A thankful heart enjoys blesslings twice – when they’re received and when they’re remembered.
TODAY – NOVEMBER 9th – MONDAY
313th day of 2015 with 52 days to follow. The moon is waxing crescent with 5% visible.
Holidays for Today:
*Chaos Never Dies Day
*World Freedom Day (commemorates fall of Berlin Wall)
*National Scrapple Day
*Native American Heritage Month
*National Georgia Pecan Month
*National Novel Writing Month
*National Sleep Comfort Month
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1897 Ronald George Wreyford Norrish, British chemist (Norrish reaction)
1898 Leonard Carmichael, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, psychologist and educator (first scientist to study and catalog the earliest development of children)
1906 Arthur Rudolph, German / American rocket engineer (key role in development of V-2 rocket / pioneer of U.S. Space program)
1913 Hedy Lamarr, Vienna, Austria, actress and inventor (known for her great beauty, but also co-invented the first form of spread spectrum, a key to modern wireless communication. Beauty & Brains!)
1928 Anne Sexton, Newton, Massachusetts, poet (To Bedlam and Part Way Back, Live or Die, The Starry Night)
1934 Carl Sagan, New York City, New York, astronomer/author/professor (Cosmos, Broca’s Brain)
1936 Mary Travers, Louisville, Kentucky, singer and songwriter (Peter, Paul and Mary)
1941 Tom Fogerty, Berkeley, California, musician (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
1942 Tom Weiskopf, Massillon, Ohio, golfer (won 16 PGA Tour titles 1968-1982), golf course architect, and sportscaster (CBS, ABC, ESPN)
1947 Robert David Hall, East Orange, New Jersey, actor (Starship Troopers, Dr. Al Robbins / CSI: Crime Scene Investigation)
1951 Lou Ferrigno, Brooklyn, New York, bodybuilder and star of The Incredible Hulk
1964 Robert Duncan McNeill, Raleigh, North Carolina, actor / director (Tom Paris in Star Trek: Voyager )
1969 Allison Wolfe, Memphis, Tennessee, musician (Bratmobile, Cold Cold Hearts, Partyline)
1972 Eric Dane, San Francisco, California, actor (Dr. Mark Sloane – Grey’s Anatomy; X-Men the Last Stand)
1981 Scottie Thompson, Richmond, Virginia, actress (Brotherhood, Trauma, Lookalike, The Blacklist, NCIS, The Leisure Class)
1988 Nikki Blonsky, Great Neck, New York, actress (Hairspray, Queen Sized, Valemont, Huge)
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Children have more need of models than of critics. – Carolyn Coats
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1857 The Atlantic founded in Boston.
1861 The first documented football match in Canada is played at University College, University of Toronto.
1862 American Civil War: Union General Ambrose Burnside assumes command of the Army of the Potomac, after George B. McClellan is removed.
1867 Tokugawa Shogunate hands power back to the Emperor of Japan, starting the Meiji Restoration.
1906 Theodore Roosevelt is the first sitting President of the United States to make an official trip outside the country (to inspect progress on the Panama Canal).
1921 Albert Einstein is awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics for his work with the photoelectric effect.
1935 The Congress of Industrial Organizations is founded in Atlantic City, New Jersey by eight trade unions belonging to the American Federation of Labor.
1960 Robert McNamara is named president of Ford Motor Co., the first non-Ford to serve in that post. A month later, he quit to join the newly-elected John F. Kennedy administration.
1965 Several U.S. states and parts of Canada are hit by a series of blackouts lasting up to 13 hours in the Northeast Blackout of 1965.
1967 Apollo program: NASA launches the unmanned Apollo 4 test spacecraft atop the first Saturn V rocket from Cape Kennedy, Florida.
1967 First issue of Rolling Stone Magazine is published.
1989 Fall of the Berlin Wall. Communist-controlled East Germany opens checkpoints in the Berlin Wall allowing its citizens to freely travel to West Germany. People start demolishing the Berlin Wall.
1993 Stari most, the “old bridge” in Bosnian Mostar built in 1566, collapses after several days of bombing.
1994 The chemical element Darmstadtium is discovered.
1998 Brokerage houses are ordered to pay 1.03 billion USD to cheated NASDAQ investors to compensate for their price-fixing. This is the largest civil settlement in United States history.
1998 Capital punishment in the United Kingdom, already abolished for murder, is completely abolished for all remaining capital offences.
2005 The Venus Express mission of the European Space Agency is launched from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan.
2005 Suicide bombers attacked three hotels in Amman, Jordan, killing at least 60 people.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
I sold an item through eBay but it got lost in the mail. So I stopped by my local post office and asked them to track it down.
“It’s not that simple,” the clerk scolded. “You have to fill out a mail-loss form before we can initiate a search.”
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll take one.”
He rummaged under his counter, then went to ask some other clerks, who did the same — only to return and confess, “You’ll have to come back later. We can’t find the forms.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
ONE-LINERS: Men are like…
….Placemats – They only show up when there’s food on the table.
…..Mascara – They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
…Horoscopes – They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
…Lava lamps – Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
…Copiers – You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
…..Lava Lamps – Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
…..Bank accounts – Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
….High heels – They are easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
…Noodles – They’re always in hot water, they lack taste and they need dough.
…Plungers – They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
…Blenders – You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
…Coolers – Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
…Government bonds – They take so long to mature.
…Used Cars – Both are easy-to-get, cheap and they prove to be unreliable.
…Weather – Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
My friend hates to exercise, which means the treadmill in her bedroom barely gets used. Nevertheless, she swears by it.
“It really works,” she told me. “I throw my jeans over it and they get smaller.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
A tourist is traveling with a guide through one of the thickest jungles in Latin America, when he comes across an ancient Mayan temple. The tourist is entranced by the temple, and asks the guide for details. To this, the guide states that archaeologists are carrying out excavations, and still finding great treasures. The tourist then queries how old the temple is.
“This temple is 2503 years old”, replies the guide.
Impressed at this accurate dating, he inquires as to how he gave this precise figure.
“Easy”, replies the guide, “the archaeologists said the temple was 2500 years old, and that was three years ago.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
pic of the day: Rolls of Harvested Cotton
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
A farmer was having trouble because his horse had an unusually long mane, and birds had begun nesting in it and as a result the horse was getting skittish.
The farmer complained about it at the general store. “Shucks,” said a friend, “I can tell you how to stop that. Just sprinkle baker’s yeast in her mane every night for a week.”
So the farmer did, and sure enough the birds quit bothering the horse.
MORAL: Yeast is yeast, and nest is nest, and never the mane shall tweet.
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
This is the city, Los Angeles California. I was working the day watch out of Bunco. It’s Tuesday, three in the afternoon. The LAPD has picked up a con artist on a section 872, the old Fountain of Youth scam. The guy is selling bottles filled with a liquid that he claims slows the aging process.
I tell my partner, “Frank, check his record. My gut tells me that our boy has played this game before.”
“You’re right, Joe. he’s got priors. He was busted for the same thing in 1815, 1887, 1921 …”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
“You know, it’s at times like these when I’m trapped in an airlock with an alien and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young!”
“Why, what did she tell you?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t listen!”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
LATE NIGHT QUIPS. . .
* In Ohio, people voted on a referendum which would have had to legalize marijuana in that state, but it did not pass. That’s right, it remains illegal to get high in Ohio, which means there is still no legal way to enjoy a Cleveland Browns game. People are saying the initiative did not pass because it would have allowed giant corporations to control the marijuana industry. Which is a huge bummer, because I was really excited to buy pot from a place called Starblunts. – James Corden
* A woman in California posted a picture that went viral this weekend showing her engagement ring which her fiancée made using a tooth instead of a diamond. Even worse, that is his three month’s salary. – Seth Meyers
* Jeb! Just released a brand new e-book entitled “Reply all.” It’s a great way to show you’re done making mistakes by naming a book after something people do by accident. Jeb Bush clearly needs some help because it feels like his campaign is sleepwalking. Which, admittedly, is a strategy that’s working for Ben Carson. – Stephen Colbert
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
A young man I had a crush on returned home from a long overseas tour of duty in the Army.
As we talked, he told me with great sincerity how glad he was to be back.
My heart flew, and I asked him what he had missed most.
He looked into my eyes and replied, “Wheel of Fortune.”
~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
QUIP OF THE DAY: You can’t make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious. – Ron Burns
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . .For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
Audrey Hepburn