Last week ended not with a review but a whimper: boy oh boy do we hate loath and abominate Daylight Saving Time.
A lot.
Except Donnaeve
I love me some DST. More porch time!
But the comment from Lisa Bodenheim on Monday was just epic:
Speaking of which...somewhere along the line, I missed what DST means and it's not in the glossary. And it's the Monday after .....ok, got it. Daylight Savings Time. jeeesh.
-wanders off for more caffeine-
Dena Pawling has the best suggestion EVER for all winners of all contests here on the blog:
Because the contest entries have become more and more difficult to judge, and your time this week is already full, I propose you choose all the entries as winning entries, and then send all of us a copy of John Frain's manuscript.
Which Mark Thurber agreed with
I second Dena's brilliant idea! (John, this has been an inspired viral campaign for your book -- your marketing people are truly top-notch.
As does Steve Forti
For the record, I'd read the hell out of John Frain's manuscript, too.
Along with BJ Muntain
Now I'm sad I didn't enter. I want to read John Frain's manuscript too :(
And CarolynnWith2Ns
It's after 1am, can't sleep. I'll read Frain. Please let it be boring so I can konk out.
And Karen McCoy
I'll definitely read Frain! His flash fiction inspires, and I'm sure his novel does too.
Which means the next time someone is debating whether to sign with me I'll just point out that we buzz your book before it's even finished, signed or sold.
Too bad this is too long to be the subheader of the week, cause this is priceless from Kregger
To borrow from the vernacular,
it's
Sisters before misters
and
Bros before (?)
now it's
Dollars before hollars!
You got that right, QOTKU
Celia Reaves cracked me up with this:
Just this week in my critique group we got to arguing over whether it should be "the place where they had laid Frank" or "the place where they had lain Frank." We decided on "the place where that had put Frank."
The struggle is real.
On Monday the topic was whether a film not based on your book could build buzz, a la a rising tide lifts all boats
Sadly, no.
Of course, I worked on that post up to the last minute so some spelling did not get czeched. And when you were kind enough to call it to my attention (which I DO appreciate) my reply was of course ironic in its typo as well:
Maybe if I WAS a robot, my spelling improve.
AIEEEEEE
I really loved what the Duchess of Kneale had to say here:
Every novel has a beginning. Every novel has an ending, whether it's being abandoned after chapter three, finished but doomed forever to the trunk, self-published or published by some Random Penguin to great acclaim.
Regardless of its fate, eventually you hit the end of the novel. Then what?
Unless you're willing to quit your writing career forever, you write another novel.
We write bad novels. We write practice novels. We write good novels and we write great novels. I've written novels that will never see the light of day. I've written novels I've apologised to the world for having written, they're so bad. But I've written (IMHO) good novels and I believe I've even written great novels.
When I initially queried my first novel, the query process took so long, by the time I realised no agent was going to pick it up, I had written another novel and was halfway through yet another.
A truly thorough query process takes a long time. It does our career and our mental health no good not to be writing a novel while we wait. A career novelist, even an apprentice one, will not stop at just one book.
And I'm growing in my love for the WIR for one very pragmatic reason: It allow me to catch the godawful spam that creeps in just under the moderated comment deadline. That magic husband restoring one is like fucking kudzu, bless its heart.
On Tuesday we discussed how to query if you're going to be unavailable for a while
I suggested a dedicated email and a trusted person to monitor it
Mark Thurber's comment is spot on
I can't seem to keep from checking my email compulsively for quite some length of time after I have queried, and so far, my most positive responses have come after I have completely given up and moved on to the next thing. So maybe being inaccessible would actually enhance one's positive response rate, like carrying an umbrella to ward off rain.
And this from RachelErin was eye-opening:
Right around Hurricane Sandy, when I was living in Pisa, we had a few days of fog that shut down our internet. No, that is not a typo. Fog. It has cyber-stealth powers that rainstorms and hurricanes can only rage about.
It took them two weeks to get internet back to the entire city. TWO WEEKS. In a city with a famous university. DH went to the internet service store daily, and they shrugged. It happens every couple of years. Meanwhile we saw news reports of areas hit by Sandy having internet restored in 3-4 days.
I wasn't querying, but I had design submissions out to magazines and was rebuilding a website with an Aussie. Email was not recreation. The web designer did not believe me when I told her a height-phobic cloud had flattened our service. I can only imagine what an agent would have thought. Is it a metaphor for going on a bender? Evidence of taking hallucinogens?
Better to be prepared. Stealth fog could strike anywhere.
I had no idea fog could shut down the internet!
Amy Schaeffer (soon to head out on an amazing sea voyage herself) said
As a final point, I wouldn't mention your connective difficulties in your query letter. Unless you are riding a unicycle across Mongolia and really will be out of touch, you should be able to check email often enough to keep up with requests. Bring it up once someone has asked for a query or full, and then only if the issue is still relevant. Good luck!
To which Megan V replied:
Amy, as a unicyclist, my knees buckled at the thought of riding across Mongolia. Uff da. That would be one arduous trip.
A unicyclist! I think we should all demand photos.
And speaking of things I want photos of Jenny C said:
I am happy to send my manuscript in whatever form the agent wants to see it. Hell, I'll write my synopsis on the side of a pumpkin and mail the pumpkin if that's what he/she likes. (Yes, you can mail a pumpkin.)
Adib Khorram asked:
Jenny C: I confess I'm quite surprised there are agents still doing snail mail! I wonder how common this is.
I get snail mail queries. Not many, but some. I always answer the ones from people in prison. That rebel Matthew with his "naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me" {25:36} might not have meant answering queries but I don't want to find out the hard way that he actually …did.
The topic turned, as I'm sure it will again in coming months, to the attraction of living in Canada.
Celia Reeve said
Remember when thousands upon thousands of airplane passengers were dumped on small cities in Canada on 9/11/01 because the US closed its borders to air travel?
Yes.
In fact, we'll never forget it.
On Wednesday, I posted some things I read in queries that actually mean something else as far as I'm concerned.
Colin Smith had a question about "there are no books on this topic"
Okay, so Ms. Majestic QOTKU Ma'am Sharkiness, this whole "Look till you find a book in your category..." thing--you seem to imply here that you're looking for comp titles on a query. Are you saying we need comp titles, or does this only apply if we decide to list comp titles? It seems to me, if you honestly can't think of a comp title, you shouldn't list comps at all. Better to say nothing and let the agent think, "Oh, cool--this sounds like The Exorcist meets Romeo and Juliet!" than to risk an instant form rejection, is it not? Yes, comps can be helpful. But so can nailing the correct genre, and you've told us that calling our Speculative Fiction "Sci-Fi" isn't a deal-breaker. What gives? Ma'am. :)
I don't think you need comps in a query. I think ya'll screw up comps more than you get them right, and who needs that?
However, if you think a comp is a good idea, or some other agent wants comps (and lots do) this advice is to keep you from shooting yourself in the foot.
In other words, you don't need to be armed to enter the QueryForest, but if you are, make sure you aim your blunderbuss in the correct direction.
Lisa Bodenheim asked:
But, Miz Sharque, if I write that I am a published author, name a non-fiction book and my publisher, can't the agent I'm querying just assume that my non-fiction publisher does not do fiction?
ummm…what?
I'm not sure where that fits in here…but remember I also couldn't find one of the prompt words in this week's contest either.
If you say you're a published author and you name the publisher, I assume you had an agent for the deal. I do not assume the agent only handles non-fiction. Was that what you meant?
Celia Reaves asked:
Like Lisa, I'm wondering about a previous nonfiction publication. I wrote a college textbook 24 years ago, published by Wiley (a highly respected publisher in the field). There was no agent involved, as is typical for that sort of deal. When I query my novel, I would assume no need to explain what happened with my nonfiction agent, since there was no such person, or why I'm not trying to place my novel with a textbook publisher. I still think it would be worthwhile to mention that earlier publication since it shows that I can write coherent sentences, finish a project on time, work with an editor and copy editor, and so on. But maybe not? Is an old nonfiction publication completely irrelevant and not worth wasting precious query words on?
If you're light on more current pub credits, listing a textbook is fine. You'd say "I published The Carkoon Guide to Kale (Wiley: 1792) without an agent"
I really really like what Kae Bell said on the subject of comps
On the issue of subjects, for what I say, what you hear -- what taxonomic level can writers assume the agent is operating at? So, taxonomy, the classification from specific to general. Bio refresh: genus, species, family, order, class, phylum, kingdom...Take the common house cat:
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Chordata
Class: Mammalia
Order: Carnivora
Suborder: Feliformia
Family: Felidae
Subfamily: Felinae
Genus: Felis
As it relates to queries, I'll use a personal example. I said in OP from earlier this week that there was almost no current fiction about Cambodia. Janet replied that there were six books. We had two different understandings of the subject. I was at the species level, i.e. "books set in 2016 Cambodia in which the Khmer Rouge try to return", while I think Janet replied more at the more general Phylum level, i.e. "books about Cambodia".
Without understanding people's taxonomic assumption about a subject, seems like confusion/lack of understanding could arise.
You should assume that an agent is looking at the Class level: fiction about Cambodia. Or non-fiction about Cambodia. No one is going to have your exact book (we hope!) but when the marketing and publicity folks need to talk about your book, they'll also be at the Class level.
Scott G cracked me up with this
What you say: Can't get to contest results til Wednesday. Wait, make that Thursday.
What I hear: Somebody had a liiiiiiiittle too much scotch while "editing" over the weekend and the hangover lasted longer than expected.
What you should take away: Janet, it's ok. You don't have to spend 24/7 on this blog helping writers not your own. You're entitled to "edit" once in a while.
And Donnaeve did too:
What you wrote (condensed version): Make a bold statement and I'm going to fact check until Google/Amazon/even the Library of Congress beg for mercy.
What I read: I can't believe I have put every single stinkin' thing I know out on Query Shark and STILL. This.
InkStainedWench (yes, I had to correct this from InkStainedWretch!) said
Oh, dear. I had no idea my query was saying so much about me. I am a published author of non-fiction, and said so. It never occurred to me that the agent would think I self-published. A Google search would reveal several top-drawer publishers; it never occurred to me that an agent would think I got in a bar fight with my agent.
I had no agent; my books were works-for-hire. I was asked to write them by a book packager who placed them with big houses. Should I have explained all this in my 250-word query? Or say nothing at all about my publishing history?
In you query you say just that "I am the author of Green Eggs and Kale (SnugglebunnyPress: 2001) that was a work for hire through a book packager."
Jason Magnason (who had not yet been exiled to Carkoon) asked
So just to be clear Janet, this is in context of your agent site not QueryShark, correct?
Just want to make sure that I was not in the: "Your not getting better" zone and that's why I haven't seen a response in a month or two.
This is about querying me, not about entries on QueryShark. QueryShark entries must keep sending queries till they drop dead, quit, or get to win. There is no fourth choice.
kdjames asked
Do you really have a rejection key? Because that would be so cool. Can we see a pic? Does it only work on queries or could it be used on all of life's irritations? (asking for a friend)
It's a graduation gift from Agent School.
It only works on queries. To reject other things, you'll need this
On Thursday we (finally!) got the writing contest results.
To celebrate Jason Magnason decided he wanted to spend some time on Carkoon
WE NEED A REIDER'S FLASHFICTION ANTHOLOGY!!!!!!
Janet, could this be something in the future? A sort of, Contest of Champions, the Wordsmiths Flash Fiction Annual.
For those of you who are perplexed about cause and effect here: a reminder that suggesting I do more work is generally met with banishment.
Dena Pawling said
Congrats to all, especially Cheryl! But I'm sorry you didn't get a copy of John Frain's manuscript. She must be holding that for the "best story of 2016 prize"
Exactly so.
Mark Thurber said
I was grateful for the delay in results this week, as I didn't get a chance to read them all until yesterday. I like what DLM said about inhabiting so many worlds in quick succession. It's a great exercise. I wonder if this is at all how agents feel when they read (good) queries and have to immerse themselves in one story after another?
Yes.
When I read queries, I often respond first to the ones I know are not a good fit for me. I flag the remainder to read at a later time, usually when I'm not in a hurry to do anything and can read at a more measured pace.
For example, yesterday (Friday 3/18/16) I read ten flagged queries. I ended up requesting five manuscripts (that's a HUGE percentage of requests, definitely not the norm.) They were all enticing pages so I went from outer space (yes, I requested an SF novel, don't die of shock) to a historical mystery.
After that the blog comments just went wildly, merrily off topic almost completely. In other words, good times.
On Friday we talked about book covers, and when a querying writer should mention their importance
Robert Ceres asked
This post does beg the question what the heck makes for a good cover? I can make a good list (if not follow) rules for a good query. I have a pretty good idea of what I think makes for a good book, and maybe some idea of what agents might like. I now know at least something about contracts. But covers? Nada. Not sure I can even look at a good cover that I like, say twilight, and say what it is I like. Yikes.
A good book cover is one that makes someone pick up (or in electronic parlance "look inside") or just proceed directly to buy.
As Kitty illustrated here:
The book cover on Steve Hamilton’s A Cold Day In Paradise was the only reason I picked it up in B&N. I didn’t even notice the Edgar Award-winning Novel gold seal on its cover. It was the cold snowy night that got my attention. I read the first page and immediately bought the book, and I’ve read every book in Hamilton’s Alex McKnight series since then. Some of the book covers in that series were boring, forgettable even. But I was hooked on the characters, so I didn’t care what those covers depicted. Had I not spied that first cover, I might have missed the whole wonderful series.
That means it was a good cover. It did it's job. There is no template. What works as a cover on one book may be a disaster on another.
For example:
Would simply not work with anyone who wasn't very famous, and very handsome.
The power of a good book cover is perfectly illustrated (get it!) by Mister Furkles comment
Alice Smith, my mother's college roommate, produced book jacket art, magazine covers, and book illustrations for years. She graduated from Parsons and the Paris School of Fine Art (École Nationale Supérieure des Beaux-Arts.)
We visited her in New York once. Alice's art would haunt your mind for years afterward. There was an implicit suspense about them. I still remember two book covers she'd just finished. The cover for a book with a title like “The Day the Money Ran Out” was of a fine bookcase with leather bound books. There was an empty whiskey glass and an overturned, nearly empty bottle next to it. Several of the books had fallen over. You wanted to know what happened.
I liked S.P. Bowers comment here
Mostly I just want my book to have a cover.
I love Jenz' insight here
I used to design CD covers, and I bet working with authors on book cover design would be the same kind of special hell that working with musicians was.
Don't get me wrong, they're wonderful people. :) But clients with deep emotional investment get fixated on the parts they love most instead of what a broader audience will fast connect to.
And Joseph Snoe cracked me up with this
I'm with Colin. I don't want my picture on my book's back cover (I don't want his picture on my book's back cover, either.).
But I'll demand they put my name on the front cover.
B.J. Muntain however
Well *I* want Colin's picture on my book. *note to self - hire Colin as stunt double*
Craig said
Six or eight careers ago I designed signs. Nothing can make or break a company more than the sign they put in front of their building. Before I got bored with the miracle on demand business of sign design I designed six signs that became classics. We ended up having to keep a stock of those signs because people would steal them within a week of a new one going up.
One of those signs we planted in the middle of a pond. Since it was in Sarasota that pond was full of gators. None of those signs lasted more than a week before it was stolen.
The old saying is imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Larceny can't be far behind!
Kate Higgins said
In my "real" life as a graphic designer, I've done my share of book cover designs mostly for non-fiction. I would never do one without reading the book or at least examining it for tone and researching its target audience.
I am amazed at the variety of covers that are poorly done, generic images or pulled off some template page. Once computer programs came out that allowed anyone to "design" and offered 100's of fonts; some tried using all of those fonts at once because they were there. The consequences were bad designs the general public became immune to.
When a book cover design shows up with some panache they, become irresistible to a vanilla world. So if you think your book is worthy, talk to your publisher about using an experienced designer. If you are a DYI self-publisher find a real designer with experience (no nephew art, please). I can't really attached pictures to comments but use your imagination; which would you rather pick up and read if you were say, a CFO, looking for book about your job of balancing company assents with a cover picturing:
A) A pencil and a calculator on it (really obvious)
Or
B) An Inuksuk (if you don't know what it is, look it up on Google images. :)
A good book cover needs to tantalize the mind regardless of the content.
The content is left to the writer to do the tantalizing further... even if it is with numbers.
I did a cover like the one above, is was a best seller for that niche publishing company.
Inuksuik
Are those my only choices? Until I looked at the inuksuk photo twice, I'd have said the obvious one. I understand your point that evocative art is better than obvious, but I also think book covers be instantly understandable, and I had to think about the inuksuk meaning for a second or two.
And this, dear readers, is why we have endless cover discussions! The artist has vision, and the agent is a worrywort!
DLM asked
Janet, I understand that there is also the possibility that an author's chosen title may be changed. This is one of those warnings I used to hear earlier in my authorial education, but haven't run across in recent years; is it an urban legend - "Don't get too attached to your title, they'll KILL IT FOR MARKETING!" - or a genuine issue?
Titles are also the purview of the publisher, although most contracts have "mutually agreed upon" clauses for that. In other words your novel "Stalking Jack Reacher" can't be changed to "Celery Stalking Reaches Jack" without your consent.
We have monkey knife fights about titles all the time. All The Time.
On Saturday we talked about where to start your novel when you have conflicting advice.
I suggested there is no hard and fast rule. What works for one reader may not work for another.
BJ Muntain made a good point here
I believe that if you're getting conflicting advice - especially from industry professionals, as these the workshop leader and editor were - then it's possible you're at the point where it's a matter of taste, more than skill. While you can do something about skill, you can't please every reader's taste. If your beginning reaches this point, then it might be time to stop worrying as much (you'll never stop) about the beginning, until you get an agent or editor willing to work with you to get it published.
And just a reminder, you can subscribe to my mailing list here:
The newsletters are going to be mostly about client books and goings on.
See you next week!
Subheader noms:
I learn and laugh on a daily basis here. --Kae Bell
I learned to eat Kale in the Oregon State Penitentiary and loved it. --Brian M. Biggs
(I love this on from Brian, but without context, it might lead to the idea that he'd had been a guest of the government so, it was dq'ed from further consideration)
Honestly, Carolynn, I look forward to your comments almost as much as I look forward to Janet's posts. :)--Bethany Elizabeth
First pages are the devil that flicks flames at our feet throughout the months of writing and querying.--Sherry Howard
I'm with Colin. I don't want my picture on my book's back cover (I don't want his picture on my book's back cover, either.) --Joseph Snoe
But honestly I'm in such despair about the election stuff, I'm going to leave the subheader from last week.