“Faith is taking the first step, even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
TODAY – JULY 7th – TUESDAY
188th day of 2015 with 177 to follow. The moon is waning. Morning stars are Mars, Mercury, Neptune and Uranus. Evening stars are Jupiter, Saturn and Venus.
Holidays for Today:
*Macaroni Day
*National Strawberry Sundae Day
*Chocolate Day
*National Bittersweet Chocolate with Almonds Day
*National Cell Phone Courtesy Month
*National Ice Cream Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1752 Joseph-Marie Jacquard, France, merchant (invented programmable loom)
1843 Camillo Golgi, Italy, physician, cytologist (Nobel / staining nerve cells – Golgi’s stain)
1861 Nettie Maria Stevens, Cavendish, Vermont, cell biologist and geneticist (one of 1st scientist to find sex is determined by presence or absence of X chromosome)
1880 Otto Frederick Rohwedder, Des Moines, Iowa, engineer (invented automatic bread-slicing machine)
1906 Satchel Paige, Mobile, Alabama, right-handed pitcher & oldest rookie to play major league baseball (Baseball Hall of Fame 1971)
1907 Robert A Heinlein, Butler, Missouri, sci-fi author (The Moon is a Harsh Mistress, Red Planet, Stranger in a Strange Land, Starship Troopers)
1915 Margaret Walker, Birmingham, Alabama, author and poet (Jubilee, For My People)
1919 Jon Pertwee, British actor (3rd incarnation of Dr. Who)
1927 Carl (Doc) Severinson, composer/bandleader/trumpeter (Tonight Show w/Johnny Carson)
1931 David Eddings, Spokane, Washington, author (The Belgariad, The Elenium, The Dreamers)
1940 Ringo Starr, Beatles’ drummer/actor (The Magic Christian, Blindman, Son of Dracula, Caveman)
1941 Nancy Farmer, Phoenix, Arizona, author (The Sea of Trolls trilogy, A Girl Named Disaster, The Land of Silver Apples)
1944 Ian Wilmut, English embryologist (Supervised team that produced 1st mammal cloned from cell of an adult, Dolly the sheep)
1946 Joe Spano, San Francisco, California, actor (Hill Street Blues, FBI Special Agent Tobias Fornell on NCIS)
1949 Shelley Duvall, Houston, Texas, actress (Popeye, Rocketman, The Shining, Casper Meets Wendy)
1961 Eric Jerome Dickey, Memphis, Tennessee, author (Gideon series, Liars Game, Thieves’ Paradise, Decadence)
1968 Jeff VanderMeer, Bellefonte, Pennsylvania, author (City of Saints and Madmen, Shriek: An Afterword, Predator: South China Seas, Southern Reach Trilogy)
1968 Jorja Fox, NYC, actress (ER, CSI, Unity)
1971 Christian Camargo, New York City, NY, actor (Dexter, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Haven, House of Cards)
1972 Kirsten Vangsness, Pasadena, California, actress (Criminal Minds, Kill Me Deadly, Vampire Mob)
1980 Michelle Kwan, Torrance, California, figure skater (Championships: 5 World, 9 U.S.; Olympics: 1998 silver, 2002 Bronze)
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Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never. – Winston Churchill
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HAPPENED THIS DAY IN HISTORY:
1846 US begins annexation of California.
1863 1st military draft by US (exemptions cost $100).
1898 US annexes Hawaii.
1930 Construction begins on Boulder (Hoover) Dam.
1941 US forces land in Iceland to forestall Nazi invasion.
1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini canonized as 1st American saint.
1947 Downed UFO believed to be found in the Roswell UFO incident.
1958 President Eisenhower signs Alaska statehood bill.
1978 Solomon Islands gains independence from Britain (National Day).
1981 President Ronald Reagan appoints Sandra Day O’Connor to become the first female member of the Supreme Court of the United States.
1985 Boris Becker becomes the youngest player ever to win Wimbledon at age 17.
2003 NASA Opportunity rover, MER-B or Mars Exploration Rover – B, was launched into space aboard a Delta II rocket.
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The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.”
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”
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The arithmetic teacher had written 10.9 on the blackboard and had then rubbed out the decimal point to show the effect of multiplying this number by ten.
“Johnny,” the teacher asked, “where is the decimal point now?”
“On the eraser!” came back the quick reply.
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Teachers never give up, and neither does Little Johnny. She asks him, “Can you name the Great Lakes?”
You know Johnny, always fast with an answer, pipes up with, “I don’t need to. They’ve already been named.”
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ONE-LINERS: You Know It’s Time to Diet When…
– You dance and it makes the band skip.
– You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.
– You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.
– You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.
– Your driver’s license says, “Picture continued on other side.”
– You ran away and they had to use all four sides of the milk carton for your picture.
– You learn you were born with a silver shovel in your mouth.
– You could sell shade.
– Your blood type is Ragu.
– You need an appointment to attend an ‘open house’.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
“No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump.
As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. “Here,” she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. “I found them in the hallway.”
“Now,” she said, “if only I could find my parakeet.”
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pic of the day: Maremma Sheepdog in Pasture
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
Earlier this year Winston lost his ear. Luck would have it that it was replaced, with a pigs ear, by doctors. They cut it to size and made it look more human before sewing it, invisibly, in place.
Several weeks passed before Winston felt it necessary to return to his surgeons.
When he did, Winston complained bitterly, “Doctor, I keep hearing this noise and its doing my head in.”
The doctor, totally unconcerned answered, “Don’t worry, its just a bit of crackling.”
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What Men Say… What they really mean…
~ “I can’t find it,” REALLY MEANS, “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”
~ “That’s women’s work,” REALLY MEANS, “It’s dirty, difficult and thankless.”
~ “Will you marry me?” REALLY MEANS, “Both my roommates have moved out, I can’t find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter.”
~ “It’s a guy thing,” REALLY MEANS, “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
~ “Can I help with dinner?” REALLY MEANS, “Why isn’t it already on the table?”
~ “It would take too long to explain, “REALLY MEANS, “I have no idea how it works.”
~ “I’m getting more exercise lately,” REALLY MEANS, “The batteries in the remote are dead.”
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golden oldie… An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.”
The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”
The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know… the one that’s red and has thorns.”
“Do you mean a rose?”
“Yes, that’s the one,” replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
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LATE NIGHT QUIPS. . .
* A newly released email reveals that Hillary Clinton said to a co-worker, “I heard on the radio there’s a cabinet meeting. Can I go?” In another email she said she found out about the debt ceiling from Smooth Jazz 94.7. – Conan O’Brien
* It’s hard to believe it was legal to get gay married in Alabama before it was legal to smoke a joint in Oregon, isn’t it? – Jimmy Kimmel
* So many people have jumped the White House fence recently that the Secret Service is putting metal spikes on it. This is the latest in security technology — from 1325. It’s impenetrable, unless you use a ladder. We’re now protecting the president’s life the same way we keep pigeons from sitting on ATMs. – Jimmy Kimmel
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A woman ordered a new stove from a retailer. However, the stove was delivered while the woman was at work one day.
When the woman got home, she noticed that the new stove had been installed and her old stove was missing. She frantically called the retailer and asked, “Where is my old stove?”
The retailer replied that she just had a new one delivered to her. The woman asked again “Where is my old stove?”
The retailer replied. “Your new stove has all the latest features” and he proceeded to list them all.
The woman interrupted “Where is my old stove?”
The retailer concerned and bewildered asked the woman why she wanted to know where her old stove was.
The woman replied in anguish, ” My dinner is in the oven!”
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Hypochondriac: “I have a terrible pain in my left side. I think it’s appendicitis!”
Doctor: “No, that can’t be. The appendix is on the right side.”
Hypochondriac: “So THAT’S why it hurts so much! My appendix is on the wrong side!”
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QUIP OF THE DAY: He knows so little and knows it so fluently – Ellen Glasgow
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln