What you do today can improve all your tomorrows. – Ralph Marston
TODAY – OCTOBER 13th – TUESDAY
286th day of 2015 with 79 days to follow. The moon is waning. Morning stars are Jupiter and Venus. Evening stars are Mars, Mercury, Neptune, Saturn and Uranus.
Holidays for Today:
*International Day for Natural Disaster Reduction
*International Skeptics Day
*National M&M Day
*National Peanut Festival
*National Pumpkin Festival
*National Yorkshire Pudding Day
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1821 Rudolf Virchow, German physician, pathologist, biologist, and politician (Cellular pathology biogenesis (the father of modern pathology))
1890 Conrad Richter, Pottsville, Pennsylvania, author (The Sea of Grass, The Town, The Waters of Kronos)
1925 Margaret Thatcher, English politician, (Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1979 – 1990)
1932 Jack Colvin, Lyndon, Kansas, actor (Jack McGee in The Incredible Hulk (1977-1982); Dr. Ardmore in Child’s Play)
1939 Melinda Dillon, Hope, Arkansas, actress (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Absence of Malice, A Christmas Story, Harry and the Hendersons, Magnolia)
1941 Paul Simon, Newark, New Jersey , singer and musician (Simon & Garfunkel)
1946 Demond Wilson, Valdosta, Georgia, pastor and actor (Sanford & Son, The New Odd Couple)
1950 Mollie Katzen, Rochester, New York, chef and author (Moosewood Cookbook, The Enchanted Broccoli Forest)
1952 John Lone, Hong Kong-American actor (The Last Emperor, The Shadow, Rush Hour 2, War)
1959 Marie Osmond, Ogden, Utah, entertainer (Marie Osmond Show; Donny & Marie Show; Dancing W/the Stars Season 5)
1962 Kelly Preston, Honolulu, Hawaii, actress (Mischief, Space Camp, Twins, Waiting to Exhale, Jerry Maguire, Battlefield Earth, Sky High, Old Dogs, Gotti:In the Shadow of My Father)
1962 Jerry Rice, Starkville, Mississippi, football star (wide receiver, 3 Superbowl rings, Dancing w/the Stars Season 2)
1964 Allen Covert, West Palm Beach, Florida, actor (Strange Wilderness, Bedtime Stories, Paul Blart Mall Cop )
1964 Christopher Judge, Los Angeles, actor (Teal’c in Stargate SG-1; He-Man, Magneto in X-Men Evolution, Sharknado 3)
1967 Kate Walsh, San Jose, California, actress (Grey’s Anatomy, Private Practice, Under the Tuscan Sun, Legion, Bad Judge)
1968 Carlos Marín, Spanish singer (baritone in quartet Il Divo)
1969 Nancy Kerrigan, Woburn, Massachusetts, figure skater (1993 US National Champion, 1994 Olympic silver medalist)
1977 Kiele Sanchez, Chicago, Illinois, actress (Married to the Kellys, Related, Lost, The Glades, 30 Days of Night, The Purge: Anarchy, Kingdom)
1992 Aaron Dismuke, Tarrant County, Texas, voice actor (Alphonse Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist, Funimation)
Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough. – Og Mandino
54 Nero ascends to the Roman throne.
1775 United States Continental Congress orders the establishment of the Continental Navy (later renamed the United States Navy).
1792 In Washington, D.C., the cornerstone of the United States Executive Mansion (known as the White Housesince 1818) is laid.
1845 A majority of voters in the Republic of Texas approve a proposed constitution, that if accepted by the U.S. Congress, will make Texas a U.S. state.
1884 Greenwich is established as universal time meridian of longitude.
1885 The Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech) is founded in Atlanta, Georgia.
1967 The first game in the history of the American Basketball Association is played as the Anaheim Amigos lose to the Oakland Oaks 134-129 in Oakland, California.
1970 Fiji joins the United Nations.
1976 The first electron micrograph of an Ebola viral particle was obtained by Dr. F.A. Murphy, now at U.C. Davis, who was then working at the C.D.C.
1977 Four Palestinians hijack Lufthansa Flight 181 to Somalia and demand release of 11 members of the Red Army Faction.
1983 Ameritech Mobile Communications (now AT&T) launched the first US cellular network in Chicago, Illinois.
2010 Copiapó mining accident in Chile comes to an end as all 33 miners arrive at the surface after surviving a record 69 days underground awaiting rescue.
Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School
Rule #1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses
the phrase “it’s not fair” 8.6 times a day. You got it from your
parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most
idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their
own kids, they realized Rule #1.
Rule #2. The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as
your school does. It’ll expect you to accomplish something before you
feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when
inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it’s not fair.
(See Rule No. 1)
Rule #3. Sorry, you won’t make $50,000 a year right out of high
school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a built-in car phone either.
You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a Gap label.
Rule #4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait ’til you get a
boss. He doesn’t have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When
you screw up, he is not going ask you how feel about it.
Rule #5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it
opportunity. They weren’t embarrassed making minimum wage either.
They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt
Cobain all weekend.
Rule #6. It’s not your parents’ fault. If you screw up, you are
responsible. This is the flip side of “It’s my life,” and “You’re not
the boss of me,” and other eloquent proclamations of your generation.
When you turn 18, it’s on your dime. Don’t whine about it or you’ll
sound like a baby boomer.
Rule #7. Before you were born your parents weren’t as boring as they
are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room
and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the
way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites
of your parents’ generation try delousing the closet in your bedroom.
Rule #8. Life is not divided into semesters, and you don’t get
summers off. Nor even Easter break. They expect you to show up every
day. For eight hours. And you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks. It
just goes on and on.
Rule #9. Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your
problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for
commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee
shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be perky or as polite as
Rule #10. Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.
Rule #11. Enjoy this while you can. Sure, parents are a pain,
school’s a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you’ll realize
how wonderful it was to be kid. Maybe you should start now.
There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish
who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person
confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen”.
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
priest died at a ripe old age.
About a week after the new priest arrived. He visited the mayor of
the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in
town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger
at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, your
wife fell three times this week.”
ONE-LINERS: It Doesn’t Surprise Me That There is a…
– Rudeville, New Jersey
– Boring, Oregon
– Hell, Michigan
– Hooker, California
– Virgin, Utah
– Dulls Corner, Maryland
– Bowlegs, Oklahoma
– Volcano, Hawaii
– Beersville, Pennsylvania
– Fleatown, Ohio
– Burnt Corn, Alabama
– Two Guns, Arizona
– Toad Suck, Arkansas
It’s A Monk’s Life
In an ancient monastery, a new monk arrived to dedicate his life to
God and to join the others copying ancient records. The first thing
he noticed was that they were copying by hand books that had already
been copied by hand.
He had to speak up. “Forgive me, Father Justinian, but copying other
copies by hand allows many chances for error. How do we know we
aren’t copying someone else’s mistakes? Are they ever checked against
Father Justinian was startled. No one had ever suggested that before.
“Well, that is a good point, my son. I will take one of these latest
books down to the vault and study it against its original document.”
He went deep into the vault where no one else was allowed to enter
and started to study. The day passed, and it was getting late in the evening.
The monks were getting worried about Father Justinian. Finally one
monk started making his way through the old vault, and as he began to
think he might get lost, he heard sobbing. “Father Justinian,” he called.
The sobbing grew louder as he came closer. He finally found the old
priest sitting at a table with the new copy and the original ancient
book in front of him. It was obvious that Father Justinian had been
crying for a long time.
“Oh, oh, oh!” sobbed Father Justinian, “the word is ‘celebrate’!”
pic of the day: Orange & Yellow Fall Leaves
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~A vulture boards a plane, carrying two dead possums. The attendant looks at him and says, “I’m sorry, sir, only one carry on allowed per passenger.”
~Santa’s helpers are known as subordinate Clauses.
~She had a photographic memory but never developed it.
~The two pianists had a good marriage. They always were in a chord.
~I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.
~I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
My wife never quite got the hang of the 24-hour military clock. One
day she called the orderly room to speak with me. The person who
answered told her to call me at the extension in the band rehearsal hall.
“He can be reached at 4700, Ma’am,” the soldier advised.
With a sigh of exasperation, my wife responded, “And just what time is that?”
The traveling salesman was a frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.
He walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.
“I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like this?”,he asked.
“Actually”, the man replied, “I was wondering who did this to my luggage.”
The doorbell rang and the lady of the house found, quite unexpectedly, a well-dressed man with a small box of smaller tools standing on her porch.
“Good day to you, madam. I am Lucius, the piano tuner,” the man announced.
The lady, quite taken aback, replied, “That is certainly all well and good, young man, but I did not send for a piano tuner.”
“Yes, madam, I know,” said the man. “Your neighbors did.”
QUIP OF THE DAY: “I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Less is only more where more is no good. – Frank Lloyd Wright