EVERYONE UNCOMFORTABLE, PERV). Let me know in the comments below.
MEANWHILE: EPISODE 64 OF THE NOSH SHOW IS HERE!
For you new arrivals, The Nosh Show is a podcast started by Marvo from The Impulsive Buy, featuring Ryan from GrubGrade, Dubba from On Second Scoop, and, of course, me, your friendly neighborhood JFG. Today marks the release of The Nosh Show, Episode 64: Pumpkin Dishwashing Soap.
This week, “we disclose three new M&M’s flavors coming next year. We also chat about the black bun Whopper finally coming to the U.S., a popular Canadian potato chip flavor finally coming to the U.S., a new Ben & Jerry’s flavor coming only to Texas, and much more.” You can listen embedded here:
You can subscribe to The Nosh Show using various services: iTunes, Stitcher, TuneIn, RSS, or, you can also download the episode.
ONWARD: TODAY’S JUNK FOOD(s): Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos!
Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos: The Money Shot
Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos were discussed on the Nosh Show recently, and this is another flavor where, when I heard it, I was like, “Oh….yeah. Why haven’t they made that already?” It’s not like we haven’t eaten coconut before – I enjoy Girl Scout Samoas, and coconut creme pie is one of my favs. Plus, Oreo has ventured SORT OF into this space before – they had Fudge Cremes that were coconut flavored. Of course, those only had coconut-flavored creme, whereas these actually have bits of toasted coconut in them.
Cocout tends to be a pretty polarizing coconut; people either love it or hate it. I rather love coconut. I like coconut milk, I enjoy coconut in candy (GIMME A MOUNDS NOW), and I think actual fresh coconut flesh is good to eat. I’m a fan. I have high hopes for these Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos.
Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos don’t come in a peel back package like most Oreos, which was sort of annoying. HOW WILL I KEEP THESE FRESH, OREO? Anyways, as soon as I opened the package, coconut aroma hit my nostrils. But did it smell like sunblock? I know that’s the question many are thinking; answer: NO.
No, these had an aroma that made me a bit giddy. While the picture on the front of the package is of coconut cake – which I also love – these smelled like another coconut treat which I adore: MACAROONS. No, not the French fluffy wafer cookies with creme inside (much like an Oreo). COCONUT MACAROONS. The little snowballs of coconut and condensed milk and egg white that bake up to soft chewy goodness. Those things – these smelled EXACTLY like them.
When I held one of these Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos up to my nose, I could smell an almost buttery aroma. Taking a bite, my mouth was filled with creamy coconut flavor. I thought the coconut creme paired perfectly with the Golden Oreo – while the aroma was all coconut macaroons, the flavor combo of creme and cookie was indeed like a coconut cake, or one of those coconut donuts you get from Dunkin’.
After a string of crazy fruit-flavored Oreos from last year, I must say, I think Oreo hit another home run with these Limited Edition Toasted Coconut Oreos – the flavor is very simple yet executed very well if you’re a fan of coconut. The bits of toasted coconut added a very nice textural element to the creme; I didn’t feel like I was only eating normal Oreo creme with coconut oil added to it. The creme and cookie very buttery and very sweet, helping to push the coconut flavor into the baked-good-flavor-territory.
I know everyone is quick to rush in and mock Oreo for creating another limited edition flavor, but I would say I’d like to see these stick around for a while. Similar to the Marshmallow Crispy variety, I don;t know why we don’t see MORE Golden Oreos with bits mixed into the creme. DO MORE OF THIS DESIGN, OREO! My request: CARROT CAKE OREO with bits of real carrot cake in the creme. DO IT.
And as for the rest of you – if you like coconut, eat these. DO IT.
PURCHASED AT: Wegmans, Germantown, MD
COST: $3.00 on sale
Thoughts? Please comment below or hit me up on Twitter @junkfoodguy or LIKE my Facebook Page and message me there. I also have Google+!! Let’s hang out.
Sincerely,
Junk Food Guy