When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you. – Lolly Daskal
TODAY – JULY 21st – THURSDAY
203rd day of 2016 with 163 days to follow. The moon is waning with 98% visible.
Holidays for Today:
*National Junk Food Day
*Get to Know Your Customer Day! (3rd Thursday)
*Invite an Alien to Live with You Day
*National Tug-Of-War Tournament Day
*Take a Monkey to Lunch Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1620 Jean Picard, French astronomer (first person to measure the size of the Earth to a reasonable degree of accuracy)
1810 Henri Victor Regnault, French chemist (careful measurements of the thermal properties of gases)
1816 Paul Julius Baron von Reuter, German-born British journalist (founded Reuters news service)
1864 Frances Clara Folsom Cleveland Preston, Buffalo, New York, 27th First Lady of the United States (1886-1889; wife of Grover Cleveland)
1899 Ernest Hemingway, Oak Park, Illinois, writer and journalist (Nobel 1954 / The Sun Also Rises, A Farewell to Arms, The Old Man and the Sea)
1920 Isaac Stern, Russia, violinist (debut SF Symphony)
1923 Rudolph A. Marcus, Montreal, Quebec, chemist (electron transfer)
1924 Don Knotts, Morgantown, West Virginia, actor (Barney on Andy Griffith Show, The Apple Dumpling Gang, Three’s Company)
1948 Garry Trudeau, New York City, New York, cartoonist (Doonesbury comic strip)
1951 Robin Williams, Chicago, Illinois, actor and comedian (Mork and Mindy, Good Will Hunting, Good Morning Vietnam, Dead Poets Society, The Fisher King, Aladdin, Jumanji, Patch Adams, Robots, Night at the Museum, Happy Feet, The Crazy Ones, The Angriest Man in Brooklyn)
1956 Michael Connelly, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, author (detective novels and other crime fiction – (Harry Bosch series, Mickey Haller series, Jack McEvoy series, Blood Work, Void Moon)
1960 Lance Guest, Saratoga, California, actor (Alex Rogan in The Last Starfighter, Jaws: The Revenge, The Jennie Project, Traces)
1969 Godfrey, Lincoln, Nebraska, comedian (Soul Plane, Original Gangstas, Zoolander, Johnson Family Vacation)
1975 Christopher Barzak, Warren, Ohio, teacher & author (One for Sorrow (filmed as Jamie Marks is Dead), Wonders of the Invisible World)
1978 Josh Hartnett, Saint Paul, Minnesota, actor (Pearl Harbor, Black Hawk Down, 40 Days and 40 Nights, and 30 Days of Night, Wild Horses, Penny Dreadful)
1980 Sprague Grayden, Manchester, Massachusetts, actress (John Doe, Six Feet Under, Jericho, Sons of Anarchy, 24, Paranormal Activity, The Following)
1983 Olamide Faison, New York City, NY, actor (Miles Robinson on Sesame Street)
1989 Chelsie Hightower, Las Vegas, Nevada, dancer and choreographer (Dancing with the Stars: seasons 8-15)
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Adversity does teach who your real friends are. – Lois McMaster Bujold, A Civil Campaign
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1861 American Civil War: First Battle of Bull Run – at Manassas Junction, Virginia, the first major battle of the war begins and ends in a victory for the Confederate army.
1865 In the market square of Springfield, Missouri, Wild Bill Hickok shoots and kills Davis Tutt in what is regarded as the first western showdown.
1873 At Adair, Iowa, Jesse James and the James-Younger Gang pull off the first successful train robbery in the American Old West.
1877 After rioting by Baltimore and Ohio Railroad workers and the deaths of nine rail workers at the hands of the Maryland militia, workers in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania stage a sympathy strike that is met with an assault by the state militia.
1904 Trans-Siberian railway completed which opened Siberia to colonization.
1918 U-156 shells Nauset Beach, in Orleans, Massachusetts.
1919 The dirigible Wingfoot Air Express crashes into the Illinois Trust and Savings Building in Chicago, killing 12 people.
1925 Sir Malcolm Campbell becomes the first man to break the 150 mph (241 km/h) land barrier at Pendine Sands in Wales. He drove a Sunbeam at a two-way average speed of 150.33 mph (242 km/h).
1949 The United States Senate ratifies the North Atlantic Treaty.
1959 Elijah Jerry “Pumpsie” Green becomes the first African-American to play for the Boston Red Sox, the last team to integrate. He came in as a pinch runner for Vic Wertz and stayed in as shortstop in a 2-1 loss to the Chicago White Sox.
1961 Mercury program: Mercury-Redstone 4 Mission: Gus Grissom piloting Liberty Bell 7 becomes the second American to go into space (in a suborbital mission).
2000 International group of scientists at Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced evidence for subatomic particle named tau neutrino.
2007 Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the fastest-selling novel ever, is published. It sold 15 million copies in the first 24 hours of its release.
2011 NASA’s Space Shuttle program ends with the landing of Space Shuttle Atlantis on mission STS-135.
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An English professor complained to the pet shop proprietor, “The parrot I purchased uses improper language.”
“I’m surprised,” said the owner. “I’ve never taught that bird to swear.”
“Oh, it isn’t that,” explained the professor. “But yesterday I heard him split an infinitive.”
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After being sentenced to 32 years in jail for robbery, Alvin Washington of Clifton Heights, Pa., argued, successfully, that he should have a new trial because he wasn’t given the opportunity to defend himself in the first proceeding.
At the second trial he was his own lawyer and this time was given an 80-year sentence. (Should have listened to old adage, “Quit while you’re ahead!”)
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ONE-LINERS:
~Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
~Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks
~Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.
~Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!
~C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
~Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
~Chocolate: the OTHER major food group.
~Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
~When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
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A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life.
‘It’s pretty good Pa. The food’s not bad, the work’s easy, but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning.’
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pic of the day: Fringed Daisies
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ What did the duck say when she bought some lipstick? Put it on my bill.
~ When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder.
~ Broken puppets for sale. No strings attached.
~ I knew a woman who owned a taser, man was she stunning!
~ A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
~ I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.
~ Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’.
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Three blokes are driving around, drinking beers and having a laugh when the driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car telling him to pull over. The other two are really worried. “What are we going to do with our beers? We’re in trouble!”
“No,” the driver says, “it’s OK, just pull the label off your bottle and stick them on your foreheads, and the bloke pulls over.
The police officer then walks up and says, “You lads were swerving all around the road back there. Have you been drinking?”
“Oh, no, officer,” says the driver, pointing to his forehead, “We’re trying to give up, so we’re on the patch.”
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Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were.
“I’m so tough,” said the first boy, “that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week.”
“Well,” said the second little boy, “I’m so tough, I can wear out a pair of jeans in a day.”
“That’s nothing,” said the third boy. “When my parents take me to see my grandma and grandpa, I can wear them out in just one hour.”
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LATE NIGHT QUIPS. . .
* Trump and Mike Pence actually sat down for a joint interview on “60 Minutes.” And Pence said that if he has differences with Donald Trump, he would, quote, “walk into the president’s office, close the door, and share my heart.” Even the guys on “The Bachelorette” were like, “GROSS!” – Jimmy Fallon
* The only thing more confusing than Pokémon Go is the Republican National Convention, which is under way in Cleveland. They say there haven’t been this many white people at the Quicken Loans Arena since the night they double-booked Jimmy Buffett and Kenny G. – Jimmy Kimmel
* After Jeb Bush’s decision not to attend this week’s Republican National Convention, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich called him a “bad loser.” Said Jeb, “Actually I’m a great loser! I do it all the time! It’s what I’m best at!” – Seth Meyers
* You may not know this but you’re not supposed to see the candidate before the nomination, let alone on the first night. That’s like the bride not only being seen on her wedding day but jumping out of the cake at the bachelor party. – Stephen Colbert
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An incompetent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills.
He figures that the only way he’s going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren’t too bright and change his phony money for real cash.
He travels to a small town in West Virginia and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store. He goes to the old man behind the counter and asks him, “Do you have change for a $15 bill?”
The old man replies, “I sure do…How would you like that? An 8 and a 7 or two 6s and a three?”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: ~Why shouldn’t you touch that ash? Tourists who are eager to visit recently erupted volcanoes while on vacation should take heed. Volcanic ash has been known to remain hot for a period of nearly one hundred years.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. – Dave Barry
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Truth is tough. It will not break, like a bubble, at a touch; nay, you may kick it about all day like a football, and it will be round and full at evening. – Oliver Wendell Holmes