Satisfaction of one’s curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life. – Linus Pauling
TODAY – SEPTEMBER 30th – SUNDAY
274th day of 2016 with 92 days to follow. New moon with 1% visible.
Holidays for Today:
~ National Mud Pack Day
~ National Hot Mulled Cider Day
~ Recovery Day (Canada)
~ International Translation Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1861 William Wrigley, Jr., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, industrialist (Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company)
1882 Hans Geiger, German physicist (Geiger counter, Geiger-Marsden experiment, Atomic nucleus)
1912 Kenny Baker, Monrovia, California, singer and actor (featured singer on Jack Benny’s radio/ R2D2 – Star Wars)
1924 Truman Capote, New Orleans, Louisiana, author (Breakfast at Tiffany’s, In Cold Blood)
1928 Elie Wiesel, Romanian Holocaust survivor and author (Souls on Fire, Night / Nobel 1986)
1933 Cissy Houston, Newark, New Jersey, gospel/r&b singer (Think It Over)
1935 Johnny Mathis, San Francisco, California, singer (Chances Are, 12th of Never)
1943 Marilyn McCoo, Jersey City, New Jersey, singer (The 5th Dimension)
1954 Barry Williams, Santa Monica, California, actor (Greg on The Brady Bunch)
1957 Fran Drescher, Queens, New York, actress (Cadillac Man, Nanny, Hotel Transylvania, Happily Divorced)
1961 Eric Stoltz, Whittier, California, actor (Anaconda, Pulp Fiction, Mask, The Waterdance, Caprica)
1970 Tony Hale, West Point, New York, actor (Arrested Development, Veep, Sanjay and Craig)
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Just the knowledge that a good book is awaiting one at the end of a long day makes that day happier. – Kathleen Norris
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1841 Samuel Slocum patented the stapler.
1880 Henry Draper took the first photograph of the Orion Nebula.
1882 The world’s first commercial hydroelectric power plant (later known as Appleton Edison Light Company) begins operation on the Fox River in Appleton, Wisconsin.
1901 Hubert Cecil Booth patents the vacuum cleaner.
1927 Babe Ruth becomes the first baseball player to hit 60 home runs in a season.
1935 The Hoover Dam, astride the border between the U.S. states of Arizona and Nevada, is dedicated.
1947 The World Series, featuring the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers, is televised for the first time.
1954 The U.S. Navy submarine USS Nautilus is commissioned as the world’s first nuclear reactor powered vessel.
1960 The Flintstones premieres (1st prime time animation show).
1962 James Meredith enters the University of Mississippi, defying segregation.
1968 First Boeing 747 rolled out and put on public display.
2004 The first images of a live giant squid in its natural habitat are taken 600 miles south of Tokyo.
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The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room.
“What’s wrong Tracey ?” she asked.
Tracey told her that she had “morning sickness”. Surprised the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant.”
“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just sick of mornings.”
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Man: Hello. My wife has just died. Can you come to pick up the body?
Mortuary: Yes. Where do you live?
Man: On the corner of 37th and Eucalyptus.
Mortuary: Could you spell that please?
Man: Uhhhhh. How ’bout if I drag her over to Oak and you can pick her up there?
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ONE-LINERS:SIX TRUTHS
1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, due to the tendons within your neck.
2. All boneheads, after reading #1 will try it…
3. …and discover that #1 is a lie.
4. You are smiling now because you realize you are an bonehead.
5. You soon will share this with another bonehead.
6. There is still a stupid smile on your face! I sincerely apologize about this, but I’m an bonehead and I needed company.
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New Haircut
Women’s version:
Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!
Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?
Woman2: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman1: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman2: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman1: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
Men’s version:
Man1: Haircut?
Man2: Yeah.
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pic of the day: Midnight Moon behind clouds ...
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.
The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks him, “Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?”
The farmer replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”
“How?” asks the man, puzzled. “Well, I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”
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“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth to his son, one-sixth to his
butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”
The classroom fell silent for a moment, and then an earnest young voice piped up: “A lawyer!”
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Every now and again one of our local restaurants will sponsor a classic car show, and auto enthusiasts from all over the region will roll up in their vintage vehicles.
Once, while strolling through the lot, admiring the trip down memory lane, I overheard two owners talking.
One explained that he had some friends who put together a car using wheels from a Cadillac, the engine from a Ford, the chassis of a Chevy, and the body of an old Plymouth.
“Wow,” the other guy exclaimed. “What did they call it?”
The first guy laughs and replies, “Grand Theft Auto. They got two years!”
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LATE NIGHT QUIPS. . .
* A man in Florida is in jail after he was spotted riding a manatee and dared cops to arrest him. Maybe it’s just me, but if you dare cops to arrest you, try to be on a faster animal than a manatee. – Jimmy Fallon
* Scientists now say life on Earth may have started after an accidental mashup between DNA and RNA. When asked for comment, Larry King said, “That was one crazy weekend, man.” – Conan O’Brien
* The debate was moderated by NBC’s Lester Holt, which makes sense since he hosted “Dateline” and is used to two rich white people who want to murder each other. – Stephen Colbert
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A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat.
“The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.”
The boy looked at her quizzically, “Why does it have to be a secret?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: When is Boxing Day? In Britain, Boxing Day is usually celebrated on the following day after Christmas Day, which is December 26th. However, strictly speaking, Boxing Day is the first weekday after Christmas. It’s customary for householders to give small gifts or monetary tips to regular visiting trades people (the milkman, dustman, coalman, paper boy etc.) and, in some work places, for employers to give a Christmas bonus to employees. Schools across the country gather together gifts to be put in Christmas Boxes that are sent to poorer countries.
~Is Brazil the land of big critters? Brazil is a land with a lot of big creatures — it is home to the world’s largest snake (the anaconda, measuring up to 35 feet in length), largest spider, largest rodent (the capybara, a sort of guinea pig the size of a police dog), and the world’s largest ant.
~What did the Vikings consider the Northern lights? The Vikings believed that the Northern lights which are seen from time to time in the north sky were caused by the flashing armor and spears of Odin’s handmaidens as they rode out to collect warriors slain in battle.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: If some people said what they thought, they’d be speechless.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope. – Maya Angelou