Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. – Kahlil Gibran
TODAY – AUGUST 23rd – TUESDAY
236th day of 2016 with 130 days to follow. Moon is waning with 69% visible.
Holidays for Today:
~ National Spongecake Day
~ Ride the Wind Day
~ Internaut Day (Internaut is a blend of Internet and astronaut, and refers to a designer, operator, or technically capable user of the Internet beyond the casual user)
*International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition
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BIRTHDAYS ON THIS DATE:
1769 Georges Cuvier, French biologist and statesman ( established fields of stratigraphy and comparative anatomy )
1785 Oliver Hazard Perry, South Kingston, Rhode Island, naval hero (Battle of Lake Erie, “We have met the enemy and they are ours…”)
1846 Alexander Milne Calder, Scottish-American sculptor (architectural sculpture of Philadelphia City Hall)
1868 Edgar Lee Masters, Garnett, Kansas, author (Spoon River Anthology, The New Star Chamber, Illinois Poems)
1890 Harry Frank Guggenheim, West End, New Jersey, businessman and publisher ( co-founded Newsday)
1912 Gene Kelly, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, dancer/actor (An American in Paris, Going My Way)
1917 Tex Williams, Ramsey, Illinois, singer (helped move acoustic country music to dance-oriented mainstream pop Western swing)
1922 George Kell, Swifton, Arkansas, baseball player ( Baltimore Orioles 1956–1957, then baseball broadcaster for 40 years)
1923 Edgar F. Codd, Isle of Portland, England, computer scientist (OLAP / relational model for database management)
1929 Vera Miles, Boise City, Oklahoma, actress (Psycho, The Wrong Man, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance)
1931 Hamilton O. Smith, New York City, New York, microbiologist (Nobel / Restriction enzymes)
1932 Mark Russell, Buffalo, New York, political satirist/pianist (Real People)
1933 Robert Curl, Alex, Texas, chemist (Nobel / discovery of fullerene)
1934 Barbara Eden, Tucson, Arizona, actress & singer (I Dream of Jeannie, Amazing Dobermans)
1943 Nelson DeMille, NYC, New York, thriller author (The Gold Coast, Night Fall, The General’s Daughter)
1949 Shelley Long, Fort Wayne, Indiana, actress (Diane in Cheers, Night Shift, The Money Pit, Modern Family)
1963 Kenny Wallace, St. Louis, Missouri, NASCAR race car driver (Also an on-air personality for SPEED on NASCAR RaceDay and NASCAR Victory Lane)
1970 River Phoenix, Madras, Oregon, actor / singer (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Explorers, The Mosquito Coast)
1976 Scott Caan, Los Angeles, California, actor (Ocean’s Eleven, Twelve & Thirteen; Into the Blue, Enemy of the State, Hawaii Five-O)
1979 Edgar Sosa, Mexico City, Mexico, Mexican boxer.
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“No one really knows why they are alive until they know what they’d die for.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.
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HISTORICAL HAPPENINGS:
1305 William Wallace, Scottish patriot, is executed for high treason by Edward I of England.
1541 French explorer Jacques Cartier lands near Quebec City in his third voyage to Canada.
1775 King George III declares that the American colonies exist in a state of open and avowed rebellion.
1784 Eastern Tennessee (western NC at the time) declares itself an independent state under the name of Franklin; the step is rejected by Congress.
1896 First Cry of the Philippine Revolution is made in Pugad Lawin (Quezon City), in the province of Manila.
1904 Automobile tire chain patented.
1929 Hebron Massacre during the 1929 Palestine riots: Arab attack on the Jewish community in Hebron in the British Mandate of Palestine, continuing until the next day, resulted in the death of 65-68 Jews and the remaining Jews being forced to leave the city.
1938 English cricketer Len Hutton sets a world record for the highest individual Test innings of 364, during a Test match against Australia.
1939 World War II: Germany and the Soviet Union sign a non-aggression treaty, the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact. In a secret addition to the pact, the Baltic states, Finland, Romania, and Poland are divided between the two nations.
1942 World War II: Beginning of the Battle of Stalingrad.
1944 Freckleton Air Disaster – A United States Army Air Forces B-24 Liberator bomber crashes into a school in Freckleton, England killing 61 people.
1946 Ordinance No. 46 of the British Military Government constitutes the German Land (state) of Schleswig-Holstein.
1948 World Council of Churches is formed.
1966 Lunar Orbiter 1 takes the first photograph of Earth from orbit around the Moon.
1990 Saddam Hussein appears on Iraqi state television with a number of Western “guests” (actually hostages) to try to prevent the Gulf War.
1990 West Germany and East Germany announce that they will unite on October 3.
1996 Osama bin Laden issues message entitled ‘A declaration of war against the Americans occupying the land of the two holy places.’
2011 A 5.8 earthquake occurs in Mineral, Virginia, the earthquake is felt as far north as Ontario and as far south as Atlanta, Georgia. Damage occurs to monuments in Washington D.C. and the resulted damage is estimated at $100 Million.
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An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, “That’s impossible! That can’t be!
“The Doctor says, “What do you mean? I’m the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it’s NOT old age?”
The patient answers, “I’m no doctor but it doesn’t take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you’re mistaken. After all my other leg feels just fine.”
“So what?” says the doctor “What difference does that make?”
“Well it doesn’t hurt a bit, and it’s the SAME AGE!”
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A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner.” No one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off the corner!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled glances in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, “Well, how did I do?”
“Pretty good,” replied the veteran, “especially since that was a bus stop.”
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ONE-LINERS: THE BELOIT COLLEGE MINDSET LIST FOR THE CLASS OF 2020
Students heading into their first year of college this year are mostly 18 and were born in 1998. Among those who have never been alive in their lifetime are Frank Sinatra, Phil Hartman, Matthew Shepard, Sonny Bono, and Flo-Jo.
Since they arrived on this planet…
1. There has always been a digital swap meet called eBay.
2. Grandpa has always been able to reach for the Celebrex.
3. They never heard Harry Caray try to sing during the seventh inning at Wrigley Field.
4. There have always been Cadillac Escalades, but they just don’t seem to be all that into cars.
5. West Nile has always been a virus found in the U.S.
6. Vladimir Putin has always been calling the shots at the Kremlin.
7. The Sandy Hook tragedy is their Columbine.
8. Cloning has always been a mundane laboratory procedure.
9. Elian Gonzalez, who would like to visit the U.S. again someday, has always been back in Cuba.
10. The United States has always been at war.
11. Euros have always been the coin of the realm…well, at least part of the realm.
12. Serena Williams has always been winning Grand Slam singles titles.
13. SpongeBob SquarePants has always lived at Bikini Bottom.
14. The Ali/Frazier boxing match for their generation was between the daughters of Muhammad and Joe.
15. They have never had to watch or listen to programs at a scheduled time.
16. James P. Hoffa has always been president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters.
17. Surprise: There has always been sex in the city.
18. John Hinckley has always been able to get out of the hospital to go for a walk.
19. Each year they’ve been alive the U.S. population has grown by more than one million Latinos.
20. TV ads for casinos have always been permitted to mention that there is actually gambling going on in there.
21. Vaccines have always been erroneously linked to autism.
22. Laws against on-the-job harassment have always applied to parties of the same sex.
23. Even as the national mood gets glummer, there has always been an annual prize for the most humorous American.
24. Catholics and Lutherans have always been in agreement on how to get to heaven.
25. To greet them with some cheery news, when they were born, India and Pakistan became nuclear powers.
26. If you want to reach them, you’d better send a text — emails are oft ignored.
27. They disagree with their parents as to which was the “first” Star Wars episode.
28. “Nanny cams” have always been available to check up on the babysitter.
29. NFL coaches have always had the opportunity to throw a red flag and question the ref.
30. Bada Bing Tony and Carmela Soprano and the gang have always been part of American culture.
31. They have no memory of Bob Dole promoting Viagra.
32. Books have always been read to you on audible.com.
33. Citizens have always been able to register to vote when they get their driver’s license.
34. Bluetooth has always been keeping us wireless and synchronized.
35. X-rays have always been digital allowing them to be read immediately.
…AND THERE ARE 25 MORE…see the complete list and additional information and guides at www.beloit.edu/mindset and at www.themindsetlist.com
Copyright 2016 Beloit College; Mindset List is a registered trademark
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into Heaven?”
The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For Heaven’s sake, Jimmy, come in or stay out!'”
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pic of the day: Calvin and Hobbes..
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WARNING! ENTERING THE PUN ZONE!
~ During the annual pledge drive our minister always delivers a sermon on the importance of supporting the church. We call it his “Sermon on the Amount”.
~ A friend was complaining to me that when he used his cell phone during a trip to Italy he would be assessed a large roaming charge. He was doubly upset because he had to wait until his bill came weeks later to see how much the charge would be.
I told him, “You shouldn’t be surprised. After all, roam wasn’t billed in a day.”
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After being with her all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, “I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.”
“Thank heavens,” his date replied. “If yours hadn’t, mine would have had to!”
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A traveling salesman knocked on a farmer’s door late one night and requested a place to sleep for the night.
“We’re a little tight on space,” said the farmer, “so I’m going to have to put you in with my three sons.”
“Oh, pardon me,” said the salesman, “I must be in the wrong joke.”
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CLASSIC LATE NIGHT QUIPS. . .
~ “There are rumors going around that Facebook is building a cell phone. It’s pretty good, except you can only use it to call people you barely remember from high school.” (Jimmy Fallon)
~ “Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has been named Time Magazine’s Person of the Year. They say he has single-handedly changed the way we waste time at work.” (Jay Leno)
~ “Facebook now has more than 500 million users, which may help explain why unemployment is around 10 percent.” (Jimmy Kimmel)
~ “The Pentagon’s concerned that Facebook could pose a security risk to U.S. military personnel. Yeah, because apparently, there’s no telling what Al Qaeda could do if it knows what a soldier’s five favorite romantic comedies are.” (Conan O’Brien)
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The warden, addressing the three instigators of a failed prison riot, said, “I would like to know two things: First: Why did you revolt? Second: How did you get out of your cell?”
One of the three men stepped forward, “Warden, we rebelled because the food is awful.”
“I see. And what did you use to break the bars?” the warden asked.
Replied the spokesman, “French Toast…”
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Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated.
We can pretty much guess that they are no longer employed there.
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TODAY IN TRIVIA: When did women start to wear diamonds? During the middle ages, only men wore diamonds, as a symbol of their courage and virility. However, since 1477, when Archduke Maximilian of Austria gave a diamond ring to Mary of Burgundy, diamonds have been the gem of choice for men who wanted to melt a woman’s heart.
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QUIP OF THE DAY: You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.
THAT’S (ALMOST) ALL FOLKS!
Thought for the day. . . There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. – George Sand