Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never. – Winston Churchill
TODAY – JULY 7th – THURSDAY
189th day of 2016 with 177 days to follow. Moon is waxing with 11% visible.
Holidays for Today:
*Macaroni Day
*National Strawberry Sundae Day
*World Chocolate Day
*National Cell Phone Courtesy Month
*National Picnic Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1752 Joseph-Marie Jacquard, France, merchant (invented programmable loom)
1843 Camillo Golgi, Italy, physician, cytologist (Nobel / staining nerve cells – Golgi’s stain)
1861 Nettie Maria Stevens, Cavendish, Vermont, cell biologist and geneticist (one of 1st scientists to find sex is determined by presence or absence of X chromosome)
1880 Otto Frederick Rohwedder, Des Moines, Iowa, engineer (invented automatic bread-slicing machine)
1906 Satchel Paige, Mobile, Alabama, right-handed pitcher & oldest rookie to play major league baseball (Baseball Hall of Fame 1971)
1907 Robert A Heinlein, Butler, Missouri, sci-fi author (The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Red Planet, Stranger in a Strange Land, Starship Troopers)
1915 Margaret Walker, Birmingham, Alabama, author and poet (Jubilee, For My People)
1919 Jon Pertwee, British actor (3rd incarnation of Dr. Who)
1927 Carl (Doc) Severinson, composer/bandleader/trumpeter (Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson)
1931 David Eddings, Spokane, Washington, author (The Belgariad, The Elenium, The Dreamers)
1940 Ringo Starr, Beatles’ drummer/actor (The Magic Christian, Blindman, Son of Dracula, Caveman)
1941 Nancy Farmer, Phoenix, Arizona, author (The Sea of Trolls trilogy, A Girl Named Disaster, The Land of Silver Apples)
1944 Ian Wilmut, English embryologist (Supervised team that produced 1st mammal cloned from cell of an adult, Dolly the sheep)
1946 Joe Spano, San Francisco, California, actor (Hill Street Blues, FBI Special Agent Tobias Fornell on NCIS)
1949 Shelley Duvall, Houston, Texas, actress (Popeye, Rocketman, The Shining, Casper Meets Wendy)
1960 Kevin A. Ford, Portland, Indiana, colonel and astronaut [STS-128, Soyuz TMA-06M (Expedition 33/34)]
1961 Eric Jerome Dickey, Memphis, Tennessee, author (Gideon series, Liars Game, Thieves’ Paradise, Decadence)
1966 Jim Gaffigan, Elgin, Illinois comedian, actor (Mr. Universe, JG: Obsessed, The Jim Gaffigan Show), and author (Dad is Fat, Food: A Love Story)
1968 Jeff VanderMeer, Bellefonte, Pennsylvania, author (City of Saints and Madmen, Shriek: An Afterword, Predator: South China Seas, Southern Reach Trilogy)
1968 Jorja Fox, NYC, actress (ER, CSI, Unity)
1970 Robia LaMorte, Queens, New York, dancer and actress (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Fox Hunt, Chicks Man)
1971 Christian Camargo, New York City, NY, actor (Dexter, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Haven, House of Cards, Penny Dreadful)
1972 Kirsten Vangsness, Pasadena, California, actress (Criminal Minds, Kill Me Deadly, Vampire Mob)
1980 Michelle Kwan, Torrance, California, figure skater (Championships: 5 World, 9 U.S.; Olympics: 1998 silver, 2002 Bronze)
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Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t get any seeds. – Norman Vincent Peale
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1846 US begins annexation of California.
1863 1st military draft by US (exemptions cost $100).
1898 US annexes Hawaii.
1930 Construction begins on Boulder (Hoover) Dam.
1941 US forces land in Iceland to forestall Nazi invasion.
1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini canonized as 1st American saint.
1947 Downed UFO believed to be found in the Roswell UFO incident.
1958 President Eisenhower signs Alaska statehood bill.
1978 Solomon Islands gains independence from Britain (National Day).
1981 President Ronald Reagan appoints Sandra Day O’Connor to become the first female member of the Supreme Court of the United States.
1985 Boris Becker becomes the youngest player ever to win Wimbledon at age 17.
2003 NASA Opportunity rover, MER-B or Mars Exploration Rover – B, was launched into space aboard a Delta II rocket.
2007 First Live Earth benefit concert (Concerts for a Climate in Crisis) was held in 11 locations around the world.
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The classified ad said, “Wanted: a very experienced lumberjack”. A man answered the ad and was asked to describe his experience.
“I’ve worked at the Sahara Forest.”
“You mean the Sahara Desert,” said the interviewer.
The man laughed and answered, “Oh sure, that’s what they call it now!”
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AFTER TWO WEEKS of Air Force basic training, I called home. “You wouldn’t believe how strict they are,” I complained. “They even give demerits for things like not hanging your towel straight or not tightening the cap of your toothpaste properly.”
“Well, dear,” my mom responded, “don’t think of it as basic training. Think of it as Mother’s revenge.” –Contributed to “Humor In Uniform” by Sgt. Brett R. Mathews
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A man and his wife were lying in bed the other night when he noticed she had bought a new book entitled, “What 20 Million American Women Want.”
He grabbed the book out of her hands and started thumbing through the pages.
His wife was a little annoyed. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”
He calmly replied, “I just wanted to see if they spelled my name right.”
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ONE-LINERS:
~I might be in the basement. I’ll go upstairs and check.
~The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures.
~There are no personal problems which cannot be solved through suitable application of high explosives.
~Just because you’re smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
~You may be recognized soon. Hide.
~You don’t need to wear spurs on both boots…If one side of a horse starts to run, so will the other.
~If people around you are starting to sound reasonable, it may be time to increase your medication.
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One lazy Saturday morning the wife and I were quiet and thoughtful, sitting around the breakfast table when I said to her unexpectedly, “When I die, I want you to sell all my stuff, immediately.”
“Now why would you want me to do something like that?” she asked.
“I figure a woman as fine as yourself would eventually remarry and I don’t want some other jerk using my stuff.”
She looked at me intently and said: “What makes you think I’d marry another jerk?”
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pic of the day:
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Child: “Daddy, how was I born?”
Dad answered: “Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said —–
You’ve Got Male!
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A Sunday school teacher asked her class of 5 and 6 year old students the following questions: “lf I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would l get in to heaven? ”
All the children answered, “NO!”
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get in to heaven?”
Again their response was ”NO!”
She then continued, then how can l get to heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted, “I know, I know. You gotta be dead!”
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The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.”
One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said, “I’m not free. I’m four.”
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LATE NIGHT QUIPS. . .
* A newly released email reveals that Hillary Clinton said to a co-worker, “I heard on the radio there’s a cabinet meeting. Can I go?” In another email she said she found out about the debt ceiling from Smooth Jazz 94.7. – Conan O’Brien
* It’s hard to believe it was legal to get gay married in Alabama before it was legal to smoke a joint in Oregon, isn’t it? – Jimmy Kimmel
* So many people have jumped the White House fence recently that the Secret Service is putting metal spikes on it. This is the latest in security technology — from 1325. It’s impenetrable, unless you use a ladder. We’re now protecting the president’s life the same way we keep pigeons from sitting on ATMs. – Jimmy Kimmel
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Interviewer: “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
Airhead applicant: “The living one.”
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One day at a trial, an eminent psychologist was called to testify. A severe no nonsense professional, she sat down in the witness chair unaware that it’s rear legs were set precariously on the back of the raised platform.
“Will you state your name?” asked the district attorney.
Tilting back in her chair, she opened her mouth to answer, but instead catapulted head-over-heels backward and landed in a stack of exhibits and recording equipment.
Everyone watched in stunned silence as she extricated herself, rearranged her disheveled dress and hair and was reseated on the witness stand. The glare she directed at onlookers dared anyone to so much as smirk.
“Well, doctor,” continued the district attorney without changing expression, “we could start with an easier question.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: Do geese make good parents? A rarity in birds, geese are among the very few in which the family stays together at the end of the breeding season. Parents and the young raised during the summer establish strong family bonds and do not break up for about a year. In the fall, geese migrate in flocks that contain other family units, and each family stays together on the wintering grounds.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. – W. C. Fields
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Write in your heart that every day Is the best day of the year. – Ralph Waldo Emerson