What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness. – Baruch Spinoza
TODAY – JANUARY 26th – THURSDAY
26th day of 2017 with 339 days to follow. Moon new with 3% visible.
Holidays for Today:
~ Lotus 1-2-3 Day
~ National Peanut Brittle Day
~ Spouse’s Day
~ Toad Hollow Day of Encouragement
~ Book Blitz Month
~ Birth Defects Prevention Month
~ National Soup Month
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1880 Douglas MacArthur, Little Rock, Arkansas, World War II general and Medal of Honor recipient
1905 Maria von Trapp, Austrian-born singer (inspiration for The Sound of Music)
1915 William Hopper, New York City, New York, actor (Paul Drake on Perry Mason)
1918 Philip José Farmer, Terra Haute, Indiana, sci-fi/fantasy author (Riverworld, World of Tiers, Doc Savage)
1925 Paul Newman, Cleveland, Ohio, actor, philanthropist, race car driver and race team owner, ‘Newman’s Own’ food company (The Color Of Money, Cool Hand Luke, The Towering Inferno, Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, The Sting)
1941 Scott Glenn, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, actor (Urban Cowboy,The Right Stuff, The Hunt for Red October, The Silence of the Lambs, The Leftovers, Daredevil)
1949 Jonathan Carroll, New York City, author (novels characterized as magic realist / The Crane’s View Trilogy, The Ghost in Love, Bathing the Lion)
1949 David Strathairn, San Francisco, California, actor (The Whistleblower, The Spiderwick Chronicles, Fracture, Temple Grandin, Alphas, Lincoln, The Blacklist)
1958 Ellen DeGeneres, Metairie, Louisiana, actress and comedian (The Ellen DeGeneres Show)
1961 Wayne Gretzky, Brantford, Ontario, Canada, ice hockey player and coach
1964 Paul Johansson, Spokane, Washington, actor (Lonesome Dove, Highlander: The Raven, One Tree Hill, Van Helsing)
1978 Kelly Stables, St. Louis, Missouri, actress (Two and a Half Men, Dragon Hunter, The Exes, Horrible Bosses 2, No Tomorrow)
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Grace must find expression in life, otherwise it is not grace. – Karl Barth
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1837 Michigan is admitted as the 26th U.S. state.
1911 Glenn H. Curtiss flies the first successful American seaplane.
1920 Former Ford Motor Company executive Henry Leland launches the Lincoln Motor Company which he later sold to his former employer.
1961 John F. Kennedy appoints Janet G. Travell to be his physician. This is the first time a woman holds this appointment.
1962 Ranger program: Ranger 3 is launched to study the moon. The space probe later misses the moon by 22,000 miles (35,400 km).
1984 CBS television debuted Mickey Spillane’s “The New Mike Hammer” with Stacy Keach playing Mike Hammer.
1992 Russian president Boris Yeltsin announced that his country would stop targeting U.S. cities with nuclear weapons.
2004 A whale explodes in the town of Tainan, Taiwan. A build-up of gas in the decomposing sperm whale is suspected of causing the explosion.
2005 Glendale train crash: Two trains derail killing 11 and injuring 200 in Glendale, California, near Los Angeles.
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One day our physics professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask “Why do we have to learn this stuff?”
“To save lives.” the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. “So, how does physics save lives?” he persisted.
“It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school,” replied the professor.
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I have changed my system for labeling homemade freezer meals. I used to carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf” or “Pot Roast” or “Steak and Vegetables or “Chicken and Dumplings” or “Beef Pot Pie.”
However, I used to get frustrated when I asked my husband what he wanted for dinner because he never asked for any of those things. So, I decided to stock the freezer with what he really likes.
If you look in my freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.” My frustration is now reduced because no matter what my husband replies when I ask him what he wants for dinner, I know that it is there waiting.
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ONE-LINERS: A TEACHER’S DICTIONARY
~ CONTEST: An examination taken by a prisoner.
~ DETENTION: What causes de stress: “De love of teaching outweighs DETENTION that comes with de job.”
~ DIPLOMA: De person who fixes de pipes.
~ DRAMA TEACHER: A stage coach who produces class acts.
~ ENGLISH TEACHER: An inmate in the House of Correction.
~ FACULTY MEETING: A debate in which teachers take hours to take minutes.
~ FIRST GRADE TEACHER: One who knows how to make little things count.
~ GEOMETRY: What an acorn says when it’s all grown up.
~ HEAD OF THE SCHOOL ORCHESTRA: A super- conductor.
~ HINDSIGHT: A talent that helps a teacher to avoid sitting on tacks placed on her chair by mischievous students.
(from “A Tribute To Teachers,” (c) 2011 by Richard Lederer)
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game’s over!”
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pic of the day:
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
An American couple retired to London, where they found a wonderful house, quite ancient, with a long and noble history.
Much to their chagrin, though, they discovered that their new home was abysmally cold in winter. They immediately set about trying to get a central heating system installed. Sadly, contractor after contractor told them that it simply wasn’t feasible in a house that old
“I was afraid it would come down to this,” the husband finally said.
“What, honey?”
“We can’t have archaic and heat it too.”
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A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids….”
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A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”
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A mother was determined to break through the generation gap and have a meaningful conversation with her pre-teen about her first day back at school.
The mother asked, “Did you have a good day?”
The daughter responded with, “Yeah.”
Trying to prod a more detailed response the mother inquired, “Do you like school this year?”
The daughter said, “Well, sort of.”
Again pressing the point, the determined Mom asked, “Well how much did you like it.”
As a sign of the way smart phones have changed the way young people think the daughter replied, “I like it. But, I only like it about two bars.”
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As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets. That changed when a kitten adopted me.
The freshmen in my dorm kept my secret. They covered for me by calling my kitten “the Book,” since I had so many in my room.
One morning I was leaving the dorm with the kitten in a carrier. A student stopped me and asked, “Where are you taking the Book?”
I explained that I was taking the kitten to the vet. “She’s getting neutered today,” I told him.
“Hmmm,” the student responded, “no sequels.”
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: How many blood vessels do we have? If all the blood vessels in a single human body were stretched end to end, they would form a string capable of going around the world.
~Why was yellow ribbon so popular in 1991? During Desert Storm in 1991, Tony Orlando and Dawn’s 1970s pop hit Tie a Yellow Ribbon (Round the Old Oak Tree) had a resurgence in popularity as the anthem for American families with loved ones overseas. As a result of the tremendous demand for yellow ribbon, one ribbon-maker shipped 30 million yards of yellow ribbon in a month.
~Who was the first female presidential candidate? Victoria Woodhall was the first woman to run for President of the US. (1872)
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QUIP OF THE DAY: Time is a great healer, but a poor beautician. – Lucille S. Harper
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . Many people weigh the guilt they will feel against the pleasure of the forbidden action they want to take. – Peter McWilliams, Life 101