Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it. – Salma Hayek
TODAY – JULY 18th – MONDAY
200th day of 2016 with 166 days to follow. Full Buck Moon (98% visible). Bucks begin to grow new antlers at this time so Native Americans called this the Full Buck Moon. This Full Moon was also known as the Thunder Moon because thunderstorms are so frequent during this month.
Holidays for Today:
*National Caviar Day
*Nelson Mandela International Day
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1635 Robert Hooke, English scientist (Hooke’s Law, Microscopy, applied the word ‘cell’)
1811 William Makepeace Thackeray, England, Victorian novelist (Vanity Fair)
1853 Hendrik Lorentz, Netherlands, physicist (Nobel / discovery& theoretical explanation of the Zeeman effect)
1909 Harriet Nelson (Peggy Lou Snyder), Des Moines, Iowa, actress (The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet)
1913 Red Skelton, Vincennes, Indiana, comedian (Clem Kadiddlehopper, Freddie the Freeloader)
1918 Nelson Mandela, Union of South Africa, President of South Africa from 1994-1999 (imprisoned for 27 years, winner of Nobel Peace Prize)
1921 John H Glenn Jr, Cambridge, Ohio, Col USMC astronaut (Mercury 6, Sen-D-OH) oldest person in space (1998: Discovery STS-95)
1923 Jerome H. Lemelson, Staten Island, New York, inventor (famous for his submarine patents)
1926 Margaret Laurence, Manitoba, Canada, author (The Stone Angel, The Diviners, A Jest of God)
1929 Dick Button, Englewood, New Jersey, commentator/figure skater (Olympic gold-1948, 1952)
1937 Roald Hoffman, Złoczów, Poland, Polish-born chemist (reaction mechanisms)
1938 Ian Stewart, Fife, Scotland, musician (keyboardist, co-founder of The Rolling Stones)
1940 James Brolin, Los Angeles, California, actor (Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, Westworld, Capricorn One, Dr. Steven Kiley on Marcus Welby, M.D., The West Wing, Life in Pieces)
1941 Martha Reeves, Eufaula, Alabama, singer (Martha and the Vandellas)
1947 Steve Forbes, Morristown, New Jersey, entrepreneur and politician (Forbes magazine)
1948 Hartmut Michel, Ludwigsburg, German chemist (crystallization of membrane proteins)
1954 Ricky Skaggs, Lawrence County, Kentucky, country & bluegrass singer and musician (Toy Hearts, 2 Different Worlds)
1961 Elizabeth McGovern, Evanston, Illinois, actress (Ordinary People, Ragtime, Johnny Handsome, Downton Abbey)
1967 Vin Diesel, New York City, New York, actor (The Fast and the Furious, Pitch Black, Chronicles of Riddick, Saving Private Ryan, Babylon AD, The Last Witch Hunter)
1979 Jason Weaver, Chicago, Illinois, actor (The Jacksons: An American Dream, The LeBrons)
1980 Kristen Bell, Huntington Woods, Michigan, actress (Polish Wedding, Veronica Mars, Gossip Girl, Heroes, Frozen, Zootopia)
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You can’t be angry with God and not believe in him at the same time. – Sara B. Cooper
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1914 The U.S. Congress forms the Aviation Section, U.S. Signal Corps, giving definite status to aircraft within the U.S. Army for the first time.
1925 Adolf Hitler publishes his personal manifesto Mein Kampf.
1955 The first Disneyland theme park, in Anaheim, California, officially opens to the public.
1965 Russian satellite Zond 3 launched.
1966 Gemini 10 launched.
1968 The Intel Corporation is founded in Santa Clara, California.
1984 McDonald’s massacre in San Ysidro, California: in a fast-food restaurant, James Oliver Huberty opens fire, killing 21 people and injuring 19 others before being shot dead by police.
1986 A tornado is broadcast live on KARE television in Minnesota when the station’s helicopter pilot makes a chance encounter.
1992 The ten victims of the La Cantuta massacre disappear from their university in Lima.
1994 The bombing of the Asociación Mutual Israelita Argentina (Argentinian Jewish Communal Center) in Buenos Aires kills 85 people (mostly Jewish) and injures 300.
1995 On the Caribbean island of Montserrat, the Soufriere Hills volcano erupts. Over the course of several years, it devastates the island, destroying the capital and forcing most of the population to flee.
1996 Storms provoke severe flooding on the Saguenay River, beginning one of Quebec’s costliest natural disasters ever.
2013 The Government of Detroit, with up to $20 billion in debt, files for the largest municipal bankruptcy in U.S. history.
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A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a pick-up on I-75. He says to the driver, “Got any ID?”
The driver says, ” ‘Bout what? ”
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Two Irishmen visiting the US are getting ready to go on a camping trip. The first one says, “I’m takin’ along a gallon of whiskey just in case of rattlesnake bites. What are you takin’?”
“Two rattlesnakes.”
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ONE-LINERS:Graduate Degrees in Action
What does a graduate student with a science degree ask?
“Why does it work?”
What does a grad student with an engineering degree ask?
“How does it work?”
What does a grad student with an accounting degree ask?
“How much will it cost?”
What does a grad student with a liberal arts degree ask?
“Do you want fries with that?”
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Last December, a grandmother was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife. “You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T.”
She continued, “There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in,and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell.”
“Grandma, that sounds easy,” replied the grandson, “but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow”?
To which she answered, “You’re coming empty handed?”
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pic of the day: Foster Falls In New River Trail State Park of southeastern Tennessee
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ Microbe: What you wear to speak before a large audience
~ Horsehair: A rabbit with laryngitis
~ Misinform: A young lady who works out to stay in shape
~ Migraine: The wheat belong to me
~ Shampoo: a fake toy bear
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His wife’s grave side service was just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there…’
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Fellow 1 : “Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that, too.”
Fellow 2 : “Wow, that’s Incredible. How did he know all of that?”
Fellow 1 : “A judge told him.”
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LATE NIGHT QUIP. . .
Players of the popular Pokémon Go smartphone game are reporting problems in South Korea, where mapping apps are restricted. Meanwhile, players in North Korea are reporting problems capturing a really angry Jigglypuff. – Seth Meyers
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John and his friend George go golfing together one Saturday morning, as they have done for 24 years straight. Yes, you might say these guys were fanatics about their golfing.
Later that day, John returns home exhausted, and plops down in the easy chair. His wife is concerned and asks if something went wrong with his game.
“No, no,” he replied, “I had the best game I had in years! As a matter of fact, I started out the first three holes at 4 under par, including a hole-in-two on the 3rd.”
“So why are you so beat?” his wife asked.
“Well, George had a heart attack and died on the 4th hole,” he said.
“What?!? And you’re so exhausted from trying to save him, huh?”
“No, It was very quick and there was nothing anyone could’ve done. But after that, it was just hit the ball, drag George, hit the ball, drag George…”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: How did malaria get its name? Malaria, we know now, is caused by germs carried by mosquitoes. But before anyone knew that, it was believed that evil spirits in the night air caused the disease. Hence, the name “malaria” means “bad air.”
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QUIP OF THE DAY: We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets; then can come the best of benedictions – ‘If I had my life to live over, I’d do it all the same. – Joan McIntosh