Sunday Morning coming down and one stumbles across the floor to fumble in the closet for one’s cleanest dirty blueshirts, not.
Rather does one open one’s mullioned window in one’s monogrammed silk dressing gown for the sure-fire hand delivery of one’s Sindo, thus conveyed by the Yoghurt Currier Service which is a subsidiary of the Straight-talking Crooked-mouthy Media Empah.
One lingers, with finger to mouth, listening to the solemnity of a Sabbath soundaround: the Gregorian chant from the local chapel on the hill.
From the window then to the Smoking Room of Warbeck Towers where one settles down in his Vendome Sofa with the gold patina finish to a weekly guffaw at the latest offerings from the Mutt and Jeff of the comic strips in the Sindo in one hand and a stogie in the other. The comic strips are so called because of the strips these comics take off the peasantry.
First, the Cebrity Jeff :
Language a bigger barrier than baptism
There should be no choice of primary school, argues Sarah Carey. But why do accusations of exclusion only fall on religion?
The Celebrity Jeff (sic) goes on to inform her readership:
-Which brings me to Gaelscoileanna. I’ve nothing against Irish, though I note that one can very easily opt out of religion classes in Catholic schools, but you can’t opt out of Irish in any school without a learning disability.
Whoa there, , whoaaaaaaaaaaaa right there.
-I’ve nothing against Irish.
Eh?
Bear in mind, loyal reader, that this line appears in the Sindo which is the (gasp) Irish (gulp) Independent dressed in its Sunday Best.
Extrapolate (a daaarln’ word, Joxer) from this and then imagine a comic stripper in, say, Central Asia.
Take, f’rinstance the Celebrity Jeff on the Kazakhstan Independent:
-I’ve nothing against Kazakh, though…..
No?
Ok, so, take the Celebrity Jeff on the Kyrgystan Independent.
-I’ve nothing against Krygy, though…..
No?
Ok, so, take the Celebrity Jeff on the Tajikistan Independent.
-I’ve nothing against Tajiki, though…
No?
Ok, so, take the Celebrity Jeff on the Turkmenistan Independent.
-I’ve nothing against Turkmeni, though…
No?
Ok, so, take the Celebrity Jeff on the Uzbekistan Independent.
-I’ve nothing against Uzbeki, though…
Difficult to imagine? Agus gan ach an méid sin a rá !
And rightly so, for, as Borat Segydiyez, (say, yo to Sammy W !) roving reporter with the mobile microphone, for Make Benefit Nation of Kazakhstan, can confirm, if the listed Celebrity Jeffs in Central Asia tried a gag like it would not be long before the whiff of a yakety hack being roasted on the spit would prove to be nostril-invasive, intensively so.
So, how does the informative Sarah Carey (for it is still she!) get to escape this refined form of the culinary art?
Why, in a phrase:
-Welcome to Laurelstan, Joke Capital of the Western World ! Also known as the Bust-Belt on account of its legendary lack of accountability (see under Celtic Tiger which is not at all related to the snaggle-toothed Tigers of Central Asia).
Not only that, but the informative Sarah Carey hails from Royal Meath, the same county which is represented by (gasp) Regina Doherty, MP.
Yes, the same. The one , the only founding member of the Renowned Regina Doherty School of Enhanced Economics.
Not only that but as the Wicked Witch of Wikipedia sees fit to (gulp) inform The Perkin’s inner sneaky fact-checker :
Sarah Carey is an Irish columnist and broadcaster. She writes for “The Sunday Independent“[1] and The Evening Herald and presents Talking Point [2] – a PPI nominated show – on Newstalk and occasionally for TV3. She is a former columnist for The Sunday Times[3] and The Irish Times.[4]
Contents
[hide]
1Education and early work
2Blogging and newspaper columns
3Moriarty Tribunal
1Witness
2Moriarty Tribunal report and aftermath
4References
5External links
Education and early work[edit]
Carey has a degree in History from Trinity College, Dublin, and a post-graduate diploma in Business Studies from the Michael Smurfit Graduate Business School in University College, Dublin (U.C.D.).[5] She has performed freelance PR/marketing work for a number of companies and the political party Fine Gael. She has also worked for Esat Digifone.[5]
Blogging and newspaper columns[edit]
In 2002, she began writing the blog GUBU, “An Irish woman’s social, political and domestic commentary”. Then Sunday Times Irish Editor Fiona McHugh, offered Carey a column after reading the blog. The Sunday Times column ended when she started writing a weekly opinion column for The Irish Times in 2008.[6] The blog also ended in 2008. Carey revealed that in her time at The Sunday Times, opinion columnists had been forbidden from expressing views in favour of the Lisbon Treaty.
Moriarty Tribunal[edit]
Witness[edit]
Because she had worked as Marketing Coordinator for Esat Telecom, she was a witness at the Moriarty Tribunal.[7][8] In 2004, she leaked information provided to her by the tribunal about political donations made by Denis O’Brien to political parties in Ireland. The information included a letter of thanks to O’Brien from Michael McDowell of the Progressive Democrats. These leaks were published by journalist Stephen Collins in The Sunday Tribune. She denied to her legal team that she had been the source of the leak. When told she would be questioned under oath, she admitted she was the source. Carey said “her motives were political” as the Tribunal had only highlighted O’Brien’s donations to Fine Gael, and not those to other parties. The Tribunal judge publicly rebuked her in 2004 for wasting the tribunal’s time in identifying the source of the leak, describing it as “irresponsible” and “not remotely justified”.[9]
Moriarty Tribunal report and aftermath[edit]
When the final Tribunal report was published in March 2011, she appeared on Prime Time, a national TV news analysis show, in which she defended the leak and her support for Mr O’Brien.[10] Days later, she resigned from her job with The Irish Times.[11] In a statement, the editor, Geraldine Kennedy, a former T.D. and Progressive Democrat colleague of Michael McDowell’s, said that “her credibility as a columnist had been damaged by the findings of the report of the Moriarty tribunal and its aftermath.” She continues to write for other newspapers.[12]
So, is the Sarah Eire of comic strippers on the (gasp) verge of, erm, emulating the Regina of Royal Meath by establishing her own Renowned School of Enhanced Jingo-Lingo?
Perkin the Ever Helpful would counsel: beware. For the combination of a Carey-Surname of a Donegal Provenance has not had a happy history, at all, at all, ochone agus ochone o.
Consider the following:
(Please pass the roving mike to the W.W. of Wikipedia once again)
Phoenix Park Killings[edit]
Main article: Phoenix Park Killings
After numerous attempts to kill then Chief Secretary “Buckshot Forster”, he resigned in protest of the Kilmainham Treaty.[3] The group settled on a plan to kill the Permanent Under Secretary Thomas Henry Burke at the Irish Office. Newly installed Chief Secretary for Ireland Lord Frederick Cavendish, on the very day of his arrival to Ireland, was walking with Burke when the assassins struck, in Phoenix Park, in Dublin, at 17:30 Saturday, 6 May 1882, in what were to become known as the Phoenix Park Murders.
Grave of James Fitzharris (Skin the Goat)
The first assassination in the park was committed by Joe Brady, who knifed Burke with a 12 inch knife, followed in short order by Tim Kelly, who knifed Cavendish. Both men used surgical knives. The British press expressed the outrage felt by many and demanded that the “Phoenix Park Murderers” be brought to justice.
A large number of suspects were arrested. By playing off one suspect against another, Superintendent Mallon of “G” Division of the Dublin Metropolitan Police got several of them to reveal what they knew.[4] The Invincibles’ leader, James Carey, and Michael Kavanagh agreed to testify against the others. Joe Brady, Michael Fagan, Thomas Caffrey, Dan Curley and Tim Kelly were hanged by William Marwood in Kilmainham Gaol in Dublin between 14 May and 4 June 1883. Others were sentenced to serve long prison terms.
No member of the founding executive, however, was ever brought to trial by the British government. John Walsh, Patrick Egan, John Sheridan, Frank Byrne, and Patrick Tynan were welcomed in America, where sentiment toward the murders was less severe, although not celebratory.
Aftermath[edit]
Carey was shot dead on board the Melrose Castle off Cape Town, South Africa, on 29 July 1883, by Donegal man Patrick O’Donnell, for giving evidence against his former comrades. O’Donnell was apprehended and escorted back to London, where he was convicted of murder at the Old Bailey and hanged on 17 December 1883.[5]
In literature and song[edit]
In Episode Seven of James Joyce‘s Ulysses, Stephen Dedalus and other characters discuss the assassinations in the offices of the Freeman newspaper. In Episode Sixteen Bloom and Dedalus stop in a cabman’s shelter run by a man they believe to be James ‘Skin-the-Goat’ Fitzharris.
The Invincibles and Carey are mentioned in the folk song “Monto (Take Her Up To Monto)“:
When Carey told on Skin-the-goat,
O’Donnell caught him on the boat
He wished he’d never been afloat, the filthy skite.
Twasn’t very sensible
To tell on the Invincibles
They stood up for their principles, day and night by going up to Monto Monto……”
To conclude: time, alas, does not permit space for the latest from the other comic stripper of the Cleanest Dirty Blueshirt School of Thigh-Slap in the Sindo: Celebrity Mutt.
One however hopes to return, a la Dubhghlas Mac Airt., to the second half of this double up act, le cúnamh DOB.
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